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Wait what are we talking about here? Sex Ed in schools teach you about using protection and STDs and parents teach about protection. Pornography teaches you how your junk fits into a woman's junk. They're not teaching the same thing at all... I'm confused.

 

(If it teaches anything in the first place)

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Yeah, that's my issue with it. Saying that kids learn stuff from pornography, or at least anything useful is a bit of a stretch. inb4 porn joke

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Well, my point was that they aren't really trying to learn anything from pornography, although I guess they're subconsciously curious... but obviously most guys would do it for other reasons.

 

I guess the only curiosity would come from the fact that pornography itself is tabooed, then they'd want to check it out themselves. But again, it's not really anything... purposeful.

 

Which is why the whole pornography thing has little to do with curiosity. It is involved in some situations, but for most it wouldn't need to be, lol.

 

Which is why I agree it should be one of those things that shouldn't be mentioned (the actual porn part) because well, it's a private thing. Sex obviously is a whole different story. Teaching them about it if the schools aren't should be one of those things talked about. Even though it might not encourage them to not have sex, it will encourage them to do it safely if they ever do it, which ultimately is a winning goal regardless.

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Parents shouldn't talk about porn, but they should teach about proper sexual practice and safety. They should also encourage open discussion and questions, and support the person no matter their orientation (I'm looking at you, southern US)

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I've been wondering for a few days now: When is the most difficult time to raise children? Is it when they're toddlers, or is it when they start attending school? I'm currently leaning towards the schooling ages, since that brings a whole heap of responsibilities to have as a parent - bullying, grades, rebellion, etc.

 

I've always felt that the parent has a huge role to play during these years - you can't just drop a child to school and expect them to start learning. In fact, it's perhaps one of the easiest ways for them to dislike school - they don't understand the value of it and think it's pointless, so they refuse to do it. My personal view is that they should be softly encouraged and taught the value of school, and to have them enjoy school so they can really start learning.

 

I think if I were a parent, I'd make them attend ethical reasoning classes too - It's good to be a critical, individual thinker who doesn't simply accept everything that the press, the government and every other authority throws at you. To have a level of skepticism and realism is essential at the older years, and especially useful as it develops evaluative skills for exams.

 

Oh, and before I forget - essential life skills too! I see far too many young people incapable of holding a knife properly - literally what I'd describe as 'can't boil water'. I think children should be taught how to cook from a relatively young age - perhaps 13/14.

 

Essentially, my ideals of being a parent would be to teach and cherish their natural curiousity, and teaching them essential things needed throughout life i.e. being able to live independently (including budgeting, chores, cooking etc.), understand responsibilities, have values and principals and being somewhat critical is approximately the right path towards success. What do you guys think?

 

I guess that's my two cents. Apologies for the long rant.

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I wouldn't ever want to be a parent. I want to do things for myself instead of dedicating my life to someone else. Yes, we are probably genetically engineered to view raising our own children as the supreme goal in life, but that ticks me off for some reason.

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I realise that in my previous post it seems as though I'm emphasizing life skills - I'm really not. Finding the right balance is perhaps the most difficult thing to do, but one must certainly not neglect life skills.

 

I see far too many young adults who are still dependent on their parents - that to me is saddening. I don't mean just the occasional 'Hey dad, could you wire me some money' - I mean everything from cooking to cleaning to everything else in life.

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I see far too many young adults who are still dependent on their parents - that to me is saddening. I don't mean just the occasional 'Hey dad, could you wire me some money' - I mean everything from cooking to cleaning to everything else in life.

It wouldn't be as so if some mothers weren't so impatient at teaching their kids...

 

I have never done the laundry once in my entire life because my mother would get so impatient and irridated when we (my sister or I) did it wrong and just did it herself.

 

I tired doing things on my own but when she hears the stove turn on, or the washing machine turn on, my mother would come on over asking what I'm doing. Then she offers help, which I cannot refuse since its "her kitchen and you're gonna make a mess". Then it's an annoying bickering back and forth over how I'm doing it wrong and should do it her way. <_<

 

I do feel embarrassed sometimes by the fact my 'mommy' still cooks and does my laundry and I'm 18 years old out of high school with an Associate Degree.

 

When I'm a father, I'll let my kids do work around the house. If they [bleep] up I'm not going to nag at them but explain what they did wrong and let them do it again. I think every parent should be patient in teaching and not be worried about efficiency when teaching.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Does the reason you can't cook have more to do with not knowing what ingredients to buy, or even how to buy them, more than it does with simply not having any experience of preparing food? When I went to university, three of my six housemates couldn't cook for themselves, but they knew how to use an oven for ready meals or a microwave to heat things through. They also knew how to boil pasta and rice. I often wondered why they didn't just learn how to fry meat and veg (for which there's about a zillion online guides if one needs instructions) because that was really the only thing stopping them from putting it all together and making a full meal by themselves.

 

I kind of got the feeling they just didn't know how to put together a weekly shopping list, or even what to buy. The fact they usually bought things on an ad hoc basis was probably evidence of that, but the sad reality is while they spent upward of £40 on food/wk, I was only spending £25 and using the other £15 on alcohol and luxuries like eating out or drinking.

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Why don't people beat their children anymore? Sometimes I see those kids in the store misbehaving and you can just tell that the parents don't discipline the kid. It pisses me off that parents won't give their kids a good ass whooping every now and then. Not saying that I'm a perfect child, but I was beaten as a kid. I usually listen to and obey my parents, and I am not rebellious like some people. Spankings did me good, and I am grateful that my parents beat me as a kid. People need to realize that it works. Giving kids a time-out or a grounding doesn't. (Well, at a younger age of course.)

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You do know that there is a difference between a spanking and a beating right?

 

I had both. Use common sense here. I'm not going to beat a baby, but I might beat a child of an older age.

Why on Earth would you beat anybody? Spanking is a punishment, beating is abuse.

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You do know that there is a difference between a spanking and a beating right?

 

I had both. Use common sense here. I'm not going to beat a baby, but I might beat a child of an older age.

Why on Earth would you beat anybody? Spanking is a punishment, beating is abuse.

 

It works.

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Does the reason you can't cook have more to do with not knowing what ingredients to buy, or even how to buy them, more than it does with simply not having any experience of preparing food?

It's the lack of experience. I can read a recipe and follow it as best as I can, but I can never try that in my house without being looked over upon.

 

It's not that I CAN'T cook so when I move out I'm screwed, but, I just never did it before.

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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Does the reason you can't cook have more to do with not knowing what ingredients to buy, or even how to buy them, more than it does with simply not having any experience of preparing food?

It's the lack of experience. I can read a recipe and follow it as best as I can, but I can never try that in my house without being looked over upon.

 

It's not that I CAN'T cook so when I move out I'm screwed, but, I just never did it before.

 

It was the same thing with me and laundry. My mom did all of my laundry until I moved out, but I know how to do laundry.

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I dislike parents who scapegoat television, video games and schools. It's the parents duty to moderate or explain what children watch. I also believe things such as Sex Ed in schools is a kind of brushing off of parental obligations. As I've been taught, your first teacher is your parents. If people complain about the lack of values in society, then it is the fault of the parents in society who fail to properly discipline and educate their children; media and education systems are only obliged to fulfill their immediate telos (i.e. media's is to disseminate information selected by respective groups, education systems's is to teach factual information).

 

A good parent is a parent who makes sure their children is a respectful, practical member of society. I've had a maid clean and press my laundry, clean my room and what not all my life, but my father and grandfather made me learn how to do so regardless. Just because one has the convenience of a luxury in one moment of their life does not mean it should be perpetual, therefore one must know how to live without it even if one has it. That's why parents, very relevant to contemporary society, must discipline children with living comfortably yet humbly, even if they have the means to splurge. Nurture has a great deal to do with why society is the way it is, and old people who complain how it was so much better in their days need to stop speaking and play their part by creating discipline.

 

 

So in conclusion, the best methodology of parenting is providing the correct devices and values to make good decisions, enforcing them when necessary with nonphysical punishment (i.e. you broke X rule, you lose Y privilege). Past that, parents should not interfere with the social life, etc. of the child unless it is detrimental to their well being. Children need to make mistakes and fail, that's part of learning, but it's important they have the foundation for overcoming and amending their failures.

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He who wears his morality but as his best garment were better naked... Your daily life is your temple and your religion
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Whoa, my old thread got bumped.

 

On the issue of beating: I think no child should ever endure beating - it's essentially physical abuse and an expression of anger through violence. It teaches very little in terms of values and such, but it does is perpetuate a feeling of fear and discomfort so the child seems to be obedient - and thus would make it seem like it's an effective method to keep children in line.

 

I'd say maybe it does work for a few years - but in the long run, all it does is create more problems later on in life. This is speaking from someone of Chinese upbringing - it's considered traditional and non-taboo to beat a child if they 'misbehave'.

 

I do promise myself that if I were to have kids, I would keep an open perspective about things. I don't like the generational gap babyboomers who blame television and music and videogames for youth violence. I guess time shall tell whether that's the case.

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No child should ever have to endure a "beating" yes, but mild physical punishment is the most effective tool for discipline at a young age imo (like a light slap or spanking). After the age of 5 or 6 there are better punishments.

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"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti

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Guest jrhairychest

I dislike parents who scapegoat television, video games and schools. It's the parents duty to moderate or explain what children watch. I also believe things such as Sex Ed in schools is a kind of brushing off of parental obligations. As I've been taught, your first teacher is your parents. If people complain about the lack of values in society, then it is the fault of the parents in society who fail to properly discipline and educate their children; media and education systems are only obliged to fulfill their immediate telos (i.e. media's is to disseminate information selected by respective groups, education systems's is to teach factual information).

 

A good parent is a parent who makes sure their children is a respectful, practical member of society. I've had a maid clean and press my laundry, clean my room and what not all my life, but my father and grandfather made me learn how to do so regardless. Just because one has the convenience of a luxury in one moment of their life does not mean it should be perpetual, therefore one must know how to live without it even if one has it. That's why parents, very relevant to contemporary society, must discipline children with living comfortably yet humbly, even if they have the means to splurge. Nurture has a great deal to do with why society is the way it is, and old people who complain how it was so much better in their days need to stop speaking and play their part by creating discipline.

 

 

So in conclusion, the best methodology of parenting is providing the correct devices and values to make good decisions, enforcing them when necessary with nonphysical punishment (i.e. you broke X rule, you lose Y privilege). Past that, parents should not interfere with the social life, etc. of the child unless it is detrimental to their well being. Children need to make mistakes and fail, that's part of learning, but it's important they have the foundation for overcoming and amending their failures.

 

Good post. Pretty much agree with everything there. :thumbup:

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I think the best real bet is a quick slap across the face if they do something wrong or give you lip, if they do something really bad then you need to wake them up periodically through the night and remind them how angry you are by shaking them awake and shouting at them; that way they will know that what they have done is wrong and won't do it again because they want to sleep. Although maybe beating them is a bit harsh I still think a light slap is reasonable.

I agree with Adraneal to a point in his post regarding them being a doctor, laywer, engineer or scientist: I will discourage my child from doing any liberal media like music and all that if they express an interest in pursuing it as a career, I won't be angry, just dissapointed.

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