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Mr. Kitterson


Sir_Squab

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It has come to my attention that there is a serious problem on this forum. This problem pertains to a member known only as "Kimberly" and more specifically her associate "Mr. Kitterson" who has, up until this point, has been seen but not named.

 

[spoiler=A picture of Mr. Kitterson]10GkG.gif

 

 

This "Mr. Kitterson" has been seen over a variety of places in the forum, giving the indication of being a baker by wearing a bakers hat and kneading dough. I have come to tell you that this is a lie. It has come to my attention that, despite posing as one of tipits best bakers, he was unwilling to bake the Cake of Jas.

 

While this alone is not a crime, upon further interrogation it was revealed that Mr. Kitterson has never proceeded past the kneading dough stage of baking! I imagine you must feel the same horror as I upon finding out that, despite posing as a cute kitten-chef, he is actually a fraud.

 

Although I do not hold power over the law of tipit, I cannot stand silent in this matter. I feel it is my duty that we, as tipit, either make sure Mr. Kitterson learns how to bake or... I do not want to think these dark thoughts, but nor can we leave this crime unpunished. I suggest we give Mr. Kitterson and his associate Kimberly an ultimatum; either Mr. Kitterson learns how to bake or they shall feast upon our wrath.

 

Thank you. That is all.

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Your interpretation is all wrong, for you see, Mr.Kitterson is not a baker but an artist. The perpetual kneading of the dough isn't due to inability, but it is instead representative of the constant toil of the lower class that is required to sustain America and can even be extrapolated to represent the world on a whole. The fact that Mr.Kitterson never actually bakes anything is because the lower class aren't the ones who get to benefit from the fruits of their labor, no, they will never get to enjoy the delicious baked goods that are made. They simply knead. Nothing more, nothing less.

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What is this, I don't even

99 dungeoneering achieved, thanks to everyone that celebrated with me!

 

♪♪ Don't interrupt me as I struggle to complete this thought
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And I won't be till my head falls off ♪♪

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We demand you instruct your kitten further in the culinary arts

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Your interpretation is all wrong, for you see, Mr.Kitterson is not a baker but an artist. The perpetual kneading of the dough isn't due to inability, but it is instead representative of the constant toil of the lower class that is required to sustain America and can even be extrapolated to represent the world on a whole. The fact that Mr.Kitterson never actually bakes anything is because the lower class aren't the ones who get to benefit from the fruits of their labor, no, they will never get to enjoy the delicious baked goods that are made. They simply knead. Nothing more, nothing less.

An excellent and accurate view of the situation.

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Your interpretation is all wrong, for you see, Mr.Kitterson is not a baker but an artist. The perpetual kneading of the dough isn't due to inability, but it is instead representative of the constant toil of the lower class that is required to sustain America and can even be extrapolated to represent the world on a whole. The fact that Mr.Kitterson never actually bakes anything is because the lower class aren't the ones who get to benefit from the fruits of their labor, no, they will never get to enjoy the delicious baked goods that are made. They simply knead. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

My mind is blown. It all makes sense though.

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okay, thanks

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Ahem.

 

We of the International Harpie Court of Law will hereby be pressing charges against the defendant, "Mr. Kitterson". We charge the defendant with First-Degree Murder, Arson, Felony Murder, Negligent Homicide, Assault and Battery, Identity Theft, Grand Larceny, and Vandalism. The following is an explanation of the charges we believe the defendant is guilty of.

 

The defendant was witnessed and has confessed to the bodily harm of a select few members of the Tip.It Forums Community. The following is an account of the actions. Upon repeated requests to create a pastry known as the "Cake of Jas", Mr Kitterson was found to not possess the skills to perform said requests. In his disappointment and fury, Mr Kitterson vowed to not only acquire said skills, but to seek revenge on his innocent "tormentors". Thus, Mr Kitterson imposed his presence on a high-ranking official in the Tip.It Forums Community, a certain Ms. Kimberly. After assuming, or rather, controlling, the identity of the victim, the defendant sought out the previous artisans who have created the Cake of Jas. It is known that upon finding said creator, Mr Kitterson was placed in an apprenticeship program so he may learn the fine culinary arts. Under this program, Mr Kitterson was placed in charge of one oven and two assistants.

 

Mr Kitterson, however, had more vile plots than education. He instructed one of his assistants to take a can of "cleaning oil", or rather, a fabricated Molotov Cocktail, and use it to clean his oven. This created an explosion in which the oven and the assistant were destroyed. The explosion was also large enough to distract the Creator, giving the defendant his window of opportunity. Mr Kitterson proceeded to burn the Creator's bakery to the ground, but not before stealing the Creator's personal Cake of Jas. In the fire, the Creator and remaining assistant were killed.

 

The defendant proceeded to return to his own domicile and examine the stolen Cake of Jas. After touching it, Mr Kitterson felt a surge of reckless power and culinary genius. He sneaked into the property of Sir Squab, Knight of the Harpie Republic and reknowned for this intellect and Thinking Abilities. Clearly, Mr Kitterson believed Squab to be the source of all his troubles. While Squab was sleeping, Mr Kitterson attacked Squab with his powers from the Cake of Jas, and using his newly learned cooking abilities (level 120), gruesomely baked Squab into the Cake of Jas.

 

The following is the defendant's confession to the above accusations. Read it carefully. Many bothans died to bring us this information.

 

s01D1.png

 

Thereby, we, the prosecution, charge the defendant of all the above charges, restated below.

 

First-Degree Murder, Arson, Felony Murder, Negligent Homicide, Assault and Battery, Identity Theft, Grand Larceny, Vandalism

 

This is a heartfelt appeal from those who knew and loved Squab, the Creator, Kimberly, and all those affected by the defendant's treachery. We hope the Court will carry out justice in this case.

 

You, members of the Tip.It Forums Community, are all cordially invited to show your support in this trial. Simply visit my blog, linked below in my signature, and post, voicing your concerns over this renegade of the law who is still permitted to assume the identity of poor Ms. Kimberly, may she rest in peace.

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Well, he just has to knead that dough for a long time. After all, he's making one tough cookie.

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pass ur Judgment

 

[pun]

 

New evidence:

 

photo-18162.jpg

 

said evidence was derived from the defense attorney's profile page

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I demand that the Cake of Jas be handed to me, so that I may eat it and my master may be re-born.

 

I demand that the great powers of tipit rollback Mr. Kitterson's 120 cooking.

 

I demand that Mr. Kitterson either enroll in a cooking class or have some sort of notice so that Mr. Kitterson does not appear as a fraudulent baker.

 

That is my judgment. Failure to comply with this will result in me unleashing my powers on tipit; an demonstration of these powers is found in my signature.

 

Good day.

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I...am bewildered.

 

Certainly i've missed something

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

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