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Interracial Relationships. Yes or No?


Noxx

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Although it might seem like a pretty basic "Yes or No" question, it's not really as simple as that. There's a lot that should be considered when answering.

 

In some societies, seeing a interracial couple is still highly frowned upon. This in itself could make for a difficult relationship.

 

Then there's another factor to consider. Children. For lack of better wording i'll refer to them as half-breed or mixed-breeds. Sooner or later he's going to become confused as to why he's not one color, nor another, but a combination of both. Sooner or later he's going to wonder why his parents are not the same color. Although this may seem like simple matters, it could cause much confusion for a child.

 

Then another factor that could play a role would be your beliefs. Is it against your beliefs? Although i doubt any religion forbids interracial relationships, there's always the possibility.

 

The last thing i can think of, that might have a slight impact on your answer, are you parents/family. Although your family should not be too much of a worry, your parents might be. If your parents are against interracial relationships (and let's face it, many of our parents might be considering the time they grew up in) it might make things extra difficult. You might be faces with two choices. Her/Him or your parents. Although your parents will probably love you no matter what they say, is a relationship with a "stranger" really worth taking over the relationship of your parents? The people who fed you, clothed you and educated you your whole life.

 

 

From my personal experience i can say that interracial relationships are not as easy as a same-race relationship. Although i live in an area where it's not really frowned upon, you would still get the occasional stare. It might not seem like much, but sooner or later it becomes an annoyance. My ex-girlfriend was Pakistani. And although her skin was fairly light, one of her sisters as well as her mother was not. If we were to have children, there would always be the chance of a dark baby. This, like i said, could lead to much confusion in the later stages of the child's development. Also my parents are against it. Very against it. They have this idea that "you should stick to your own type". I get angry when they say that, but they grew up in Apartheid (for the most part) so one can't really blame them for being stuck on that mindset.

 

 

Anyway, i would like to hear your thoughts, views and opinions.

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Its simple they are fine.

 

1) In some societies, seeing a interracial couple is still highly frowned upon. This in itself could make for a difficult relationship.

 

Screw them, society don;t matter you do.

 

2) Then there's another factor to consider. Children. For lack of better wording i'll refer to them as half-breed or mixed-breeds. Sooner or later he's going to become confused as to why he's not one color, nor another, but a combination of both. Sooner or later he's going to wonder why his parents are not the same color. Although this may seem like simple matters, it could cause much confusion for a child.

 

Utter twoddle. I know plenty of mixed raced people and not one has had any sort of confusion or issues because skin colour means nothing.

 

3) Then another factor that could play a role would be your beliefs. Is it against your beliefs? Although i doubt any religion forbids interracial relationships, there's always the possibility.

 

Yeah but anybody that religious is normally a nutcase, so who cares? Religious books give loads of stupid rules that are ignored by the average joe because they are outdated and stupid

 

4) The last thing i can think of, that might have a slight impact on your answer, are you parents/family. Although your family should not be too much of a worry, your parents might be. If your parents are against interracial relationships (and let's face it, many of our parents might be considering the time they grew up in) it might make things extra difficult. You might be faces with two choices. Her/Him or your parents. Although your parents will probably love you no matter what they say, is a relationship with a "stranger" really worth taking over the relationship of your parents? The people who fed you, clothed you and educated you your whole life.

 

If your parents really love you they want you to be happy, if they can't be happy when you love someone screw them.

 

tl;dr: Screw other people, if you love someone you love them and that's enough.

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No.

Why not?

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While interracial relationships can certainly have challenges that same-race relationships have, it's a judgment call on the part of those who wish to participate in one as to whether or not it's worth it.

 

Personally, if you deem it to be worth it, I see no good reason to prevent them.

 

However, I admit that my preference is to date someone of a similar race to myself, however that is certainly not a solid rule I abide my.

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It sounds like you've made up random assumptions about interracial relationships Nox, not many people actually think that. There would only be minor confusion to the child's development, that natural curiosity children have but they'll accept themselves if you instill into them that it is okay.

 

I know plenty of mixed race people and they're perfectly a-okay with their skin colour. I guess some sensitive individuals feel the tug of cultures colliding though. I could imagine it would be very hard for a pakistani to marry an indian and have their whole family accept.

 

On personal preferences I do not date anyone of my own race/similar asian race.

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I have absolutely no problem with it.

 

Sooner or later he's going to become confused as to why he's not one color, nor another, but a combination of both. Sooner or later he's going to wonder why his parents are not the same color.

 

What I'm about to say is a completely baseless assumption, but I'd think that growing up with parents of two different "colours" would make someone grow up thinking that colour/race is not a big deal. And that's how it should be IMO.

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No.

Why not?

 

I don't support it, but I'm not going to stop. If it makes people happy then let it be, I just don't really see it happening with myself at all.

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While interracial relationships can certainly have challenges that same-race relationships have, it's a judgment call on the part of those who wish to participate in one as to whether or not it's worth it.

 

Personally, if you deem it to be worth it, I see no good reason to prevent them.

 

However, I admit that my preference is to date someone of a similar race to myself, however that is certainly not a solid rule I abide my.

 

I agree. As much as we're all subject to our own little biases, such as the human tendency of people to be more likely to be friends with or date people of similar (racial) backgrounds, there is absolutely no justifiable cause to stop people who don't wish to follow that.

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@Gabe.

Ah fair enough

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I didn't realize people still had strong feelings on this.

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People should be free to choose their sexual partners regardless of race. I don't see any reason why it shouldn't happen. Societal norms change over time, and it is only frowned upon because it was quite rare in the past, but I don't think that as reason to stop anyone.

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I didn't realize people still had strong feelings on this.

 

This is the internet. The internet is made up of people from all across the world. Did you believe that no one on this planet, or at the very least no one well-off enough to have regular access to a computer with internet, doesn't have strong feelings?

 

As for me, I don't care. Like Sy said, if people frown upon, [bleep] them. Although I have to admit it would be difficult living in a society where it is frowned upon; that is entirely different from having parents or a small amount of friends disliking it.

 

It comes down to where you live. From what I know of Noxx, he lives in the middle east somewhere. I don't know much about the middle east, but I can easily imagine how it would be far more difficult to have an interracial relationship there then in (most of) Canada or the US, for example.

 

I also think the term "race" is mis-leading. Many conflicts in history have been between people that an outsider would consider to same race. For example, Rwanda. Or an Indian and a Pakistani(?) which ultimately boils down more to an issue of religion then of race.

 

It's an issue that is going to be more prevalent in less developed countries. In the eys of the "modern" or western world it isn't a big issue.

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It sounds like you've made up random assumptions about interracial relationships Nox, not many people actually think that. There would only be minor confusion to the child's development, that natural curiosity children have but they'll accept themselves if you instill into them that it is okay.

 

I know plenty of mixed race people and they're perfectly a-okay with their skin colour. I guess some sensitive individuals feel the tug of cultures colliding though. I could imagine it would be very hard for a pakistani to marry an indian and have their whole family accept.

 

On personal preferences I do not date anyone of my own race/similar asian race.

One of my older cousins married an Indian woman in South Africa. They have a boy who, when he was about 5 years old, started going to day-care. He was one of two non-white children there. Coincidentally the other non-white boy there was also child to an interracial couple (my cousin's best friend). Anyway, their kinds did start asking questions as to why not both their parents were of same colour. He's 7 now, in a school where the majority of the students are white (about a 5:1 ratio). He has only 2 or 3 friends because he's a mixed-breed child. The black kinds don't want to be his friends because he's not black, and the white kind don't want to be his friend because he's not white.

Although this is only one example, it should still give you a idea of the South African mindset (although it is slightly improving with our generation)

 

I think in most parts of South Africa, my parents' generation is still very much against interracial relationships. And that's a huge problem because most of them (all of my school friends' parents) had no problem expressing their racism. This rubbed off on my friends, and my parents rubbed off on me. We had about 8 coloured people in our school of ~1500 students and the only people who befriended them were the other coloured students.

Sometimes when you go to the mall you would see the odd interracial couple here and there. People (mostly males of my dad's generation [ Black and White]) would walk past them and mutter profanities at them. Not loud enough to make a scene, but loud enough for them to hear.

Although this has nothing really to do with interracial relationships, it should give you an idea how racism and how it would would play a role in an interracial relationship. And a child who is not white, but not black either, receives hate from both sides.

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One memory that stands out in my mind clearly.

 

I was 8, before we moved for the first time. I was so sad, because I wouldn't be able to see my best friend Markus, who was black. And, being a flitty little girl that I was, I thought he was cute. It was my first argument that I was destined to lose, I didn't want to leave all my friends and cute little Markus. My parents told me then that I should try to date my same race.

 

It confused me greatly. And the older I got, it made me angry. It seemed prejudiced to impossible levels, which very much clashed with my perception of my parents. They were kind and open-minded people. In my mind, they couldn't be one of those people, racist and cruel. I finally got the balls to ask one day (figuratively speaking) when I was about 15 or 16. They were confused about why I was so angry. I wanted answers. And when they finally told me, I was ashamed for thinking the worst.

 

They never said it because they hated people of different races--but they knew others did. Even though such opposition won't die unless people stand up for it, a principle they were very familiar with, they wanted to protect me. People still are treated differently for interracial marriages. It wasn't the answer I had hoped for; I wanted to hear that I got my memories confused, that I was incorrect. That they were okay with it. Yet all they wanted to do was make sure their little girl was safe.

 

The older I got, the more I could understand them and forgive them for it. It was the only time their integrity ever came into question so drastically. And while a romantic side of me wishes they would heartily cheer it on, encouraging and beaming approval...realistically, if I was in their shoes, in a bad neighborhood as we were, with a young child, I'm not sure if I could say otherwise either. I am for interracial marriage, but my family would come first.

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Then there's another factor to consider. Children. For lack of better wording i'll refer to them as half-breed or mixed-breeds. Sooner or later he's going to become confused as to why he's not one color, nor another, but a combination of both. Sooner or later he's going to wonder why his parents are not the same color. Although this may seem like simple matters, it could cause much confusion for a child.

...so you explain it to them?

 

Of course interracial relationships are fine. If both people are happy then what's the problem?

 

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part of me understands the problem, and part doesn't

 

I understand Kimberly's point of "protecting your child from harm" but on the other hand i feel you are giving the wrong signal to your child by doing so.

I completely understand why your parents said that, it's to protect you, but on the other hand I think they send you the wrong message that way (ofc not saying you picked that up or anytihng, just the fact they did imo)

It's a bit the same here, though my parents never made any point of my friends, but tbh I'm not sure how well they knew my class when I was like 15, 16. I was never the popular kid, in fact useually the one being picked on. Maybe that's part of the reason I always link up with "that kind of people", the less popular ones, the outcast. Which, in our school were also, the black, brown, and shy people of course.

 

Now i probably got most of my problems from being an autist and not knowing i was till I was 16, but nevertheless.

 

edit: spelling errors fixed, hope I got them all

 

Edit2: For years I always felt my parents were the super open-minded very acceptable type, since they always said "we don't care who you come home with etc etc etc" but maybe I just failed to read between the lines. LThe last years though, I feel more and more differences between mainly me and my dad. It's useually just arguments about stuff in the news and he blames it useually on me being "only 20 and not having enough life experience etc". But I just feel like I'm a lot more open minded about things like different religions, immigrants and whatever else. But a while ago we had a little argument about the whole immigration thing again and he just more or less cut it off and refused to talk on about it, which left me wondering how he really thinks about it. But I don't feel like bringing it up again.

Now that last part probably sounded a lot more dramatic than it should have, but I can't word it better, blame autism for that:P

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I don't see how this is problematic. We are supposed to be a society that encourages coexistance - despite our many differences. If we disallow certain things such as this, this just shows that society hasn't grown up enough to coexist with one another yet. Maybe back in the 1950s when racism was still rampant it would be a problem, but I don't see how people would shun someone for being of mixed race. If they do that then they probably shun others because they're of a different race as well, which is called racism.

 

If people are referring to problems between the couple, I think they are more so reflecting upon their own personal sexual preferences over what others might think. People of the same colour marry and have fights. If someone of a different colour marry, they'll also fight. I don't see how race would affect anything.

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Then there's another factor to consider. Children. For lack of better wording i'll refer to them as half-breed or mixed-breeds. Sooner or later he's going to become confused as to why he's not one color, nor another, but a combination of both. Sooner or later he's going to wonder why his parents are not the same color. Although this may seem like simple matters, it could cause much confusion for a child.

...so you explain it to them?

 

Of course interracial relationships are fine. If both people are happy then what's the problem?

Not all 5 year old's are going to understand why mommy and daddy aren't both the same color but all his friends' parents are.

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I agree that it could have given the wrong ideas, but they never discouraged me from having the right ones, which are luckily the ones that form my core beliefs and principles today. And I'm not sure how you could explain such delicate social problems to a child at that age. It's definitely something I need to be prepared to handle for when I become a parent. (And boy, that's on the top 5 questions I'm going to have a hard time handling...)

 

Not all 5 year old's are going to understand why mommy and daddy aren't both the same color but all his friends' parents are.

 

No more than a child who would have a hard time understanding why Timmy would have two daddies. But these issues aren't harmful to child development when handled properly.

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I agree that it could have given the wrong ideas, but they never discouraged me from having the right ones, which are luckily the ones that form my core beliefs and principles today. And I'm not sure how you could explain such delicate social problems to a child at that age. It's definitely something I need to be prepared to handle for when I become a parent. (And boy, that's on the top 5 questions I'm going to have a hard time handling...)

 

Same for me, it could have given the wrong idea, which I think it hasn't, but it did give me a bit of a problem thinking about my dad etc, nothing big but well, i'm 20 now, it becomes an issue when you really start thinking about it and they (he and my mum) don't want to discuss about those things. Thb that't giving me some food for thought every now and then, like right now when I'm home alone for a week. (yes I still live at home at 20, my college is less than an hour travel, i'm not moving if I don't need to eh:P)

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and I didn't speak out because I wasn't fishing;

Then they came to the yews

and I didn't speak out because I didn't cut yews;

Then they came for the ores

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Then they came for me

and there was no one left to speak out for me.

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I agree that it could have given the wrong ideas, but they never discouraged me from having the right ones, which are luckily the ones that form my core beliefs and principles today. And I'm not sure how you could explain such delicate social problems to a child at that age. It's definitely something I need to be prepared to handle for when I become a parent. (And boy, that's on the top 5 questions I'm going to have a hard time handling...)

 

Not all 5 year old's are going to understand why mommy and daddy aren't both the same color but all his friends' parents are.

 

No more than a child who would have a hard time understanding why Timmy would have two daddies. But these issues aren't harmful to child development when handled properly.

Good point.

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I can't think of any valid reasons not to have interracial couples (like I don't know of any genetic based problems specific to interracial breeding). It's not something I pay much attention to.

 

On a personal level though, I have never felt any sexual attraction to someone that was not my own ethnicity, and don't expect I ever will. I can appreciate looks well enough, but my libido isn't in it.

 

As for the social complications, I think at least where I live that interracial couples are such an inconsequential thing that this wouldn't be much of a problem. The child will probably accept that their parents look way more different from each other than most parents as just the way things are. The only real problem I could see is teasing based on it, if its an area where this sort of thing matters, but then, children will tease for just about anything. If not your parents, then something else.

 

Honestly, the biggest problem I can see is that most people are only attracted to their own ethnicity, and mixed ethnicities are not very common, which seriously limits the dating pool for the child (though I think many parents would consider this to be a blessing during the teenage years). Or maybe being two ethnicities makes you attracted to both. I honestly don't know if this is even a problem or not.

 

But yeah, if two people love each other, go for it. I don't think it'll ruin the child's life or anything.

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