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A Jagex Orange. Where the Mods send you for forum vacations.


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Recently, I had to endure a forum vacation, but that is not what this thread is about, this thread is about where they sent me.


When I awoke, I was in a nice clean white room, with nice looking people, they were all acting surprisingly nice to me, they told me about the alternative, where most players sent on vacation are sent, a grueling jail where they are forced to do hard labor, but they said "I was a lucky one." One of the nurses smirked after that was stated, I didn't think anything of it. They told me I would be doing a test, to help better player behavior and perhaps end what they called trolling. They called it the Ludovico treatment, yelps addition.


I was given a delicious breakfest, pancakes, with bacon, along side of orange juice. They then told me about the test, they said, all we are going to do is to have me watch a movie. I was first injected on what they would call awakening potions, to ensure I don't fall asleep doing the presentation. They strapped me in, and strapped my eyes open, to ensure I wouldn't miss any of the movie.


The movie started, the first scene was about a SOF thread, which was considered spam, they showed me the replies throughout, it was at this point, I started to feel horribly ill, I hadn't realized the "awakening potions" they injected me with was actually some sort of medicine meant to induce sickness. I screamed to stop it again, but they would only turn up the threads reading in response. This procedure continued for 12 more hours, one of the last scenes showed for that day was a hang yelps thread with the "Rainbow Trololo Theme" playing, "I screamed, how could such lovely music be mixed with such violent pain?" By then I realized what the injection was. The doctor stated "I don't know much about music, aside that its great for influencing emotions, but you seem like you would be a strapping young man if you weren't against SOF updates." I screamed, "but SOF updates are causing RWT! They are allowing us to practically buy gold!"


The doctor stated, "In due time, you will see the error your way, but I will have you know, that these updates are hurting actual RWTers buisness. Don't forget we are not RWTing as Jagex is not a 3rd party company." The movies ended, and the pain finally wore off, they said, "You have made progress, but we shall continue the treatment tomorrow." All I could think to my self is that I had to endure more of this wretched treatment. They served me dinner, It was an odd one to say the least, it was Cotton Candy Strings, with uncooked apple pies. Odd, but I was just delighted to finally be away from the treatment. I went to bed soon after.


Later that night however something odd happened, I heard a thread about the problems of Sgs, I had no medicine injected in me this time, but I felt the same type of pain as if I was injected, I didn't understand what was happening, I fell out of bed and started to scream. Eventually the reading stopped, I thought I heard a laugh, but It was likely my imagination. I went back to sleep, undisturbed.


The next days treatment was very similiar, I had to endure the same pain, as the first day of treatment, It was horrible, as usual, however, after the treatment was over, just thinking about negativity against the SOF caused great pain, I was confused. The third day came, and they told me, there will be no injection today, they had some special guests this time as well, Mod MMG, Mod Mark, Mod Emily, and a few forum moderators were all their to witness my third and final day of treatment.


The doctor told the moderators about the treatment. He stated "With it, we can ensure all trolls become passive, and we can ensure that the 10% who don't already support SOF, will now support it! The doctor was excited. He mentioned also about the medcine injected into me, and how I would no longer need it, and because of that trolls, as he called them, could now be controlled.


The treatment started, I started to feel the intense pain again of the last two treatments, but realized what has happened, I realized the treament was sucessful, and I could no longer state my opinions about SOF. I was no longer a free man. I began to cry in sheer pity. The Mod MMG, and the rest of the Jagex staff who attended were quite excited. The Forum Moderators were disgusted, one passed out, another one began to cry, realizing that they may have gone too far, Jagex reassured they were doing fine. As the proceedure continued, the Forum Moderators left the the room, while the Jagex Moderators watched in excitement.


The procedure finally ended. Mod MMG, then asked, "I see this works very well, but how much will it cost?" The doctor stated "It is cheap as can be, with it, we shall ensure no troll will troll our forums ever again!" Mod MMG, and the other Jagex Moderators looked satisfied. The doctors then released me out onto the forums again, where I tell my story about where I was taken during my forum vacation.

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That's a lot of text to say you're unhappy you've become complacent with Squeal updates.

Sounds more like he got a temp forum ban or something.

2480+ total

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I read it all. Now I want to watch A Clockwork Orange. I will tomorrow.

Try reading it =-d


Dat Nadsat

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?~ Marianne Williamson


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