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The Self-Development Thread


muggiwhplar

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Estonian, English, Norwegian, somewhat lesser German, Swedish, limited Russian and Danish. Beat that.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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I know english, ingles, anglisht, الإنجليزية, anglais, 英語, 英語, and saesneg.

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The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]
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Personally, I love self-development. My biggest "general" self-development goal is to be the best "jack-of-all-trades" that I can possibly be.

 

In the short term, I would love to get my body back into shape, hopefully somewhere around 5% body fat (currently around 15%) - this will become easier as the dark and gloomy winter days disappear into spring and summer.

 

In the long term, I would like to get at least two bachelors and masters degrees, and maybe (hopefully) pursue atleast one PhD if not more.

I would also like to continue to improve my knowledge of guitar (and variations), piano, drums, and hopefully go on to learn violin, cello, and possibly even viola.

Also of course things like a family, getting married, etc. would be nice as well.

 

I'd also love to become completely fluent in Spanish and become knowledgeable (fluent enough to read/hear) in Portuguese and German (I am predicting these will be the upcoming most powerful countries in the next 30 years).

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My short term goal is to have the last word on every thread on the first page of OffTopic minus the pinned. I did this on Forum Games once back in the day and blew BlazikenMaster's mind.

Trying to do it again. Shan't be hard.

 

Long term goal?

Try to hold a conversation with someone I don't know well for more than six lines of dialogue. Seriously. Conversation is obsolete, I suck at holding one.

 

Any tips on how to carry on (minus the subtraction of short answer things that I tend to do a lot)?

  • Like 1
Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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My short term goal is to have the last word on every thread on the first page of OffTopic minus the pinned. I did this on Forum Games once back in the day and blew BlazikenMaster's mind.

Trying to do it again. Shan't be hard.

 

Long term goal?

Try to hold a conversation with someone I don't know well for more than six lines of dialogue. Seriously. Conversation is obsolete, I suck at holding one.

 

Any tips on how to carry on (minus the subtraction of short answer things that I tend to do a lot)?

 

Think.

 

I find thinking by myself helps me become curious about others.

 

It allows me to come up with ideas (and questions) to things I am unsure of and thus I am required to invest in other's for their input.

It also helps to know people and to spend regular and frequent time with them, you will automatically talk more if that happens.

 

But on the flip side I would also be aware of your personality type (whatever that may be INFP, ENFJ, etc.) and take that into account. Extreme INFJ's for example will almost ALWAYS find it hard to speak with others for long intervals unless absolutely necessary. So, just take that into account as well.

 

Also, lots of yes or no questions are unhelpful.

 

When talking with someone, find what the love or have a passion for, and quickly you see that they will do all the talking and you can relax. Haha.

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Today I was reflecting on some things in my life I'm not entirely comfortable with, and I actually thought long and hard about my gaming interests, so I thought I'd share some of it here in case anyone else might relate to it in some way.

 

In the end of it, I came to some pretty stark realisations about video gaming and how relatively useless it is towards self-development. We all have different reasons for gaming; I know mine and you probably know yours too. But today I realised that while I might play a video game after coming back home from work, other people do other things. Perhaps they go to the gym, or play an instrument in a band, or go to the pictures and see a film or whatever.

 

I'm 23 this month; I've reached that age where what I do in the long-term in regards to things like friends and family is more important to me than the short-term thrills of being young, healthy and (relatively) debtless. I go to work, and for the most part I lie about my personal life. I figure it doesn't hold much interest to the kind of people I work with (the clients are mostly elderly, the staff are mostly middle-aged and female), so I just don't mention gaming. If they ask "You get up to anything last night?", I shrug and say, "No, nothing much". I know myself that if someone responded that way to my attempts at getting to know them, I'd lose interest in them quite quickly, so why should it be any different if the boot's on the other side?

 

In reality, I'd probably achieved lots of XP in RuneScape or had a great game of Halo the night before, which means a lot to me, but that's not something anyone outside of RuneScape or Halo could really appreciate. Everyone desires to be fitter/healthier though, so you could more easily relate to someone who goes to the gym. I think that leads me to being alienated because outside of work, gaming or gaming-related interests take up the majority of my time. If I can't talk about it, that affects my self-confidence and that's counter productive to my personal self-development. I wouldn't say I have bad social skills necessarily, but it is an area I need to develop.

 

Of course, that's a personal observation, but I'd say if you're the kind of person that feels other people will judge you for gaming (and I feel plenty of people still hold those stereotypes about gamers), you're clearly not going to feel comfortable talking about it to other people and that will affect your confidence negatively.

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I was afraid to talk about my gaming habits until I got to college and lived in a fraternity. Literally EVERY room had an Xbox in it. I didn't realize that basically every guy was into gaming, at least to some degree. Granted, a lot of them just stuck to boring sports games, but there were still a ton of guys that played WoW or RS at some point. I'll never forget when the whole house downloaded Diablo II and we were all playing it together on our network. One of the guys was a total stereotypical jock, yet he knew EVERYTHING about Diablo. It was entertaining to watch him lean over everybody's shoulder and teach them how to play.

 

When it comes to my gaming habits, I own it. For example, if I'd rather stay at home on a Friday night to play RS than go out and drink w/ my friends, I'll acknowledge how ridiculous and nerdy it sounds.

Friend: You coming in to town tonight?

Me: I would, but this weekend is double experience in RuneScape, and I'm just tryin' to get some fat-ass XP. You know what I'm sayin?

Friend: God dammit.

 

There were even times in college where random sorority girls would wander into my room and be like, "What are you doing?" And then I'd be like, "I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. I'm trying to level up my strength to increase my DPS. But you're welcome to sit on my lap and watch if you want. :)"

 

If I had minimized RS as soon as someone walked in and been like, "OH I'M JUST LOOKING AT MY DESKTOP BACKGROUND!" that would've been awkward (for me at least).

 

 

As far as long-term growth goes, yeah, gaming's basically a waste of time. An exception would be if you're playing w/ your (RL) friends, though. But I don't feel guilty for playing games unless I've neglected my daily goals to play games. I have a calendar on my wall to keep track of my "progress." I've got two types of stickers: red and yellow scented smiley faces (they were the cheapest kind the office supply store offered >_> and they make my calendar smell like cherries. Stop judging me). If I made progress towards my 3 long-term goals, then I put a yellow smiley on that day on the calendar when the day's over. If I screw up on at least one of those things, I put a red smiley on the calendar.

 

With the release of RS07 I've been a pretty big piece of shit and I can feel my drive and happiness waning as a result of it, lol. But, two days before RS07 was released, a massive blizzard hit my town and so I couldn't drive anywhere lol. Then when the snow cleared, another blizzard came. And then I got sick for a few days. So, being snowed in + being sick = lots of RuneScape to keep the cabin fever at bay lol. I did manage to go party w/ my friends on the night when the snow was cleared and scheduled several dates too (though they were later canceled by the second blizzard). Still, these last two weeks of February on my calendar look pretty bad :|

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Yeah, don't be ashamed of your gaming. I was shocked at how many conversations I've had about Runescape with dudes I met at college. I kind of introduce the topic like "I can't believe how much of my life I spent on the 'Scape" and then I'd say like 1 in 15 guys will go "No doubt, I grinded hard to get X level in X". And from there, talking is easy. I hate when people ask me what I'm doing with myself and I've been doing nothing but play Battlefield 3 all week, but I hate saying "oh I'm not that interesting" even worse. I respond with more of a "I've been nerding hard lately". I like being geeky, and it shows I have a passion for something. Better than the "shut down" answer of "I didn't do much".

Quote

 

Quote

Anyone who likes tacos is incapable of logic.

Anyone who likes logic is incapable of tacos.

 

PSA: SaqPrets is an Estonian Dude

Steam: NippleBeardTM

Origin: Brand_New_iPwn

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Yeah, not gonna happen in my school. You just get flak. A lot of it. Believe me, I've tried.

One thing that really annoys me is how I seemingly can't keep a conversation going for more than 5 minutes with anyone that I communicate daily with. Only times that I really feel as part of a crowd is when I am with my former schoolmates, which happens once every 2 weeks or so...

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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I know more middle-aged women that play videogames than go to the gym so I dunno I think a lot more people play videogames that is readily apparent

 

I know more middle-aged women than I care to admit

FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

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Yeah, not gonna happen in my school. You just get flak. A lot of it. Believe me, I've tried.

Maybe it's because I'm not in school anymore but I'm at the point where anyone who criticizes me because of something that irrelevant will get weeded out of my life pronto.

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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Can't weed out my whole class.

Not if you are going to an "elite" school and pay for it.

t3aGt.png

 

So I've noticed this thread's regulars all follow similar trends.

 

RPG is constantly dealing with psycho exes.

Muggi reminds us of the joys of polygamy.

Saq is totally oblivious to how much chicks dig him.

I strike out every other week.

Kalphite wages a war against the friend zone.

Randox pretty much stays rational.

Etc, etc

 

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pipe mj smoke through the heating vents, weed out your whole class. chill and eat chicken and play halo. damn dude you ain't touching my controllers your fingers are all greasy from that chicken go wash your hands dang

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FBqTDdL.jpg

sleep like dead men

wake up like dead men

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Yeah, not gonna happen in my school. You just get flak. A lot of it. Believe me, I've tried.

One thing that really annoys me is how I seemingly can't keep a conversation going for more than 5 minutes with anyone that I communicate daily with. Only times that I really feel as part of a crowd is when I am with my former schoolmates, which happens once every 2 weeks or so...

 

It kinda depends what kind of flak they're giving you. If they're just giving you the typical "guy-flak" where they're just insulting you the way guys do, then just laugh it off and don't sweat it. But if they genuinely are trying to make you feel ashamed for your hobbies, then you need to just ignore and distance yourself from those people. People gravitate towards people who don't give a [bleep].

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I know more middle-aged women than I care to admit

I'm interested to discover how you know these women, now. :P

He plays halo and eats chicken with them.

 

 

Yeah, not gonna happen in my school. You just get flak. A lot of it. Believe me, I've tried.

One thing that really annoys me is how I seemingly can't keep a conversation going for more than 5 minutes with anyone that I communicate daily with. Only times that I really feel as part of a crowd is when I am with my former schoolmates, which happens once every 2 weeks or so...

 

It kinda depends what kind of flak they're giving you. If they're just giving you the typical "guy-flak" where they're just insulting you the way guys do, then just laugh it off and don't sweat it. But if they genuinely are trying to make you feel ashamed for your hobbies, then you need to just ignore and distance yourself from those people. People gravitate towards people who don't give a [bleep].

Yeah, I think if he just owns up to it no one will actually care that much for very long.

  • Like 1

Matt: You want that eh? You want everything good for you. You want everything that's--falls off garbage can

Camera guy: Whoa, haha, are you okay dude?

Matt: You want anything funny that happens, don't you?

Camera guy: still laughing

Matt: You want the funny shit that happens here and there, you think it comes out of your [bleep]ing [wagon] pushes garbage can down, don't you? You think it's funny? It comes out of here! running towards Camera guy

Camera guy: runs away still laughing

Matt: You think the funny comes out of your mother[bleep]ing creativity? Comes out of Satan, mother[bleep]er! nn--ngh! pushes Camera guy down

Camera guy: Hoooholy [bleep]!

Matt: FUNNY ISN'T REAL! FUNNY ISN'T REAL!

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When called a nerd I reply with something along the lines of "and a damn good one, too". If you act ashamed of something people can use it against you, but if you refuse to do so they often won't even try.

 

But then I wore chainmail to school multiple times during my senior year of high school so take my social advice with a grain of salt.

 

 

OT:

I think I'm gradually getting better at socializing with strangers and in general getting to know people. I still haven't actually hung out with anyone I've met at college, but I'm on pretty good terms with mostly everyone I'm in clubs with (stopping to chat outside of the clubs and such) and have even had a few successful conversations with total strangers in my classes.

These aren't exactly anything special, but they're steps in the right direction. Also I'm probably going to be a club officer for the University Chess Club next semester, and that'll probably force me to come out of my shell even more.

 

Also I've been practicing the martial arts regularly (Tae Kwon Do lessons twice a week at the University, along with Krav Maga and Tang Soo Do on other days) and I can really feel my flexibility and reactions improving, not to mention my balance and strength. It could go faster, but slow progress is one of the hazards of practicing classical martial arts instead of boxing or MMA. In all I'm pretty happy with my rate of improvement- heck, I almost beat an old sparring partner (who used to always cream me) recently.

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]
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I know more middle-aged women than I care to admit

I'm interested to discover how you know these women, now. :P

He plays halo and eats chicken with them.

 

 

Yeah, not gonna happen in my school. You just get flak. A lot of it. Believe me, I've tried.

One thing that really annoys me is how I seemingly can't keep a conversation going for more than 5 minutes with anyone that I communicate daily with. Only times that I really feel as part of a crowd is when I am with my former schoolmates, which happens once every 2 weeks or so...

 

It kinda depends what kind of flak they're giving you. If they're just giving you the typical "guy-flak" where they're just insulting you the way guys do, then just laugh it off and don't sweat it. But if they genuinely are trying to make you feel ashamed for your hobbies, then you need to just ignore and distance yourself from those people. People gravitate towards people who don't give a [bleep].

Yeah, I think if he just owns up to it no one will actually care that much for very long.

 

Yes-- I suspect a lot of teasing/bullying results simply from the fact that the bully enjoys knowing that they can get a rise out of someone. If they try to harass someone about something and the person isn't bothered, then they're not going to keep trying to bother that person.

77yLQy8.png

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^Flossing is to hygiene as studying is to good grades: Pretty much none of us do it enough but we still scrape by somehow.

 

That being said, I really need to get in the habit of flossing regularly.

The only difference between Hitler and the man next door who comes home and beats his kids every day is circumstance. The intent is the same-- to harm others.

[hide=Tifers say the darndest things]

I told her there was a secret method to doing it - and there is - but my once nimble and agile fingers were unable to perform because I was under the influence.

I would laugh, not hate. I'm a male. :(

Since when was Ireland an island...? :wall:

I actually have a hobby of licking public toilet seats.

[/hide]
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Long term goal?

Try to hold a conversation with someone I don't know well for more than six lines of dialogue. Seriously. Conversation is obsolete, I suck at holding one.

 

Any tips on how to carry on (minus the subtraction of short answer things that I tend to do a lot)?

 

I'm an EXTREMLY introverted person, but most people don't realize that about me because I can talk to anyone when it's necessary.

The trick is to ask questions without seeming like you're prying and express an interest in what they say. Most people love to talk about themselves, so if you can keep from sounding creepy, it flows really easily.

 

If you're not actually interested in what they do, pretend you are and boost their ego. "'Oh, that knitted cat sweater is spectacular. Where did you get it?' 'Oh, you knitted it yourself? That's awesome. You did a great job on it. How long have you been knitting?'" and so on.

 

A good way to practice is to talk to the people who are doing work for you. Cashiers, waiters, or whatever. If they're not busy, you can have a short conversation with them and learn how to make it natural. As you get better, it's easier to talk to other people around you because you feel more confidant doing it.

 

In addition, you could join toastmasters. It's not a conversational group, but it will help.

~M

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I have never flossed in my life and I don't intend to start any time soon.

 

I like how clean my mouth feels after flossing and brushing, you should try it

I don't quite like the taste of my own blood. :wink:

 

Ok. I've decided to help out TIF here. I do a lot of lurking and not enough posting (and when I post I don't contribute much...honestly I don't know how the hell I got so many total posts) so I'm gonna change that. I've been here since Christmas 2005, since middle school. Now I'm 20 year old college student/part time employee. You guys have been like my second group of friends, complete with the older, experience ones and the younger, friendlier ones. I don't know how you guys think of me, but I've always kinda assumed "That guy who posts occasionally but I don't know much of him".

 

So I'm gonna give more life to Off-topic than I currently do, because this is a community truly worth being a part of.,,,but one that I never fully expressed myself in.

  • Like 1

"The cry of the poor is not always just, but if you never hear it you'll never know what justice is."

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