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Should there be a RuneScape live-action movie?


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#21
Saru Inc
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Saru Inc

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Here's the issue with the movie:

****

The movie starts out with a big puff of smoke surrounding the camera, quickly dissipating until it is clear that there is person on the screen. A player, named XX DEATHKILLER XX, who is a non-famous (non twitch streaming) Monster hunter, who is a HCIM account. Well, though some horrid twist of fate, he is assigned to kill The Vorago by Frank, while Death is away on the Quest - even though he did not have group assignments checked.

 

Woe is he - for when Death returns, he states he is unable to offer a refund, and all tasks given by the previous task-giver (Frank) are still valid, and final. So XX DEATHKILLER XX, a lonely noob who's never had more than 400k at a time - becomes determined to fight The Vorago - or die trying. The story starts out in Draynor Village: just outside Death's portal, (a place XX DEATHKILLER XX may very well soon call home)  XX DEATHKILLER XX mopes his way through that lonely village, cursing the Gods for giving him this luck. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots something. What's that he sees in a far away field? Hmm. It's gone now - but for a moment there was a twinkle. Concerned, he mumurs to himself  "dafuq was dat? topkek" and turns toward it to investigate. Excitedly he runs 62% of the way to the spot before he abruptly stops running, and starts walking while staring very intently at the plot of land. Every few steps he begins to run again, only to stop and resume walking.

 

He reaches the piece of land to see a chunk of metal sticking out of the ground. Excitedly, he bends down and with his bare hands, right-clicks and digs the piece of metal out. He then investigates it, to find it is an Armadyl Godsword! But where did this sword come from? Perhaps it was thrown from the Armadyl Vs. Bandos battle - or even more likely - perhaps there is another dungeon underground that contains massive [bleep]ing birds of flight! Because those things exist!

As ideas race through his head of the origin of such a blade, and how he could use it to kill The Vorago, he places the sword on the ground, so that he may offer a prayer to his god Phastaeckspee, for this glorious discovery. He begins the sacred prayer

"ty god for these dank memes

bc m8 this f8 is 2 gr8, i cantw8

to kill vorago and--"

 

As he begins the final line of his prayer a great freezing wind blows through the land, freezing him solid, at least momentarily. He tries to move but alas this cursed paralysis of the Earth has decided he shant move.

But the longer he stays frozen, the more the world starts to fade away. Frantically he tries to grab the godsword but it is in vain. The world is getting darker and he fears it is the end. All noises of animals and pvm'ing and dicing suddenly come to a halt. The final thing his now wasted eyes make out are great large runes with writing in the sky, because he can read. And they state:

KahnEcktshun Lahst

Pleiese Waiyt - Atteimpting tou Rei-Eistahbleisch

 

His feeble mind weakened, he loses all hope to ever even attempt to understand what those mysterious runes mean - or why he - of all players, should have this happen.

The camera pans over the greyscale landscape, and though the empty silence of the land, a whisper can be heard:

"ffs"

 

And everything goes dark - our player gone, without a trace.

****

 

The movie then cuts to the credits, while the moviegoers cut to the Gun shop,  gear up, and storm Jagex Towers.

 

 

 

 

I really don't see how they could make an authentic RS movie without the following:

*Disconnecting in the middle of the most dramatic scenes

*The script is written where at least one word in each paragraph rhymes with m8

*The main character uses Warbands for whatever challenge he may face - even The Vorago

*Everyone is wearing cat costumes

*The main character champions challenge after challenge only to loot the great monsters chest and find bundles upon bundles of Flax notes - redeemable at the nearest bank.

 

I mean, even if XX DEATHKILLER XX did succeed, and by proxy the movie as well succeeded, Jagex's Public Image would then plummet even further when they're accused of creating unrealistic standards of beauty for Runescape players by giving the role to like Robert Downey Jr.

I can see it now: people gathering in Parking Lot space 66 outside of Jagex HQ "hey m8s, why b8, when all sizes r gr8!" 


I have all the 99s, and have been playing since 2001. Comped 4/30/15 

My Araxxi Kills: 459::Araxxi Drops(KC):

Araxxi Hilts: 4x Eye (14/126/149/459), Web - (100) Fang (193)

Araxxi Legs Completed: 5 ---Top (69/206/234/292/361), Middle (163/176/278/343/395), Bottom (135/256/350/359/397)
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If you play Xbox One - Add me! GT: Urtehnoes - Currently on a Destiny binge 

 


#22
Blaze The Movie Fan
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Blaze The Movie Fan

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So anyway does anyone else think an animated series would work better than a live-action movie?



#23
Low Levelled
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Low Levelled

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So anyway does anyone else think an animated series would work better than a live-action movie?

Glorp glorp

#24
Ammako
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Excitedly he runs 62% of the way to the spot before he abruptly stops running, and starts walking while staring very intently at the plot of land. Every few steps he begins to run again, only to stop and resume walking.


I died




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