Jump to content

Welcome to Rune Tips, the first ever RuneScape help site. We aim to offer skill guides, quest guides, maps, calculators, informative databases, tips, and much more to help you get the most from the Massive Online Adventure Game, RuneScape, by Jagex Ltd © 2009.

Report Ad

Welcome to Forum.Tip.It
Register now to gain access to all of our features. Once registered and logged in, you will be able to create topics, post replies to existing threads, give reputation to your fellow members, get your own private messenger, post status updates, manage your profile and so much more. If you already have an account, login here - otherwise create an account for free today!
Photo

Sexual orientation and identification


  • Please log in to reply
109 replies to this topic

#81
Alg
[ Display Name History ]

Alg

    Troll General

  • Editorial Panel
  • 10,880 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California.
  • Joined:5 August 2006
It's not his point as much as the utterly clueless way he's going about it :v

I'm not going to deny that people have control over their lives, but likening it to life with a couple of added difficulties is disgustingly ignorant to the point of being insulting. If you're going to pull that, learn the details so you'll know exactly what hardships there are and maybe offer real solutions.

Honestly, I wish I knew how awful that sort of thing was ten years ago. God knows I was guilty of it back then.

#82
Ring_World
[ Display Name History ]

Ring_World

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 5,503 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Joined:13 October 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired

Also since I brought her up, my MTF step sister was born in Tahiti and that culture is very accepting of transgenders so even though she lived in a liberal state and has a supportive family she decided to go back there after she turned 18 because she felt it would be the way to express her gender with the least cultural friction.



#83
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

 

 

 

But back to my original point: do you have specific, long-term goals? Yes or no? If yes, then what are they and what's holding you back? If no, then there's your problem :P


...What do my plans have to do with the topic at hand? I'm actually pretty alright with my situation at the moment, I don't see why I should ignore the fact that a lot of people I associate with are definitely not in as good a position. Deflecting the argument on to me isn't going to make the problem go away, and if you don't want to bother to understand it, that's on you. If happiness is that sort of head-in-the-sand blissful ignorance, I'll keep doing my own thing :P

 

 
My core argument is basically that just about everybody (especially everybody ITT) has the ability to become happy if they want to. Yes, there are obstacles along the way, but that's just part of the process. I treat these problems the same way as I treat things like natural or economic disasters-- yes, they suck. But they're an inevitable part of my life. Time spent feeling negative about these things is time that could've been spent being productive and structuring my life in order to minimize the impact that these things have on my life.
 
If you're happy, then the woes of the world instantly become irrelevant to you. They're still relevant to other people though, but only until the other people choose to live life the way I do-- which means taking full responsibility for their lives and their happiness. At which point, they're also happy and their problems also become irrelevant.
 
You should ignore the fact that other people are in a bad position because clearly that's something that makes you unhappy and it's something that's beyond your control. You're responsible for your problems only, not theirs. If they want to be happy, they're capable of doing that without you.

 

But you don't have to just ignore problems that occur to everyone! Here's a secret: as a society, we can fix them! We can approve same sex marriage! We can allow women to vote! We can free the slaves! We can do all these things that make things fairer and remove bullshit societal barriers that exist only as a result of prejudice! But we can't do that by not talking about them! We can't do that by saying "you don't exist" or "you don't matter". And if you're going to say "You don't exist" or "You don't matter", you are only going to help keep things unfair, and prolong that barrier to equality.

Finding personal happiness and talking about societal problems aren't mutually exclusive and quite frankly if your personal happiness requires you to not talk about any problems ever, then it's not a personal happiness that I could ever consider good.

 

 

I'm not sure if you just don't understand what I'm saying, or if you do understand but you're disagreeing.

 

I'll use RuneScape as an example. When Evolution of Combat came out, that pretty much killed my desire to play RS. Now, given that the EOC made me unhappy, and I want to be happy, I had a few options:

1. Get on the forums and complain about the update, and how unfair it is to veterans who enjoyed the previous form of combat; I remain unhappy until Jagex fixes it. 

2. Try to keep playing and learn to adapt to EOC; I remain unhappy until I adapt.

3. Quit playing RS and go find a new way to spend my free time; I remain unhappy until I find a new hobby.

 

The vast majority of the world, when faced with a similar problem, will choose option #1. The problem with option #1 is you relinquish all control over your own happiness and give it to someone else-- whether it be Jagex, the government, society as a whole, etc. Additionally, there's a very good chance that Jagex (or the government, or society) won't change for a very, very long time... they might not even change ever! And that means you'll never be happy! Doesn't that sound awful?

 

With options #2 and #3 you're in full control over your own happiness. The only downside is, you have to acknowledge that the world is unfair and doesn't give a shit about your happiness. If you want to be happy, you're on your own to pursue it. But the good news is, not only will you be happy again relatively quickly-- once you satisfy your needs which RS once satisfied in an alternative way-- but you'll also remain consistently happy again until the next time you're forced to make a similar decision.

 

So I chose #3 and I'm glad I did. Whenever I get on OSRS there's still friends of mine complaining about how far downhill RS has gone and how poorly they feel they're being treated... yet they refuse to quit playing. They "shouldn't have to!" Well tough shit, they do have to. At least, if they want to be happy that is.

 

 

So back to sexual orientation. If you're being discriminated against, sure you can join a movement and try to initiate political change... but I wouldn't recommend doing that if doing so makes you consistently unhappy. And based on my observations, I've never heard of any of my friends going "You know what muggi? Ever since I've started following politics and examining every instance of injustice in the world, I've become such a happier and more optimistic person!" That's why I turn a blind eye to issues like these-- if they don't affect me, I don't want to know about it. If it does affect me, I don't want to change the issue, I want to change myself. Like marriage, for example. If I pretend for a moment that I believe I can make marriage work, but then I look and see how [bleep]ed I'd be in the event of a divorce, then suddenly I'm in quite the predicament. I can either start raising awareness of how [bleep]ed up divorce and alimony laws are, and try to start a global campaign to get men and women to start reevaluating marriage, or I can just choose to not get married in the first place. One option relinquishes control of my happiness; one option keeps me in control.

 

Is it fair that loyal RS players got [bleep]ed by EOC? Is it fair that people get [bleep]ed by divorce? Is it fair that people who don't have normal sexualities are discriminated against? No. But is it their fault that they're consequently unhappy? Yes. Can they become happy if they truly wanted to? Yes.

 

And that is why I remain happy in an unfair world.


77yLQy8.png


#84
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

It's not his point as much as the utterly clueless way he's going about it :v

I'm not going to deny that people have control over their lives, but likening it to life with a couple of added difficulties is disgustingly ignorant to the point of being insulting. If you're going to pull that, learn the details so you'll know exactly what hardships there are and maybe offer real solutions.

Honestly, I wish I knew how awful that sort of thing was ten years ago. God knows I was guilty of it back then.

 

Ok we're back to this again. Tell me what your long-term goals are and we'll go from there. If you don't have any long-term goals tell me why you don't.


77yLQy8.png


#85
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

Also: http://www.blackdrag...phere-activism/
 
My favorite parts:
 
 

Since society has already failed/collapsed, instead of spending your energies trying to resuscitate a corpse, you should focus on creating a bubble of happiness and freedom around you. This bubble does not need to be very big. It only needs to encompass you and at most perhaps 2-3 other people in your life, if you want (your children if any, and perhaps a woman or two).
All that time, effort, anger, emotion, and possibly money you’re spending trying to fix the world, trying to fight back against left-wingers or right-wingers or feminists or beta males or whoever, could instead be spent…

  • Learning new skills to better your life.
  • Getting better and meeting and sleeping with attractive women.
  • Figuring out how to move out of the country you currently live in that you dislike.
  • Lifting weights and/or improving your diet to improve your health, appearance, and confidence.
  • Making more money. Or if you already make decent money, making that same money in less work hours per week.
  • Trying out new kinds of relationships with women that may make you happier, and/or improving your current relationship skills.
  • If you have kids, learning how to be a better father. If you don’t have kids, securing your life logistics so that you will be a good father someday.
Every time you get furious at what some blogger or feminist is doing, you take time away from the above items. Getting pissed off about it has a less than 1% chance of actually doing any real difference in society, but any of these above items have at least a 70%-90% of helping you (and those closest to you).

 


Objection 2: “Not help society? Wow, what an [wagon]. You’re being really selfish Blackdragon. A good man helps society.”

If that’s really your attitude, you’re forgetting a key point: Society did this to itself.

May I remind you that Americans not only voted for George W. Bush, but re-elected him even after they knew he was a corrupt, brainless warmonger? May I remind you that Americans not only voted for Barack Obama, but re-elected him (though barely) even after they knew he was bombing civilians and spying on your email and phone communication?

And shit, those are just the Americans. Don’t even get me started on the Europeans, who (with the exception of UKIP) keep electing the same hyper-politically-correct, Goldman Sachs-owned politicians who are lining their own pockets while running that once proud group of nations into the ground.

I have said before that if men wanted to repeal all alimony laws, they could do it right now. Seriously. Right now. All they need to do is stop getting married. No, I don’t mean holding off on marriage in their 20s and then surrendering to it in their 30s, which is what they’re doing now. I mean STOP getting married EVER, PERIOD.

If this actually happened, within a very short period of time women would repeal alimony so they could get married again. This is exactly what would happen. Women like to get married. Take it away, and they’ll move heaven and earth to get it back.

Do you see 80% of men refusing to ever get married? 50%? How about 25%? Remember, even within the manosphere and PUA, where men are extremely educated about this, you still have hordes of guys planning on getting married someday. (I’m talking about traditional monogamous marriage with no prenup; getting an OLTR marriage is probably fine, but that’s not what these guys have in mind.)

Then guess what? Alimony stays. [bleep] about it all you want. It stays. Society is not willing to do what it takes to fix this problem. Because deep down, society wants these problems.

I could go on with examples, but you get the point.

Listen. Society had its chance. Society had many chances. Society [bleep]in’ blew it. Society could fix about 70% of its problems within 6-12 months if it really wanted to. But it doesn’t want to, or else it would have done it. No, society is too focused on holding onto the past (right wingers), or changing things for the worse (left wingers), or watching TV (everyone else).

I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever for not worrying about society, and you shouldn’t either. Every day, every year, you see new ways in which society screws itself, often on purpose. Why should you feel at all bad about not helping them? They don’t want your “help”. Frankly, they’re more likely to hate you for your “help”.


77yLQy8.png


#86
champion
[ Display Name History ]

champion

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 6,176 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Joined:10 August 2007
  • RuneScape Status:None
AAAAaaaaHhHhHHhHhhh

 


#87
Saradomin_Mage
[ Display Name History ]

Saradomin_Mage

    The Two and Only

  • Members
  • 7,273 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Varrock Museum
  • Joined:13 November 2004
  • RuneScape Status:P2P

I just think it's a little... gross to have someone else say it who doesn't have those experiences. For me looking at my actions, it's okay to say "I can't use my problems as an excuse not to improve." But for someone else to say it about you isn't the same. And this is mostly true when the other person doesn't have the same experiences, and can't really offer any advice other than "get over it".

I'm not going to deny that people have control over their lives, but likening it to life with a couple of added difficulties is disgustingly ignorant to the point of being insulting. If you're going to pull that, learn the details so you'll know exactly what hardships there are and maybe offer real solutions.

It looks like you're choosing to shut out and ignore advice simply because the person hasn't shared the exact same experience as you. What makes you think that the discrimination you face is so vastly different from any other type, such as racial, economic, religious etc? What if people have been through similar experiences as are offering advice based on similar circumstances? Way to assume everyone who's not you is speaking from a position of "privilege".

Rant. Constantly being picked on because I have this [bleep]ing British accent in a country that is 75% Chinese, being taunted for being a Chinese guy who can't speak Chinese, not being able to land jobs because I can't speak Chinese. Guess what? I chose to just build a bridge and get over it, being personally satisfied with who I am rather than letting other people dictate my happiness. My Chinese friend from Malaysia, who's been discriminated against by a pro-Malay system since he was born, chose to simply pack up and move over to Singapore instead of putting up with the bullshit in that country.

6Ij0n.jpg

In real life MMO you don't get 99 smithing by making endless bronze daggers.


#88
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

I'm not even talking about my [bleep]ing depression, thanks. I know where my depression stems from, it's not my orientation, and I've been working on it. That post only used me as an example in a couple of places.

The thing I'm annoyed about is the fact that you're pretending the experiences of an entire group of people don't matter. Or that they aren't real. Which is exactly what society at large does to the ace community. Which is why we find value in the community - because it's somewhere that is accepting of those problems, that doesn't doubt they exist out of hand.

 

The group is just a collection of individuals similar to yourself. And if an individual such as yourself is capable of becoming happy, then so is each individual within your group. Therefore, if you want the group to be happy, then you focus on each individual within the group... which is sort of what's going on right now with you and Alg. :P

 

Like BD said in that post I quoted, if every member of your group was here arguing, one at a time, and taking the advice given to them, one at a time, then, like magic, suddenly your group would be happy. The only problem is some people don't actually want to be happy. Or they do want to be happy, but it's not their #1 priority so when forced to choose between happiness and something else that's important to them, they'll sacrifice happiness and then wonder why they aren't happy. So as a result, the group will continue to exist; not necessarily because of the external problem that the group is united against; but because the group is composed of individuals who refuse to prioritize happiness and change.


77yLQy8.png


#89
Alg
[ Display Name History ]

Alg

    Troll General

  • Editorial Panel
  • 10,880 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California.
  • Joined:5 August 2006

Ok we're back to this again. Tell me what your long-term goals are and we'll go from there. If you don't have any long-term goals tell me why you don't.

Okay, long-term goal: getting an answer that isn't this hyperevasive bullshit :3

Why does it keep going back to my long-term goals? My long-term goals are my own, they're not relevant to the topic at hand. This isn't me caring about a topic because I feel I shouldn't have to change, this is me caring about a topic because it directly affects people I care about (also I actually enjoy learning about it, and it's generally more acceptable to nerd out about gender than, say, the language of flowers or color theory). I'm not trying to incite change on some global level, and my plans don't revolve around those changes happening. I can, however, use it to teach people on an individual level, when they're already at least partially open to the idea because it affects people they care deeply about. In doing so, I've found people I care about.

And honestly the biggest obstacle I've had to face is that people are convinced that they already know everything about LGBTQ+ issues and, as such, feel obligated to tell those individuals who they are and what they should be doing, especially if what they're doing does not fit their preconceptions... Which is exactly what's happening here. Clinging to outdated preconceptions, and ignoring anything that might shake them, is part of why I don't trust the individual. (appropriately enough, that sort of mindset is why people tend to be blindsighted when they find out I'm more into women than men, and, being a lifelong troll, I take endless joy in baiting them)

#90
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

 

Ok we're back to this again. Tell me what your long-term goals are and we'll go from there. If you don't have any long-term goals tell me why you don't.

Okay, long-term goal: getting an answer that isn't this hyperevasive bullshit :3

Why does it keep going back to my long-term goals? My long-term goals are my own, they're not relevant to the topic at hand. This isn't me caring about a topic because I feel I shouldn't have to change, this is me caring about a topic because it directly affects people I care about (also I actually enjoy learning about it, and it's generally more acceptable to nerd out about gender than, say, the language of flowers or color theory). I'm not trying to incite change on some global level, and my plans don't revolve around those changes happening. I can, however, use it to teach people on an individual level, when they're already at least partially open to the idea because it affects people they care deeply about. In doing so, I've found people I care about.

And honestly the biggest obstacle I've had to face is that people are convinced that they already know everything about LGBTQ+ issues and, as such, feel obligated to tell those individuals who they are and what they should be doing, especially if what they're doing does not fit their preconceptions... Which is exactly what's happening here. Clinging to outdated preconceptions, and ignoring anything that might shake them, is part of why I don't trust the individual. (appropriately enough, that sort of mindset is why people tend to be blindsighted when they find out I'm more into women than men, and, being a lifelong troll, I take endless joy in baiting them)

 

I'll give you an example of a financial goal that I have (and that I think everybody should have). My financial goal is:

 

Financial Goal

 

Now, career/finance is just one part of your life. There's also relationships/dating and health/fitness. But I can't really imagine meeting a person who's accomplished the same financial goal as me being unsatisfied or unfulfilled with the financial part of their life. They wouldn't be a slave to a corporate office, have a boss they hate, lack free time to spend doing things they enjoy with people they love, and they'd have plenty of money to indulge with. Similarly, they'll be a lot better at decision-making if they're making all of their decisions based on a specific long-term goal that they have mapped out, rather than what feels best to them at that current moment in time.

 

Additionally, having a long-term goal really helps to alleviate the grind of a job that you might currently hate. When I started working in sales, I voluntarily worked 70-80 hours/week while my coworkers were working 40 hours. I did it because it was 100% commission so the more I worked, the more I got paid, and also the quicker I'd be done with that part of my goal at that shitty sales job lol. You can keep reminding yourself that it's only temporary and that it will pay off in the long run. My friends who work 9-5 corporate cubicle jobs hate their careers because they have no goals; if I ask them what their plans are-- if they want to move up the ladder, or work at their companies for x years before switching to a new industry or company, they have no clue. So they just go to work every day without any real motive other than to pay the bills. There's no real reason for them to be working at a shitty job like that. But that's what they're going to be doing for the next 30+ years because they don't know any better or have any specific goals to make them happier along the way.

 

But back to my point, I don't really see how one's sexual orientation could stop them from achieving a goal like that and consequently mastering that aspect of their lives and becoming happy and fulfilled with their career and finances.


77yLQy8.png


#91
Ammako
[ Display Name History ]

Ammako

    Ice Giant Melter

  • Members
  • 3,541 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Joined:21 May 2012

Something that's less commonly known about are those who label themselves as "demisexual". In a nutshell, sexual feelings occur with those only with whom you have deeply invested emotional feelings in. You would think that is a common occurrence among people, but that's not true. If it was, then infidelity would be all but non-existent.


That's me, yo!

#92
obfuscator
[ Display Name History ]

obfuscator

    Tanned Caveman

  • Members
  • 20,231 posts
  • Gender:Not Telling
  • Joined:6 March 2008
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
I am supersexual

polvCwJ.gif
"It's not a rest for me, it's a rest for the weights." - Dom Mazzetti


#93
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

I am supersexual

 

i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is


77yLQy8.png


#94
Low Levelled
[ Display Name History ]

Low Levelled

    Hobgoblin Killer

  • Members
  • 1,559 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United States
  • Joined:15 October 2011
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
Badass, I got the first post

#95
Miss Lioness
[ Display Name History ]

Miss Lioness

    the Pyromaniac

  • Senior Moderator
  • 2,491 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:The Netherlands
  • Joined:12 December 2011
  • RuneScape Status:P2P
  • RSN:Miss Lioness
  • Clan:Efficiency Experts

Finally done with all the moving and checking of posts. I hope you like the title, if not please let me know if you think of a better one.


Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?~ Marianne Williamson


For account help/issues, please follow this link:

Account Help[left]. If you need further assistance, do not hesitate to PM me or post here.


#96
muggiwhplar
[ Display Name History ]

muggiwhplar

    Dragon Slayer

  • Members
  • 8,009 posts

Badass, I got the first post

 

i like how if anyone reads this thread in the distant future they'll be like "well that's an odd first post to start a discussion on sexual orientation and identification"


77yLQy8.png


#97
Tesset
[ Display Name History ]

Tesset

    Demon Vanquisher

  • Members
  • 2,063 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Joined:4 November 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired

Finally done with all the moving and checking of posts. I hope you like the title, if not please let me know if you think of a better one.

Thank you, this was needed, lol.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off


#98
Alg
[ Display Name History ]

Alg

    Troll General

  • Editorial Panel
  • 10,880 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:California.
  • Joined:5 August 2006

I am supersexual


i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is
That would be pansexual, solely because it allows you to give zero [bleep]s about giving [bleep]s.

The ace/aro combination is a very close second since you can give zero [bleep]s about the whole [bleep]ing thing, and focus on more important things.

#99
Tesset
[ Display Name History ]

Tesset

    Demon Vanquisher

  • Members
  • 2,063 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Joined:4 November 2007
  • RuneScape Status:Retired

I am supersexual


i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is
That would be pansexual, solely because it allows you to give zero [bleep]s about giving [bleep]s.

The ace/aro combination is a very close second since you can give zero [bleep]s about the whole [bleep]ing thing, and focus on more important things.
You're objectively wrong ace aro is definitively better than pan in every way so boom.

My skin is finally getting soft
I'll scrub until the damn thing comes off


#100
Low Levelled
[ Display Name History ]

Low Levelled

    Hobgoblin Killer

  • Members
  • 1,559 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:United States
  • Joined:15 October 2011
  • RuneScape Status:Retired
Gawd stop making me Google all these things about who you want and don't want to [bleep]




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users