Sexual orientation and identification

[muggiwhplar]

I'm not even talking about my [bleep]ing depression, thanks. I know where my depression stems from, it's not my orientation, and I've been working on it. That post only used me as an example in a couple of places.

 

The thing I'm annoyed about is the fact that you're pretending the experiences of an entire group of people don't matter. Or that they aren't real. Which is exactly what society at large does to the ace community. Which is why we find value in the community - because it's somewhere that is accepting of those problems, that doesn't doubt they exist out of hand.

 

The group is just a collection of individuals similar to yourself. And if an individual such as yourself is capable of becoming happy, then so is each individual within your group. Therefore, if you want the group to be happy, then you focus on each individual within the group... which is sort of what's going on right now with you and Alg. :P

 

Like BD said in that post I quoted, if every member of your group was here arguing, one at a time, and taking the advice given to them, one at a time, then, like magic, suddenly your group would be happy. The only problem is some people don't actually want to be happy. Or they do want to be happy, but it's not their #1 priority so when forced to choose between happiness and something else that's important to them, they'll sacrifice happiness and then wonder why they aren't happy. So as a result, the group will continue to exist; not necessarily because of the external problem that the group is united against; but because the group is composed of individuals who refuse to prioritize happiness and change.

[Alg]

Ok we're back to this again. Tell me what your long-term goals are and we'll go from there. If you don't have any long-term goals tell me why you don't.

Okay, long-term goal: getting an answer that isn't this hyperevasive bullshit :3

 

Why does it keep going back to my long-term goals? My long-term goals are my own, they're not relevant to the topic at hand. This isn't me caring about a topic because I feel I shouldn't have to change, this is me caring about a topic because it directly affects people I care about (also I actually enjoy learning about it, and it's generally more acceptable to nerd out about gender than, say, the language of flowers or color theory). I'm not trying to incite change on some global level, and my plans don't revolve around those changes happening. I can, however, use it to teach people on an individual level, when they're already at least partially open to the idea because it affects people they care deeply about. In doing so, I've found people I care about.

 

And honestly the biggest obstacle I've had to face is that people are convinced that they already know everything about LGBTQ+ issues and, as such, feel obligated to tell those individuals who they are and what they should be doing, especially if what they're doing does not fit their preconceptions... Which is exactly what's happening here. Clinging to outdated preconceptions, and ignoring anything that might shake them, is part of why I don't trust the individual. (appropriately enough, that sort of mindset is why people tend to be blindsighted when they find out I'm more into women than men, and, being a lifelong troll, I take endless joy in baiting them)

[muggiwhplar]

 

Ok we're back to this again. Tell me what your long-term goals are and we'll go from there. If you don't have any long-term goals tell me why you don't.

Okay, long-term goal: getting an answer that isn't this hyperevasive bullshit :3

 

Why does it keep going back to my long-term goals? My long-term goals are my own, they're not relevant to the topic at hand. This isn't me caring about a topic because I feel I shouldn't have to change, this is me caring about a topic because it directly affects people I care about (also I actually enjoy learning about it, and it's generally more acceptable to nerd out about gender than, say, the language of flowers or color theory). I'm not trying to incite change on some global level, and my plans don't revolve around those changes happening. I can, however, use it to teach people on an individual level, when they're already at least partially open to the idea because it affects people they care deeply about. In doing so, I've found people I care about.

 

And honestly the biggest obstacle I've had to face is that people are convinced that they already know everything about LGBTQ+ issues and, as such, feel obligated to tell those individuals who they are and what they should be doing, especially if what they're doing does not fit their preconceptions... Which is exactly what's happening here. Clinging to outdated preconceptions, and ignoring anything that might shake them, is part of why I don't trust the individual. (appropriately enough, that sort of mindset is why people tend to be blindsighted when they find out I'm more into women than men, and, being a lifelong troll, I take endless joy in baiting them)

 

I'll give you an example of a financial goal that I have (and that I think everybody should have). My financial goal is:

 

[hide=Financial Goal]

1. Earn over $75k/yr

That's basically where the relationship between money and happiness caps out, since that amount's enough to cover all of one's basic needs pretty much.

 

2. Work less than 30 hours per week.

I have family members that earn around 300k/yr... but they've been working 80 hours/week for the past decade and they're miserable. They show no signs of cutting down their hours because they have no clear financial goals; when I ask them how many hours they wish they'd be working, they say 40. When I ask them how much income they'd be willing to sacrifice in order to work 40 hours a week, they're not sure. When I ask them how long they could last earning significantly less money in order to cut down hours, they don't know. When I ask them what their ultimate long-term financial goal is, they don't know. And as a result, they keep making insane financial decisions both in and out of work because they have no goal to guide their decisions.

 

3. Have no boss.

I hate being forced to follow orders just because someone is my superior; especially if I think they're an idiot. I remember my first sales boss trying to give advice to one of our salesmen when they were setting their daily sales goal: "Ok so Erica's aiming for 2 sales today. That's bad because she could get either 0, 1, or 2 sales. That means there's a 33% chance of her getting 0 sales today! She should set her goal to 5 sales instead, that way there's only a 20% chance of her getting 0 sales today!" I really wanted to say, "Yeah! Today I'm going to get a billion sales because that way there'll be a 0.0001% chance that I get 0 sales and a 50% chance that I get 500,000,000 sales today!" But I wanted to keep my job so I just bit my tongue :P

 

4. Have no employees.

Society loves to tell me how important being a "leader" is. I hate being a leader. It's basically just glorified babysitting, getting paid to tolerate drama. Yuck. Part of the reason I quit my first sales job was because the only way to earn more money was to become a manager and climb the ladder. I told my boss I wasn't interested in becoming a manager and since there was nothing left for me to do there, I respectfully quit my job. Meanwhile some of my old coworkers moved up the ladder and now they're stuck managing, which they later came to realize that they don't enjoy. All because they didn't plan ahead like I did.

 

5. Have the ability to re-accomplish #1-4 within 6 months in the event of a financial/economic catastrophe.

I have friends whose finances depend on the company they work for. If for some reason they get laid off or their company goes out of business, they're screwed. They'll be able to find a new job, but it won't pay as well or have all the benefits they accrued via loyalty from their old company. This is why I chose a career in sales; sales is always in demand and it generalizes into other areas of life as well (such as dating). Same goes for marketing if sales isn't your thing.

[/hide]

 

Now, career/finance is just one part of your life. There's also relationships/dating and health/fitness. But I can't really imagine meeting a person who's accomplished the same financial goal as me being unsatisfied or unfulfilled with the financial part of their life. They wouldn't be a slave to a corporate office, have a boss they hate, lack free time to spend doing things they enjoy with people they love, and they'd have plenty of money to indulge with. Similarly, they'll be a lot better at decision-making if they're making all of their decisions based on a specific long-term goal that they have mapped out, rather than what feels best to them at that current moment in time.

 

Additionally, having a long-term goal really helps to alleviate the grind of a job that you might currently hate. When I started working in sales, I voluntarily worked 70-80 hours/week while my coworkers were working 40 hours. I did it because it was 100% commission so the more I worked, the more I got paid, and also the quicker I'd be done with that part of my goal at that shitty sales job lol. You can keep reminding yourself that it's only temporary and that it will pay off in the long run. My friends who work 9-5 corporate cubicle jobs hate their careers because they have no goals; if I ask them what their plans are-- if they want to move up the ladder, or work at their companies for x years before switching to a new industry or company, they have no clue. So they just go to work every day without any real motive other than to pay the bills. There's no real reason for them to be working at a shitty job like that. But that's what they're going to be doing for the next 30+ years because they don't know any better or have any specific goals to make them happier along the way.

 

But back to my point, I don't really see how one's sexual orientation could stop them from achieving a goal like that and consequently mastering that aspect of their lives and becoming happy and fulfilled with their career and finances.

[Ammako]

Something that's less commonly known about are those who label themselves as "demisexual". In a nutshell, sexual feelings occur with those only with whom you have deeply invested emotional feelings in. You would think that is a common occurrence among people, but that's not true. If it was, then infidelity would be all but non-existent.

That's me, yo!

[obfuscator]

I am supersexual

[muggiwhplar]

I am supersexual

 

i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is

[Low Levelled]

Badass, I got the first post

[Miss Lioness]

Finally done with all the moving and checking of posts. I hope you like the title, if not please let me know if you think of a better one.

[muggiwhplar]

Badass, I got the first post

 

i like how if anyone reads this thread in the distant future they'll be like "well that's an odd first post to start a discussion on sexual orientation and identification"

[Tesset]

Finally done with all the moving and checking of posts. I hope you like the title, if not please let me know if you think of a better one.

Thank you, this was needed, lol.

[Alg]

 

I am supersexual

 

i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is

That would be pansexual, solely because it allows you to give zero [bleep]s about giving [bleep]s.

 

The ace/aro combination is a very close second since you can give zero [bleep]s about the whole [bleep]ing thing, and focus on more important things.

[Tesset]

 

 

I am supersexual

 

i am whichever the objectively best sexual orientation is

That would be pansexual, solely because it allows you to give zero [bleep]s about giving [bleep]s.

 

The ace/aro combination is a very close second since you can give zero [bleep]s about the whole [bleep]ing thing, and focus on more important things.

You're objectively wrong ace aro is definitively better than pan in every way so boom.

[Low Levelled]

Gawd stop making me Google all these things about who you want and don't want to [bleep]

[RpgGamer]

Muggiw, I agree that anyone can control their own decisions about their happiness but I cant shake the feeling like youre hinting that you can choose your sexual orientation. Being discriminated against isn't a choice. Choosing to deal with it is, but sometimes dealing with it will eventually wear on your happiness to which a community of accepting people to fall back on is essential to restoring that happiness. The community isn't supposed to be used as a crutch to perpetuate misery, but to support and boost the happiness of those within the community.

[muggiwhplar]

No I'm not saying you can choose your orientation

[RpgGamer]

Good, that makes me feel better about your individual pursuit of happiness ideal

[Tim]

What in the ever-loving hell am I even reading, going through these 6 pages...

[Goonstalf]

I sexually identify as the Great Pyramid of Giza.

[muggiwhplar]

they told me i could be anything so i sexually identify as pancakes

[Ammako]

I sexually identify as an attack helicopter

[RpgGamer]

In all ways except physical, I am a wolf

[Ammako]

RuneScape should add attack helicopters in the game so people like me feel comfortable.

 

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m !@#$ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

[Saradomin_Mage]

they've already got wolf costumes!!!