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Noobs say the funniest things!


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rofl this one is hilarious some guy put this in the tip it forums it was titled "conspiracy" and was locked

 

 

 

 

 

the truth of a few things in rs that jagex wouldn't let me type on forums because it must be true

 

 

 

1.zezima

 

zezima is obviously a non player character or program created by jagex as a benchmark for other genuine players. i have seen 'zezima' 3 times all the times stood around a bank walking the same few squares and doing the same thing over and over before logging off. and i have more evidence!............there are 28 spaces in the invent right? but not if your zezima! myself and a few others witnessed zezima fletching making shafts for a half hour continuously with no bank trips!

 

 

 

 

 

2. the construction skill

 

jagex are trying to lower prices in rs that is why they relreased the construction skill (confirmed by a jegex staff member on rs forums) so people would spend more money because too much money was coming in from high alcing and stuff and making the prices of everything too high. since the skill was introduced prices have fallen but not much..................and the problem is..rare items such as phats. these are keeping the prices high because they are so rare... the amount of phats and stuff in the game control the price of everything else which brings me to my next point.........

 

 

 

 

 

3. the world 111 masscacre

 

this was put aside as a mere 'glitch' in the game. when in fact it was accounts with altered stats created by jagex and released upon falador in a desperate attempt to pk all the phats they could (and give us something to talk about). one by one by random events or simply just making them disappear they will rid the world of phats.................................they hate them! that is why all holiday items are now untradeable because of the problems phats have created. and as a starnge coincidence one of my friends who also knows and spreads the truth was one of the 1st ones to be killed by the lvl 115 who seemed to be the leader.

 

 

 

 

 

4.the invincible stage

 

as you will have noticed many times.. when you get a monster to low life, especially the high level ones and random events. you suddenly start hitting 0s and they suddenly start hitting you really hard. this is jagex's little thing to kill you so you keep going back to that black drag or other monster, keeping you playing. you will all have noticed this and you know its true!

 

 

 

thats the end for this time! see you again and if u say any of this on the game things will disappear from ur bank and they will be talking about the massacre that was on your world next. u know its true, they have people everywhere.

 

goodbye

 

 

 

You know, the guy who originally posted that has a point... I bet Tip.It even helped Jagex fake the Zezima interview! :shock:

 

 

 

:lol: Funniest thread in a while.

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rofl this one is hilarious some guy put this in the tip it forums it was titled "conspiracy" and was locked

 

 

 

 

 

the truth of a few things in rs that jagex wouldn't let me type on forums because it must be true

 

 

 

1.zezima

 

zezima is obviously a non player character or program created by jagex as a benchmark for other genuine players. i have seen 'zezima' 3 times all the times stood around a bank walking the same few squares and doing the same thing over and over before logging off. and i have more evidence!............there are 28 spaces in the invent right? but not if your zezima! myself and a few others witnessed zezima fletching making shafts for a half hour continuously with no bank trips!

 

 

 

 

 

2. the construction skill

 

jagex are trying to lower prices in rs that is why they relreased the construction skill (confirmed by a jegex staff member on rs forums) so people would spend more money because too much money was coming in from high alcing and stuff and making the prices of everything too high. since the skill was introduced prices have fallen but not much..................and the problem is..rare items such as phats. these are keeping the prices high because they are so rare... the amount of phats and stuff in the game control the price of everything else which brings me to my next point.........

 

 

 

 

 

3. the world 111 masscacre

 

this was put aside as a mere 'glitch' in the game. when in fact it was accounts with altered stats created by jagex and released upon falador in a desperate attempt to pk all the phats they could (and give us something to talk about). one by one by random events or simply just making them disappear they will rid the world of phats.................................they hate them! that is why all holiday items are now untradeable because of the problems phats have created. and as a starnge coincidence one of my friends who also knows and spreads the truth was one of the 1st ones to be killed by the lvl 115 who seemed to be the leader.

 

 

 

 

 

4.the invincible stage

 

as you will have noticed many times.. when you get a monster to low life, especially the high level ones and random events. you suddenly start hitting 0s and they suddenly start hitting you really hard. this is jagex's little thing to kill you so you keep going back to that black drag or other monster, keeping you playing. you will all have noticed this and you know its true!

 

 

 

thats the end for this time! see you again and if u say any of this on the game things will disappear from ur bank and they will be talking about the massacre that was on your world next. u know its true, they have people everywhere.

 

goodbye

 

 

 

That is hilarious! I guess the newb didn't know that shafts are stackable. You can fletch them without bank trips for one solid year if you wanted to.

SWAG

 

Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on.

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I got 2, from when i was wearing full sara.

 

 

 

Noob: Wanna be my bf?

 

me: i dont have any money with me

 

Noob: oh nm then

 

 

 

^ everyone laughed at that

 

*noob follows*

 

Noob: Yo

 

me:hey,

 

Noob: is that snow armor?

 

me: lol no its saradomin

 

Noob: omg ur saradomin!

 

Me: no its armor with saradomin's colors on it lol

 

Noob: oh, ok

 

Walks away, then follows again

 

noob: i want that armer

 

me:ok

 

noob:really? i can have it?

 

me: i never said u can have it, i just said ok. as in, good for u wanting it

 

noob:no i mean give me ur armor or my main po00n u

 

me:whats its name?

 

Noob:uhh its, urmom

 

*logs out* lol

 

 

 

i reported for offensive language.

cypress85.png

i once saw ruby and ash in the wildy, thought it was a santa hat.

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This one just happend to me today.

 

noob: Can i buy your full guthix for 5 gp?

 

Me:lol

 

Noob: i mean 1.4 k

 

Me: no way

 

Noob: K i will just get it from you for free.

 

Me: um ok

 

Me: you excpect me to give you 1.5 mil in armor?

 

Noob Sharing is caring.

 

Right after this a guy appears on my private chat claming he is Jegax Staff

 

Noob 2: Hi i'm Jegax Staff you have just been reported for swearing.

 

Noob 2:All i need is your pass.

 

Me: if you are staff where is your crown? ( Thank-you report sent) Should have got him for pass word scamming too!!

 

Noob 2: not all Staff has to have a crown.

 

Me yes they do you vever read the rules.

 

Noob 2 congratulations you are the first player to make it past me test!!!

 

 

 

Then the guy says his main a lvl 31 lol name is just like mine only his is 25_leafs. This guy is really starting to freak me out. so I just turn private chat off.

 

Is this what Runescape is coming too?

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lol this conversation was pretty funny.. for me :

 

 

 

n00b: *starts following me * wow, how much was that full german ?

 

me: it's called leaderhosins, and i think it's dutch -.-

 

n00b: can i buy it off you *starts trading*

 

me: its un-tradeable

 

n00b: 1k ?

 

me: untradeable

 

n00b: 5k ?

 

me: its untradeable !!

 

n00b: *starts trading like crazy * plz

 

me: its

 

me: un

 

me: trade

 

me:able !!!!

 

n00b: fine noob i was gunna offer 1000mill for it

 

 

 

hehehe that made me laugh after

Imperial_120.png
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my friend reminded me of this....

 

 

 

once after I just bought full rune and had no money for a decent weapon ( when i look back I was acting pathtic) I bought a dagger( addy ) so im walking and this is what happens( im spitting out what my firend told me what happened, he was next to me (real life)

 

 

 

noob: ha u got no weapon!

 

me: i got a dagger

 

noob: so? my stell could own you cuz u got no weapon

 

me: i hav a dagger

 

noob: ill verus in wildy

 

*we're in varrok plalace, we get to level 10 wildy as he is 10 levels lower than me*

 

noob: c'mon!

 

*3fire bolts l8er ( this is funny)

 

noob: spare me!!!

 

noob: I just want ur armor!!!

 

noob: can i hav it plz?

 

noob: give it or ill own you!* lol!already owning you*

 

*run out of runes, i only had 5 shots :anxious: *

 

noob: your outta juice, now ill get ur armor!

 

*1 hit later*

 

noob: curse you

 

*dies*

 

 

 

 

 

something happened to my good member friend also.

 

some guy in wildy uses the feeze ancient magiks spell and kills everyone in his clan but him ( and another guy, that dies after another freeze)

 

heres how it went:

 

 

 

friend: sstop dont kill me!

 

pker: y

 

f: ill give you money

 

pk: ok how much

 

f: trade and see

 

pk: ok

 

*w8s 10 seconds at trade screen while saying hold on, then cancels*

 

f: noob

 

*logs off*

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I thought this was funny, just happened to me with a noob as soon as i log on in edgeville, a few steps away from the wilderness. im lvl 73, hes lvl 10.

 

 

 

noob- i rule!

 

noob-yes

 

me-no you dont

 

noob- yes i do!

 

me- i could own you easily

 

noob-yes i do!

 

noob-no i kill u!

 

me- really?well then how about fighting?

 

me-right now, no food no prayer(i know that was usless to say, hes lvl 10, probably has 1 prayer)

 

noob- no its ok!

 

me- what, too scared?

 

noob-no

 

me- well you sure do seem it

 

me-if you think you can kil me then prove it

 

noob-u 2 weak!

 

noob-u gonna die!

 

me-what, did they change what levels represent?

 

me- and now they represent your rank?

 

noob- my main is 88

 

me-so

 

noob- i can kill u

 

me- go on that one and gloat

 

me- but not on this one

 

noob- no

 

At this point, about three or four minutes have passed, unless im mistaken

 

me- well then im still saying i could kill you right now if i had to

 

noob- dont make me get my main

 

me-go ahead, thats the only time i will be respectful

 

me- to you atleast

 

noob- no its my brothers!

 

me-what is

 

noob- the main

 

me- then its not yours, and your just a noob

 

noob-i can use it

 

noob- anytime i want

 

(Thank-you, you abude has been received)

 

me-thank you for confessing to account sharing, you have just been punk'd

 

noob- what

 

noob-its my brother!

 

me-i just reported you for account sharing

 

me-cause you share your brothers account

 

noob- hes family you noob

 

me-so

 

me-its still account sharing

 

noob-OMFG!

 

noob- i still rule!

 

 

 

at this point i made a copy of the convo, knowing it would be handy to have lying around

There's no such thing as regret. A regret means you are unhappy with the person you are now,

and if you're unhappy with the person you are, you change yourself. That

regret will no longer be a regret, because it will help to form the new,

better you. So really, a regret isn't a regret.

It's experience.

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:shock: why did you get black marks?

 

 

 

 

 

This guy and his

 

group asked 4 all

 

my stuff in my bank

 

and i said no so they reported

 

me 10 times they said so

 

i got 5 black marks on my account...enrico1992 this is

 

the truth if you dont belive me ask my friends so leave me alone!!!!!!! :x

 

 

 

Erm... They would have banned the people who reported you... :-s

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well yesterday i was fishing at edge and this lvl 68 comes up to me and goes let me kill you for full zammy but since i gave everything away i dont have it so i jsut walk out there barehanded with some trout and own him he was surprised :P

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I have a cure for begging.

 

 

 

Beggar: Can you plz give me some money to get some armor to train

 

Beggar: And a wep too?

 

lvl 74: Que?

 

Me: ??

 

lvl 74: No hablo en ingles

 

Other guy: 0.o

 

lvl 74: Yo hablo en espanol =)

 

Beggar: Est-ce que tu pes done moi un peu de dargent pour acheter de larmour

 

Other guy: lmao o.O

 

Other guy: Is that french?

 

Me: lmao

 

lvl 74: Espagnol

 

Beggar: Parce que je besoin de trainer

 

lvl 74: Que

 

Beggar: yes

 

lvl 74: no intendo

 

Other guy: lvl 74, I know you speak english

 

lvl 74: Si?

 

lvl 74: :P

 

lvl 74: Just waiting for them to leave

 

Other guy: Liar o.O

 

Me: You mean the beggar?

 

lvl 74: Yeah =9

 

Me: Lol

 

lvl 74: I'm lagg...

"People are idiots. Some just like to say they reported you to see your reaction, others are just spastic losers that believe everything is reportable, and others got banned and end up reporting everyone because they are mentally disturbed"
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Ok i have a couple of tiny ones.

 

 

 

Noob: I huped my mom last night.

 

Noob: It was fun.

 

I then proceeded to ad him to my ignore list right away.

 

 

 

this next one is more of a story of pure pwnage.

 

 

 

my friend told me that one of his friends was in the wildy and she saw this dude with a green party hat and skulled. she told him that he was daring brave to be i nthe wildy skulled with the party hat. and he told hger he would judt use protect item. the girl then throws a gnome ball to the guy then kills him and gets the party hat because the gnome ball protected over the Party hat. this story litterly made me rofl.

Rubber chicken, you're the one,

who makes Runescape, so much fun!

Would be fun if jagex brought in biological warfare... Or even Tesla coils.

 

I like to eat cake while excruciating!

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Noob1: OMG!!! My brother is going to be so happy for me!

 

Noob2: Why?

 

Noob1: Because, I just got on his account and made him some profit!!!

 

Noob2: How did you do that?!?

 

Noob1: I checked the prices on his crown he was wearing with the general store and it was only 2 gp!

 

Noob1: I sold it to another player for 100K!!!!

 

Noob2: OMG! Your so lucky! I wish I had 100K!

 

Noob1: I know, he's going to be so happy with me and he'll probably give me 50K!

 

Me: LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

^this one made me laugh alot

 

 

 

and i got this one too

 

 

 

Noob:Can I have some sausages?

 

Guy(weilding abby whip):huh?

 

Noob:Can i have some sausages

 

Guy:What sausages?

 

Noob:The ones you're holding

 

Guy:these aren't sausage links(attacks guard to prove it)

 

Noob:wow, you killed something with sausages!plz plz can i have some

 

Guy:it's an abyssal whip

 

Noob:they're sausages

 

Guy:they're not sausages!!

 

Noob:noob im reporting you

 

Guy:for what?

 

Noob: for not sharing food

 

Guy:THEY'RE NOT FREAKING SAUSAGES!!!

 

Noob:omg why didn't you say so * noob

 

^lol i always tought whips look weird

 

 

 

ROFL these made me ROFL literally

 

me: he'll be so happy for you that you'll be that guys zombie head :anxious:

 

And the bunny ears one was good...lol

that got me in stiches
OMG OMG SAILING IS COMING LOLOLOLOL!!!1111 b/c JAGEX GAMES STUDIO , ANAGRAM OF SAITO JUDGE X-GAMES

 

TAKASHI SAITO= RED SOX P1TCHER... RED SOX = BOSTON, BOSTON = PORT CITY!!!! PORT CITY = SAILING

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Ok so i recently lost members on my main and thought meh.

 

 

 

So im now training up my new non combat skiller!! (my new main also)

 

 

 

NOOB:autoer

 

ME:MALFUNCTION CODE 1458216

 

NOOB:its alive everyone bank your stuff!!!!!!!

 

 

 

8-) i actually fell of my chair with laughter

rofl i DID fall outa my chair laffing
OMG OMG SAILING IS COMING LOLOLOLOL!!!1111 b/c JAGEX GAMES STUDIO , ANAGRAM OF SAITO JUDGE X-GAMES

 

TAKASHI SAITO= RED SOX P1TCHER... RED SOX = BOSTON, BOSTON = PORT CITY!!!! PORT CITY = SAILING

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:o Rude!

 

 

 

ewfr7zv.png

 

 

 

Whoa. Normally they just say "Wanna b gf pl0x?" before that. Unless he/she is a pedo. :-k :-X

 

 

 

Lol, a noob asked me that once.

SWAG

 

Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on.

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Noob1: OMG!!! My brother is going to be so happy for me!

 

Noob2: Why?

 

Noob1: Because, I just got on his account and made him some profit!!!

 

Noob2: How did you do that?!?

 

Noob1: I checked the prices on his crown he was wearing with the general store and it was only 2 gp!

 

Noob1: I sold it to another player for 100K!!!!

 

Noob2: OMG! Your so lucky! I wish I had 100K!

 

Noob1: I know, he's going to be so happy with me and he'll probably give me 50K!

 

Me: LMAO!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

That noobs brother is going to murder him! :twisted:

 

More like a -299.9m profit.

SWAG

 

Mayn U wanna be like me but U can't be me cuz U ain't got ma swagga on.

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(this was not a "noob" conversation, just a 82 and 76 getting realy angry at eachother. I butted in and told them how to spell)

 

 

 

Player 1: Player 2 fite me in duel arena

 

Player 2: Yep

 

Me: Learn how to spell, fite is spelt fight

 

Player 1: Ok when this bag done

 

Player 1: Idk you nerd

 

Player 2: You really gonna settle this in a duel man.

 

Me: Shessh. Anyone know spell fight

 

Player 1: Not me

 

Player 1: I come last in everything

 

Player 1: Except sport

 

Me: If you can only settle things in a duel, you well, need...

 

Player 1: Wat you talkling about (spelling again!)

 

Me: Stop calling everyone nerds

 

Player 2: Nerds

 

Player 1: Yer dayking, stop calling everyone nerds

 

Me: Shessh! Public chat=friends.

 

 

 

Just an example of noobs who dont know how to spell. Im guessing player 1 is rejected in rl. I dont know many jocks who play rs.

th_borningfourmsig-1.png

Currently going for 76 fishing

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Noob: nice santa hat

 

Me: thx

 

Noob: how did you get it? i really need to know please

 

Me: i bought it

 

Noob: i know

 

Me: no... you didnt know

 

Noob: yeah i did why wouldnt i

 

Me: because u asked

 

Noob: oh good point

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

____________________

 

Another one:

 

____________________

 

 

 

The noob was around lvl 40, i was around lvl 30 on my pure mage acct.

 

We are in edegville bank.

 

 

 

noob: can i have all ur runes for free?

 

me: hmm. nah

 

noob: lol give them to me or ill kill you in wild

 

me: lol? how are you going to kill me, we're in a bank

 

noob: lol

 

 

 

a minute later...

 

 

 

noob: hey uh wanna have free 100k?

 

me: sure

 

noob: um, lets go to the wildy and trade there

 

me (playing along): okay

 

noob: bring all ur runes

 

me: ok

 

 

 

I bring some offensive spell runes.

 

 

 

We go to level 11 wild.

 

 

 

noob attacks me.

 

 

 

noob: haha

 

me: lol?

 

 

 

I kill him using bind spells, lol, got some bad armor and for some reason the noob brang 10 big bones and rune ess

 

 

 

noob pms me: reported for item scamming!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

another one:

 

______________

 

 

 

 

 

Noob: selling rubber chicken 2k

 

me (lvl 80 at the time): lol rubber chickens arent tradeable

 

noob: lol yea right noob

 

me: lol. they rnt.

 

noob: lol you're just too poor to afford it, noob

 

me: lol

 

 

 

I go into bank, bring out 1 mil and trade with him and show the money to him.

 

 

 

He accepts, and so do I.

 

 

 

On the 2nd confirmation screen he accepts, and of course I decline.

 

 

 

noob: haha you noob you got scammed 1 mil

 

me: lol oh no im gonna cry now

 

noob: haha noob

 

 

 

He goes into the bank, and then comes back out

 

 

 

noob: omg i lost the money

 

noob: *insert many swear words*

 

 

 

I trade with him, show him the money and then laugh at him.

Rsn: Ianderomico~

 

ianderomico.png

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:o Rude!

 

 

 

ewfr7zv.png

 

This dude is like level 55, and it's normally around level 10's that ask me stupid questions. (No offence level 10's out there :D)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I only would of went with him if he had a nice bed :S Naw jokes :P

i am a paint noob
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Standing in varry, in sara

 

 

 

Noob: Your armor

 

Me: what?

 

noob: your armor i want iot

 

Me:*takes it off* what armor?

 

noob: the white armor u just had on

 

me: i didnt have any armor on

 

noob:yes u did

 

me: i dont even have any armor with me!

 

noob:liar i just saw it now give it

 

( a lvl 80 memb was watching and laughing)

 

lvl80: he didnt have any armor on dude...

 

noob:yes he did now shut the**** up mmb!

 

Me:i dont have any armor now shoo

 

Noob: u ****ing piece of ****

 

Me:reported

 

Noob:wat 4?

 

me:offensive language by by

cypress85.png

i once saw ruby and ash in the wildy, thought it was a santa hat.

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