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Its pretty similar to something a lot of straight men experience with women saying they want a guy who will cry and be emotionally expressive and then when you look at who they date or sleep with its almost exclusively the opposite kind of guy. I think muggi popularized this here but watch what women do rather than say.
Well if you come off as gay then you gotta be more direct with showing your physically attracted to her, probably before the number. You can go super direct with "You look sexy as hell in that dress" or more low key depending on your personality and the venue.
Also what's setting off peoples gaydar? Do you have the accent or is it how you overall present yourself