darkly

I don't dream / remember anything.

bought some new shoes. ate some gumdrops.

reading stieg larsson as fun garbage literature at the moment. very entertaining.

the first amendment has limits. that's not particularly relevant because this isn't really a matter of legality, but one of taste.

rokkaku from jet set radio future.

black lab - "ecstasy"

cranberry juice and codeine.

I volunteered in the morning, got home and read for a couple of hours and then watched fargo on netflix.com.

its a touchy topic for me. I knew this girl that went through some really horrible stuff (like unimaginably painful experiences) and ended up killing herself. that's alright, but in most cases, its just some [wagon] whose not man enough to take on hard times.

I don't think i've ever really been happy. :/

Girls notice every single little detail. At times, it's like they're robots. Like I said, you can get away with more with young girls (or dumb girls, or drunk girls), but a quality lady of any age is bound to be obscenely clever with social situations. You also mentioned that you rarely make eye contact. No matter who you are, that will bug people. There's very little that gets under my skin farther than people who won't look me in the eye or shake my hand. Everyone notices things like that. Same as smiling. Nobody cares if you can talk about interesting things if you make them uncomfortable with bad composure and a lack of eye contact. A good conversationalist knows that they merely need to direct the conversation subtly and let the other person do all heavy lifting. Everyone loves to talk, even moreso about themselves. If you get a conversation where you're speaking 30-40% of the time and the other is 60-70%, you're golden, Ponyboy. Pulled those percents out of thin air, but you read me. If a girl finds you charming, none of what you said matters. it works for me, so whatever.

security officer =/= police officer Okay, you're accused of stealing, so you run. The police will be on the side of the security guard. And I'm pretty sure security guards can arrest people. I'm not sure, though. citizens arrest loool.

What? Get away with it? That's denial. Should you also ignore how you talk, what you wear, and exercise? No no no no. Baby steps, and understanding how to use body language to make others comfortable is a baby step that provides massive results in all social areas of life. You shouldn't condone a girl cheating. Or allow her to use you to cheat because she's attractive. Establish the ground rules. Be a man. A very young man. Just learning. But you will be learning. You have so much leeway in high school. You can experiment however you want, try nearly anything, and any consequences will be minimal. Be flirtatious. Wink at her in the hallways. Compliment her from time to time (very small compliments, I wouldn't recommend trying a verbal form of a neg unless you think you can pull it off - and if you can get by without them, great). Dance with her in the middle of the hallway during a passing period. Start dancing, by the way. Often. With everyone. It's fun, and will simply make people adore you. girls don't care about hands as long as what you say is interesting.

security officer =/= police officer