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Horatio

Horatio

Member Since 06 Oct 2014
Offline Last Active Private

#5582748 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 07 January 2016 - 10:23 AM

Was that post edited? At the time I'm reading it, it looks like he said he hates that they don't paint the speed bumps and I interpreted it as him being upset that he damaged something of value belonging to another person. I agree though, [bleep] people who have nice things.




#5582417 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 02 January 2016 - 03:47 AM

Today I got a sandwich from a convenience store deli. It had a screw in it. I guess that's one way to start a new year.




#5582159 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 27 December 2015 - 10:06 PM

Oh bother, I wasn't actually looking for advice. I think it's what the young people today call "venting" haha
 
Anyway, I have a roof over my head and I'm getting food and utilities for free. I'm only here until mid-January. I'll be turning 24 in October, at which point I can declare independence for financial aid and the money I should get from uncle Sam will hopefully be more than the housing/food/insurance I'm getting from my parents. I just need to tough it out a little bit longer and then I can do my own thing.
 
Edit:
 
I weighed myself this morning and the scale read 208 pounds and change, which is still very overweight, but considering I haven't been this light since 2011 and I was somewhere between 270 and 280 earlier this year, I'm pretty content with it



#5582054 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 25 December 2015 - 07:40 PM

In case any of you were wondering, I ruined Christmas for my mother because I should have "chosen a better time to be sick"  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯




#5581542 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 18 December 2015 - 04:52 AM

Thanks




#5581537 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 18 December 2015 - 03:37 AM

The girl from tinder didn't show up. There are three reasons I can think of that this happened.

 

1) I tried to improvise

2) I assumed she was coming even though she didn't explicitly say she was

3) It's one of those 1/3 Muggiw mentioned

 

Conversation

 

I left at 9:20




#5581483 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 17 December 2015 - 03:55 AM

I made it to the end of the flow chart and she agreed to coffee and I gave her my number and we're supposed to meet in 22 hours. I guess I just wait now and post about it here after the fact because I'll probably be really flustered either way




#5581420 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 16 December 2015 - 07:31 AM

Okay so I'm pretty confident at least 2 of you remember me and maybe .5 of you remember how my last post went. To recap, I went on the first date of my life and then a second one that went poorly.

 

 

Like I said earlier, right now you need to focus on just learning and getting experience and dealing with failure/rejection, rather than succeeding.

This actually really pissed me off when I first read it and it still kind of does for reasons I'll leave to your imagination, but I think I might actually be coming around to the idea.

 

I've tried giving tinder a shot two times previously and they both went very poorly. I decided to reactivate my account (Which actually required a lot more than just turning discovery back on and is still really frustrating on my phone and I need to use bluestacks half the time, but I digress) and it went a lot better than I could have imagined. I've gotten 8 matches since Saturday, which is approximately 8 times as many as I'd gotten in the previous two attempts. The first three conversations went pretty poorly (Which I admittedly got way too invested in way too quickly (Something I think I'm actually getting a lot better with)), then for reasons I still don't understand, the girl in the fourth one gave me her number when I asked. I've also had two conversations that I'd consider "good", by my standards anyway.

 

So anyway, I decided to come here for advice when I thought my third "good" conversation ended (~20 minutes ago), but now I think it is on an indefinite hiatus. I'm not really looking for tinder advice specifically, but more the ability to "read between the lines".

 

What I've been doing is trying to make a joke/pun about the girl's profile (2 of which I thought were actually really good, but one was a bot and the other wasn't understood by the girl) followed by "banter" (Which is still ungodly difficult for me to do in real time, but I think I'm getting better at that too) for 3 or 4 exchanges, eventually leading me to me asking her what her schedule looks like this week. Of the 3 "good" conversations I had, 2 ended the same way. The third one probably should have as well, but the girl tried to salvage it. This is extremely confusing and frustrating to me not because the conversations are ending, but because I don't understand why.

 

After I ask what their week looks like, they all say "busy" (In subtle variations consisting of a few more words). The conversation with the first one (whose number I got) ended there. The second one ended with that, followed by another message a couple seconds later saying "Unfortunately". The third one said it, and then like 5 minutes later asked me what my schedule looked like.

 

I thought that by asking what their schedule looked like, I was conveying the message that I wanted to know when they had free time (I read this online at some point, but I don't remember where. It's the only follow up to "banter" that I have) and that by them not mentioning any free time, they were looking to end the conversation. When I thought the third conversation had ended this way, I actually laughed a little bit not because I thought it was funny, but because it seemed so ridiculous that I thought I must be missing something. The (albeit brief) conversations up to that point were all going well (I thought), then they just abruptly ended it. After this third conversation, I'm starting to consider considering that maybe my lack of ability to form relationships with humans isn't because of physical defects, but because I'm actually completely socially retarded.

 

I don't know if what I'm asking is clear at all. I want to know how to pick up on the unwritten communication that is apparently being presented to me. Other than the obvious answers of "Practice", "make platonic friends", or "Read How to win friends and influence people", what do I do? I'm actually starting to kind of enjoy tinder, but I don't understand it and it's kind of frustrating.

 

This post was probably unnecessarily long and drawn out, but it's 2:30 AM and I need to be up at 6 and I've gotten roughly 2 hours of sleep, coupled with lots of studying, last minute assignments, and exams, so sorry if anything didn't make sense. I might come back in the morning to clean this post up, but probably not.




#5576846 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 07 October 2015 - 04:33 AM

On the off chance any of you remember me, I'd like to present a follow up to my previous post.

 

Things have gotten very slightly better. I have 2 friends now. I went to community college with them before I transferred and we're all in the same academic program now, so I guess that worked out nicely. We've been studying together and hanging out (I think I finally understand what that means, by the way) every now and then.

 

Anyway, this is the second time since my last post I've been tempted to seek help with my interpersonal skills and I'm deciding to act on it now because I'm feeling pretty discouraged about what happened last night. I guess I should elaborate on the two incidents.

 

The first time happened immediately after class. It was a lab class. There are like 12 lab sections for 1 lecture section or something ridiculous like that. Anyway, my lab section was one of the last to have their first meeting, so I was able to overhear other people in my lecture section talking about the first experiment. One of these people was a guy who also went to my community college, but we're not really friends. I was actually talking to him one on one at some point and he commented that all the students in his lab at this party school we both transferred to were really stupid and that because we'd already been exposed to the equipment being used in the party school lab at our community college, I should take charge because I knew what to do and it would get done more quickly. A day or two passed and then it was time for my lab section to meet for the first time. (One of the two friends I mentioned previously was in this class by the way.) I got there, the experimenting commenced and I just kind of hovered in the back of my group at first. Maybe 15 - 20 minutes. It was bad. Eventually, I decided to try to help my group by suggesting they do this or that differently (They didn't know what they were doing) and when they ignored that, I suggested that we all take turns using the equipment so we could all gain experience. At this point one of my group mates said that everybody in the room had taken the prerequisites for this class and that they all knew how to use the equipment. This made me feel really bad because I was trying to make everybody's lives easier and I pretty much got a "(Don't remember if profanity is allowed but it starts with an f) you" in return. After that, I just went back to sitting in the back of the group and copied the data from my one friend that was in the group with me at the end. (The groups had 6 or 7 people if that matters.) Then, to put the icing on the cake, my one friend went off with the rest of the group after class and talked to them while I went off on my own. When I ran into him later, he told me that the rest of the group came to the consensus that I was a dick because I knew how to use the equipment but I wasn't telling them how to. Confused and a little bit angry, I asked him to elaborate to which he refused and just commented that he agreed with them.

 

The second incident happened last night. Before that, though, I'd like to comment that I joined 2 clubs on campus and have been actively participating. One was a martial arts club, which both of my friends joined as well. The other was a dance club, which the lab friend also joined. This incident concerns the dance club.

 

The was the club is structured, everybody is broken up by experience level (beginner, intermediate, and advanced. I'm in the beginner group.) and then those groups go off into different parts of the room. Then (at least in the beginner group), the guys go on one side and the girls on the other, at which point they tell the guys to find a partner. Believe it or not, I actually think I handle that part pretty well. Anyway, once we have partners, we form a circle and practice dance moves. After a little while, all the girls rotate to the guy on their right and then we work on the next routine or whatever. Then at the end of the club meeting (~1.5 - 2 hours), the different experience levels perform for everybody to demonstrate what was learned at that meeting. This is still all prefacing; the club meeting itself actually went fine.

 

Anyway, when it got towards the end, I picked my partner for the demonstration. (Not really related, but just to show that I'm trying to view what's coming objectively - Of the 4 or 5 girls I danced with last night, 2 of them went out of their way to say that I seemed like I knew what I was doing and was better than their previous partners) Maybe 5 minutes before the beginner group was about to perform, one of the instructors decided to teach a new move, more difficult than any we'd done before. As you'd expect, our (the whole group's) performance was pretty bad. The demonstration ended and I just kind of laughed it off with my partner, with whom I exchanged an empathetic hug. Then the other groups performed and then the ending announcements happened. During the ending announcements, they mentioned that tryouts for the actual performing dance team at the school were approaching and that after tryouts, they were all going to go to some bar. I was still standing next to my demonstration partner, and kind of jokingly asked if she wanted to go (air quotes) "tryouts" with me. (I kind of use a lot of word play when I converse in real life. I didn't even realize I was asking her out; I was just making small talk) She asked if I was 21+ and I'm like "Yeah...?" and then I asked if she was to which she replied affirmatively and then I realized what had just happened and got all excited and was like "See you there!" and left. Then I got outside and realized that I didn't actually set anything up and thought I had ruined a perfect opportunity for what would have been my first ever date. I somehow managed to run into her again and asked for her number and then she suggested we just go to the bar now, so I agreed.

 

At this point, things started going downhill very rapidly. First, let me start by saying that students not driving on campus isn't uncommon due to its urban nature. I took public transportation to get to the club meeting and she drove, so she had to drive me everywhere for what follows. Oh, did I mention that right after she asked if I wanted to go to the bar her "guy friend" showed up, so he was being driven around in the same car as well? (Actually, I think he was gay. He was in the advanced dance group (and, more seriously) he kind of had that lisp thing going and his ambiance just seemed kind of flamboyant. I didn't know this at first, though. Even then, I'm still not 100% convinced either way /digression). She drove the guy friend back to his residence and then asked me to look up directions to the bar. (She didn't tell me to get lost yet and she still wanted to go to the bar, so it's not a complete loss, right?). Remember when I said I asked for her number earlier? Well, I did, but she didn't actually give it to me, so I asked again at this point and she gave it to me. I pulled up the directions and - they're closed. She then started to try to come up with alternatives (as did I on google - she knew I was new to the area by this point though) By this point it's 11:45 - midnightish and we both had class the next morning, so she suggested we reschedule, but then she actually told me when she was available (Wednesday and Thrusday night) so I thought it wasn't a total failure yet. Then we started driving back to my residence.

 

Maybe 2 or 3 seconds after the car started moving, we hit a curb. She asked me to look at it, and I told her there was mild paint damage on the front. She commented that it wasn't actually her car (I'm assuming it belonged to her parents or something) and seemed kind of flustered. Flustered, not frustrated. I tried to calm her down by jokingly saying things like "What scratch?" and "Oh, that was there before we left", to which I think she actually responded positively (?!?) and went back to normal. We chit chatted on the drive back and it actually didn't seem that awkward until we started getting close to where I lived.

 

Before this point, I think it might have been salvageable, but then I squandered any chance I had. For reasons I can't comprehend, I decided to start interrogating her about her schedule to try to figure out a specific hour and minute to reschedule to. This went on for a couple of minutes and then we arrived and I said "You have my number, right?" (I had texted her my name before) and she just kind of smiled and nodded and said "Yeah". She hadn't looked at her phone since I texted her my information. (I didn't really think anything of it until a couple of hours ago. I mean, none of the unfortunate things that had happened (other than the last couple minutes of the car ride) were my fault.)

 

Fast forward maybe 16 hours (Today - Tuesday) and I'm walking to the gym. (Did I mention I'm exercising now and I quit smoking?) I figured that it would be a good time to contact the girl because after I exercised I'd feel good regardless of how she responded. I recalled that I'd looked into dating advice in the past and that texting vs. calling to ask a girl out was something that came up frequently in the stuff I read. I couldn't remember what to consensus was, so I looked it up really quickly. I'm in the front door of the gym by this point and about to head to the locker room, so I kind of hurried up. The first result on google (Seriously, search "ask girl out text vs call" right now. I'll wait) said only to call if she's over 30, which this girl isn't, so I texted her asking if she wanted to go to the bar that was closed the next night. Then I ran and moved heavy things around for an hour or so. After that, excitedly, I started walking back from the gym and turned my phone on. No new text messages. "Okay", I thought "It's only been an hour. I'll give it a little more time". This is the point when I started doubting myself. A couple hours later I was studying with my two friends and it's getting late. My lab friend left and then it was just me and my other friend. It had been ~6 hours since I had texted the girl and I'd been looking into EVERY OTHER RESULT ON GOOGLE which said the opposite of what the first one said since then. I felt bad. Really bad. I kind of gave up on that working out at this point.

 

Anyway, my friend was talking to me about the homework we were working on or something and I'm just giving one word answers and nodding and flat out ignoring him at some points. This was like <2 hours ago now. I realize now that I probably came across as a bit rude at that point. He'd been complaining about having too much on his plate academically as well as his daily 2 hour commute to school. I'd mentioned previously that he was welcome to crash at my place every now and then because of his commute, which he'd taken me up on a few times. This was another night when he asked if he could sleep at my residence and I said "Yes, for the 20 billionth time, it's not a big deal". I was being sincere, by the way, but it might not have come across as such due to me still feeling pretty bad about this thing with the dance girl. So we started walking back to my place and when we got in my room, he started talking about dropping out and moving to Canada or something. At one point shortly prior, he asked for my opinion on dropping out of a specific class and I said "Yeah, that's a really good idea." I'm assuming even as text over the internet that comes off as very sarcastic. Well, he threw out his notes for the class. When we got back to my room, I went to the bathroom and when I came back out, he told me that he'd withdrawn from the class and that he was headed back home.

 

So then he left my room and I felt horrible for a whole bunch of reasons and then I decided to start typing this because I don't really have anyone else to turn to. I was intending on ending this post asking for help when I started typing it, but I'm not even going to bother this time because I've done it a million times before and I either get stupid advice or good advice that I don't take for one reason or another. I guess I just needed to vent.




#5573391 "I want a girlfriend/boyfriend", and other such relationship advice

Posted by Horatio on 31 August 2015 - 12:04 AM

I went to a party school. I've been attempting to socialize so much I literally have blisters on my feet from walking around as much as I have been. I still don't have any friends and nobody wants to do anything with me. I've been initiating everything. I've introduced myself to probably at least 100 people by this point (forgot to mention I'm talking to both males and females) and I think maybe 3 or 4 of them have said hi to me in the ~week I've been here. Other than sleeping, I think the time it's taking me to type this is the longest I've been in solitude since I've got here. There's no point in exhausting myself as much as I have been anymore because classes start on Tuesday and I want to be well-rested. Nobody wants anything to do with me. Even the couple of people that I've spent time with outside of school with at my old community college that are now also at the same school as me keep making excuses to not interact with me. I've been inviting people everywhere pretty much every time I've left my room. Now you can go back to circle-jerking about how I'm not doing this or that right or I'm not putting enough effort in or whatever. I've been going [bleep]ing balls-to-the-wall trying to put myself out there and be friendly since the second I stepped on campus. Just in case anyone was curious.

P.S.
Navigating to specific pages on your mobile site sucks. Someone should make it not suck.


#5536558 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 31 December 2014 - 11:56 PM

Happy new year!




#5535872 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 24 December 2014 - 09:21 PM

Who said anything about sex WHILE driving?

Randox




#5534350 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 14 December 2014 - 02:57 AM

If you asked me a week ago if I thought it was possible for my homework to inspire a moral dilemma, I would have said "No". If you asked me the same question 10 minutes ago, I would have had an emotional breakdown.

 

I'm only exaggerating a little bit.




#5530843 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 21 November 2014 - 01:30 AM

Today two girls talked to me. I don't know if it was my cologne or what, but it was crazy.




#5530520 Today...

Posted by Horatio on 19 November 2014 - 01:38 AM

Today was a cold day.