Expectations (and how they can't be trusted)
Entry posted by topham
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So I'm back, after a week away in Japan, a weird week where I had someone to talk to at any time, and right now feel lonelier than I have in a long time as I didn't use my time to talk.
(I haven't slept much last night, but was determined to be fixed so I can start my week well, so this may all be a little strange with no flow but eh... I hope is at least a little coherent)
Japan.
An amazing place.
A place I adore.
Somewhere I don't know if I want to visit again.
I went to visit my sister and meet my dad, both of which I spent nearly all the week with, which was strange. I usually am alright with being around people, but not for prolonged periods of time, which is where my problems lie. Oh well. So, here I am, back in Singapore, feeling good about going into the lab tomorrow, looking forward to it, but feeling a little down that Japan wasn't as amazing as last time, but still, I've got something to talk about.
When in Japan I visited Nagoya, and one day went into the Valleys surrounding to visit a village called Hiraoka, which is an absolutely amazing place, and the scenery in that area is truly incredible, hopefully the picture I asked my dad to take will come out well, and I might post it on here.
I expected so much from Japan, but got so little, my love for electronics and gadgets is clearly not what it used to be, and the fact that everything is the same in their currency as last time, but its worth twice as much as last time, due to the exchange rate, was infuriating as everything was horrendously expensive.
The trip gave me time to think, not specifically about my work and what I'm doing right now, but where I want to be next year, what I want to be doing, how I'm just coasting through taking opportunities as they arrive rather than hunting them down, and how nothing ever goes the way I expect, not in a bad way, but in weird and drastically different fashion to what I expect.
Now I thrive to be brilliant at what I do, and give a solid effort with every thing I try, and I gave my all at Ultimate Challenge last saturday, before catching my flight. It was a serious camp with a 6 hour training session, which seemed never ending after the 3rd of the 5 major stations, especially when hunger kicked in, and everyone became a little de-motivated, but everyone kept everyone going and it was definitely one of my best experiences in Singapore. I want to apply what happened at this camp to everything, from the team work and constant encouragement to the positivity that everyone had, and the personal drive and my willingness to complete the task at hand. So much so that I'm gonna cut back on the martial arts, try and work at the weekend and really complete this project in 6 week that I have left here. I don't have too far to go, but at the same time I have a lot of work to do. I've got to do all the lab work, and a 40-60 page report on the work that I've carried out.
I'm still unsure whether to pursue a PhD or go get a Job so I can have some money for once in my life and feel like I'm doing well for myself. I have a ridiculous list of things I want, things I want to accomplish, and I feel I can do them, but at the moment it all feels a little overwhelming that soon I'll finish here, have 6 months to really decide and get on with my life.
Now this week I'm getting back into it, lab work begins tomorrow at 10 am, I'll get in then leave I reckon after 8 pm, then Run in the evening a big lap. Hopefully see my mates during the day and sort my flight back to the UK out and move it a week and a half earlier so I can get back to the UK and to Northampton, my home town, where my best friends are, for my Birthday... the only one I'll properly have spent with them... ever... so far I think...
I wonder how many of you read the whole thing. I thank you for reading. Even if its not many people I feel this blog helps me really externalize and locate anything that seems to be going wrong, as much for personal reference as for other people to read.
Now I'm tired, not sure what I've written, not sure if it makes sense. Hopefully a more sensible blog will approach on tuesday, but as for me, I'm off to bed.
Peace
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