Doing Wrong
Entry posted by armourdilo
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My mother got another job today. About a year since her last, doing something similar to the one she had. She's essentially delivering advertising material to people's houses. I don't mean to be nasty, but it seems like that's all she'll ever be worth to the workforce. It's not an easy job, though. She has to assemble the papers into neat sets and then deliver them. What gets to me is how she quietly expects us, the children to help. I'm the only one not willing to help. Why? I have things I'd rather do, and besides, it's her job. My father wouldn't expect me to sit at his computer and do some programming while he's out getting some McDonalds (he doesn't like the stuff, but that's beside the point). That's not the end of it though. If I don't help, my mother and brother, who has offered to help start complaining that I never help and start verbally bashing me, forcing my retreat to my bedroom.
It got me thinking, about how many people I upset, annoy, disgrace with my methods and choice of actions. I started by reflecting on my day. How many people had I done wrong with my actions? There was my mother and my brother, for reasons stated above. Then, my sister, for not playing in the backyard with her, a couple truants, for attending school today, my friend for not listening to his music and myself, for not being brave enough to face my music teacher, look he square in the eyes and ask, "What the hell am I supposed to be doing?". So, in total, seven people. That's not many when you think of it as a number, but as a number of people whom you've annoyed, upset or disgraced, it's a lot.
I then asked myself, where else can I apply this? The first thing that snapped into my mind (proving, once again that my priorities are horribly off target) was RuneScape. Particularly, mining. When I go to mine, I'm there for one thing. Experience. So are other people. They're also quick to display their displeasure at my actions, and I can't blame them. Who am I to get in the way? They want to get to their desired level and it's not fair that I stop them
I also looked towards one particular person - my mother. I wanted to see how much I could displease someone. I do that a lot with her. When I don't do homework, when I don't practice singing, when I try to talk to her, when I make noises, when I spontaneously start singing, when I get along with my sister, when I don't get along with my sister, when I correct her spelling, when I don't help her spell a word, when I... Ok, she's not easy to please. Maybe that's just a reflection on me, or maybe I've genuinely found an "all the time" unhappy person.
If it is something I can change, maybe I could do something - I thought further. I looked at the alternatives for the letdowns in my day. I could have helped my brother and mother, and played with my sister - they'd both be happy (mum wouldn't she'd complain that I didn't have a shower when I got home or that I didn't do my homework), I could have listened to my friend's song, he'd be happy. I could have asked my teacher sooner, sparing me from an immense amount of stress. And I could have skipped school, after all, it is only a Monday before a public holiday and the school was mostly empty, what difference could all that make, other than a positive?
Actually, it couldn't. If I did help mum and play with my sister, I'd be short on homework, displeasing my mother and my teacher's expectations. If I had listened to the music I'd be distracted, and I would only welcome more music I don't like into my ears. If I had skipped school, I'd displease the principal, teachers and friends. What of mining? If I didn't mine I'd let down friends, my rival, my mentor and most importantly, myself (two years is too long for it to never happen!) So it appears, mostly it's a lose-lose situation.
The old philosophy is true. You can't please everyone. I know there are people that don't please me, and it sucks. It means we'll always be compared with someone else whom sacrifices a third party's pleasure to please the observer, whom doesn't care about the third party as a whiner with tennis elbow to the second coming. From this thought trial, my decision is made, trying to please everyone is impossible so I'll focus on doing what I feel is right. If I please someone else, then that's good, though it does, and always will burn me up when someone expresses their displeasure and compare me to another whom ironically, was compared with someone better.
Please discuss, share your thoughts. I need to be validated by your posts!!
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