iamcoool11
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Posts posted by iamcoool11
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I'm neutral on this bill until they actually start yanking people off of the street because that's the guy who inconvenienced him 6 years ago.
I don't think American citizens don't have much to worry here, I've never heard of someone getting dragged off by the Patriot Act. If you keep your mouth shut, you would be alright. I would sense this bill affects more people overseas rather than people within America.
Not that I like this thing, but what else can we do?
While I agree America is no angel I would sooner we locked suspects up indefinately if it means avoiding another 7/7 or 9/11.
He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither.
-Benjamin Franklin
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Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.
Don't go after girls just to go after girls... It is a waste of your time, money, and dignity. You don't want to be that guy who just chases girls around who looks blatantly *Forever Alone* do you?
I guess you're right... I just feel like I have a sort of a hole in my life now, because I don't have anyone I can think about like that.
Girls do exist outside of your highschool ;)How do you suggest I go about meeting some of them? I haven't exactly kept in touch with people from my old school.
Flyingjj, if you're still reading this, do you have any suggestions for places I could go, things I could do?
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Huh. Thanks for being frank, guys. I guess I'll just go after the other (admittably subpar) girls at my school, until she decides on if she was being truthful or not. I just want to stress, I really think she was being genuine, but it might just be my naïveté. The next time I post will probably be in a week or so, maybe less.
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"I might be lesbian" sounds like an excuse to me
Yup.
Take it from my experience: avoid girls who are "bisexual". They are either seeking attention and will fill your life with useless drama, or, are unsure what they want and you shouldn't bother with them until they're ready (aka, older).
No, no, she's seriously bisexual. I guess your second point probably stands, but she's accepted it years ago (I asked her and other people who were at this school before me). Trust me, i can tell she's sincere about bisexual.
Now, the lesbian thing, i might take as an excuse, but not i a bad way. When i mentioned "bad relationships" earlier, I meant like, coerced by her boyfriend to do "sexualy regrettable things". I think she might be a little scared to be in another relationship with a guy after that. Though she is probably not really lesbian, I'm going to have to stay in the friend-zone for a while, I think.
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Alright, I ended out coming out of this a little better than expected.
Here is the rundown:
She was sick yesterday
Spend all day nervous about what I will say wednesday
Approximate what I'm going to say (I realize you weren't ready for a relationship, I moved to fast, I wasn't really ready for a relationship either, still want to be friends, blah)
Tuesday night, try to talk to her on facebook, she's not on
Message her, say "can I talk to you tomorrow?"
Talk to her after first hour in the hall
Explain to her about above
She says thanks, we both walk to second hour (we have geometry together)
She says just before class starts, get this . . .
She doesn't detest me or anything, she just thinks she might be a lesbian!
Great!
Jesus, I knew she was bisexual, but this, this just sucks.
Sigh, there goes almost every chance I have in this school.
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All righty then. Probably last question, how long should I expect to be in the friend zone, and how long should I be feeling jittery when she's around?
It's hard to give an exact time because it's different for everyone... take your time and be patient with her. Depending on how badly she was hurt in the past and how close you guys get in the coming weeks/months, it may be a while or it may be forever. Don't get too discouraged though and don't think that much about it. As people have said here already, don't overthink. It tends to make things way too complicated (counter-intuitive sometimes, especially when you're in an emotionally confusing spot... but trust me it's true). Make sure she's comfortable because if she feels rushed or pressured again, you may be pretty much screwed. Anyhow, as long as you still have feelings for her, you'll always have those butterflies but it's kind of a nice feeling :P
Also, I just read Iamdan's post about touching. Read into that (link is in his sig), because he gives some solid tips there.
Holy crap! How did I not find his blog before!
I will immediately try to apply (almost) all of these to my life. (the last minute resistance stuff doesn't exactly apply to me)
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All righty then. Probably last question, how long should I expect to be in the friend zone, and how long should I be feeling jittery when she's around?
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Uh oh. She said "no"? :(
Huh. Yes, actually. It was all pretty awkward. The beginning parts aren't important, what is important is that she said she didn't want to because relationships are a lot of stress, and she still wants to be friends. I guess this means, at the least, temporary delegation to the friend-zone.
I guess I'll be over it soon. I hope so.
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*sigh*
Guess what happened?
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Did I read that right? Saint Paul? Well, then, just call me up and I'll show you a great time! :P I am kidding, but it's good to know there is another tifer near here.
This might be too late to help, but fancy restaurants (or at least mid-level chain restaurants like olive garden or TGI Fridays) can be expensive. Saint Paul has plenty of cheap, classy local places to eat that you can try depending on where you live. Like... Snuffy's... or Italian Pie Shoppe.... I don't really know exactly where you're at, so hard to recommend. Generally, don't go with fast food, try a local place if you've been to one before (if you've never been to a restaurant before, I would recommend not going there on a first date, could cause you to be unsure of yourself if you don't know what to expect from the restaurant.)
My god, Snuffy's? How did I NOT think of that? That would be perfect! I live near Como lake, a few blocks from Roseville.
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It's not that you can't say wear jeans on a date. Been there, done that, especially with some activities because jeans are more durable or just plain easier to clean. But for a first date, especially since it looks like its going to be a restaurant of some sort, I figure she is going to be expecting something a bit classier. Jeans might be the wrong item to pick on though, since the shirt is probably more important. Say a powder blue and white vertical stripe button up shirt (yes, I have a very specific shirt in mind here) with jeans can actually look really nice. Wear a t shirt with dress pants and you look like a dumb ass. Wear a t shirt with jeans and your one step above sweatpants. At that point it sort of looks like you don't care.
It does depend a bit on the people though. I mean for some people I'm sure that's perfectly acceptable/ I'm just saying jeans and a t isn't cool for people like me, or most of the people I know/am aware of.
EDIT: I'm probably out for the night. Iamcoool11, if you have any more questions for me in particular, just pm me on the forums. I'll check this when I get up tomorrow, so you'll probably have my answer by lunchtime your time (I am guessing a bit, but since your still awake this seems likely). Or just post it here. Whatever.
Good luck and have fun.
What time zone are you in? I'm in central standard, but lunch is around 10:30 for me(my school starts early)
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I can see the whole thing forming in my head already. Thank you so much, all of you. I really would not be able to do this at all, if it weren't for you randox. Thank you SO MUCH.
I'll write again tomorrow, and tell you how the first stage went. I just want to thank you one more time, for spending so much time on my case. I should probably let you get to work on Kalphite now.
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I'm pretty sure the only restaurant chains I actually eat at semi often are Swiss Chalet (which actually isn't a bad choice either. Everyone who eats meat likes chicken) and Mc Donalds (obviously don't go here).
Taking a shot in the dark on what colour I am imagining your clothes to be, I would go with the khakis and blue polo (I am assuming the khakis are some sort of tan). Polo is just as good as a button up shirt without a tie in my books.
And nice news about the money, though I still don't expect fine dining for a 9th Grade date (partly because your not even close to legal drinking age yet, which puts a cap on how fancy you can get anyway).
Honestly, for me the worst part about dates is figuring out what to wear. No one ever sorts this out for first dates (its like traditional to not do this or something I swear). Fortunately there does seem to be an accepted standard of semi-formal, which dictates that you not wear jeans, and wear a nice nice shirt (pretty much anything that is not a t-shirt, whether that T be long or short sleeved). Your also allowed a necklace if you want. Be glad your a guy in this respect. The girls have it way harder. Guys have a one dimensional sliding scale from casual to formal, where girls have at least to axis to work with lol.
Alright, polo, khakis, good. But, once again, a stumbling block. I have things I absolutely cannot get out of Monday and Tuesday evenings. When should I ask her out? I feel like tuesday would be awkward, because then there would be another day of school afterwards. But I also feel if the date would be on wednsday, it would be too rushed. And sligtly related, when should I ask for her phone number? That's something that happens on the first date, right?
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Olive Garden is pretty "meh" Italian. Chinese food sounds good, though. Do they have Leean Chin in Canada? It's like Chinese fast food, but it tastes pretty good.
On clothing: I have black pants, khakies,and blue jeans. I have blue and white polos, white button-up, a tweed jacket, and a blue blazer. I also have some more casual clothes, but they aren't very attractive.
Oh boy, I just get so excited, getting advice on all I need to know from someone with more experience than me.
Oh, and money probably won't be a big issue, it turns out. My parents can give me about 50 or so bucks (first dates are kind if a tradition in my family, usualy I need to do some serious work to get that kind of money). So, as long as it's reasonable, how I come off is the important variable.
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I don't think I can thank you enough. One more question though. What would be a good restaurant for a couple of awkward ninth graders to go to that's not too expensive, but not too low class, either? Maybe... Olive Garden? I don't know.
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Well, anything about religion or humanitarianism wouldn't be my top pics for conversation on a first date, unless your both really into that kind of thing. If the conversation does go there, just don't argue.
Umm.
I think you nailed it with the theatre honestly. I'm not really into that, so I can't get specific, but if I suppose you could talk about whatever play your going to do next, or plays you would like to do, or ones you really like. Not entirely sure what you mean by geek, since that can cover a few things. If that's books, that can be a good one. If you mean like video games, that could probably work too, especially if you both just got Skyrim or something.
Does that help at all?
Ooh, books. You definitely helped me out. I just remembered that some of our best conversations were in AP literature, about the books we were reading. THANK YOU SO MUCH, now I have to confidence to ask her out. All I need now is to decide on what do do on the date.
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Its possible, but I have never really bothered with planning things like that out. In my experience, conversations have a way of going places on their own, so once you get things started, your normally in the clear. Now obviously things are going to bit different for you, in Grade 9 than they are going to be for me right now as a post grad, but I normally start off just asking how the other persons day went. Since I go to University, I ask how their classes are going. Showing interest in the other person is always good. People love to talk about themselves, and things that interest them (which is why you should date people with similar interests). It's a really good way to get someone to open up, and of course, showing interest in her is bonus points.
Now, for you its not going to work quite the same way. I imagine you two share a lot, if not all your classes (or if you aren't in the same class, you probably have the exact same subjects and teachers in a school that size), so that's not going to work as well. My point is if you ask her what she's learning about right now, she's going to wonder just what [bleep]ing planet you live on.
Try as I might, I actually can't remember any of my other conversation starters. Hell, I can't even remember how I met my first date (I remember where though. I met them at bandcamp :thumbsup:). I think they invited me to sit with them and their friends though. That same thing happens when I try to remember how I make friends. At every camp I have ever gone to, I've made a friend the first day, normally by lunch time. I still don't have a clue how I do/did it. It would make my life a nice bit easier if I did though. I find meeting people is all about finding an excuse to talking about them, then hoping/pushing the conversation to move beyond whatever trivial thing you used to start it.
But I am drifting away from the problem at hand. I'm drawing a blank for general ideas for you, because in all honesty, I don't really have a clue what 14 year old'd talk about anymore. I'm willing to bet its not school though. Unless its about how much you hate it/some teacher/homework.
So sure, post a bit about her and her interests, and maybe I can come up with something better.
Alright, I'll just throw out things as they come into my head.
She's...humanitarian, hangs out with geeks, but she really hangs out with everyone. Uhh, she's really pretty, wears glasses, as far as I've heard she's Lutheran (I'm ex-Lutheran, now atheist), she has gone out with a few other geeks, she's a total theater nerd (me too, we just finished a school play together, so we could talk about that), umm, she's a girl... that's all I know about her, really. Can you come up with anything?
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My first real date ever was dinner at a restaurant. It worked out fairly well, without much in the way of awkward pauses or anything, but my date was also a very social and outgoing person who helped to fill in any kind of blank space. I guess ideally though, if your going to try tgo date someone, then we are going to proceed under the assumption the two of you can hold a conversation for more than 5 minutes.
If your looking for things you can do together that put a little bit less pressure on you for the first time, then I would consider going to see a sporting event (like a hockey game) to be something of a compromise between the almost no talking of a movie, and the constant talking of dinner. You don't have to talk full time, but you still get plenty of breaks (plus intermissions), and the game itself can provide a topic for you if you get stuck.
Another one I have done is skating (as in the open skates that most rinks will hold a few times per week). Assuming the two of you can skate, its something to do together, and you can talk while you do it, or even try to compete with each other for fun.
It doesn't have to be fancy. Just pick something that you both enjoy doing, that you can do together, and that offers some chances to get to know each other better.
Hmm...
Hockey could work...
If I describe her a little, could you guys help with some conversation topics?
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I'd have to agree that a movie is a bad idea for a first date. Snow doesn't necessarily rule out anything outdoors. If it's not too cold, dinner and a nice walk though a light snow can be very romantic. :thumbup:
I don't remember if I expressed this, but I get the strong feeling that being too romantic would come off as somewhat creepy, especially for two, kind of geeky, ninth graders. I don't want to sound like I'm fighting your advice, but I don't want there to be too much pressure on her from the get-go.
EDIT:
EDIT TWO: Deleted last edit, realized it was untrue.
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Thanks so much for replying. I have a different problem, however. I have no idea what do for a date. Last year, one of my problems was I didn't know what was considered appropriate for middle schoolers. I assume some of the same rules would apply in ninth grade. So, do I ask to go to a movie, or what? By the way, the first snow just fell here in Saint Paul, so that rules out most outdoor activities, I guess.
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Dear all-mighty relationship gods,
I have a problem. But before I can tell you that story, I have to tell you this one . . .
My name is Andrew. I go to an extremely small school (300 students for 6-12). I am a bookish, fairly popular kid, but I only joined this school my freshman year. The school used to be K-12, but just over the summer they cut the elementary program. This means most of the students were at this school for a fairly long time. There is a big focus on community, so everyone is at least aquatinted with everyone else. On the whole, it's a very welcoming place.
The problem lies here: in my (relatively) small group of close friends, which means, four or five people, there is a girl I am convinced I am in love with.
Now, I understand, high school love is stupid, when I'm older, I won't care, blah blah blah. But I am extremely inexperienced in romantic situations. Hell, I only became socially adequate last year. And I swear, she is the only person I've ever met who I felt this way for.
The real problem is, in such a small school, word travels faster than sound. I don't want my social life in tatters already. Also, she is one of my few close friends, and, knowing me, I would screw up my first relationship so badly that we couldn't talk anymore. She has already had several bad relationships, and I don't want to be another regret for her. Will someone please tell me my fears are unbased?
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I assume you mean the RuneScape monster.
Pro: Easy to kill.
Coin: Has crap drops.
Blood.
Pro: Makes you...be alive
Con: Can be gross.
Hockey.
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Let's do something new.
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Huh. Makes me glad I live in Minnesota, for once. Our last earthquake was in 1968 :cool:
US House votes to up defense and limit human rights
in Off-Topic
Posted
Perhaps you can't, but that's beside the point. The point is, we have enough security; they already took enough of our freedoms.
@Giordano
The whole point of America is that you can say whatever, express whatever, you know? This law would give the government the power to indefinitely imprison anyone, for essentially any reason they want. This is a crazy mockery of everything America stands for, not to mention unconstitutional. And our government has proved its willingness to abuse its power in the past.