This is a story I started working on a bit ago, inspired by EVE-online scientific articles (best game ever) and a school project where we had to make a planet, I went way over the top with it though, we only had to have basic conditons, tilt, moon(s), tides, and landforms. I did this and much more, I called it Planet Terra...

 

These are going to be a lot of short stories that come together to show the history of the planet from people on it at different times.

 

 

 

Enjoy what I've done so far. (For those not really into the more sciency part of the background, skip the introduction except for the last paragraph) Feel free to comment on it, flame if you want, I'll just make it better with critiscism.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tales from Terra

 

By FalconBomba

 

Inspired by Terra and EVE-online Scientific Articles

 

 

 

 

 

Introduction

 

 

 

The date is 2389; the Human Race is expanding toward the stars with the advent of faster than light ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬Åjump travel.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Ok my first impression(At the time of this sentance I hacen't read it fully so this post might change before I am done) is that it is really interesting...if not a BIT TOO sciency. For instance:

 

 

 

finding of node points in the gravitational pulls of binary stars that allowed the study of worm holes created by the rapid oscillation of the gravitational pulls of the stars

 

It sounds like you have swallowed a scientific journal. Ok the majority of people couldn't careless about the flux capacitor or the molecular discombobulator, but it doesn't mean you need to over flow with science. I am not saying take the science out I am saying that there is too much in too small a space. If you said that

 

Wormholes were discovered by a scientific survey of Binary stars. It was found that the gravitational field was in so violent that it ripped micro-fractures in space. The fractures, left for thousands of years, had slowly swelled to the size of a normal wormhole.

 

This way you leave other wormholes open to explaination and you don't tie the reader down in science, without avoiding the issue completely. Sorry I have a tendancy to ramble on and on and I am on a time limit, so I have to leave the point there.

 

 

 

Second point, in contrast to the first there are bits that just sound like a very advanced five year old though them up:

 

make more calculations per second than anything in the known galaxy

 

Usually what new things do.... (Also Quantum Dot as a name should be Capitalised)

 

Ultra-computers made with Quantum Dot processors, the fastest proccessor know to man, even rivialing the Human Brain.

 

 

 

Thirdly, too sciency and yet to basic:(I do appresiate that this is based on Eve, and I am not an expert or even an amature at that, what I do know though is that if it has a grounding it science I should be able to work it out)

 

self-avoiding 4-manifold

 

As the stress between poles built, a concave fold in the time-space continuum was formed. The Four Fold Self Avoiding Manifold or FF-SAM as it became known for easy of saying, is basically a tentacle like appendage that extends from one node to another and thus linking them though the magic of space-time.

 

 

 

Fourthly, and this is a continuality issue, if they discover this from observing Binary stars and thier magnetic fields then it would mean they should have to be pretty close to the stars...Ok you can watch them from Earth but that doesn't give magentic field readings to more than a vague concept...also if you have the ablitiy to form large gravity producing items in a lab then it stands to reason that you could create a space station and ship that would use gravational energies to cut the need for faster than light systems(you put a massive gravational field on something you can effectively pull it past light speed because there is more energy with no extra mass, of course the energy involved would still be giganormous and FTL travel would be prefered.

 

 

 

No idea what this is:

 

mass boson plasma, but I assume it is something similar to a super dense material, such as a neutron star.

 

You then go into another super sciance ramble that just makes me think that you don't understand it you are just reading off a card(Sorry thats just what I get)

 

 

 

You have

deep freeze.

doesn't need a fullstop. Neither does Warp drive.

 

 

 

large enough or larger size than about the sun of Earth

 

Miss the or bit out

 

Large enough size than about the sun of Earth. Also for referance its Sol, the name of Our sun.

 

 

 

It ushered in a new age of prosperity in the entire known galaxy for the human race.

Known Galaxy and Human race refer to the same thing....its a double positive and is just bad grammar.

 

 

 

After many years it reached the edges of civilized space

 

What is it?

 

Again if it is this method of expansion then there is a continuality issue in that Civalised space usually refers to space that has already been colonised...that would therefore mean that the travelling had already been done and FTL travel isn't neccessery.

 

 

 

You have said promising inner planets. Plural. More than one Earthlike planet is unlikely but possible no doubt, but you make it sound very uncommon to actually find a earthlike planet, and that being said the whole gateway project seems very(sorry to sound capitalist) expensive waste of time.

 

 

 

amazingly similar to Earth in its landforms and resources except for specially adapted animals for the planet and plants

 

 

 

It was very similar to earth, except for evolution, on this planet there was a number of difference

 

 

 

Ok I don't know anything about naming in years to come but Terra seems unlikely(ok this is just me having a dig at something that seems unlikely).

 

 

 

make chase after me

 

Its either make chase or chase after me, not both.

 

 

 

tungsten 250mm shots

 

Sounds good but projectiles in space would rebound off the hull, their impact and explosive capablities would be therefore greatly weakened, and when lasers exist it sort of gives the impression of unrealistic weaponary...But again technology is fickle and might have devolped differently.

 

 

 

A stall is usually assossiated with flooding the engine with more than enough fuel...or in an aircraft having a lower speed than is required...or someting to do with angle of attack I am not sure but the point is that a warp drive as you explained it, can't stall.

 

 

 

Wormhole travel should be instantanous and human reactions should not... checking my surroundings in the nanoseconds, either he has been wetwired to have super reflexs or you are making it larger than life.

 

As for crashing out...I have no idea but doesn't seem likely.

 

 

 

You are telling the story in the forth person. You are narrating 3rd person about yourself 1st person...very odd, not bad though.

 

 

 

HOME-system

 

Sol-System

 

 

 

Afterburners indicate constant thrust...breaking the rules of space travel.

 

 

 

I had the nanos build a special add-on to the ship that it would make out some of the bullets lodged in the armor, I would never know if I would have to use it but, if I did, the new 50mm railgun would be operational.

 

Seems like you combind two seperate ideas and didn't make sense.

 

 

 

Of the thirteenth

 

On the thirteenth

 

 

 

I handed the bulky phone that can transmit the signals through an ancibal (device that allows instantaneous communication through light-years of space.)

 

I handed the Ancibal, an inter-spacial phone, to Sall.

 

Going though the entire passanger list...again...really doesn't constitue good writing.

 

 

 

Over the next few days, the group of us disassembled bits of the nano-construction module used for repairs to the ship to make some building supplies

 

You are out of energy and its not likely that a thing of Bosson mass is just waiting for you....The other alternative is that you have a combusion engine on board...which seems equally unlikey in a modern day craft.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ok have actually finished reading now so...Its a good story and despite the lengthy post above I quite liked it. I am just someone who does long replies is all...sorry for being so critical, I liked it and want to know what is going to happen next.

Thanks for the post, I'm gonna fix those when I can.

 

 

 

Also first the introduction is supposed to be a lot of science in one spot as I'm explaining the basic ideas of what is the background for the story after 300+ years of technological development that allows the story to be possible.

 

 

 

Also the data from the binary stars was intended to be collected from space stations in closer space stations and colonies arrived at through sub-light speed travel (SLT) through cyrostatis.

 

 

 

Third, mass boson is a very dense ball of liquid energy that can still be moved by magnetic fields produced by the "warp gate" (a giant electromagnet machine that is able to turn parts on and off) to conform it to the correct shape for the "jump" to a connecting gate. Also the continuality issue is thus avoided by having it then form to the point where it collapses behind the pilot once through.

 

 

 

I wasn't quite sure what you mean though by your last quote. The onboard uses a large solar collector for power and most ships are installed with small mass boson spheres that are capable of small warps. (Less than 20 A.U.s) So, I don't see why there would exactly have to be a ball of mass boson there, all you have to do is synch with a planet or the star of the system and you need enough energy to form the boson. Also, you wouldn't run out of energy unless the star just goes out.

 

 

 

So you like the way I tell the story? I was kind-of feeling like using a different type of nararation and this is my first sci-fi.

Yes, personally I like the Forth and Second person(not that you used the Second person I just like it)

 

 

 

I know there is supposed to be alot of Science in one place(sorry if you have changed this already) I just felt that maybe it was too much Science in one place...Sort of like something out of Voyager where they just TechoBabble something and the Audiance accepts it without actually understanding or taking any of it in.

 

 

 

SLT would take a long time to do anything, just seems that the time it would actually take for it to happen(Even travelling at the high-end of SLT, or Light Speed itself) the technology would be devolped at by the time...three systems were colonised, taking Alpha Centuri as the example:

 

It would take 4.3 years at light speed.

 

Oh course it wouldn't just be slightly slower, it would be alot slower than that. So Light speed is:

 

(Just so you know this is not one I prepared earlier, and I am not a great converter of numbers)

 

671 million miles per hour

 

299,800 Km/sec

 

Taking that 20 Gees would be DEFINATELY fatal to humans:

 

Going at 20,000 Rotations per minute(explained in a sec) 20Gees will be exerted at a radius of 0. Ok doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me but we can safely say that 20 thousand miles per hour is way(WAY!) above our tolerance.

 

So putting the max estimate there we are going at least 30 thousand times slower(600 million miles per hour as light speed which is over 70 million lower), meaning every second at light speed it would take 30 thousand seconds longer to travel at this speed. Which is 500 minutes. Which is 8 and a third hours.

 

So lets put that into the equation. 4.3 years times 30 thousand...129 thousand years.

 

So....

 

 

 

Now going from memory most Earth-based(As if there were other) based aircraft usually have a max of 1000 miles per hour thats 20 times longer to the estimate. Even the less conservative side of me that says 2000 miles per hour whould make it 12.9 million years.

 

 

 

Of course they could use something like inertia shielding(Assuming that was invented) but that would require energy per second and such like calculations. But assuming that was all fine then lets set the max at...1 million miles per hour? going from the same low speed of light it would still be 2580 years(600*4.3)

 

 

 

Ok so we have established it is almost implausible in the extreme? Lets go beyond reality and see where it becomes realistic:

 

At about 60 Million Miles an hour...then it would only take about 43 years(I use the term lightly)

 

120 Million miles per hour would take 21.5 Years

 

240 Million Miles Per Hour would take 10.75 Years

 

480 Million Miles Per Hour would take 5.375 Years

 

That assumes of course that it is possible to have that much energy to continue the speed build up to negate the space dust and such like.

 

 

 

Then again going at...60 million Miles per hour you don't really have a chance to course correct(1 Million Miles a Minute) 16666 Miles a Second. That would mean it was a mile at every 16666th of a second. Even at Nano seconds you are stuffed. If there is any sort of astronomical anomly like a gravity well you would be off course, to correct you would either have to exert mega dangerous amounts of thrust at the speed and probably rip the ship apart. The alternative would be to stop and then start again.

 

 

 

Sorry but this is really going into the realms of fantasy. Looking at teh last 1000 years we have devolped to an Atomic Society from a Divine Society. After 1 colonisation it would have taken longer than that...Most of the innovations that have happened was in the last 200 years. Assuming we continue at that speed, or accelerate, we are going to get to FTL before then.

 

 

 

 

 

As for the Jump Drive thanks for explaining what Mass Boson is. But as electromagnets take constant power it seems very inefficent...So Boson would have to be incredibly easy to make.

 

 

 

Wormholes are just Folds in space, they connect one point to another via folding to points in space to nearly next to each other. It doesn't really have anything to do with the lack of any force acting on it. Other than space dust and micro-asteroids that would just be space as per normal.

 

 

 

Just so you know I am not attacking your story(It really is a good read)...I am just trying to understand what you are talking about? It doesn't really make any sense to me, and if it doesn't make any sense now then the odds are the science later on will be equally difficult to understand. I want the story to be as best as possible, especially if this is your first sci-fi story, its better to know how to respond to annoying people like me. :)

Ok I'll change that part of the story to somewhere along the lines that the bullet was moving faster than the ship in the wormhole and sent it crashing through the wall of the wormhole in a crazy spiral that wound it up near the system in which Terra is located. (I guess when looking back on EVE the reason that you had time to react in the wormholes are that you were wetwired into the system and had super implants.) Also, I'm not sure how mass boson is produced but I have an idea that it would be that it would be made by crashing, at near light speeds, protons or electrons together like their going to do in Sweden in the next year to make mini-black holes. (Can't remeber if it was electrons or protons.) This would create the density needed, probably pretty cost efficent in the next couple centuries to make if we're doing it now on a very basic level.

 

 

 

Actually your very good at this, not annoying, and I said you can flame and report mistakes so I can make my writing better, thats why I posted it here. This way many people can see it and comment so I can make it better rather than the limited 15 or so people at school who don't have much idea what its talking about in the science department either. (and this way I don't have to explain the science 15 times, just once in type \ )

 

 

 

Also this might take awhile to fix entirely as I have a hectic schedule, and just started learning VB and home work with projects, some time to have fun on Battlefield 2142 and much more I have to take care of atm. Blah. But all in all I thank you for your posts and glad you like it, I made a story last year that I didn't post and never really finished because it bored me over the summer and people told me it was too gory for a 12 year old to write.

 

 

 

(If you have any tips for .vb please tell in the bottoms of posts as I could use any help I get. I started yesterday and the most I got was it to say some things, react to me saying the amount it should say, and how many were left after a process. This is very basic stuff as it was my first day.)