June 23, 200917 yr Hello you. No one would ever know. Was it so long ago? When we used to play together. Lived our lives, and chanced forever. Suddenly It all came crashing down. I thought you'd be around. But then this joy I had was frozen, on the day that your were stolen. So here I am. Just asking myself why? And was it all a lie? As I lay flowers upon your breast. And in the deep, your laid to rest. [hide=]I was singing to myself and the first verse popped into my head so I wrote it down. After that nothing else came natural, which is why I feel it's a little rushed.[/hide]
June 23, 200917 yr Hello you. No one would ever know. Was it so long ago? When we used to play together. Lived our lives, and chanced forever. Suddenly It all came crashing down. I thought you'd be around. Always? But then this joy I had was frozen, on the day that your were stolen. You? So here I am. Just asking myself why? And was it all a lie? As I lay flowers upon your breast. And in the deep, your laid to rest. And if I lay these flowers upon your breast Would you sleep. Lay down to rest. Code: Underline is 'not sure of meaning' Bold is 'maybe the wrong words' Italics is 'punctuation' Overall it was a good attempt, I am not much for poetry, but it didn't try too hard(in the way that poems do) to force an idea, it was very natural in that sense, so I liked it. http://www.uzzisoft..../archimage.jpegWell I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts.
July 3, 200917 yr funky, good attempt great poem lots of money is tainted, it taint yours, and it taint mine
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