~Journals of a Newb~

[Whipslayer]

Day:1

 

I Just got off a long ship ride, on the "Lady Lumbridge" .. I met quite a few people on there..Who had dreams, of making it to the big time. As I slowly walked the plank of the ship, onto Lumbridge bay, I thought, of all what was waiting for me, as a kid, I heard of many people, who became wealthy, with big axes, and capes that were on fire! I wanted to be like them! I talked to the man in the fuzzy blue outfit outside, he said, to probably start by killing Chickens, Me? Chickens? NO WAY! as I walked along the bridge, I felt some pain on my back..and right behind me..a big huge goblin! I ran..and then..

 

 

 

Well, I'll update everyday, this is my first story =\

 

Please rate :)

[archimage_a]

Congratulations and Salutaions...sorry...

 

Welcome to the Library, if you have not already read the rules.

 

 

 

Nice opening, but to avoid getting it locked you should try to elongate the beginning of the story to about half a side of A4 at least. Then try to keep the story at least 10 lines every update.

 

 

 

Try not to use the '...' to much and defintely dont use 'and then' it really ruins stories were every paragraph ends with 'and then'

 

 

 

The lady lumbridge is not the ship you arrive on its the ship in dragonslayer, but thats not really important.

 

 

 

Make sure you choose real life or Rs life, don's swap between the two.

 

 

 

All in all very good post just make follow the rules the best you can and ask when you need help.

[inuyfreak]

Basically what archimage_a said lol.all in all its not bad. :thumbsup: sounds pretty good so far...maybe add a few extra stuff in it so it isnt like everyones acc.