YAGEX TALES-Chapter10- "Curiosity"

YAGEX TALES

Table of contents

Prologue- The end of the end?

Chapter One- Of pures and killing

Chapter Two- In the flesh

Chapter Three-Honor Forgotten(part one of To sell a paper hat)

Chapter Four-Buying and selling(part two of To sell a paper hat)

Chapter Five-The rarest item in the world(Part three of To sell a paper hat)

Chapter Six-Another companion

Chapter Seven-A noob's tale

Chapter Eight-The beginning of the beginning.

Chapter Nine- What lies within

Chapter Ten- Curiosity

Chapter Eleven-A brave new world(Coming soon!)

Prologue-The end of the end?

Philip knew this was the end of the end; not only of his life, but of everything. With a small chuckle he remembered the world of his youth, how happy and free it was compared to this horrid version. He wanted badly to return to that lovely time, and if he was granted such a wish he would definitely not spend his days wasting away glued to a book on JAVA coding, locked in his darkened bedroom all weekend. No.. if he was given such a chance he doubted that he would touch any such "revolutionary" book, even with a ten-foot pole. Lost in his memories, he failed to avoid a kick from one of his brotherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s mindless drones.

"OW!" He flinched slightly as his shin throbbed with pain.

"Keep moving, you lazy sack of flesh! Or IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll give you something real to mope about!" The guard growled. The sharp, red scimitar he clutched glowed ominously in the fading daylight. "We have to make good time.. Otherwise, our Dear Leader will be most upsetÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ"

Dear LeaderÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ Is that what Anthony chooses to call himself now? Whatever happened to "Mod"!? Philip thought. He could almost remember a time when he had held that title himself, Mod Philip. But now was not the time to think about the past. He doubted the guard would be so patient with him the next time he stopped marching. They were always such a violent people.. the "pures"..

Thus, the pair marched on through the fields of "New Lumbridge", with the Dear Leader AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s palace not far away, for Philip could see the effects of the "New" revolution in all directions. It was a "movement", for lack of a better word, to "correct the problems of Runescape", as said by Anthony himself. Philip and the former Mod Craigeth had been the last two Mods to stand against it, fighting for the freedom of the people and, perhaps, for their sanity as well..

There was no question that this "New" Runescape was strange. Even the lowly road that Philip walked on was neat, straight and even, with all itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s cobblestones exactly the same size. The trees were exact clones of each other, as was every blade of grass. Up ahead, he could see a group of "skillers" hacking away at a perfectly formed yew tree. The new autoers, mindlessly gathering resources for "the good of the empire".. When they passed that very yew tree, the "pure" stopped to chat briefly with the supervisor of the yew cutters.

"Greetings Comrade Pure_death666!" The "skiller moderator" bowed stiffly. He was generically bald with a brown mustache, and wore a green shirt with a pair of tight, tan pants.

"Greetings as well, Comrade IskillforL1f! How goes the gathering of Our Grand NationÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s yew logs?" The guard didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t bow back, but looked at the skiller with distaste and a sense of superiority. In a way Philip was glad for the pures; due to their naturally violent nature they were allowed to retain some aspects of their personality and humanity.

"Very well, as always, comrade! Production is up at least two hundred percent! Why, we should be able to meet quota in a few hours time, despite the new, higher standard our Dear Leader has set! May I ask how goes youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re current.. mission?"

"Very well. I have finally caught the last fugitive and I am bringing him to await the judgment of our Dear Leader. May his horrid ideas die with him.."

"Indeed, comrade. The pinkies have always been ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâresistantÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ to rational thought! I am glad to know that the scrawny fellow youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re escorting is the last of them!"

"This isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t just any ordinary pinkie, this is the legendary former Mod Philip!"

"Really? ThatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s him? How fascinating! Unfortunately, I believe our chat must end. I have already spent 11 minutes, 45 seconds, and 5 milliseconds talking to you when I couldÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve used that time to drive these yew cutters to cut faster! Time is logs, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m afraid! So, forgive me, but I must bid you farewell, comrade."

"Very well, if that is what you wishÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ Farewell, comrade." The pure sneered, rolling his eyes as he turned to Philip. "Come on, you worthless rat of a pinkie! Rest timeÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s over, scum!" He poked Philip viciously in the back with his sword. "If it where up to me, I wouldÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve killed you on the spot! Sadly, that was not what Dear Leader Anthony requested.."

The remainder of the walk was very uneventful, with the pure occasionally making unseemly comments about how he wouldÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve killed Philip "right then and there" and jabbing him in the back with his scimitar. Philip tried his best to ignore this, however it is hard to think of anything but death when there is a bloodthirsty killer breathing down your neck. After another long, painful hour, they finally passed though the gates of "New" Lumbridge. With a nod to some of the other guards, the pure lead Philip to the doors of the sprawling Lumbridge castle, protruding menacingly out of the gathering mist that had settled shortly after sunset. Philip was in a daze as he was lead up the gray steps; the moment seemed to be suspended forever in time.

"YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re in for it now, pinkie!" The guard hissed as he pushed opened the gigantic wooden doors, forcing the unwilling Philip through the door way with a sharp kick. Philip winced; not only from the pain of the attack, but from the knowledge that this was truly the end of the end, that, after many months of running and hiding, his death had finally come.

wow, I'll reserve judgment until you add a couple more chapters though, I am interested!

I leveled up mr. Biggles Gah ha ha ha ha ha!

I tried to level up Mr. Biggles but he does not seem to have levels up yet :XD:

Very interesting. I look forward to seeing where you take this metaphor.

You had better take it somewhere, though. Don't let the same fate befall it as Bluudkein Wolf.

(I would still like to see that come back.)

Note- This chapter was starting to get like really long, so I have decided to convert it into two chapters instead..

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter One- Of pures and killing

Philip and the pure known as Pure_death666 walked down the dark corridors of what used to be Lumbridge Castle. A bright, lively place where new players could hang out and perhaps ask for directions, it was now cold, gloomy, and malignant. Philip didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t particularly enjoy being dragged across the bloodstained floor, but the situation couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t be helped; whenever he tried to stand he was brutally kicked in the shins by the pure, who would then scream "ON YOUR KNEES, PINKIE!". After a few rounds of this, Philip finally gave up and let the pure drag him down the hall.

As he quickly discovered, there was much to be observed while you were laying on your back. The ceiling had the same neat, regular pattern of stones as the road, broken only by a few spidery cracks. Oddly enough, the floor was exactly the same as well, although a bit colder and damper; for parts of the ceiling glowed red in the dim, flickering light of a few sparse torches. All the windows were boarded up, even the ones made of stained glass. Apparently, Anthony has become a vampire.. Philip had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing hysterically. What the hell is wrong with me!? Hmm.. maybe I am going insane after all.. Finally, they reached the door; the door to the room that used to be the banquet hall of Lumbridge Castle, now known as "AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Throne Room".

"Ooh yes, youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve caught another pinkie!? Mhmm.. Perhaps Anthony will let me do the killing this time.." said another one of AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Pure Guards, stationed at this entrance. He was clad in the typical uniform of the Pures; monkÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s robes, probably looted from the corpse of some poor old monk, too old and poor to defend himself. A vicious red dagger hung limply at his side, and Philip could just barely make out the deadly shine of the dripping neon-green poison covering itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s blade. He was young, muscular; yet he also had this almost feline leanness to his physic- a body designed more for attacking than for defending. He stared at Philip like a cat staring at a mouse just out of reach, safely hidden in itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hole.

"If anyoneÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s doing the killing, itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll be me, S33u1nLum! IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m the one who caught him!" Pure_death snarled. His green eyes gleamed with pride and greed; a lion guarding itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s freshly killed antelope from hyenas.

"You? YOU? Ha, thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s a laugh!" the pure apparently known as "S33u1nLum" snickered. "WhatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s your strength level again? Two?"

"Umm.." Pure_death fidgeted a bit. Apparently, he is new to the "Levels" ranking system.. Philip thought.

"Well? LetÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hear it then!"

"Err.. itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s sixty.." He practically whispered the last part.

"SIXTY! ThatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s laughable!" S33u1nLum laughed cruelly. "You think Anthony would really even bother with a strength level sixty pure??"

"Hey, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m the one who caught him after all! This isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t any ordinary pinkie, ether!"

"Oh really? I see a useless lump of a pinkie lying on the floor, nothing more, nothing less.. What exactly is so special about this one?"

"This just happens to be the former Mod Philip!"

"Sure he is. You know what? IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m a fish too, and sheep can fly!" S33u1nLum growled sarcastically. Although, he did glare at Philip with renewed interest, and Philip hated the hungry look that came into his eyes at the sound of "Mod Philip".

"Believe whatever you want, Seeyou! This IS Philip, and I caught him all by myself!"

"Whatever. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll just let Anthony deal with you, kay?" With that, S33u1nLum slowly opened the door, and with a violent jerk, Pure_death666 dragged him inside the chamber.

how can you write names like that? It would annoy the hell out of me!

BTW: Ha ha! Lord of death is a higher level than Mister Biggles!

Pretty good.

and I am glad that you are back in the library

how can you write names like that? It would annoy the hell out of me!

 

 

 

BTW: Ha ha! Lord of death is a higher level than Mister Biggles!

Copy+pasteing is my friend. :

Chapter Two-In the flesh

There he was, Dear Leader Anthony himself, perched on a throne centered in the middle of what used to be the castleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s banquet hall, staring at Philip with eyes made of ice. From his current position Philip couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t read the expression on AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s face, though he doubted it was amiable. He severely regretted letting the pure drag him on his back for so long, for the cheap pink tunic he wore had started to develop holes, and his bare skin touched the icy floor. Oh how painful and humiliating it is to be dragged across the floor! Philip thought, yet despite the throbbing pain in his arms and back(The pure wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t exactly gentle with him after all) he felt oddly dispassionate about the situation. The pure continued dragging Philip to AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s throne at a brisk, eager pace, and Philip thought immediately of a excitable Labrador puppy bringing home a duck to grace his masterÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s table. At this rate, it wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t long before he was lying at AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s very feet.

"RISE, IBECILE!" bellowed the pure, raising his weapon to slash at PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s knees if Philip didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t get up quick enough for his liking. Philip considered not moving whatsoever, letting the pure kill him out of spite and thus ending his life much more quickly than holding out for whatever Anthony had planned for him in his final moments. He was going to die ether way, so why not take the easier route? "USE YOUR LEGS BEFORE I CUT THEM OFF!" snarled the pure, quickly growing impatient.

"Now, now.. letÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s keep our fine feathered friend in one piece, shall we?" The dark sarcasm in AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s voice chilled Philip to his bones, more so than the floor ever could. "We donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t want him to get hurt.. yet.. Give him a chance to face me in his own good time." The pure, cowed by this sudden rebuke, slowly lowered his weapon and stepped back to give Philip more space. "There. ThatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s better. Now, Philip, would you be so kind and give me, youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re dear host, some respect? Lying on your back is certainly no way to greet your bother, who you havenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t seen in how many years?" He turned to one of his young mage guards, a female clad in sea blue robes, standing to his left.

"Ten and a half, exactly, sir!" The pride in her voice was unmistakable, so happy and pleased was she that she could answer a simple question.

"There we go. ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s been almost two decades since IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve seen or heard from you, Philip! Surely you could afford to give me a warmer greeting? Have some respect for you self. Stand up and face me." Anthony, the glassy, false texture of his voice temporality shattered, growled the last sentence as a command, plain and simple. Such a command was to be followed under all circumstances, and thus Philip knew he couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t dawdle on the dungeon floor anymore unless he wished for a long, painful death. Slowly, he rose to his feet and looked into his brotherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes for the first time in ten years.

His features were gaunter perhaps, definitely more bony since the last time Philip had seen him, and he still wore those square glasses, perched carefully on the bridge of his crooked nose. He wore his hair loose just as before, although it had lost most of itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s honeyed coloring by now. There was no mistaking it though; this was without a doubt still the face of Anthony Gainer. However, as the eyes of the two brothers met, Philip noticed the greatest change of all. AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes, once a deep light blue and so full of expression, were now cold and thoughtless, almost machine-like. His heart, once worn prominently on his sleeve, was now carefully concealed behind a thick sheet of ice; if he even had a heart at all.

"I can see that you have changed much, brother.", said Anthony, and those terrible eyes drilled into Philip with such incredible force.

"As have you.", muttered Philip. He never took his eyes off of Anthony, not even once.

"Look at yourself. You come to me groveling on your belly, dressed in a spotty, disgusting pink robe; both a felon and a horrible nuisance at best, a torn in my side. I have to wonder whether or not you really are the supposed Mod Philip as Pure_death666 so claims. But I trust my pureÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s judgment, and for the sake of time, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll assume you really are him and skip all the unnecessary red tape. Ah brother, why must we had to have gone our separate ways.. If you wouldÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve stayed with me, my one loyal Mod to the end, I wouldÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve made you a king! Second to none, except for me, of course! But no.. you had to start this.. this revolution thing. What a wedge it has driven between us! Alas.. however, despite your terrible crimes I am willing to put aside all this mess if you tell me the location of the rest of you.. pinkies. Tell me the location of youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re nest and I will let you rule beside me. We can start from square one, from the beginning, and shape Runescape as we see fit, together!"

"There are no more left.. youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re pures killed them all. There is no nest.. and if there was, I wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t tell you anyway! And you are no brother of mine!"

"Very well.. I shall give you once last chanceÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ Where are the rest of your people? I know thereÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s moreÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ DonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t lie to me.." Anthony snarled, his voice devoid of all the sarcastic politeness.

"Never. Unlike you, I am loyal to my principles. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢d rather die than utter their location to the likes of you! If there was more!"

"Your choice. Lock him away in the dungeons! With no food! Maybe while heÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s starving he can rethink his answer.." At the sound of his voice, the guard mages quickly grabbed Philip roughly by the elbows and lead him away to the dungeons; the area which used to be the kitchen basement of Lumbridge castle now converted into a prison facility. As he was walked out the door he could just barely make out what Pure_death was saying to Anthony.

"But, but master! DonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t I get to kill him?" whined Pure_death.

"All in good time, Pure_death666." Anthony muttered.

"But.. he insulted you and youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re.. letting him live?"

"You have much to learn.. if we kill him now, weÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll never find out were the remainder of the pinkies roost.. I can assure you he will die in the end, though.."

Ah, nothing so refreshing as a story from Unoalexi...

Excellent as always

Ah, nothing so refreshing as a story from Unoalexi...

 

 

 

Excellent as always

You likey? YAYS! :

Chapter Three-Honor forgotten

Thus Philip was dragged down through the small wooden trapdoor, into the pitch-black chamber within. So this is it he thought, happy that at last it was over, this trying revolution. Perhaps he would find more peace in the sweet oblivion of death than in life. Considering my luck, I wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t be surprised if I didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t. He doubted Anthony had the patience to let him rot in his newly assigned cell for too long; it would only take a week or so before Anthony gave the order for PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s execution. He really does hate me.. much more than I could possibly hate him. Philip shuttered when he recalled the look in AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes as they talked face to face; like the stare of some poisonous snake, unfeeling, inhuman, yet simultaneously smoldering with carefully concealed rage.

"DonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t squirm, you filthy pinkie!" growled one of the mage guards; the exact one who had been so flattered that she could answer AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s question. Why must all of these pures be so rude? Philip bit his lip to avoid wincing as a bolt of white hot pain shot up his arm; the young mage had tightened her grip on his wrist and was now pulling it in an impossible direction.

"Stop." ordered the mage on his left to the overzealous girl on his right.

"Why should I? He is just another pinkie, just another of those bottom-feeding bastards!" She stared at him in defiance, and Philip could see the fire burning in her eyes.

"That doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t give you a reason for treating him so poorly. He may be a pinkie, he may be our enemy, but donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t you think he knows that already? Why must you show your anger and hate for him in all that you do? Such actions are irrational, such swearing is unnecessary.. I can assure you that he will not be pampered in the coming weeks, if he lives that long.. Show violence only when Anthony commands you to do so, or have you forgotten you training already?" His voice had a calm, commanding air; the kind a general or another such leader of men would have. Whenever he spoke it sounded like a speech.

"Why should I, Macabre?" the she-pure snarled, her voice edged with mockery. "What authority do you have over me?"

"None. None except the enhanced knowledge of the words of our Dear Leader himself. We must treat our enemies with respect and honor." The pure evidently known as Macabre said. He was tallish, with messy black hair and a pair of thick-framed glasses framing his cold, gray eyes. He was much older than the female pure; Philip thought he looked thirtyish.

"I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t remember the Code saying that!"

"He said it before the Reconstruction."

"Ha! I got you there! I only have to obey the Code, not these random bits of policies pulled from writings written forty or fifty years ago!"

"..Plus whatever Anthony says himself. You can trust in my insight because you are a noob, both in body and mind, and I am not."

"IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m not a noob!"

"Do you remember what life was like before the Reconstruction?"

"No.. I wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even born yet.."

"Exactly. Case closed. Now, we really donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have the time to sit here and shoot the breeze. Move along, little nooblet."

"Whatever, Macabre.. You didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to be such an [wagon] about it." She rolled her eyes and reluctantly tugged at PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s arm, although graciously more gentle this time.

"Once again, the eye rolling and swearing was unnecessary. It clearly shows just how immature you are.."

"Whatever. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m not talking to you anymore, so there!"

"Do as you wish. Although I must thank you for doing me such a favor. It was getting so tiresome having to listen to your gibberish."

"Wha-" She opened her mouth to reply, but before she could say anything, Macabre interrupted her.

"I thought you werenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t going to talk to me.. Are you implying that you canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even commit to a simple mandate such as that?"

"Hmmph!" She turned her head to stare at the wall, refusing to even look at him.

It was only a few minutes before Philip was roughly thrown into his newly assigned cell. He broke his fall with his hands and knees, scraping them across the rough concrete. Ignoring the pain, he struggled to his feet to watch the pures argue down the hall from the iron bars of his cage. Soon, they were gone and the room descended into darkness once more.

I'm liking Macabre already...

Reminds me of someone... its in the back of my mind...

Great chapter!

Chapter four-Buying and selling

Philip shivered. His thin robes offered little protection from the drafts and the pockets of frozen, wet dungeon air. He began to pace his cell, rubbing his arms to warm himself. All he had to do was wait it out now; the end was so close he could practically taste it. The prison didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t bother him much at all, and the cold was nearly tolerable, considering he had endured much worse trials than this. As his eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom, he could see a small window cut high up into the stone wall. From this, he gazed out into the pitch-black night. Not a single star was visible tonight, nor even a faint slimmer of a moon. Great.. now I canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even wish for a miracleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ Saddened, he turned to stare at the prisonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s bars once more.

He heard a faint rustling noise coming from the western corner of the small room, and his eyes darted to the source of the sound. A darkened lump was lying on the floor, and it had started to move. Hmm.. perhaps this place isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t as lonely as I thought..

"Hmm.. what?" the figure muttered, sitting up. "WhoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s there?"

"Only Philip." Philip murmured.

"Only Philip? Ha.. so the cats have caught a new mouse to play with?" the person stood up, tossed away the patchy blanket and lit a match. "Well letÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s have a good look at this fine new plaything, methinks.." It caught and burned so that Philip could see the young manÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s face clearly in the flickering light. He had quick, ferrety eyes, both intelligent and slightly mischievous, which darted back and forth between the various features of PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s face. His reddish hair, once neat and well-kept, framed a rather dirty, narrow face. His voice was loud and slightly hoarse, as if many years of yelling random sentences repetitively had worn it down over the years. "So, Only Philip, what did you do to piss off our feline friends?"

"Ermm.. itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Philip, not Only Philip.. and itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s a long, complicated story.. one that would take many hours to properly explain." Philip spoke with weariness. He really didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t feel up to discussing his lifeÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eventÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s with a total stranger, especially one that seemed so.. untrustworthy.

"Ah.. Philip you be. My mistake, I am sorry. Come, have a sit with me." He gestured to a broken bench lying against the wall.

"No thanks IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢d.. rather not."

"Come I insist! It isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t as bad as you see. Sit, sit, sit.." When Philip refused he gently grabbed hold of PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s arm and lend him to the bench. Philip, tired of being lead around from place to place yet too weary to resist, cautiously sat down on the bench, and his escort soon joined him. It creaked ominously underneath their weight. "My apologies for the bench.. Ole Plaguey isnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t quite as soft as she used to be. Now, since we are trapped in this cell here for a good bit of time, we might as well get to now each other, hmm?" Philip nodded slightly after the person had stared at him for a few minutes, apparently waiting for a reply of some sort.

"Good. Now.. since yours is along one, I shall begin with me story. Firsts, me name be Kal Theo. I be a merchant, or I was, for a while. Until the ban on me trade I was a good merchant. Of course the cats donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t like me trade, so they lock me up. Theythinks I be the norm, theythinks they can play mind games on ole me. Lucky for me I still be good at me trade! Ha ha! The cats.. they donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t get much. They donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have nice trinkets or the gold to buy them. They live off words and blood alone, methinks. But some long for such trinkets, may be secretly, may be not so secretly. Plaguey, or Plaguexrange, be the latter, lucky.

The pure that guard the doorway hmm.. what be his name? Seyouinlum, or something of that sort. I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t know, catÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s names be too similar. Anyway, he be of that sort as well. You see nice, bright dagger on his hip? That was mine, he likes it better than scimmy. Theo not always honest though.. Theo donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t like cats. Cats arenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t always nice to me. No.. that dagger be a replica! Absolutely worthlessÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ ha ha! Poor idiot.. I feel almost sorry for the cat. But not quite!

But some cats donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t trust me.. some cats suspicious. Like errm.. what be the name? The_Macabre? Yes.. that be his name. He too smart for his own good, he donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t like Theo.. Lucky he doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t walk these halls too often! So, that it for me, methinks. What about you?" Kal Theo turned all his attention to Philip, making poor Philip feel very awkward indeed. Oh the things he would give just to lie down and sleep or at least be left to his own devices! But luck was on his side this time, for just as he opened his mouth, the sound of footsteps could be heard coming down the hall way. Someone was coming!

Chapter Five- The rarest item in the world

"Shush! Act natural!" Kal Theo pushed Philip off the bench as it creaked wildly in distress. "Plaguey doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t like when we convicts are chatting. I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t know, could be the_Macabre, even worse then, so shush up!"

Philip tried his best to look "natural", as Kal Theo put it, as a girl clad in leg armor crafted from only the finest black dragon dragonhide walked past the cell. Her feathery blonde hair was tied up in a loose bun, leaving loose strands trailing down her back. In one hand she held a torch, and by itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s light Philip could see the shape of a chunky, burnt-red bow strapped to her back. Kal Theo ran to the bars as soon as she passed by.

"Hallo, Plaguey! How be my finest customer these days?" Theo clung to the bars desperately as he tried to catch "PlagueyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s" attention.

"Macabre said I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have to talk to you, Theo! He said you lie and cheat because your a merchant!" Plaguey snarled, although Philip noticed a faint flicker of excitement and hope in her green eyes at the sound of TheoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s voice.

"Awh.. donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t listen to that old nag! He be only jealous because I wonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t sell things to bloody ninnies like him!

"If you speak to me again, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll fill your gut full of arrows with my bow! Just like a pincushion!"

"But donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t you want to see what I got for you today?" Theo reached into his back pocket and gingerly plucked a small, folded piece of paper. He gently unfolded the item with careful fingers-evidently it was rather old-and showed it to his eager customer by the light of her torch. In his hands he held a blue paper hat, just the right size to be worn on a personÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s head. "I show you.. a most rare and legendary blue party hat! Could be the last one left in this very world! Yours not for cash but for only a simple, small favor!"

"Pshh.. what would I want with a dumb paper hat?"

"What? How can you name this beautiful relic of Runescape past dumb?"

"What makes it so special?"

"It be the most rare thing ever! Wearing it earns you instant respect, among all who happen to gaze upon your head. It is a symbol of wealth and power! Just think.. simply by wearing this simple garment you could be come the queen of the rangecats! The queen of all cats in fact.. second only to Anthony himself! At least, others will think you are."

"YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve got to be kidding me! That little thing?" Her face shone with greed and her eyes flashed with ambition as her fingers inched slightly forward, desperate to posses this simple hat made of mere construction paper.

"I no lie, me good lady. That be the truth."

"What do you want for it!? IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll give you anything! Name your price!"

"Hmm.. not much, not much at all.. Simply shred MacabreÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s undergarments, nick me real food, good and fresh food, from the kitchens everyday, and get me a nice new cushioned bench to sit on. Also, I want some soft woolen blankets, a few fluffy pillows, and a few more books of matches."

"Hmm.. I can do everything but the undergarments. MacabreÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s room is in the northwest tower-they wonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t let me in!"

"No undergarments, no hat."

"Fine IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll.. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll find a way."

"Good. As soon as you do these, the hat be yours!"

"Thank you, thank you very much!" Philip watched as she rushed down the hall, eager to perform the tasks required of her.

As she left, Theo turned to Philip and winked.

"Nice work, dontcha think?"

Impressive, all that for a b100 p4r7y h47!

Heh, those people are relatively weak of mind.

Chapter Six-Another companion

Kal Theo smiled crookedly, obviously very pleased with his deed. It was a expression purely for the benefit of himself rather than his peers; a smile that was more ferrety and introverted than even a sneer. He looked at Philip, obviously expecting some kind of praise or a compliment as he continued to clutch the cold iron bars. Philip stared back, not bothering to take the hint. It wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t that he disapproved of the merchantÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s actions; in fact, he could really care less. However, his mind was too numb to comprehend what Theo asked of him, and he gazed blindly into space rather than into TheoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes. A few awkward moments passed between them before Theo walked back to the bench, puzzled by PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s odd behavior.

"Well, arenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t yah going to sit with me?" Theo said, relaxing on the wildly creaking bench.

"What?" Philip muttered, snapping back into consciousness.

"You sayed that you were going to chat with me? About your story? Dontcha remember, Phil?" His face was etched with worry and confusion.

"Oh.. yes.." Philip wondered how he could possibly avoid retelling such an intimidate tale to nosy Theo as he slowly walked to the bench. As he sat down it gave an angry creak of protest, and the seat swayed erratically beneath him. Maybe IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll just push him into some other topic.. After all, he is rather talkative.

"Sos.. DonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t worry about the bench.. it should last until Plauges finds a new one. Ah.. What a nice pet cat I found, methinks. She do whatever I says for a unless paper hat! All cats be like dogs methinks.. all you have to know is where to scratch, and they die for you! Anyway.. enough of my chatter. What about yourself, oleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ Phil?"

"Well.. like I said, itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s a very, very, very long story. It probably begins before your birth, perhaps even before your fatherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s birth. Anyway.." But this was a luck day for Philip. More loud footsteps echoed down the halls, and before he could even finish his sentence, Theo shoved him off the bench while hissing at him to "act normal". Theo ran to the opposite wall and proceeded to stare at it as hard as humanly possible.

It wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t much longer before Macabre and the snippy female mage guard from earlier appeared, dragging yet another prisoner behind them; a young teenager, not a day over thirteen, wearing a plain green shirt and brown pants. The teen clutched a grimly chefÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hat to his head for dear life, and his dirty cheeks were wet with tears. Philip could just barely see a small bronze dagger clipped to his waist, and on his left arm he wore a shield made of solid wood.

"This is your cell. Can you find it? Good, ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹Ãâcuz itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s right in front of you, you stupid noob! Give me your weapons too, otherwise you might kill yourself with them out of your own stupidity.", the female said with malice.

"IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m.. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢M SO SORRY!!" The young boy whimpered, crying and sniffling dramatically. "IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll n..never ask for a GF again! Pwease for..forgive me!"

"Just STFU noob, youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re only making it worse for yourself!"

"Okay.. could you maybe give me back my items?"

"LOL? Why on Runescape would I do that??"

"Cuz your nice?"

"LMAO.. Noobs.. they never stop being so stupid and pathetic!"

"I thought I told you not to swear, Pk4ev4h!" Macabre growled, staring at the female mage with disgust.

"IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m still not talking to you, stupid Macabre!"

"You just did.." Macabre rolled his eyes.

"Hmmph!" Pk4ev4h muttered, evidently realizing her mistake. It took her a little longer to open the cell door because her hands were shaking with rage. She shoved the noob inside with an angry push, and slammed the door violently. "How nice.. a bastard pinkie, a filthy thief, and an idiotic noob-all in the same cell!" she muttered, stepping back to glare at the prisoners like animals in a zoo.

"How mature, taking out your inner frustrations on both the cell door and the prisoners within.. It absolutely amazes me what I am forced to put up with- a hypocritical, pompous fool of a mage and a gullible ranger who would practically take her own life for some lustrous noveltyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ"

"Macabre, come down off your high horse and stop using big words. It only makes you look even more like an [wagon] than you already are!"

"At least I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t speak in acronyms and swearwords! Also, I thought you werenÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t supposed to speak to me.."

"Hmmph!" After she realized her defeat, she turned to walk down the hall as fast as she could; all the better to get away from Macabre.

still liking Macabre, good chapter, I think I'll add a couple of his words to my sig.

Lol i like Macabre too. love the story so far aswell, keep it up mate.

Hunter

Chapter Seven- A noobÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s tale

Long after the two mage guards left, the scruffy stranger was still lying spread-eagled on the filthy prison floor, crying and moaning to himself. He sobbed loudly and obnoxiously, quickly forming a pool of wetness around his body from the tears. It was definitely the most annoying noise Philip had heard in a long time, and he clamped his hands over his ears to try to muffle the wails. However, his subtle efforts worked poorly, and he wondered if this was one of AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s first efforts to torment him into talking. Meanwhile, Theo was trying his best to calm the noob down and stop his hysterical sobbing.

"There now.. it ainÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t be so bad!" Theo said gently.

"Yes.. it.. IS!" cried the noob.

"It be only as bad as yah make it out to be! Look.. at least you gots me and oleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ Phil! At least you be not alone!"

"YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll probably be mean to me.. and I.. LOST MY CHEFÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢S HAT AND GLOVES!! WAHAHAAH!"

"DonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t worry.. There be a good deal more chefÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hats and pairs of leather gloves in the world still. If you stop crying, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll give you a nice present!"

"Free.. stoof?" the noob muttered, and for once, Theo commanded all of his attention. He rose eagerly from the grimly floor, his face caked in snout and spittle. His eyes glowed with utter fascination as he stared at TheoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s face, enthusiastically awaiting his gift. Ah.. finally the idiot stops crying.. I couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t take one second more of his wails without popping a blood vessel Philip graciously removed his hands from his ears and walked slowly to the bench, after all his legs were growing weary from standing.

"Good.. no more crying, okay?" Theo whispered softly to the youngster. The noob nodded, his eyes trained on TheoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hands as Theo reached into his many-pocketed trenchcoat, pulling out a glittering object.Like a dog sitting for a treat.. "Here yah go, kid." He muttered as he deposited the trinket into the noobÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s outstretched hands.

"Woah.. what is it??" the boy whispered, holding the object up to the dim light reflected off the dungeonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s walls.

"You want to see it more clearly? Here.." Theo quickly lit a match and held it up to the kidÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s gift. It sparkled blue-gold in the flickering light of the match, and Philip could barely see a white wool string attached to itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s end.

"ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s a sapphire amulet of magic, see? Here.. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll help you put it on.." Theo carefully removed the amulet from the noob and gently put it around the noobÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s skinny neck. "There you go.. See? Not all people are as mean as them cats.."

"OMG OMG Thank you!" The noob said, his face glowing with happiness. He hugged Theo as hard as he could.

"Uggh.. your.. welcome.." Theo grunted, prying the noobs arms off his chest. "First of all, my name be Kal Theo, although you could just call me Theo, that what everybody does anyway.. And that guy.." He pointed roughly in PhilipÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s direction, "be Philip, but I just call him oleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ Phil. He donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t talk much, methinks, he only like to stare at people. So donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t be afraid of him cuz he donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t bite. Now.. what be your name? How did them cats getchaÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢?"

"Umm.. my name is SirKevin2635, sir.. I was feeling rather lonely one day, and I decided I needed a girlfriend to keep me company after I used the "Home teleport spell-thingymagig" because it said it would take me home and I figured out I was horribly lost and I was scared and.. and.." The noob, unable to use punctuation effectively, had started to hyperventilate.

"Calm down my good chap, breathe! You have to take a breath between sentences! Use punctuation!!" Theo said, worried for the noobÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s health.

"Okay.." The noob took a very deep, much needed breathe before starting again, speaking slightly slower this time. "Anyway, this funky teleport thingy spun me around in a circle before I somehow found myself in Lumbridge. I figured this was a good place to look, after all, a lot of people are in Lumbridge. So, I stood outside this castleÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s courtyard and started shouting ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâLooking for a hawt, naughty girlfriend! Type 333!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ for a while. I was in luck-a person actually shouted 333! It was a chick too, or so I thought.. So, anyway, this chick walks up to me, and let me tell you, she was really hawt! She whispers ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâHey, big boy, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m Cexkitten64, and IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m very, very naughty." She was wearing like, this skimpy little getup, and she started caressing my thigh. She was so very, very close that I could smell her perfume.. and let me tell you, I was totally turned on! She then leans even closer to me and whispers in my ear, "Ooh, do you want to go behind that bush and cyber? ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll only cost you ten-kay.." I was like, "Yeah, youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re totally hawts! Just let me get my money.." Quickly I start rummaging through my pockets for some cash.

All of a sudden, this troop of these people run up to us. They were wearing expensive weapons like DDSÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s and D scimmys, but their armor was like, all noobish.. they only had like, monkÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s robes and stuff! I wanted to run away, but I couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t move! It was like my very muscles were blocks of ice! Then, this dude puts a DDS to my through and says ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâBy the order of Dear Leader Anthony, you are under arrest for whoremongering and attempted cybering! YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re coming with us, noob!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ and he starts dragging me to the castle! I turn to look at my girlfriend, and they had her backed up against the wall! As I was beening lead away by these monsters, the other chick says to my girlfriend ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¹ÃâYour under arrest for being a [bleep] and changing your gender, Heman4512! You sick pervert, you donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even deserve jail!!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ Then, she touches my girlfriendÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s shoulder and, in this brilliant flash of light, she turns into a.. a HE!! I felt like puking right there.. but then the DDS girl , in two quick swipes, slashes the poor dude to pieces in a bloody mess! Of course, my poor stomach canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t take such violence, and I ended up puking all over the dude leading me! He didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t like that too much.. and he kicks me in the balls, like really, really hard!! I was passed out until we reached the dungeon, and well.. here I am today"ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ

"Wow.. so you actually threw up on one of the guards?? Which one??" Theo muttered, his bright eyes flashing like a ferret.

"IDK.. He wore black, all black.. and he had a Abby whip. He also had green eyes and mousy brown hair.."

"Oh sweet Guthix in all tranquillity, you threw up on Knitehund??" TheoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s eyes went wide with amazement before he burst out laughing. "And you actually lived to tell about it??

"I guess.. although he practically neutered me with his foot.."

Knitehund be the most vicious pure around! IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m amazed that he didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t kill you.." Theo muttered to himself, lost in thought.. "Maybe he learned some self control since then, hmm.. Anyways, Phil?"

"Yes?" Philip uttered, dreading what was coming next.

"Maybe you could get own with youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re story hmm? I canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t wait to hear yours.."

"Yes, yes! I wanna here yours first, Phil!" The noob piped up, curious as a kitten.

"Well.. like I said, itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s very, very long and rather boring in spots.. but I guess I could tell you it." Philip muttered with regret. He softly cleared his throat, and began his tale.

Chapter Eight-the beginning of the beginning.

It began with a simple trip to the London Branch Library to check out a cookbook for our mum.. It was a lovely summer afternoon, and Anthony and I had just finished our last day of school, so we were all the more eager to complete the chore. We walked briskly to the library, chatting about a number of trivial things-girls, sports, and such. However, there was really only one thing that dominated our thoughts; how we would spend these few months of freedom from books and teachers. I was just outlining a daring plan to toilet paper Mr. LentonÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s house(the most batty and mean old ninny you could possibly meet) when we finally reached the gleaming glass doors of the public library.

The stuffy lobby was completely vacant except for a ancient librarian, who kept shooting me angry stares until I finally stopped talking. I roamed the shelves, much quieter this time lest I should invoke the old batÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s wrath, searching for the cookbook mother had requested. Anthony had apparently ran off somewhere, probably to read another one of those obscure fantasy novels he loved so much. I sighed to myself, and shook my head. ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s just like Anthony to disappear the moment thereÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s work to be done.

I scanned the musty, thick books, cursing my motherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s sudden urge to try Latin recipes. She fancied herself a five-star chef, and was always very eager to try cooking anything to "give her more experience." Mostly, these attempts were.. less than successful. However, on occasion, we would get lucky and something would actually turn out edible(like the borsht we had last week.. that wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t half bad.). Thus, Anthony and I often were sent to the library to check out cookbooks. Although I preferred she would actually follow a recipe instead of making things up as she went along(she was rather fond of this too), I couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t say I enjoyed myself running these errands.

The library was sweltering hot in the summer, and below freezing in the winter. It was drafty, damp, and I could hardly breathe in the heavy, dust-ridden air hovering over the thousands of tomes. The librarian would snap and hiss at you for making any noise whatsoever, even if you coughed or sneezed. So, whenever I heard the dreaded words-"Philip, go get Anthony and check out book x from the library", I cringed.

After squinting in the dim light for what seemed like hours, I finally found the book Mother had requested. Eager to leave this awful place, I grabbed the book from itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s shelf and began my hunt for Anthony in between the rows of fantasy books, however it seemed he wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t in his usual haunts. Frantic, I ran from isle to isle, ignoring the snarls of rage from the librarian whenever I stepped on a squeaky floorboard. Huddled in the electronics section, I found him glued to a book as usual.

"Come on, Anthony! I found the dumb book, letÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s go" I whispered hoarsely, hoping that the old hound at the front wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t overhear me. ThereÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s no telling exactly what she would do if she caught you whispering.

"Not yet.." he seemed to mumble, not playing the least bit attention to what I said. He was totally engrossed in that book of his, the one with "A How-To Guide to Java Programming" printed neatly across the front.

"Anthony, I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t have time for this! I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t want to waste my summer in this crypt! Come on!" I tugged at his arm for a moment or two, pulling him to his feet. Relentlessly, I dragged him to the counter, clutching his book for dear life.

"Well well well, so itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s the rowdy cooking bunch again?!" The lady growled as I placed my book AnthonyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s(desperately pried from his hands) on the front desk. "Should I bother to check out your books this time? Maybe If I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t, itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll teach you that the library is a place for absolute silence! Hmm.."

"Please, mam, please check out our books. I promise IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll never ever utter a sound in this library again, I swear it if you check out our books! Such a beautiful, kind, sweet lady as yourself could surely fund it in your heart to forgive me of my terrible sins!" Flattery always works.

"Well.." she was obviously very subdued by my flattery-I doubt she has been called "beautiful" in a very long time indeed. "Okay. But only this once. Other times.. WATCH OUT!" she snarled as she handed our items back.

"Thank you, my sweet madam.", I cooed, kissing the croneÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s hand just before we left. Snatching the yellow book from my arms, my brother delved back into the captivating guide. Elated about finally leaving that horrible place, I didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even complain about the extra work as I shoved and puled my brother out of the building, too engrossed in his book to walk.

heh, Like how you tried to talk somewhat like an English person... nearly pulled it off, but it's okay!

Liked the story, do continue!

heh, Like how you tried to talk somewhat like an English person... nearly pulled it off, but it's okay!

 

 

 

Liked the story, do continue!

I tried my best there.. it's quite hard since I am an American and haven't had much experience with British people.. -.-

The accent is American, That's how I would describe it, its not really something I have the proper Vocab for, its all in the nuance.

Chapter Nine- What lies within

By the time we finally managed to arrive home, I was exhausted. Pulling Anthony down the sidewalk wasnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t an easy task at all, especially when you had to shove him violently every so often to keep him from walking into other objects and people. I felt like a guide dog for a blind person, for Anthony had his eyes glued to the pages of that book the entire way home. Nothing could break his absolute concentration, and I gave up trying to speak to him after he screamed, "Belt the bloody hell up, Philip!", in my face a few too many times. Weary of the silence and physical strain, I was definitely overjoyed when I finally stepped through the front door, Anthony, cookbook, and backpack in tow.

Our house was your average Surrey townhouse-small, cramped, with a brick exterior. I waited in the kitchen for Mum to appear with her prize clutched in my hands like a knight awarding his mistress with some exotic artifact obtained after a noble quest, as Anthony quietly slipped away, up the stairs to his bedroom. It was impossible to resist noticing the bright yellow cabinets adorned with a wide variety of fantastical creatures; clearly out of place in the dreary kitchen, they were the result of MumÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s "art phase".

"There you are, my Philip! I was wondering where you where.. Have you brought me the book I so direly needed?". Mum said in a singsong voice. She was dressed in a very colourful outfit, flowing with all sorts of different patterns and bejeweled designs, somewhat like a peacockÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s feathers. The glasses were the only thing even remotely sensible about the getup, with thin, square frames. Perched on her flyaway hairdo was a brilliant silver tiara, the latest addition to her "around the house" wear. Of course, Dad wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t ever let her wear something like this in public, so she confided her.. creative.. clothing designs indoors. "Yes.. thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s it, Philip! Jolly good job, you even managed to find the Limited Platinum Edition copy! Now, my brave and noble adventurer, what shall be your reward?"

"Umm.." I paused for a moment or too, trying to find words that even she couldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t possibly misinterpret.

"I know.. how about.. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll sew you some brand-new bedclothes-an offshoot of the WBMIMGT clothing line!"

"No thanks.. Mum, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢d rather not.. I like my bedclothes the way they are.."

"Okay.. how about I make you a bowl of that borscht you liked last week?"

I severely regretted muttering that I liked her cooking last week. "Umm.. I have a better idea.. how about you give me ten pounds or something like that?"

"Are you positive thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s what you want, love?"

"Yes, Mum.."

"Very well.." she mumbled, sounding more than slightly disappointed as she took out her wallet and handed me a few bills. Of course, none of the bills she gave me were actual pounds, however there were more important things to attend to at the moment.

The narrow stairs creaked as I slowly proceeded up them, hoping not to alarm the reclusive Anthony. As far as I knew he was still absorbed in that book of his, but I didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t want to take any chances. If he heard me, he would simply lock his door and not come out until supper. I was correct, fortunately; he was lying on his bed with the family cat nestled in the crook of his legs, nose immersed in the book. He surprisingly didnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t even growl obscenities at me as I approached the foot of his bed. Instead, he turned to look at me, his eyes utterly awestruck; he mustÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve not have been reading as feverishly as I thought.

"Philip.." he muttered softly.

"Yes, Anthony?"

"This book.. it has all the answers!"

"Answers to what? YouÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll have to be more specific than that, or I shanÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t be able to understand a word youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢re saying."

"Do you even know what this is?? Here, let me show you.." He showed me the book so I could see the complicated codes lining itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s pages.

"No, and frankly I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t care. ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s just a bunch of boring Java codes that I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t understand."

"JUST A BUNCH OF JAVA CODES??" he laughed maniacally, and for a moment I was concerned for his sanity. "NoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ these codes allow you to create your own universe- a world you can build and form as you see fit."

"What!?" I cried, absolutely shocked at this revelation.

"Yes! Just think about it.. our own planet! Or country! Or something of that like!" Anthony was practically drooling as we both huddled over that manual, ideas of grandeur and nobility racing in our young, greedy minds. "ItÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s all in this book! IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve been studying how to create the portal right now!"

"What can I do to help?"

"Keep the parents busy-no doubt that theyÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll try to stop me before IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ve built the portal.."

"How long will it take you to build it?"

"About four hours or so.. I donÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t know, something like that, IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ll have to read some more.. Go down stairs, and keep Mum busy so that she doesnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t overhear what IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m doing." With that, I rushed down the stairs, thinking of ways I could keep our mum "occupied" for a long period of time.