That is pretty much the entry I wanted to make. Now without further ado, some thoughts:
I do well under pressure, I consider it a gift and I say it with arrogance because that's what it deserves, some damn hard arrogance to be really felt. Now, I don't really understand how my mind works, I seem to work well under pressure only when I'm running out of time or I'm fighting. Games, arguing, girls, talking, decision making, work, none of it shows up in there and I can't really draw on its "power" when I really want to. It makes me seem pathetically lazy and I really wonder if I have Attention Deficit Disorder (another topic for another time).
If I'm late, or something is due, or a friend needs help, my mind and body kicks into overdrive and I'm literally so focused that I don't have second thoughts. Now, that may sound unimportant, but when was the last time you did something without second thoughts? I used to do it as a kid all the time, have a straightforward characteristic, but now I overthink things and I have second thoughts which then eventually turn into thoughts of laziness and emotional lethargy. It really works wonders, and yet I hate it, because I can't use it at will.
It also shows up in boxing strangely enough, I think and box, calmly; no thoughts, no preoccupations, just boxing.
I'm going to try to apply for A.D.D medication, some Ritalin or something. I have no idea how, it would need a doctor's prescription, so I'm looking at a check-up or something, ugh. I wonder how medical insurance factors into this, since I don't have any.
*Notes (topics I want to jot down so I don't forget, I came up with some during this writing piece)
-Obama's health care reform
-When is it good to be arrogant or conceited, is it necessary? Can you always really be the nice guy?
-Things I'll do in the next year or so~ Get a tattoo, a license, a car, try to relearn Java, etc (mind got sidetracked, forgot the rest, lol)