Varrock, 34 Novtumber 169
The widely-accepted Theory of Evolution of Combat has come under fire from fundamentalist Saradominists, who seek to introduce what they call an "alternative theory" to Gielinor's Combat Academies.
"There are a lot of things Evolution of Combat can't explain," said Geoffrey Quack, a representative. "For example, if blue crabs evolved from heim crabs, why are heim crabs still around? And it can't be a coincidence that the banana is the perfect size and shape to fit in a fruit bat pouch."
"We just want equal time," continued Quack. "We believe Intelligent Design of Combat is a valid alternative explanation, and it's time our schools recognized this."
Lady Deathknell, headmistress of Lumbridge's famed Combat Academy and vocal advocate of the Evolution of Combat, was unavailable for comment.