Ardougne, 24 Moevyng 170
The earth trembled today as the great god Guthix, one of the most powerful beings in the known universe, was roused from a centuries-long slumber. It quickly stopped trembling, as Guthix immediately went back to sleep.
According to witnesses, Guthix, responsible for singlehandedly ending the God Wars that nearly destroyed the world, did proclaim unto his followers: "Just ten more minutes, mommy."
"He also said something about needing his rest, and that the cabbage alarm went off too early," said Thaerisk Cemphier, a close follower of the God of Balance who was present at the scene. "At least, that's what we think. He was sort of mumbling, so it was hard to make out."
Almost immediately after the event, representatives of Azzanadra held a press conference advocating dumping a bucket of ice water on Guthix's head.
When asked why he didn't just set his alarm slightly later, or go to bed slightly earlier, Guthix replied, "Zzzzzzzzzzz [snort] [smacking noise] zzzzzzz." More as the story unfolds.