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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal - 3


Alg

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Lateness half because of class stuff and half because I had to wait until morning for something. Being able to catch ELFs now will do that.

 

Same strong language warning as last time. I'd also recommend skipping this one if you're a Buddhist. Don't ask.

[spoiler=But first, the tutorial]

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Why does everybody want me to grasp things? I mean, I know what kind of game this is, but still...

 

I said no to his polite offer.

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But of course, the language barrier is still an issue.

 

Anyway, I can catch things now.

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BUT WHAT IS LAP?

Perhaps the next image will tell us!

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...I'll be honest, I'm not sure what's going on here so I'm just going to keep hitting Z until things make sense.

 

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Better, but maybe it'll...

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Nope.

 

After that, I caught this:

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Because you jerks forced me to pick the grass ELF and I'm going to need him.

 

And our first MONSTER COACH battle!

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Is also broken. Try again later.

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He and I have very different definitions of "win".

 

Another catch:

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Scor... what? Scorpion? Scorecard? Scorsese?

 

And another COACH:

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I know I took this screenshot for a reason but I can't for the life of me remember what. Ah well.

 

Phone call from MUM, who forgot her child's sex

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And now we've come to the reason I had to wait until morning to play this.

 

That reason is...

 

BEAR

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"But Alg," you might ask, "What makes BEAR so special?"

The answer?

...

Well, it's a bear. What do you want me to say? Does your ELF party have a bear in it?

 

Thought so.

*cough*

MOVING ON

 

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BM tower? What do you think they do here? I asked a nearby person,

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I wish I was making this up. I really do.

 

Ah well, Buddhists are usually nice, right?

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See? They're not going to destroy the tower, they're...

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...Oh. Oh god. What have I gotten myself into?

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Several minutes of combat later...

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I apparently needed that.

 

And PEDAL has apparently been hiding a few things from me. I'll let the image speak for itself.

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More Buddhists approached.

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Or were they Airbenders...?

 

 

But of course, BEAR fought back in the manliest way possible.

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SCRAAH!

 

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Then Delan got envolved and I stopped trying to make sense of things

 

And I made it to the top of the tower and...

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And... You know what? I just don't know anymore. I really don't.

 

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BEAR was outmatched, so I sent her to the pillory. Not even an hour into the game and I've crossed the moral event horizon.

 

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HEHE

 

I encountered ??? again at the top. He didn't want to reveal his name to the audience,

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But he did reveal a... fetish?

 

Anyway, I won against the lone Presbyterian in a tower of Buddhists

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And I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hell for this.

 

 

The game is starting to pick up! ...In a way that's only been mildly offensive so far.

 

Those last two words scare me.

 

This is butts, reporting out.

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