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Shaped like itself.

Entries in this blog

 

One-shot: Pokemon Glazed Nuzlocke

Pokemon rom hacks tend to be a mixed bag. You have gems that could very well hold their own against official releases directly alongside grindfesty bad fanfiction. This one... I have no idea where it will fall.   Naturally, I decided to Nuzlocke it blind, because what could possibly go wrong?   I played about... 30 minutes? of it before taking screenshots, so this will start past the annoying swampy bit at the beginning.   By the way, the first major area was an annoying swampy bit, featuring no

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 5

Well, here it is. The last chapter of this mess of a hack, and I guarantee that it will have a satisfying ending. And if it doesn't... Well, I actually made a video of the last bit. That's something, right?   [spoiler=END OF POKEMON GSC] We left off here, after my lazy ass failed to get the badge on Thursday. He lifts rocks for exercise, of course. This island used to be filled with water and ice. And he clearly had nothing to do with that, right? Do I ever   Look at that man's magnifice

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Kanto 4

You know what? To make up for only getting one badge last time, I'm going to hit three gyms in this part. Three. In addition to enough double entendres to... I dunno, something borderline offensive.   [spoiler=RACE TO THE FINISH] But first, a roadblock. And I kind of forgot to get the radio card the first time around. Backtracking!   Luckily, I know where to get it. Sounds... Harmless? Sounds like me. She can't be all bad, then. Unless she uses humor to hide crippling insecuriDID I JUST SA

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Kanto 3

You know how I said BADGES at the end of the last part? The plot had other Ideas. I'm just going to get one. And then throw a ton of out-of-context quotes at you. Enjoy!   [spoiler=PLOTBERG] Right... Nobody's in the gym. Lazy bastards.   There's stuff over here I can do, though. Luckily, I have my SAW left over from the last part!   No context available.   ...   Moving on! Confession: I'll admit that I love this use of "many".   "Yes, that's right! Pay them! And then the money electrocut

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Kanto 2

Part 2! For the full experience, reread part 1 just before this, because that's how the gameplay worked. The joys of having to replay each part, with absolutely no negative consequences to each- Oh shit   [spoiler=Join us for tonight's episode of: 'Will it crash?'] Spoilers: it didn't. But I'm still not touching the item bag for a while. And here's a bonus thing, because you guys have been good.   Anyway, back on the rails, where we meet... YED's evolution, the dreaded YEDE   The gym has a t

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Kanto 1

It's 2014. I wanted to wait a week or two, but Erika had other ideas. So here it is, season 2 of Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal. Wherein Alg explores Kanto, wins eight more BUDGES, and finally, earns the title of "[wagon]". And worst of all, I'm on my own   [spoiler=I'M ON A BOAT] I start the season in the same spot as I started the last one. My house. Except that the call knows where I live. Back to work...   It's literally 10 feet from my house. He could have come in person.   Yaay, presents!

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Alg Plays: The Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal Finale

Not much to say. This is it.   [spoiler=FOUR EMPERORS] This is what my team looks like now. It's not good enough, so I spent about an hour grinding.   And more than a few mons needed ENVOLVING   This item was incredibly useful, because have you ever tried to train a Dratini in a cave filled with selfdestructing GELU and confuse ray-ing GELU? It's terrible. I saw this screen so many times that it made my eyes bleed. They started mocking me for it! Even the old man got in on it!   So I quit

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 15

Remember that test I kept mentioning earlier? Here it is. Except I'm the one that has to take it   [spoiler=It goes something like this] This was a lot like what happened when I took the SAT, down to the confusion and the cave filled with dragons.   I may have also played with VBA's settings to change the color a bit. Just for reference   Luckily, the examiner arrived to take me to the testing location. A house, surrounded by trees, in an underground lake. The usual place for test-taking in A

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 14

With this, our journey approaches its end. In this chapter, I complete the game's main story and claim the eighth BUDGE for myself.   Little did I know, things would only get harder from there [spoiler=STOP BEING SUCH A BABY ALG] They must mean me, by virtue of being the player character It is my destiny to marry the water army.   There's absolutely no chance of this showing up later.   Their jobs are kind of redundant, what with these MONSTERS being gods and all.   Anyway, here the

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 13

As with all ELF MONATER games, The plot happens after the seventh BUDGE. In this game, that means that MISSILE BOMB attacks the RADIO TOWER, in an event that probably should not be in a kid's game   [spoiler=HOW THE MISSILE BOMB STOLE CHRISTMAS] This tower is filled with the worst criminals that the iELF'S WORLD has to offer, all gathered in one place solely to engage in an orgy of crime, like some kind of evildoer's convention. It sickens me.   Damn it, Pulin, terrorism is not a joke!   I ca

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 12

Twelve! It's some kind of milestone or something! And once again, a glitch breaks my save!   Wait, what?   [spoiler=I wasn't supposed to tell you that] We start our journey with another curator, Pryce. Or as the game calls him, MR.LIU, WILLOW, AND GMLTE'WID One of these lines is more suspect than the others.   ...Something. Didn't get the picture. Badass.   Alright, pretty easy so far, just need to... Huh?   Let's try that again... Okay...   That didn't work either.   Third time's

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 11

I don't like this part of the game for some reason, and my reasons are most likely petty and irrational. Luckily for me, this time I had many things to make it tolerable, if not enjoyable. In order: 1: Funny dialogue 2: New and fun team members 3: The ability to speed past the boring parts 4: A highly inspirational soundtrack of Queen and ballet.   Without further ado! [spoiler=DON'T STOP ME NOOOOW] Wheat grinding.   The RAGE LAKE contains plot, so yes.   It also contains ELFS I didn't even

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 10

With not one, but TWO budges! As with most Elf Monster games, the pace really picks up after the fourth.   [spoiler=The title is supposed to be funny!] Remember how I forgot to pick up the strength HM? That's resolved. Now we can move on.   By which I mean fight this thing Which is not, in any way, a cow. Completely different phyla, there.   As this is an ocean route in a Pokemon game, there were Tentacool. I took the opportunity to replace MALI With JELLY.   She's going to have a long and fr

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 9

I'm going to keep score in this part. The game gets a point for every translation that confuses the hell out of me, I get a point for every glitch.   [spoiler=Which will break first - The Game or Alg?] I start the night with some GRINDING in nearby Y HILL. Wait, Y-Hill? How does that- Ah to hell with it.   Wherein Alg finds a better replacement for WUY, and begins a revolving door of Water Elfs. ...By which I mean dry elfs. I shouldn't have assumed, sorry.   Anyway, the grinding. Against LID

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 8 - spooooky Halloween edition!

OoooOOOOoOOoooo!   IN THIS PART: I use some pot, encounter the WATER ARMY, and gain a budge that may or may not actually exist. And also get to be about halfway through the gyms. That's something, right?   As the title suggests, this part is going to be scarier than the others. There will be ghosts. There will be monsters. There will be monks. Be wary. Dead men tell no tales. [spoiler=Here there be ghosts] Moving trees. Yep. Must be the wind. Definitely the wind.   Okay it's not the wind.   L

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 7

After much experimenting! By which I mean I kind of played with the Universal Randomizer and kind of got rid of trade evolutions. So, if I so choose, I can envolve things. I'm genuinely surprised that it worked, to be honest, considering that using metronome killed my save. Clearly, that's a problem for another day; one that I couldn't possibly regret.   And it's definitely not cheating!   Anyway, here it is, fresh from the dry cleaner: [spoiler=HELL-COW] I'm going to need to grind. Luckily, the

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 6

This is going to be a long one, wherein I obtain another budge, reveal the name of the rival, and then talk to some more birds!   [spoiler=ELF WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE TRASH] But first, my party was looking fairly light. I needed SUPPORT. I needed COVERAGE! I needed SOMETHING THAT WOULDN'T DIE THE MINUTE A BIRD OR FIRE ELF LOOKED AT IT FUNNY!   I found this thing. Eh, close enough.   Now let's just prepare a hugeball and... Change of plans, I have to see if i can catch it in nothing.   H

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal: Part 5: Part 2: 60% More Colons:

You thought this was dead, didn't you!? NOTHING CAN KILL THE SUCCESSOR OF ELF! WAHAHAHAHAha-*cough*   I'm sorry, I'll try to be serious from now on.   So after a long and hard few minutes of research, and then a few more minutes of playing the game, I've started over. Then I got to roughly where I was before. Then, I went farther. This is the result of that excursion. This is Vietnamese Crystal Part 5... The Lost Chapter.   But first, here's some stuff that happened before! little strawberry me

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal - 5

I'm having a hard time trying to come up with a snappy intro and title, so let's just go right into it. It's shorter than usual, for reasons that will soon become clear. [spoiler=CAPTAIN DEKE AND THE B-FLYS] So I did some grinding after that. DELAN is now B-FLY... And as soon as I get access to the name changer, I'm changing that. DELAN FOREVER   But enough about that. Making my way south, toward the next city, Meeting new and interesting people, ...Learning that BEAR kind of sucks,   and at

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal 4

I don't like how this is dominating the blog section, but everyone keeps bugging me about it.   Speaking of which, a certain bug gets to do some awesome, while I slowly lose my sanity!   [spoiler=Side Effects Include Delusions of Godhood] The... Monster Player. I'm ready for this.   Right?   RIGHT?   Nah, [bleep] that I want to talk to some random people. That's what this game is really about.   In the original games, this guy speaks in broken English. In this bootleg... I think that's the cl

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal - 3

Lateness half because of class stuff and half because I had to wait until morning for something. Being able to catch ELFs now will do that.   Same strong language warning as last time. I'd also recommend skipping this one if you're a Buddhist. Don't ask. [spoiler=But first, the tutorial] Why does everybody want me to grasp things? I mean, I know what kind of game this is, but still...   I said no to his polite offer. But of course, the language barrier is still an issue.   Anyway, I can catch

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal - 2

What did I pick?   Ah who am I kidding, the poll wasn't even close.   Believe it or not, there's some pretty strong language in here. Strong as in "I have no idea whether or not they'll let me get away with this". I'm not joking, if you're the kind of person that's not a fan of that sort of thing, this is not the entry for you. If you are, then, well... Have fun! [spoiler=The Adventures of...] QIAOK!     With that, I was given my quest: visit the MONSTER GRANDFATHER and find out what he discov

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Alg Plays: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal - 1

What happens when a bootleg game goes through three or four translations? Nothing good, of course, which is a good thing. Does that make sense? No? Good, because I'm playing through one such example of that translation and I'd like the rest of you to be just as confused, disturbed, and amused as I am.   Without further ado:   [spoiler=WELCOME TO ELF" S WORLD] Ah... The age old question. With such an obvious answer. Now that that's settled, let's get this translation train wreck on the road!  

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[Leaked] New Jagex Merchandise

This is a draft of something that was to be published next week. Don't ask how I got it, I had to do a lot of things I'm not proud of for this copy.  

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[untitled]

So I'm walking around doing what I do best and I notice something. A slight glimmer by a nearby pond, too perfectly shaped and clear to be natural. It's a small glass bottle. As I pick it up I wonder why someone would just throw out such a useful item. At this point it wasn't the pollution that bothered me so much as the wastefulness of the act itself. The bottle was, aside from some muck from the pond and a bit of dirt that dried on it, perfectly usable. The inside was pretty clean too, but I f

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