Call it a quest if you like, call it even a call to duty. I think we'll stick with quest as that has a nice undertone of irony through it. Anyway, it became, once, my duty, quest, mission, to prove just how damn awful Runescape is. Now, a lot of people would say that I was ignorant, that I only disliked Runescape because I hadn't experienced it for myself. This would be wrong; I did once try Runescape, but I didn't get past 'Tutorial Island' (Noobland). But just to shut up the naysayers for good, I had another go, going in absolutely determined not to like it (evidently I wasn't intending to be biased at all). Having finally managed to get through Noobland, after being taught, several times, a lot of things I knew already, I found myself in the wide and wonderful Runescape world. I celebrated this by killing a cow, but only a small one, as I didn't feel very confident. I wandered around for a while and found myself in the woods around a house. I finally found my way out only to be sent on a 'quest' to go back in and find some woman's lost friend. This sounded alright; first quest, nothing too difficult. I found my way into a cellar, where I poked a coffin and got killed by a vampire. I lost all the items I'd been given, even the cabbages I'd skillfully picked amidst my aimless wandering. In a bid to shake off my anger, I attacked a duck. I shot 25 arrows at it and hit it three times. In the end, I ran out of arrows. The duck said 'Quack'. Ducks do not say 'quack'. They make honking noises. Does your dog say 'woof'? No. It barks. Having run out of arrows, I instead ran into a gremlin, whom I killed. I buried his bones for prayer points. It was at this point that I discovered how to level up my abilities; by repeatedly doing the same thing over and over again, a good example being burying bones for prayer points. I couldn't help thinking that this was ridiculously tedious. Eventually, I died again. I found myself in a town. Someone tried to trade with me. I offered him my bow. He was not impressed, and so I ran away. I found myself in a graveyard. Lacking the will to go on, I tried dancing on the graves in a bid to awaken the dead and get killed, perhaps permanently this time. As I had expected, this didn't work. Instead, the guy from earlier reappeared and tried to trade with me again. I ran away again, only to reach the boundaries of the world, i.e. a big fence. I told my character to cry and then went off to cry myself. I haven't been on Runescape again since. I'm afraid of kicking my computer screen in. Ah well, I never liked the game in the first place. (igeebay.com from)
