Gaalsien

Whoa whoa whoa. I think you mean GO GAALSIEN

Security was seriously tightened in Falador. The situation at the gates was repeated throughout the city; once on the bridge into the white knightÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s castle; again before entering the keep, and a final, thorough search at the door of Sir VarzeÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s chamber. My sword was removed and Winter was told to wait outside. The room beyond into which I was sent was small and dimly lit. A round central table seated a group of armour-clad men at the central table, who talked in hushed voices. A grim and secretive air hung over everything. The knights looked up as I entered, seemed to deem me worthy of no more attention than that, and returned to their council. Only the man seated at the head of the table rose. He was immediately recognisable as Varze. Though now an old man, he still bore the proud, imposing bearing of a Knight. Crossing the room, he extended a hand, which I shook, trying not to grin stupidly. HeÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢d been somewhat of a legend in his time. Some still regarded him as being the greatest swordsman alive. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅGlad to have you here so soon,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

We need a better name than Winter. Other ideas are Spring, Summer, Autumn, Death_incarnatinator, or Jebs. Chapter I Stopped Counting Long Ago The darkening hillside was lit by the flames of another fire bolt. A wave of heat fought for a moment against the cool evening breeze. The n00b paused. As the fireworks above her head dispersed and faded, she swayed unsteadily on feet, clutched at her head, and groaned. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅYou OK?ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

You get paid for constructive criticism, not kissing [wagon].

Do you think we should fit Zaros into it somewhere and then kill him? Also, Smoke, you need to add the /s back in to your sig at the end.

Err, whut? Buy other people's ideas?

The next chapter is completed by the way, Mr France, if that is your real name. Just going to try this before I go, hope it works. Sweet. It worked. I think. Mr French, if you replace your banner with this: http://img144.imageshack.us/img144/650/bumbersticker1tu.png But with // things installed, then it acts as a link to the story thread. Pretty neato, eh?

I wrote that line! I just thought it was so adorable. Anyway, Smokeeagle's in France at the moment, so in his absence, I can finally turn this series into what it was origonally intended to be: a freaking huge orgy of blood, guts, and orgies. Anyway, I've decided to offer 1k to anybody who writes an intelligent review and 10k to anybody who actually gives one which helps us to improve at writing and the storyline. Anybody who uses l33t in their review must pay me. j/k

(Anybody who writes a good, intelligent review can claim between 1k and 20k, depending on how helpful the review is at improving the writing.) I wanted Gaal and Smoke 2: the Return of the Gaal or where there's Smoke there's Gaal but meh. It's sub-parificic Chapter One Anyway, on with the story. The first few chapters are written by me so aren't very humourous. But we have to give the story at least some dignity first. I reached the edge of the forest and dropped to the floor, crawling forwards on my belly through the dry, brown grass until I reached a place where I had an adequate view of the entire banana plantation and could see down all of the neatly-grown rows. It all seemed still but tonights full-moon was creating long, dark shadows between the banana trees in which anything could be hiding. Meh. Rising into a crouch, I descended the hill, crossed the path and pressed myself against the security fence that skirted the plantation. I held my breath and peeled my ears. A minute passed - it seemed clear. Cupping my mouth with my hands, I did a fairly good imitation of a monkey. There was a rustling and the foliage of the forest parted, dispensing a young woman. She struggled noisily to free herself from some vines and then scurried towards me. At the footpath, she tripped over her own foot and exclaimed a loud ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅOWW!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Oh.....that was some sort of insult. I see. Hey, Smoke, what a gniyonna elttil yboon tawt. Thanks Blipo.

Fairly good indicator. That's the worst excuse I've ever heard. Hey, I just saw beyond what you wrote. I have therefore replied positively. No, I don't mind criticism. I don't like insults or noobs.

Oh, I see. It was a bid for attention. But obviously you cant get attention through being intelligent so you get it through stupidity. Hey, everybody look at this guy! He's an idiot! Wow! How amazing! Happy now?

Eep. Double post. Don't kill me!!

We reached the mind shrine later that day, hidden away in the middle of nowhere within the ruins of an old building. It stood just on the edge of the wilderness and we had an opportunity of seeing the wall close up. It looked like foot thick ice. An mass of scaly bodies clawed at it from the other side. Smokeeagle hefted a rock at the army of red. It passed through the wall and hit a demon in the face. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅHa. Stupid noobs.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Nect chapter: I get a hug!

Apparently, I left out a chapter. Its been reinserted (lol) so, if you want, you can check back and the story will probably make sense then.

They go out for a piss-up and OD on wizard mind-bombs? The wizard mind-bombs, having mind-expanding properties, expand their minds?

Although I'm not co-writing this one. It's completely his fault, err, i mean story.

You could mention that as the children become more and more savage the beast grows stronger. First, only one person believes in it, then more do, eventually it gets a physical form in the pigs head. 'The game that the boys play causes the boys to act more like savages.' sould be 'the game that the boys play causes them to act more like savages. You could also say how the island itself seems to become more corrupt as the children do; appearing as a paradise when they are civilised but growing darker and more menacing as they grow more savage, its eventual burning showing the destructive nature within the boys by the end. Golding seems to say that being civilized is learnt from society as the little'uns, who have been in society less than the older ones, are the first to act like animals. There is also the loss of individuality: the twins start off as Sam and Eric, becoming Sam n' Eric, becoming Samneric. I think Simon represents reason, Piggy represents knowledge, and the conch represents order, and these are all destroyed by the savagery within man by the end. Hope that helps.

OK, so, intelligent dialogue and character development we need to work on. That's actually quite helpful, thanks. No idea how the characters will develope or get smart enough for intelligent dialoue. May have to add some more characters.

Peering into the mist, I could make out a figure staggering towards us, finally I could make out the figure of Rose, in one hand she was carrying what looked like a whole chicken and in the other the largest tankard of ale I had ever seen; it was more like the whole ale barrel. Turning towards me, our eyes met. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅOh.ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

I'm sorry to inform you that Smokeeagle is now unable to visit forums due to the suckyness of his computer and the fastness of his broadband, which when combined, have filled his computer with viruses. ---------------------- Opening the door, we stepped into a small, torch lit stone room that contained numerous swords, shields and a huge stone table in the middle on which lay a scrabble board. Making my way towards it, I helped Smoke sit on one of the chairs. He attempted to stem the huge amount of bleeding by consuming a pie. Realising that this wouldnÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t work, he closed his eyes and began to chant softly. Leaving him to his devices, I took a look around the room and saw a few faded black-and-white portraits of two young men and a sheep standing side-by-side, huge cheesy grins on their faces. At their feet lay a slain greater demon. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅHello youngster,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

After several days of aimless wandering, we finally reached Edgeville. "That didn't take that long" said Smoke cheerfully, "Yeah. You must be pretty proud of yourself." He smirked at me. "Stay here" I said firmly, " I just need to look in my bank account" Smoke nodded solemnly, "It's not as if I can get lost in this place" "Y'know, I'm pretty sure you'd manage it." Walking the few feet towards the bank, I asked the teller to open my account. One question was playing on my mind. "How do you get my stuff here so fast?" I enquired The teller gave me a suspicious look "Well. I could tell youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" he said, glowering over the desk "OhÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ good" "ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâæBut then I'd have to kill you," he finished. "Err, never mind then" Pulling open the drawer, I withdrew all the runes I had and a quiver of arrows that had cobwebs strung amongst them. I smiled grimly; the rust on these puppies could give me the edge in combat. I doubted that demons would be immune to rust poisoning. Putting the runes in a small leather satchel, I slung the quiver over my shoulder and left the bank, walking over to SmokeEagle, who was looking out across the town. Hearing me approach he looked up. I handed him the satchel. "Thanks!" he grinned, pocketing the runes, "Where'd you get these?" "Oh, I tried to learn magic a while ago. Got bored after a week though," I replied. "So. Now where?" He looked up and pointed to a squat, grey stone castle, surrounded by a shallow, murky brown moat that wouldn't have stopped a determined child, and with an old, rusted drawbridge. It had been built on the very edge of the safe lands. Straining my eyes, I could make out a large wooden sign hanging above the drawbridge. "Grandma Smilie's Retirement Castle for the Youthful Impaired?" I read. "That's our place." "You're kidding, right?" ---------------- At first, as we approached the counter, it looked as though it was empty. But then, what I had taken to be a big, white wall behind it turned around and stared down at us. The nurse was over seven foot tall and almost as wide, with such an impressive bust that she was almost a perfect cube. Her name tag read 'Hello, my name is HELGA'. Perched ontop of this huge mountain was a head: a rather flat one, with a pair of suspicious, watery-blue eyes; a gash for a mouth filled with tombstone teeth; and a mass of butter-yellow curls on the top. "Ya?" Looking over at SmokeEagle, I saw that his mouth had dropped open and elbowed him. He jumped and struggled with his glove. "Um...yeah....hi.......we're looking for a, um, Mr Popeye, Derek, and Colin." The suspicion in Helga's eyes deepened to dangerous levels. "Vie? You not be taking them on quest, yes?ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

Well, they seem to get more talented the more they get resurected so I guess the god just keep giving them morew talent each time to make sure they don't mess up.

It didn't take long for SmokeEagle to get us lost; "Don't tell me we're lost?" I moaned as we marched through a forest. "No, no we're not lost!" said Smoke haughtily. "You just don't know where we are?" "Yep. That pretty much sums it up" "ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâæRightÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" How the hell had we ended up in a wood anyway? One minute Falador, the next a remote wood miles from nowhere. That didn't make sense. That wasn't even physically possible. Even a woman couldn't have that bad a sense of direction. Maybe he was planning on killing me in this wood whilst I sleptÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ. I contemplated stabbing him in the back and then feasting on his brains for sustenance but a) it'd hardly be a mouthful and B) it was too cold and I couldn't be bothered. We continued walking for a bit until it began to snow again. We both stopped and shivered. "If it's any consolation, Smoke, I'd rather be wearing that nice warm priests robe than this freezing rune armourÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" "Really?" "No." He scowled at me "Shut up and help me light a fire" "RightÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ need any help cutting down that tree?" "No." "OkÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ suit yourself" A few moments passed, "Are you laughing at me?" "No, why?" "I heard something sounding awfully like laughter" "Must have been the windÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" "OhÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ suppose so" By the time he had succeeded in chopping down the tree, one of my legs was going blue, I couldn't feel my nose and my rune armour was frosted up. Holding his prize, he turned to me and grinned. I noticed that he had several icicles forming from his goatee. "Want me to light the fire?" "YeahÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæyou'd better. My fingers are in danger of dropping off." Now, anyone who knows me will remember that I have spent HOURS improving my fire making skill, so I promptly set around making a blazing inferno from two rocks and a glass of water. SmokeEagle coughed. "Yes?" I asked. "All rightÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ no need to show offÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" he grunted, settling down by the side of the fire. I simply grinned and moved in closer, warming my hands from the heat. "Oh, thank Zamorak" I sighed. I expected SmokeEagle to spout out some religious objection but strangely he didn't reply. When I looked up, he had a strange grin on his face and it wasn't surprised this time around. It was happy. Astounded by this new show of emotion, I turned around saw why: a woman step into the circle of firelight. I believe a large, stupid grin appeared on my face at that point. She was about sixteen,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæwell built, with a cascade of flowing dark hair silhouetted against the snowy forest. I also noted that the leather clothing she was wearing could've been made by the skinning of a single hamster. How she hadn't died of hypothermia vaguely crossed my mind. "ErÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ hello" I said, standing up to greet her. SmokeEagle attempted to stand up, but the huge volumes of ice that had formed on his robe made it impossible. "W-w-would you, um, like to share my fire?" Smiling sweetly, she took a seat in the snow infront of the fire. I sat next to Smoke and whispered to him; "Cor blimey! Look at those two, huge, gleaming well oiled, nicely formedÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" "ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâæAxes?" I stared at him. "ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâæYeah, something like thatÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" Seeing us talking, the barbarian girl smiled again. "I l-like your t-teeth," I stuttered. "Thank you," she laughed, and her Voice was a choir of angels to me. "SoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ what brings you out here?" asked Smoke suspiciously. "Oh, nothing much. Just killing thingsÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" she replied. I nodded understanding. "Yeah, thought so" he said quietly, returning to sharpening his sword. "Well, we're on some major big quest for the gods!" I blurted out stupidly, urgent to impress before these two started to talk properly. "Oh really?" she replied, turning to Smoke and giggling. "Oi!" "What?" "Were you making fun of me?" "NoÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ of course not" "Then what're those weird circular motions near you head?" "OhÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ ermÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ swatting flies?" "By the way, let me let you in on a secret" she whispered. "Yeah?" I asked, edging closer "Well, I can make your armour and weapons twice as strong. And I'll do it for free" "Really? How?" "Well, you see, you give it all to me. Then I run over there, mutter the magic words and it'll get instantly, um, twice as good.." "Cool!" "Call me an idiot, but I have a sneaking suspicion that she's trying to scam usÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" said Smoke looking up from his sword. "Me? Scam you?" the girl smiled sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes. "Yeah! Don't be absurd!" I exclaimed. "Don't tell me I didn't warn youÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ" he sighed, returning to the fire. "So? Let's do it!" I shouted. The barbarian just smiled. -------- Strangely, 'over there' was by a cart and the magic words seemed to be "Let's get the hell outta here! To the village! Quick!" Leaving me there, standing in the cold, staring forlornly out into the dark, empty wood, in nothing but my spotted undies. "Very nice," Smoke. "Shut up." "I warned you? Didn't I warn you?" "Shut up! She's coming back!" It's quite possible I was in denial. SmokeEagle laid a comiserative hand on my shoulder. "Face it, man. She scammed you. Now let's get after her while the tracks are still fresh." Grabbing a burning branch from the fire, he marched off into the woods. I wiped a lone, frozen tear from my cheek, and followed. Ok, the next chapter's a long one so you may want to go get a drink, food, sleeping bags, etc now. "Wow. This has to be the warmest robe ever." "S-s-s-shut-t-t-t th-th-the h-hell up-p-p-p." "In a way, it's justice. Now you can see what it's like to have something of high value stolen," he continued. "D-didn't I j-just s-s-say s-shut-t th-t-the h-hell up?" Following the tracks, we eventually came out of the woods, onto a sludge-filled dirt track. The trail was lost but a short way up the track began a slope, on top of which stood a village. It consisted of about twenty, crudely built huts and was patrolled by men and women in leather. Even from this distance, I could hear the sound of many drunken voices raised in song. It was quite obviously barbarian village. "If thou wish to keep your kneecaps where the gods put them you should drop your weapons and turn around, slowly." We turned. A barbarian had snuck up behind us and was now waving a steel dagger at us. SmokeEagle looked the man's full leather armour up and down. "Yeah, we're going to need your clothes," he said. "Wh-what kinda weird-?" "Your clothes. Take them off, please." "Hey, I'm giving the orders here! You're not even armed!...oh." SmokeEagle had drawn his sword from the folds of his robes. I had unearthed a small oak tree and was now wielding it as a club. The barbarian looked at us with a puzzled grin on his face. Smoke broke into a smile, "Toni?" he laughed, sheathing his sword, "It's been a while..." Toni grinned, or he might have grinned; all I saw was a small movement of his huge beard. "Smokey!" exclaimed the barbarian, "Nice to see you. Ready to pick up where we left off last time?" Smoke smiled; "I seem to remember that I had you in a headlock and a knife to your throat," he chuckled. Toni extended his hand, "No hard feelings, eh?" "No, none at all..." The barbarian folded up without a sound. Smoke removed a small dagger from between the man's ribs. "Bit harsh, weren't you?" I asked. "Nah, he'll be ok in ten minutes," he replied "he's a tough bloke..." "But still..." "You need the clothes anyway" "I suppose..." "Get stripping him" "Do I have to?" "Yes." "But he smells something awful!" "Tough." ".....fine, but if anybody sees us we'll have to kill them." "Agreed." ------ "How are they?" SmokeEagle asked, as we climbed the hill to Barbarian village. "Other than being totally noobtacular," I said, pulling on the soft leather shirt. "They fit pretty well. I guess that guy wasn't as fat as he looked. Who was he anyway?" ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅAh, just the guy who owned the barÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ