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king_duffman

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Posts posted by king_duffman

  1. my official list of "yo momma" jokes

     

     

     

    enjoy

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she gets stuck in her dreams

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she uses the swimming pool as a toilet

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she uses a basketball as a hackey sack

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she keeps her extra change in one of her folds

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when yo' daddy makes love to her, he never makes love to the same fold twice

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, NASA hauls her to the top of a tower, pushes her off, she falls 300 feet, hits a board and launches the space shuttle...

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she says her job title is Spoon and Fork Operator

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she put on a gray dress, and an admiral boarded her

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up, and her height doesn't change

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she's taller lying down

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she works at the theater, she works as the screen

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first perpetual motion machine

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when I said I wanted 'pigs in a blanket', she got back in bed

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her five YEARS to live

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she could sell shade

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her *ss has its own congressman

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to the circus, she sees the big top and asks, "Where can I try that on?

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said, "Sorry, we don't do curtains

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to the circus, she takes up all the rings

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she leaves the beach, everybody shouts, "The coast is clear

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she went on a light diet...as soon as it's light, she starts eating

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she went on a seafood diet...whenever she saw food, she ate it

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she bends over, we go into daylight savings time

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half French

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my *ss on the light bulb

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion

     

     

     

    Yo' momma' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she comes down the stairs, she measures on the Richter scale

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks down the street, everyone yells "Earthquake

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she FILLS UP the tub

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, they're going to use her to fill that hole in the ozone layer

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, she jumped in the ocean, and the whales started singing, "We are family

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, she plays pool with the planets

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she uses the carpet as a blanket

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she made Richard Simmons cry

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, kids think it's the school bus

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears a purple sweater, people call her "Barney"

     

     

     

    Yo' momma is so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs cover her feet like a blanket

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought she was American Airlines' biggest jet

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, if she were an airplane, she'd be a jumbo jet

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she was lifting up her rolls, and a car fell out

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill three cows just to make her a pair of shoes

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seat belts

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her belly-button's got an echo

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's got so many rings around her belly, she screws her underwear on

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she roller skates on busses

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she uses bowling balls for earrings

     

     

     

    Yo' momma lost at hide n' seek when I spotted her behind the Himalayas

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she backs up, she beeps

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she has to use a VCR as a beeper

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she has a refrigerator strapped to her waist, and it looks like a pager

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her nickname is "DAMN

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, people jog around her for exercise

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, I have to take a plane, a train, and an automobile just to get on her good side

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when you get on top of her, your ears pop

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she has sex, she has to give directions

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, yo' daddy's idea of foreplay is setting up the on-ramps

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, you haveta roll over twice to get off her

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, "Okay

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she orders everything on the menu, including "Thank You, Come Again"

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, the sign outside one restaurant says 'Maximum occupancy, 512, or YO' MOMMA

     

     

     

    ' Yo' momma's so fat, when she wore a yellow raincoat, people said, "Taxi

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a sign that said, "Caution

     

     

     

    Wide Turn

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she stands in a left-turn lane, it gives her the green arrow

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for their new world

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when Scorpion did the harpoon throw on her, he got arrested for whaling

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she lies on the beach, no one else gets sun

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her shoes have to have license plates

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she went to Sea World, she came out with a paycheck

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, they use her underwear elastic for bungee jumping

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she fell in love and broke it

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210, it was on a scale

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she gets on the scale, it says, "We don't do livestock

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said, "Please step out of the car

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes "New York, L.A., Chicago..." Yo' momma's so fat, even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her legs are like spoiled milk - white and chunky

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and it made a dollar

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, her senior pictures had to be aerial views

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she left the house in high heels and when she came back, she had on flip flops

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she hauls *ss, she has to make two trips

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she hauls *ss, she has friends come help

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, even her clothes have stretch marks

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she has a wooden leg with a kick stand

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, they have to grease the bath tub to get her out

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, you have to grease the door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side just to get her through

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she dances at a concert, the whole band skips

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she runs, she makes the CD player skip...at the radio station

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist, they spelled out "boulevard

     

     

     

    " Yo' momma's so fat, instead of Levi's 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she has her own brand of jeans: FA - Fat *ss Jeans

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans, I swear I smelled something burning

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

     

     

     

    Yo' momma's so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it

  2. nat staffs and stuff like that shoundnt be added cuz else mage'll become a noob skill

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    but combo staves are ok

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    earth + fire = lava staff

     

     

     

    earth + water = mud staff

     

     

     

    earth + air = sandstorm staff

     

     

     

    fire + air = turbulence staff

     

     

     

    fire + water = vapor staff

     

     

     

    air + water = rain staff

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    some of those would be nice (especially fire + air)

  3. not that i use an autotyper but u cant ID one if ure using a GOOD program for it

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    for example:

     

     

     

    autotyper = types it automatically

     

     

     

    letter-changer = u type "xyz" and it changes it to a phrase u typed in the program

     

     

     

    this way it changes the letters on YOUR computer and thuss can nobody find out

     

     

     

    (exepting u got infested by ad-ware and stuff like that)

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