There is nothing else to do so I wanted to see if anyone has any comments on my story

 

 

 

I stand here with a sword in one hand and a shield in the other. My thoughts going in every direction, "Can I go through with this? What will happen if I die? Would I be a bad person if I run? Would I be a bad person if I fight?" all these questions and more but not a single answer. Up ahead I hear the clanging of swords and cries for help. "Its not to late to go back. I can just turn around and run. no one would blame me if I wanted to live. But would it be right leaving my friends to die? I have to at least try. Who knows I might become a great hero. But what is the point of being a hero if I'm not alive to enjoy it? I don't want to die. If I go into battle I won't be able to come back alive. I will run. Anyone smart would do the same.

 

 

 

All of a suddenmy feet started to move on their own. I tried with all my might but couldn't stop. Is this Gods doing? I prayed for mercy from God but my feet kept moving. I am going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. I saw the battle ahead and the ground was covered with the mangled bodies of friends and family. Soon my body will be like theirs.

 

 

 

When I got into the battle I started swinging my sword around uncontrollably killing both friend and foe. Whatever got in my way was cut to pieces but I wasn't doing it. I was being controlled like a puppet. All of a sudden my body froze. I couldn't do anything but watch as a man lifted up his blood soaked sword and brought it down full force. Everything suddenly went from red to black. GAME OVER.

 

 

 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON MY COMPUTER??? IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO GET THAT FAR IN THE GAME, I HAVE TO START ALL OVER BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!! ELIZABETH GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!!!!!"

 

 

 

As my sister ran out of my room frightened as if I might kill her(which was very tempting at the time) I looked angrily at the two words on my computer screen. "Now I have to restart the game because of her! I'm going to have to talk to my parents about having a lock on my door but I guess it doesn't matter, Elizabeth always finds a way to break in."

 

 

 

Just then I heard a bang from the room next to mine and my sister started screaming for mom. "Here it comes" I said. A few minutes later my mother burst into the room in a blind rage, "LUKE, LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO YOUR SISTER!!!!" Elizabeth came into the room crying, apparently when she slammed her face into the wall this time she caused herself to have a black eye. "But I didn't do it! She did it to herself and is trying to blame me like she always does!" "DON'T LIE TO ME I HEARD YOU YELLING AT HER!!!!" "That doesn't mean I punched her!" "SHE TOLD ME THAT AFTER YOU YELLED AT HER YOU PUNCHED HER SO HARD SHE WAS KNOCKED INTO THE WALL!!!!" "Go look in her room! The wall is probably busted where she banged her head!"

 

 

 

When we went to her room I noticed a poster that hadn't been there before and noticed she had moved some of her stuffed animals under it. Her cover-ups were too obvious but, of course, my mother had a horrible record of over looking the obvious. "I see nothing!!!! You are grounded for two months!!!!"

 

 

 

As mom led me to the prison she calls my room I turned and saw Elizabeth smirking at me like she always did. I wanted to wipe that smirk off her face so much that I almost didn't care if my parents saw.

 

 

 

My mother left after she took some computer cords out and yelled at me some more. Right after I was sure she was out of hearing range I pulled my Gameboy out from under my bed and played Zelda for several hours.

 

 

 

After my dad got home I immediatly turned my Gameboy off and hid it in its original spot under the bed. My dad could hear a pin drop from a million miles away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thats all I have so far post any suggestions and/or comments you have for it.

Looks good to me, I'm not a story person though... Oh and there is a Varrock Library section of these forums which would be absolutely perfect for something such as this.

Looks good to me, I'm not a story person though... Oh and there is a Varrock Library section of these forums which would be absolutely perfect for something such as this.

 

 

 

Oh I never relized I'm always on off topic forums.

Will anyone give their comments?

This IS the Varrock Library forum and it totally reminds me of my siblings! lol, locks should be LAW!

DAMIT ALL I CAN"T THINK OF SOMETHING AFTER WHERE I AM NOW!!!! I've plotted several pages out but its missing the part in between where I am and everything else!!!! THIS IS FRUSTRATING!!!!

This IS the Varrock Library forum and it totally reminds me of my siblings! lol, locks should be LAW!

 

 

 

It was moved from Off topic forums. This so far is my weekend but I'm going to make this a sort of fantasy story because I can't stay awake through reading stuff that happens everyday.

No comments?