A Drunkard's Grand Adventure

[Ash6110]

~Well, hello there. I looks as if you could use a good story! And I shall deliver. This is a story of riches, greed, war, betrayal, comedy, tragedy and BEER!

 

 

 

Chapter 1: A beer, a barfight, a murder, and a run in with the police

 

 

 

One fine day in Varrock, a drunkart and tramp named Rupert walked into the Blue Moon Inn. He went up to the Bartender and shouted, "Hey Ted! Get me the usual!" "Okay," the bartender said "But your going to pay this time right?" "Yeah sure whatever." Snorted Rupert. The bartender filled a glass with Ale and gave it to Rupert. Just as Rupert finished his alchoholic beverage, a mean looking Black Arm gang member stormed in. He looked over at Rupert with a glint in his eye and then went to sit down next to him. "Hey, Rupert!!!" He shouted "Where the hell is my money! I lent you out 500 gold 2 months ago and its still not back. And you know what that means?" He smiled devilishly. "No slimeball I dont know what that means: Ruypert shot out. This was to much for the gang member,m he yelled back, "Why you little son of a..." And thebn punched Puert in the face. Now as yoou know Rupert had way to much alchohol in his system to just run away so he took his beer mug and whacked him over the head. The gang member juymped for Rupert, but he was to slow. Rupert had already grabbed his arm, blind in rage and spun the gangster around flinging him into the beer tap. Aggghhhhh, the gangster gripped his neck in pain. This is when rupert struck. He grabbed the ganster, shoved the beer tap into his mouth and turned it on. The he proceeded to push it deeper an deeper into his throat until he went limp. Rupert let go and then he dropped to the ground. A pool of blood started to form at his mouth. THe bartender ran over from the kitchen and shouted, "What the heck.......Holy Saradomin!!!!! you killed him!!!!! Quick we need to get rid of the body, herequick drag it into the kitchen. "I gotta get out of here!" Rupert said. Then he left slamming the door behind him. Outside he was met by two Guards. One said "Stop, your under arrest". They grabbed Rupert, shackled him up and led him to the dungeon.

 

 

 

Chapter 2: Banishment, Bandits, and Bourbon Pie

 

 

 

BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! "Order!!!! ORder!!!!" The king yelled, " The jury has deliberated and the verdict is now clear. Rupert Varze, do you have any last statement before the jury announces its verdict?" "Okay......." Rupert said, "I didn't *hic* do nuthin! In was just enjoyin' me an ale when that half wit came up and punched meh.....*hic*" "Well, Rupert, thats for the jury to decide" The king said, trying to be patient. "The jury has deliberated and we find you guilty of murder, and we sentence you to exile!" You have one day to leave the grand kingdom of Misthalin, then if you come back, you will be killed. "Drats!" Rupert yelled. This was a bad day for Rupert,m as soon as court was dismissed he went down the street near the church to where he slept, packed his dagger, his hoily book, and a bottle of Old Dragonbreath No. 47 Whiskey and headed for the wilderness. Soon long after he entered the wilderness he came across a couple of PKers at a TET Event. OMG your dead!!!!! They said as they hacked away at eachother with there bronze daggers. As one of them, the host of the even was about finish off another bronze clad warrior. he noticed Rupert and shouted "Hey, what the heck is this guy doing here?" Another one added "Lets kill him!" and with that, they proceeded to chase Rupert all around the wilderness attracting more and more tipiters to the chase. Eventually the event ended and everone went home. Rupert was exhausted, he decided it would be best to stop at the bandit village that was nearby. There seemed to be no Pkers there. As he entered town, he saw a stall selling Bourbon Pie. Rupert was famished from his journey and had no money. so he did what low class peons like him do best and stole it. After eating his Bourbon pie Rupert trudged over to the corner of town, unrolled his ground mat and went to sleep. The next morning when he woke up he decided to pack his belongings and head for Falador. Afgain eh walked all day, until he finally found Falador. He walked into town and found an Inn, he asked a servant how much it would cost him to stay in the Inn. "Twelve gold peices a night." she said. Rupert grinned menacingly at the servant and the pulled out his steel dagger. He put her in a headlock and put the knife up to her throat. "I dont think so". He laughed, "I think your going to give me it free!. Just then a fist came flying out of nowhere. BAM!!!. Rupert's knife fell out of his hand and he fell down unconsious.

 

 

 

Chapter 3: Trial, Service, and a BIG suprise

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you took the time to read this, take a few seconds to comment

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Rats...I read the last line and get lumbered with reading the whole thing...

 

 

 

 

 

Where you drunk at the time of writing this(meant in a comedic not offensive way) or just mispelling things for no reason?

 

 

 

Also you have a very Game orientated ending to the second chaper...if it were real then TET would not exist...

 

 

 

And you mispelt intelligence in your profile...

 

 

 

Still it was ok and it will be interesting to see what happens next.

[SirYellowBanana]

Well, i'm no critic, but the misspellings were annoying. Sure we're online, we misspell stuff and really don't care, but anyway. The story was very game oriented, the dialog left much to be desired, multiple exclamation marks should NOT be used in storytelling -.- But intresting nontheless. I will not read on, but intresting.