The Note

[pujolsfan44]

This is my first story and I hope you will think it is good. I wrote a 32 page story in school b4 and got a plus! This story is runescape based so it might sound funny.

 

Treasure Hunt

 

~Chapter 1~

 

The Fake Rune

 

 

 

Today I came home from school at East Varrock High to find a nice cooked lobster sitting at the table with a note from my mother next to it.

 

"Sorry I couldn't be home. Your father has a meeting with his mining company and I had to go to work at the general store. I hope you like the lobster!" The lobster was a great red and I ate it whole in five minutes. After I ate my delicious lunch, I went upstairs to continue writing my project on the history of the Barrows. "So the brothers went to war and they never lost..." Ring!!! I was interrupted from my story and ran downstairs to pick up the phone. "Hello is this Joseph?" said my best friend Oggy. I talked to him and he told me to come to the rune shop. "They're giving out free air runes!" said Oggy. So I rode my bike to my father's friend Aubury's rune shop and met Oggy there. He was waiting in a particularly long line for free runes a I waited behind him. After about ten minutes, me and Oggy were next in line to get runes. Aubury gave Oggy ten air runes and Oggy waited for me outside the small rune shop. "Is it Joseph Kraunton?' said Aubury in his gentle voice. "A pleasure to see you again!" "Oh, hello Mr. Aubury!" replied I. "I heard you were giving out free sample runes today." "Yes I am and heres your free runes!" Aubury handed me ten air runes. "Ever since the Rune Essence was rediscovered ten years ago, runes have been at high demand and price so I feel like giving free runes today since it is King Roald's birthday! (Saradomin bless him!) "Oh ya, i knew that" I lied. I never really cared about King Roald and thought that he was a spoiled person who did nothing whatsoever to the community. I said bye to Aubury and and met Oggy outside. "Well, see ya Joe" said Oggy. "Bye" I replied. When I got home I laid out my runes on the table and studied them. Each one had four curved lines on it except for one. This one was odd and looked like a counterfeit rune(counterfeit runes are rune essence with paint on them). The curved lines were wiggly and it was more brownish than grayish. "What's this?" I said to myself studying the odd rune. I knew that the only way to check if a rune is fake is if you try to cast a spell with it. Since I did not have a staff, all of my spells came out poorly.

[pujolsfan44]

I had a poor 14 mage level while most other kids my age had around 30. I always got F's and D's except for one lone C in magic. So I thought that if this was a real rune, I might not be able to cast a spell with it. I took a chance and tried casting a spell with the rune. I tried really hard and then it came. The rune dissapeared and a purple wave was eminating from my fingers. It was an odd tingly sensation and then it started hurting when the purple waves came together. I thought I was going delirious when I noticed that i was casting this weird spell. Then the tingling sensation lifted and a scroll appeared from thin air. Everyone who went to school knew that only a madly skilled mage could make his own rune. Some people have even killed theirselves trying. I grabbed the scroll off the living room table where it landed and read it. "Go past the yard of death N.E. ten paces. Use the essence of Guativor to open the chamber. Go S.E. eighteen demon's length's and dig with the golden spade. Go-" That was all it said. Whatever message it was, it was not perfectly created because half of it was missing. I thought that I should go tell Aubury abou tthis strange occurance and I rode my bike to him. I Hope Oggy doesn't find out about this I thought to myself as i jumped on my bike.

[archimage_a]

Yes I would have to agree this was pretty good and fairly funny. Only 2 major things really stuck out:

 

1.The modern meets runescape thing

 

2. Alot of little things, like mentioning the characters name to often, or missing the odd Capital I. Just those little things that built up.

 

 

 

Other than that it was a pretty good read and I am awaiting the next chapter.

[llamster]

Magic level? That's ridiculous. You could just say that he wasn't very good at magic. Also, it's highly unlikely that a business would give away merchandise for no charge, other than the food samples at grocery stores. Besides, the proper term is "runestone".

 

 

 

Otherwise, it's not bad, but try using paragraphs.