Itrade (Mis)Adventures

[Guest Itrade]

Originally posted in RuneScape Community:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and the system update (Based on a true story)

 

 

 

Another boring day of mining for Itrade. Well, not so boring, today there was an unusually large amount of eccentrics in the mining guild. Still, it was mining. Then...

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 2:59

 

 

 

It could only mean one thing:

 

 

 

Armageddon

 

 

 

Ragnarok

 

 

 

Apocalypse

 

 

 

The end of the world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade panicked. He forgot about the theory of the Dwarves mining for gas and not ore. Actually, he didn't. And it wasn't really his theory.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FLASHBACK:

 

 

 

"Listen up, class," Itrade called as he began mining. "Today we will be studying The Theory of Why There are So Many Drunken Dwarves in the Mining Guild, or TTOWTASMDDITMG for short." He got the coal, and moved on to the next rock as the others in the guild repeated the acronym in need of an acronym. "It is known for some time now, that occasionally a rock will leak a gas. This gas has been pressurized underground for a long time, and when its chamber is broken, it will spew out. A single spark will ignite an explosion." Just then, a leak occurred. "Ah, perfect timing! Come, class and observe this." The other miners approached. "You, take a deep breath of this," said Itrade, motioning to someone in full trimmed rune. The man approached and took a deep breath. He then dropped dead. "As you can see," began Itrade, while pocketing the pieces of decorated runite armor, "This is a deadly gas. It is highly compressed and concentrated and thus, deadly to us. You! Take this." Itrade threw something that looked like a bunch of pipes connected to a transparent vase at a man in a blue party hat. "This is an invention of the dwarves. It adds air to the gas, and makes it less concentrated." The man took the contraption. "Now, breathe the gas." The man inhaled through the contraption, smiled for a moment, and dropped dead. "As was demonstrated by your classmate here," Itrade said, motioning to the body, who, by this time, was oddly missing it's party hat, "Even this odd invention won't save us. But the dwarves," he said, as he impaled one in the head with his rune pickaxe and flung him forward, "Have increased lung capacity." He proceeded to rip the chest of the unlucky dwarf open, revealing... A perfectly normal pair of lungs! "Darn midgets," Itrade muttered under his breath, as he killed a real dwarf. He had stabbed the chest this time, and the dwarf exploded. "His lung was full at the time of death, but if you look on that rock..." he pointed at an empty rock with a large lung bouncing on it, like a thick red balloon. "Now, dwarves, with their peculiar invention and increased lung capacity, are able to enjoy this gas to its full extent, and have become addicted to it. They now slave away in these mines to get the gas, and not the ore, contained in these rocks. When they find a leak, they call over their buddies, and the whole lot becomes drunk. Class dismissed." The others returned to mining the now bloodied rocks, as Itrade displayed his decorative rune and party hat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

/FLASHBACK

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 1:30

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was frantic. Everyone was frantic. Some were rushing for supplies, others contacting loved ones and telling them how much they loved them. Itrade ran up the ladder to the bank, only to find it raided in the chaos. He felt his backpack being lightened, and he swung his pickaxe straight into the face of the unfortunate robber.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 1:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After raiding the thiefÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s body for essentials like food and drink, Itrade grabbed a box of tinder from the floor and ran to the guild. He arrived just in time, as the dwarves were sealing off the entrance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:45

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade entered the guild. A huge inferno was in the center, fueled by coal. The torches that use to light up the guild were taken off the walls and thrown inside. Itrade glanced at his tinderbox, and then felt extremely happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:30

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The feeling wasn't natural. It was... Forced. He knew immediately what it was, and ran for cover.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:25

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The center of the guild exploded. Flaming chunks of coal and rock were raining down. Itrade looked up. There was a hole in the roof of the guild. He cursed the gas which had caused the explosion. Who was the fool who was still mining when the end of RuneScape was near?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:15

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was only one thing left to do. Itrade ran to the west side of the guild, and hurled himself at a rock. He hacked away at it. Gas burst out. Itrade was lucky. He grabbed someone nearby and forced him to inhale the fumes. Then he hurled the inflated miner to the east, along with a lighted piece of coal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:05

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The miner exploded, causing a cave-in. The wall of rubble was now thick and airtight, as Itrade had planned. He was at last safe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE 0:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was blinded. The light had penetrated the opaque walls of the guild. It had evaporated everyone outside. Itrade was lucky to be alive, albeit on fire and with a temporary loss of sight. Now, he thought, comes the hard bit. After putting out the fire I must begin chiseling away at the roof. I must then find food, probably by eating the mutated, hellish creatures that roamed the land after something like this. Then I must band together with other survivors, and bring about the continuation of RuneScape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SYSTEM UPDATE -1:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, everything around him was restored. The rubble was which he was feverishly chipping away at returned to the roof. The torches were back on the wall and lit. The entrances were open, and the rocks were back. Slowly, people reappeared in the guild, only glancing at the half-roasted, bloodied, naked, dazed, and sweaty miner on the eastern end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and the Monkeys

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boring

 

 

 

BORING

 

 

 

BOOOORING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TUNA!

 

 

 

WOOTHMMIHAVESCHOOL!

 

 

 

YAHOO!

 

 

 

(Oh crap my yahoo was censored)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boring

 

 

 

BORING

 

 

 

BOOORING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SWORDIE!

 

 

 

YEEEEHAW!

 

 

 

(Who am I kidding?)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boring...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So were the thoughts of Itrade. Since the system update, he decided he would stock up on food, for one never knows when he might become trapped underground in a worldwide disaster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But it was so boring!

 

 

 

The only good bit was seeing the people begging for fire...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah well, thought Itrade, I already have about 150 fish in my bank...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So he put his harpoon away and decided to explore the island of Karamja.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First, he had to leave the dock. Easy. Now he was in the banana plantation. Half-way through the trees, a noob ran into him. Apparently she was rejoicing over 30gp.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade got up. Uh-oh. He was lost. All the trees look the same. He went to his left. Still more trees. He turned back. The trees were the same! Tree after tree after tree... ALL FULL OF BANANAS!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was going mad. All he saw were trees! He heard some voices. He rushed over. There were a bunch of noobs fighting over some bananas. He left them and looked around. IT WAS ALL THE SAME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After some madness and frantic running and knocking into trees, he encountered to same group. He ran away, but arrived at the same spot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmm, he thought, I'll be smart. Every time I try and get out, I end up here. I'll try and not get out, and I'll end up outside!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So he ran deeper into the trees. Almost out, he collided with a tree, stumbled backwards slightly... RIGHT INTO THE GROUP OF NOOBS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade snapped. "GAAAAAAH!" He screamed, flinging fish and bananas everywhere. a few swordfish flew into one noob, and he died shortly afterwards. Another, hit by a tuna, fainted and suffocated under the fish. A few more had bananas down their throats, and also died of lack of oxygen. One was pinned to a tree by a swordfish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then Itrade charged blindly forward. He smashed out of the plantation, but didn't stop. He kept on running westward until he saw a bunch of monkeys near the Karamja volcano.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"MONKEYS!" Itrade screamed. He loved monkeys. He used to be obsessed with them, until cows came. But now, temporarily insane, he charged into the group, grabbed one and hugged it to death.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh," he blurted. "Me kill little monkey."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked at the corpse in his hands. He had to reconcile. He saw another group of monkeys being harassed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Get their hats!" Screamed one of the humans.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"YOU NO TOUCH MONKEYS!!!" screamed Itrade, as he ran headlong into the group. Pulling out his harpoon, he threw it at some of the humans. Three were impaled on it, like some kind of human shish kebab. He then climbed quickly up a coconut tree, and hurled the hard fruits at others.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"ME REVENGING YOU FOR HURTING MONKEY!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, all were dead. Itrade, exhausted of energy, fainted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He woke up to the eyes of a staring monkey. The animal ran away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade could recall nothing. He was without memory for now. All he knew is that he wanted to be a monkey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first thing he needed was a red party hat. He walked towards the fishing dock, only to find it sealed off by guards. A yellow tape surrounded it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then it exploded.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay Marty, the mass grave is ready, you can dump the bodies now!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Gee Bob, I'm still working out how much prayer xp we'll be getting for this! Maybe we'll be able to finally overwhelm those fools with our protect prayers!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked at the bodies being dumped into the hole. They were murdered brutally by some sort of psychopath. Some were impaled by fish. Others had bananas lodged up their throat. Who could have done this act of evil?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah well, time to get a red party hat. He walked through the crater, looked up, and remembered the bodies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon he was covered in dead people. Darn. He should have moved out of the way when they lit those cannons and put the bodies inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After digging his way out, he moved to the fishing dock. There was someone familiar there. Someone who Itrade could feel he could know everything. So Itrade asked him how to become a monkey. He told Itrade about greegrees. Then the man, who now identified himself as Ben_Goten78, took out a greegree for Itrade to see. Itrade snatched the item and shoved Ben into the sea. As Ben swam out, Itrade snatched his green party hat, which was, at the time, bobbing in the water. Then he fled the island.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was being hit with more general knowledge. There was a witch who sold dyes, which could be used to recolor things. She lived in Draynor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the way to the town, Itrade heard voices.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why'd you take my greegree and hat?

 

 

 

Shaun, why did you try and drown Ben?

 

 

 

Who you? You deep dark red man, you know so much. Me take hat, me be monkey!

 

 

 

Eh?

 

 

 

SOMEONE HACKED SHAUN'S ACCOUNT!

 

 

 

Hack? Wha...

 

 

 

Ben, calm down, breathe, no one is hacking you... It's just Itrade...

 

 

 

SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU! I NOT SHAUN, I AM MONKEY!

 

 

 

Oh, no, he really was hacked...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran away, but the voices still rang in his head. Finally they both shut up, but the first voice was obviously shaken by the word hack. Itrade chanted it just to distress him, and then they stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally he was in Draynor town. He told the witch he wanted a red dye. She said he had to give her red berries for it. He went to the bank, withdrew some money, and bought some berries for a few thousand gold pieces.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he had the dye, he smeared it all over the hat. It soaked into the paper and turned it brown. Itrade tore it apart. "STUPID HAT, HOW I BE MONKEY WHEN HAT BE BROWN!" He screamed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade went to Varrock attempting to buy a hat. Luckily, there was a woman there selling white party hats. He bought some for a piece of trimmed adamantine armor he found on one of the bodies in Karamja. Next to the woman was a man who kept calling her "babez". It was the man with the purple voice! Itrade ran away from the market, and picked up some berries in the forest outside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he had attained his red dye again, he applied it on to one of the hats. It turned red. Itrade was glad. He got some more dye, just in case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he wore the hat. He was a bit of a monkey now. He looked at the greegree. The man said it had to be used in a place sacred to monkeys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked around. He had wandered into a desert. He saw a gnome next to a glider. Itrade told the gnome to take him to a place sacred to monkeys. The gnome told him that Ape Atoll was only accessible via boat from crash island, and Itrade wasn't even required by King Bolren to go there. Itrade threw the gnome aside and stole the glider.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While flying over the sea, he took out his map. Ape Atoll was south of Karamja. He flew over it, and dipped the plane down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"WHEEEEE! ME BE MONKEY SOON!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The glider crashed straight into a monkey temple. Itrade soon did some stuff with the greegree, and was a monkey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was overjoyed! At long last, he was a monkey! "OOK EEK GAK!" cried Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then a large ape, who had seen the transformation, pounded Itrade in the head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His memory was restored, along with his sanity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He ran out of the island, into a row boat, and paddled off. A gnome in the craft woke up. Itrade tossed him into the sea. Then he felt a sting. There was a little spider on his arm. He flicked it off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he felt it. He was poisoned. He had no cure! He looked to the shore. Many, clad in armor, were motioning toward the boat, waving franticly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He paddled back, and told them he was the new boat captain, and the fee was a bottle of anti-poison. Some looked panicked and swam towards him, trying to steal his boat. A few threw the potions at him. Some just stayed and cursed their unfortunate luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He paddled away anyway, and now, cured of poison, he headed for Karamja. He was still a monkey! He threw the greegree overboard, and returned to his normal form. He remembered the hat! He looked up, but it was torn and faded, thanks to the ape that whacked his head.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I still have some in my bank, though!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He landed on Karamja, took out his harpoon and started fishing. 150 fish didn't really seem like enough anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boring

 

 

 

BORING

 

 

 

BOOOORING...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Un-Busying Friends (AKA: Burning RSC)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They're always busy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was mining. It was so tedious. He wished he hadn't wronged his siblings to be forced into this labor. The worst thing is that taking a break wasn't an option. All his friends were busy. His five main friends were barely online. Dancngman111 was out of the question, he was in the flat and rounded RuneScape. Plunky2 would only be around late at night, and that's when the fun places (Like the wilderness) were crowded. Please Help was smithing...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DarkOrthanc and Ben_Goten78 were online for a long amount of time, though. But they were never playing... Ben was always training when he was around, and Dark was... barely around anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Itrade needed was a way to un-busy them. First, he must get rid of the tavern. That's where Ben and Dark went most of the time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He grabbed a tinderbox and some logs. Burning the place would be tricky. Those in charge were always trying to stop flame wars. He also needed a mask of some sort so no one would suspect him of the act.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mask was easy. He bought one that made him look like the "Anonymous user", and entered.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark and Ben were there, getting rid of spiced pig-meat that the idiots would throw around. They were also answering questions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He slipped past them. A good place to start the fire would be the core of the tavern, the Hall of the Restricted Rooms. There was the place to discuss the other realm, which Itrade had the key to enter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was the sub-head door. Sometimes Dark would go there. Ben had the key, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was the minor head door, and the door of the owners. But the core of the tavern, the direct centre, was a trap-door leading to the door of the heads. Itrade figured this was a good place to start the fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, he heard footsteps. He ran into the door for discussing artwork relating to the other world.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He peeked out the door and noticed Ben entering the trapdoor. Something important was going on there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade got out the logs. He laid them in such a way the fire would easily spread, but no-one would be trapped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He lit them slowly, one by one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, the fire was started. Some heard it, but the laughter and conversation was too loud to know what it was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quietly, Itrade slipped out of the tavern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It worked. The chaos caused in the Hall of the Restricted Rooms made many panic and flee from the area. Without leaders, the fire was not capable of being put out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many fled. Some, drunk and incapable of understanding what was happening, were killed. Let them die, Itrade thought, who cares about them anyway?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade left the tavern and returned to mining. Since the destruction of the tavern, many were moving to other places, which were no better than prisons or brothels. Some returned to their lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But Itrade's plan backfired. Many worked on rebuilding the tavern, and Ben and Dark, having responsibilities in the tavern, definitely had to help. So now his friends were around even less. Ah, what a fool he had been!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He pledged his help in reconstructing the tavern. Soon, it was rebuilt, and all was normal again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bah. He didn't need friends to explore and get rich with. They were good for talking to, but if he really wanted someone to always be with him, he needed a GF.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chivalrous Itrade

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade felt a double fart (Definition: One fart, followed by a break, then another fart) coming on. He thought, If I time this right, the gas will ignite over the fire, exploding and sending flaming bodies into the sea. The second fart will also ignite, but if I bend downwards slightly it will burn the dock. Now, the bodies in the water will be adequate food for the swordfish. Without the dock, there will be no place for fisherman to catch them, and, with the food of the bodies, it will cause an explosion of the swordfish population. This explosion will allow me to take my recently purchased trawler over to Karamja and make incredible hauls!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh, wait, that was what Ben was thinking before he felt a double fart coming on. Too bad Itrade pushed him in the water and stole his greegree and phat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Itrade was really thinking before he farted was, lololololo! If I fart dose peeps will smell and then they feel sick and then womn wil marrie me!1!1!!@!2!!!!1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You see, Itrade was in noob mode. After a while of fishing, he was bored again, so he switched over to noob mode. Just then a woman came in, and was being harassed by the fishers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After destroying the dock and helping the swordies, Itrade looked at the woman. "Whill j00 maree me3??/?/" he questioned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Go away you disgusting freak!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just then a flaming plank hit Itrade on the head, and he returned to normal mode. He was now thinking of why women were that way. Probably because when the people of RuneScape saw women, the fought over her like miners over coal. Noobish miners over coal. They used all sorts of cheesy pickup lines that never worked. Being a woman must be hard. Itrade decided women needed to be treated better, so he pledged that whenever he saw a woman he would treat her with the respect due to a Christmas Cracker that has just dried after being dunked into a bucket of water. He would treat them like they are delicate, and they are wonderfully valuable, and he would do so without slipping up. Or at least he would try.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First thing Itrade needed was flowers. Women and flowers go together like dwarves and ore... or gas. Or better still, like noobs and begging.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where was he to get flowers? He did the waterfall quest, because Ben_Goten78 had told him that you get flowers from mithril seeds, and you get mithril seeds from the waterfall quest. When he was done (Thanks to the guide, of course), Itrade took the seeds and planted them. He picked the red ones and blue ones, and left the yucky black ones on the ground. He decided against being nice to Goth women. Who'd want to be someone named EvilBlackHeart666's boyfriend anyway? He also took one of those nice, white flowers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next thing was chocolates. He stocked up on them at the store in Port Sarim, but they were too unromantic. He made chocolate cakes, instead. Then he remembered how woman always "Watch their waists" as good old Mama Itrade would say. Itrade Senior always gave Mama Itrade flowers and cakes. Sometimes sharks. Itrade Senior really loved Mama Itrade. Back to the present, Itrade found himself eating 2/3s of each of the cakes for each of the 27 bunches of flowers he had (He left the yucky black one on the ground), thus eating about 18 cakes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh-oh. Itrade needed to poo. He ran to the sewers, crawled down a pipe, and did his business. When he clogged the pipe, he quickly ran to another. Soon, all the pipes in the sewer were clogged with Itradepoop. The whole place was starting to stink. Worse still, Itrade had stolen the cauldron from the moss giants and had emptied it out. He now sat inside it, finishing off his doo-doo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He needed something to wipe his bottom with now. He peeked his head out. Everything was dead. He didn't know why. Probably because he had a stuffy nose at the time. He ran up to a moss giant and yanked its beard off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Too soft," he said. "Also to fragile. I'll get dung all over my hands."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then he saw a dead noob. After rummaging the body, he found some silk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I love this!" he exclaimed, while cleaning his fatigued buttocks, "It's like swearing in French!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was about to leave the sewers when something horrible happened. Some guards were sealing off the manhole!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also, due to the blockages, sewer water was now up to Itrade's knees.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What will I do?" he cried, "I'm going to drown in this disgusting place!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luckily for Itrade, many were working feverishly in gasmasks, chipping away at the all that divides the moss giants from the zombies in the Edgeville dungeon. The smell was overwhelming Varrock, and the king wanted his city back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon the wall was breached, and the sewer water poured in. Itrade, floating on a dead rat, managed to squeeze through the wall, while others around him died when their masks were washed off by the waves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade climbed out of the ladder into Edgy, he looked at his filthy clothes and remembered that he needed a bath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He headed for Falador where people were dying all around him. Many others fled from him. "What?" asked Itrade, but there was no-one around to hear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he entered Falador park, the flowers drooped around him, and the statue of Saradomin collapsed and shattered. "Maybe I do smell a bit bad," he said to no-one at particular. There was no-one to talk to.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The moment Itrade stepped into the pond, the water turned a murky brown color. It was not fit for bathing in anymore. Not even fit for touching.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade decided to take a snow bath on the ice mountain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"N-n-now I know w-w-w-w-why the o-oracle i-is so b-b-blue," he shivered, while putting on his new clothes (The old ones were too dirty to be cleaned).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he climbed down the mountain, he remembered another thing a woman loves: Perfume.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He bought a few vials, filled them with water and stuffed flowers inside. The pretty colors reminded him of another thing that women like. He chipped his gems and made some necklaces and rings. His woman appreciating inventory was now thus:

 

 

 

27 slices of chocolate cake

 

 

 

16 perfumes

 

 

 

27 flowers

 

 

 

29 assorted pieces of jewelry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade gave some to his friend Ben_Goten78, because that day Ben was going on a date with his girlfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben gave Itrade a few thousand raw swordfish notes in return. How'd he get so many fish? thought Itrade. Ah well, that doesn't matter. I'll follow Ben and see how his date goes along.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It went wonderfully. Ben proposed and the wedding was next week. Itrade was flower... Person.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next week, Itrade went to the wedding. Most of the attendees were men. The only females there were Ben's bride and a few others from the tavern.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then came the drop party. Ben and his friends had pooled together a large amount of items "That were to be dropped in honor of the best girl in the world". Itrade contributed about 200 steel bars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon the whole south-eastern section of Varrock (Ben decided to get married in the name of Zamorak) was brimming with people. A few women, too. Everyone was chasing after the notes, armor, weapons and jewelry Ben was flinging around. 12 white party hats were also donated (All Naitch and Itrade could spare).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As one particular hat was flung to the ground, a woman in full adamantine armor with gold gloves and boots dived for it. She was trampled on by others. Itrade threw down his green dye and party hat (Which was, of course, blank and white) which he was using together to make a green party hat, and ran towards her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the crowd scrambled madly for the hat Itrade had dropped, he bent down lifted her up by her left arm. "Allow me to help you up, madam," he said, grasping her arm and pulling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just then her gold glove and ring of wealth came off, causing her to fall into a puddle of mud, and causing Itrade fall backwards, too. The glove flew out of his hand and fell down, along with her ring. The maddened crowd had taken both articles in less than a second.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The woman got up, walked over to Itrade a slapped him over the face. "I had to sell my full rune and work for a whole month for that ring, you stupid pervert! I hope Gen Borten or whatever serves you for the buffet!" she yelled, slapping poor Itrade over the face again, before giving him a sharp kick between the legs and spitting on his cheek.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"OW!" exclaimed Itrade as he rolled over in pain. "FatherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Day will cost me an expensive trip to the surgeon..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the wedding, Itrade decided to grab his stuff and go appreciate more stressed out, fragile, and priceless women.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He decided to start in the banks. Sure enough, there was a woman. "Here, ma'am, please take these fragrant flowers and lovely perfume as gratitude for being a... erm... female..." said Itrade, presenting her with the sweetest smelling flowers he could find, along with a bottle of perfume.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You disgusting putrid monster! Are you implying that I stink? Well you don't smell too good either, buster!" she said as she shoved him into a man selling poison darts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the good man's wares were impaled into Itrade, making him look like a giant human dartboard, he turned all green and shriveled up, but not before puking his guts out over the bank floor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later, in Al-Kharid, with his legs still apart from the ArabÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s surgery to restore Itrade's chances of one day having Itrade Junior Junior, Itrade stumbled upon another female. After chatting a bit, and laughing a lot, Itrade ran off to present her with some flowers, a perfume, and a piece of cake. When he returned, she accepted the gifts with gratitude. She then left to apply the perfume. After a she spent long while in the storage room in the skirt shop, Itrade decided to check if everything was okay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He knocked. No reply. He opened the door. She was lying on the floor, in spasms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"OH GREAT FARTS OF GUTHIX! I GAVE HER A WEAPON POISON!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He rushed to get her an anti-poison, and when she was cured, she got up, kicked his almost-recovered balls, and stuffed the cake and flowers in his mouth. "And tell all your other pervert friends that women will stand up against this abuse!"

 

 

 

After another trip to the surgeon, Itrade decided to get rid of his perfumes and flowers, and use jewelry and cakes instead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he was leaving with a sack full of gold and gems, a fat lady pointed at him and screamed "HAROLD! IT'S THAT EVIL ROBBER! LOOK, HE'S GOT MY NECKLACES AND RINGS!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade dropped the bag and ran. Many guards were chasing after him as he ran into a house in Varrock and barricaded the door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THE THEIF IS IN MY HOUSE!" cried a thin and rather beautiful woman.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Sorry ma'am, I thought this was empty. Listen, I didn't st-"

 

 

 

"GUARDS!"

 

 

 

"Quiet! Please! Here, ma'am, have some cake. You'll love it, I'm sure."

 

 

 

"Are you calling me fat? GUARDS! THE THEIF IS IN MY HOUSE AND IS CALLING ME F-" Itrade clasped his hand over her mouth.

 

 

 

"I didn't say anything like that" He whispered. "I said you would enjoy my cakes, implying-"

 

 

 

"That she's fat."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A guard had gotten in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How'd you get in?" Itrade and the woman chimed in unison.

 

 

 

"Backdoor."

 

 

 

"Oh. Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got to run. Have some cake," said Itrade, as he ran away to Falador.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Woman are not like Christmas Crackers," concluded Itrade, as he mined some coal. "They're like the shade random event. Rarely seen, and extremely dangerous."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Making Beaches

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still mining, Itrade was, once again, bored.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe there's another way to get friends together, thought Itrade. A good picnic always works. Perhaps a picnic by the sea. In honor of Ben's new bride. I have four days until Mr. and Mrs. Goten get back. I need to find a beach, get some food, and... Hey! This is easy! All I have to do is find a nice beach and get some food!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Itrade stored his pickaxe in the bank, took out some money, and went off to get cooking supplies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a day of boring cooking, which I shall not mention, Itrade was ready. "I have nine pies, two cakes, a bunch of swordfish, a ton of tuna, a few pieces of chicken and some gourmet steak. Now all I need is a beach," Itrade said cheerily to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After scouting Karamja, Itrade came to the conclusion that there were no good picnicking spots, all the beaches were too small.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What I need, thought he, is a way to lower sea level enough so that the picnic can take place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade decided that the only way to do this was to dig under the sea, get a hole in the bedrock, then escape as the water fills a cavern big enough to lower the sea a few feet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade had the perfect cavity in mind: The caves near the Imacado Dwarf.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All he had to do was blast a hole into the eastern wall of the ice giants and climb into the cavity, dig downwards and slightly east, and he would be under the sea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now all he needed was some explosive potions to do the blasting. And he also needed a modified pickaxe and a lot of rope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After handing over a hefty sum of money to Ned for the ropes and such, Itrade was off to castle wars.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he arrived, he joined Saradomin's team. They were losing. Who cared? All he needed was a few potions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the game started, Itrade rushed into the storage room. While stuffing potions into his backpack, he accidentally dropped one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The potion exploded, causing all those on the table and in his backpack to, too. The people and contents inside the room were liquidated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ouch, thought Itrade, as he went down the ladder from the starting room. That was my worst death yet. He re-entered the storage room and took some potions, being careful not to blow himself up again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then someone in orange rushed in with Saradomin's flag from the underground passage. "Uh-oh," said Itrade, as he was trampled by his teammates, who were all chasing after the flag.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again, the room exploded when one of Itrade's potions was smashed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking around at all the people he accidentally killed, he put on his "Eh... Sorry" smile. He was glad Saradomin didn't like us to kill our teammates.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade set up barricades around him so as not to be trampled when collecting potions. When he was done, one of his teammates climbed up the ladder from underground, and he was holding Zamorak's flag.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran up to the man, who's back was so full of arrows he resembled a giant porcupine (Not that Itrade knew what that was... :whistle: ), and said to him:

 

 

 

"Who in Saradomin's name did this to you?"

 

 

 

"Taaake..." cried the man with his last breath, pushing the flag into Itrade's hands.

 

 

 

"Great. What do I do with this?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just then, about a hundred Zamorakians burst out of the ladder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He's got the flag!"

 

 

 

"KILL HIM!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran with all his might to the top of the castle. He placed the flag in the stand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He heard shouting nearby, and knew the Zamorakians were near. He flung himself off the top of the castle, out of the castle wars area and into the river nearby.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That", he said to nobody, "was close"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he arrived in Falador, he decided to get some shut-eye to prepare him for the task ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Itrade got out his equipment and set off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, he was in the icy liar. He flung a potion at the wall. Or at least he wanted to. An icy club whacked him from the back, smashing all his potions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The explosion killed Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade ran towards the cliffs from Lumbridge, he heard a rumbling. There was an earthquake!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He hurried on to the caves, tripping over many times. When he arrived, steam was shooting out of the entrance like a glacier!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is what happened. When the potions exploded, the roof collapsed. Itrade had miscalculated, and the cave was apparently right below the sea!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the water poured in, another astounding thing happened. The explosion and impact of the water revealed a stream of flowing lava. This turned the sea into steam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade watched in astonishment, the sea lowered about 10 feet before the lava stream stopped and turned to rock.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, at least there were beaches now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unfortunately, the next day, Dark couldn't come. He would have loved to any other day, but a new part of the underground pass quest was here, and he wanted to make the guide for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ah well, at least the Gotens will be there." Said Itrade to himself, as he set sail for Karamja.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A new dock was in place because of the lower sea, and as Itrade waited on the beach, he heard something in the distance. It sounded like Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked out down the beach, and sure enough, there was Ben's trawler, the nets brimming with swordfish, and a bunch of vials with "Just Married" were tied to the rudder.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade knocked on the hull before climbing a net.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inside, Ben and his bride were having a romantic dinner, and were rather startled by Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he asked why they didn't come for the picnic, the Gotens explained to him that when they ran aground, they had the idea to extend the honeymoon, and also build the trawler into a beach house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade, thoroughly defeated, since Ben, as a married man, will never have time for friends again, and Dark, now a head of the tavern, flooded with responsibilities.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So Itrade went and had a dinner on the beach with his only free friends, the monkeys.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flying

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bah, this place is boring! I'm gonna see how the Gotens are doing, thought Itrade, as he once again left the mining guild.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he got out, it was raining heavily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Uh-oh. The sea, which evaporated, is coming back down! I have to warn the Gotens, their beach house/trawler will be submerged and they'll DROWN!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran towards the south. When he reached the cliffs, he dived in. He didn't have time for a boat ride.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Swimming quickly to Karamja, Itrade ran through the mass grave and found their house between the two docks. He ran inside through the fur door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He heard a woman yelling at someone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You're always at that stupid pub of yours! We just got married and now you want to spend more time on that price guide?"

 

 

 

"Darling, firstly, it's a tavern. Secondly, I don't want to spend all my time there. It was just that I was getting complaints that it was outdated, so I went to fix it."

 

 

 

"Then what took you so long to get back?"

 

 

 

"Honey, you know that the boats are delay-"

 

 

 

The Mrs. Goten cut him off.

 

 

 

"You've been cheating on me, haven't you?"

 

 

 

"Off course not! I don't have space in my heart for anyone else! And how could I betray you? You're the best thing that ever happened to me!"

 

 

 

Itrade could tell that Ben was telling the truth.

 

 

 

"Honey," started Ben, "You have to stop jumping to conclusions."

 

 

 

"Jumping to conclusions! I'm not jumping to conclusions!"

 

 

 

"Yes you are, first assuming I like my work more than you, then assuming I'm cheating on you..."

 

 

 

"I'M NOT JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS!"

 

 

 

"YES YOU ARE! YOU'RE JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS LIKE A FROG IN MATING SEASON!"

 

 

 

"So now I'm a frogwhore?! Is that it? You think of me as some kind of ugly [bleep]tish toad?"

 

 

 

"No! I didn't..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then Itrade walked in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Mrs. Goten, Ben cares for you! If you'd clear your silly head for a moment..."

 

 

 

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS," Yelled Mr. and Mrs. Goten at the same time.

 

 

 

"I'm just trying to help..." Said Itrade, feebly.

 

 

 

"We don't need any help!" Said Ben's wife.

 

 

 

"Calm down, honey, he is just trying to help, that's his nature. Kind and..."

 

 

 

"NOSEY!"

 

 

 

"Maybe I am a bit nosey..." said Itrade, but they didn't hear.

 

 

 

"So now you're defending your friends while you call me a frogwhore?"

 

 

 

"Honey..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"LISTEN, THE SEA WHICH I EVAPORATED IS COMING BACK DOWN! IT'S RAINING GOBLINS AND GIANTS OUT THERE AND SOON, WE'RE ALL GOING TO DROWN!" yelled Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, everyone was quiet. The only sound was the pattering of the rain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well good then. This marriage lasts 'till death. I'll be in Lumbridge soon, free of rats like you!" exclaimed Mrs. Goten, pointing a finger at Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No-one is going anywhere," said Itrade, with a dragon longsword in each hand.

 

 

 

"I took these while you were arguing," said Itrade, in reply to the Gotens' shocked expressions. "And we're not going anywhere until this marriage is fixed."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Then we'll all just drown," said Ben's spouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Have you ever drowned before?" quizzed Itrade. Both heads shook a "no". "It's horrible, the feeling of being crushed by water. You think you can get out, so you hold your breath. You look for an exit, but you can't make heads or tails of the ship, partially because it's capsized, partially because you don't know where up or down is, and partially because the oxygen in your blood is thinning out, and your brain is concentrating on shutting down non-vital organs, instead of thinking. Soon, you give up, you pass out. You are immediately woken by your body's sudden reflex of gasping for air. Only there is no air. As the water fills your lungs, you feel crushed, and slowly, painfully, you die. I know, I've drowned before. I still have nightmares."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben and his bride looked on in horror. Water was up to their toes already.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, I'll say this marriage is good if Ben stops visiting that tavern altogether."

 

 

 

"But..."

 

 

 

"No," said Itrade. "That's not you're going to solve this. This is a marriage, not a negotiation."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You need to recognize that Ben still loves you, even though he's not too good at showing it, and you," continued Itrade, pointing a finger at Ben. "Need to stop spending so much time in the tavern. Hand your guide over to someone else, like Dark. He'll take very good care of it. You're married now, and even though you may not be having an affair with another woman, you're still cheating on your wife with your work."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They both agreed to the terms. Suddenly Mrs. Goten flung herself into Ben's arms. They were kissing in such a way that it looked like they were trying to see who could eat each others face off first.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Enough mushy stuff! In case you've forgotten, we still might drown if we don't seal the door. I have some iron ore, but I don't know what good it'll do."

 

 

 

"Darling, the runes! Fetch me some fires and natures! And my needle and thread!"

 

 

 

Mrs. Goten ran off to fetch the items.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm going to stitch the fur to the wood, then superheat the iron over it to make it watertight," informed Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the door was sealed, the water was half way up their shins. Suddenly, there was a low rumbling.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade rushed to the port hole. Lava and geysers were shooting out of the ground. Karamja was going to erupt!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Quick, get us out of here!" screamed Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben ran up the deck and began to steer the boat. "That man is such a hero," said Mrs. Goten, dreamily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the volcano erupted. The trawler was on a huge wave, and as the wall of water crashed against the Asgarnian shores, the boat was sent flying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben climbed down from the deck, holding a law rune and a staff of air. "The boat is coming with us, honey, don't worry," said Ben, as he began the spell known as "Teleport to Camelot". "I've rigged it with law runes."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben hugged his wife tight as they, and the boat, disappeared. "Thank you!" was the last thing Itrade heard before they were gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was over Taverly now. At this speed, he would land directly in... The icelands!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was right. As he descended, he made out a figure on a sled. It was Dark!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey Matt!" yelled Itrade, as he whacked into the sled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nice of you to drop by," said Dark. "I was just exploring this place when you fell from the sky."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The sled was moving at a tremendous speed. On slopes, it seemed to fly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"POLAR BEAR!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHACK! The bear buckled at the knees and fell on the sled. Itrade looked up. The bear was impaled on the dragon longs he was holding. Itrade pushed the poor creature off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey look, it's the ice plateau," Dark pointed out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The bear had turned them east slightly, so they flew off the cliff side, over the members gate, and over the extended wilderness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"YEEEEEHAW!"

 

 

 

"WOOHOO!"

 

 

 

"WOOTHMMWEHAVESCHOOL!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SPLASH! The sled began skipping over the northern sea. It went up an iceberg shaped like a C that had fallen down to the right. It went up the curve, turned down, and then flew off to the south.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"YAAAAAARGH!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again they were over land. Soon the craft smashed against the gate, sending Itrade and Dark flying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade hit the ground on his belly, and Dark fell on Itrade. It looked like he was surfing on the poor miner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, they stopped altogether. Dark got off, and thanked Itrade. When Itrade didn't reply, Dark turned him over.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade's face was merely a skull, and his guts were smeared in a gory path all through the wilderness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ouch," said Dark. He buried Itrade, and left for Lumbridge to thank him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Lumbridge, Itrade was begging noobs for free stuff when Dark arrived.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks for saving me intense pain, Shaun."

 

 

 

"No problemo," said Itrade, pocketing some logs and a bucket he had gotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Say, you wanna go PKing?" asked Dark.

 

 

 

"Really?"

 

 

 

"Really really," said Dark, smiling.

 

 

 

"Okay, I'll tell you when I'm ready," said Itrade. At last, after evaporating an ocean and dying three times, after burning the tavern to a fine cinder, Itrade had a chance to bond with his good friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The War

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After making his full steel, Itrade took out his two dragon longswords (He kept them when he died, along with a piece of iron ore...) and left for Varrock, the meeting spot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Itrade arrived, Dark was surrounded by ladies. Itrade was astounded by the amount.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Matt? Is that you? How'd you do that? I mean, you've got, like, 5 girls following you!" exclaimed Itrade, shocked.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Makeover mage, the clothes shop, and the barber," Dark calmly replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Cool. Say, where's your armor?" asked Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, yeah, PKing. Hold on."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark rushed into the bank, and came out in rune legs, and a dragon square shield.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"WHOA!" gasped Itrade. The ladies just sighed, dreamily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade tossed him a dragon long. Dark grabbed it, spun it around in a show-off way, and decapitated one of his girlfriends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Whoops."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the ladies left the now-evil woman-abuser, Itrade took off his helmet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How come you get dragon and I only get steel?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark then tossed Itrade a rune plate, kite, and legs, all trimmed. Then he gave Itrade a black headband, before putting one on himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now, let's move."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As they trudged into the wilderness, Dark and Itrade struck up a conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Did you know if the order of Jagex named this land like the places in the other world where they come from, we would be living in RuneFord?" began Dark.

 

 

 

"Yeah. Every single land in their country ends with Ford. Unless it ends in Land," Itrade answered.

 

 

 

"RuneFordLand then," concluded Dark.

 

 

 

"Nope," interrupted Itrade. "Don't forget all those Fordshires."

 

 

 

"RuneFordShireLand?" Dark began to chuckle a bit at the ludicrous name.

 

 

 

"Wait, wait, don't forget Essex and Sussex!" he gasped between laughs.

 

 

 

"RuneFordShireSexLand?" blurted Itrade, before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After the laughing stopped, they wiped their eyes, and observed their surroundings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The wilderness seems pretty empty," Dark pointed out.

 

 

 

"We should go to the castle. We'll probably have better luck in there," suggested Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So they turned west.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they arrived at the castle, there was nobody there but a level 47.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, noob, could you tell us where everyone is?" said Itrade.

 

 

 

"Haha! You is noobs! I can kill you! Me grandfather can kill you!"

 

 

 

"Shut up," began Itrade.

 

 

 

"No, you shut up!"

 

 

 

"I only said 'Shut up'. You're the one who said that your granddaddy could kill us."

 

 

 

"No, you grandmonkey can kill me!"

 

 

 

"Uh... Yeah..."

 

 

 

"Oo aa you! You am stupid grandmonkey!"

 

 

 

"Listen, noob. Take one step forward so I can kill you," said Itrade, annoyed.

 

 

 

"Nono, you noob! You scared I kill you!"

 

 

 

"That's it," said Itrade, as he grabbed the noob by the collar and threw him deeper into the wilderness. "I'm gonna teach that idiot a lesson for hiding behind the wilderness level regulations."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran up to the noob and began furiously jabbing him with his dragon longsword.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Uh, Shaun..." said Dark, speaking at last. In the confrontation with the noob, he was adjusting his hair so he would look just nice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Haha you three is gaaaaaaaaaay!" yelled the noob as he ran off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked at the ground. The noob had rolled away, and the ground was full of holes from where the sword penetrated the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade saw the noob run away. He didn't have time to think what he was doing, but he chucked his sword toward the noob. Saradomin's control of "fairness" in the wilderness, more commonly known as the level restriction, didn't stop Itrade, because he hadn't known what he had done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only when the sword flew into the noob did Itrade come back to his senses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and Dark walked over to the body. A smug, idiotic look was on the face of the noob. Death had been instant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Awwww... I like it when they suffer!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After pulling the sword out, they proceeded deeper into the wilderness. Still, no one was around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They moved north-east in silence. Dead quiet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they reached the gate, they opened it and headed west. That was where some noise was coming from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As they approached, they saw that hundreds were fighting. Some were running away. All were clad in either red or blue capes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark and Itrade glanced at their capes. Both blue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Latecomers! Get them!" yelled a man in a blue cape. Immediately, the whole blue army was on their heels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and Dark ran around the mage arena, but still couldn't shake them. When they arrived at the tadpole-shaped pool of lava where they first saw the fighting, no blues were there, only reds strategizing and regrouping.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Look, those idiots have our enemies behind them, backing them up! They must be the clan leaders, Boy1337 and 1337Man!" called out a man in red to his team.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade glared at Dark. His armor was off. He was wielding a staff of air, and tossed one to Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Take off your armor! Take these!" Dark yelled above the roars of both the reds and blues, throwing Itrade some death runes. Itrade stuck them in his pocket, next to some water runes he had picked up from the noob.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Follow me!" yelled Dark, as he jumped up, seemingly into the lava.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just before he hit, Dark shot the lava with an air blast. It parted the lava and shot Dark into the air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade followed suit. When he shot it, the lava shot out around the "tail" of the "tadpole", burning the rival clans, who were staring in disbelief.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They kept at this, with magic and arrows flying behind them on both sides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why me?" cried Itrade, before landing on the ground in front of the "head" of the "tadpole".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What now?" he said to Dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't know! They'll be on both sides of us in no time, so the only way out is through the lava, but they have some posted on the other end, waiting for us."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Through the lava..." muttered Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Be prepared for pain, 'cause here they come!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"THROUGH THE LAVA!" Itrade cried, blasting the pool with a water blast. Immediately it turned to stone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Come on!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark and Itrade ran to the middle of the hard, stony lava. The mages and arches fired, but Itrade and Dark dived to the ground, and the spells and arrows hit the opposing sides.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the warriors charged onto the lava. It broke almost immediately, and they sunk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luckily, Itrade had grabbed Dark, who was adjusting his sleeves, and jumped into the air, firing an air blast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they landed, they thought they would be incinerated, but Itrade and Dark landed on a layer of rune. The armors had melted, and floated to the top of the lava, and cooled to a solid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warriors stepped onto the rune, in a circle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It sunk slightly, but didn't tip.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, when all hope seemed lost, a warrior fell forward. Two rune arrows were impaled in his back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then two around him fell. Each had an arrow in his back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Don't wait for more, run!" cried a voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and Dark didn't need to be told twice. They ran over the bodies, towards the east, where the voice came from.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The warriors ran after them, causing the rune covering to tip, and the warriors melted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade, Dark and their rescuer ran over to the gate, closed it, and superheated the lock. Then they ran south.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Their rescuer was an old man in black dragon hide. He wore a rune medium helmet and wielded a magic longbow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I just wanted to test my sniping skills in the war, but I didn't expect you to be here, Shaun."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Col?" asked Itrade, surprised that his friend would be here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Who else would wear a rune medium helm and lose a ranging advantage of 2, eh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Erm... You guys lost me," said Dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh. Colin, Matt. Matt, Colin."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nice to meet you," they both said, shaking hands.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Enough with introductions, time to run. They'll be through that lock by now," said Colin, whose formal name was Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We should head for the castle, the warriors will probably be coming back from Lumby, and there are cannons to defend both sides," suggested Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they reached the castle, they were dodging arrows and spells. Itrade and Dark hacked away at the drawbridge, for their woodcutting was higher than Dun Argoth's. When it was down, they bolted the door with a plank.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Upstairs!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they got up, they immediately got to work.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You two man the cannons! Matt, you take the northern wall, Shaun, you take the western wall! I'll take the tower here and range the warriors!" commanded Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Defense and Escape

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the upper storey, a timer appeared. A system update was coming.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, that must be the Egypt area. Bye," said Dark, as he teleported away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He never told me he had telerunes," said Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well, I guess it's just me and you. Better get to work, Shaun," said Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Same with you, Col."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade ran to the cannons, he pulled out a tinderbox he had found in a box, and began to light the tinder. When the fire was ready, he was just in time. On the western wall, Itrade fired off the cannons at the rangers, who were lining up nicely for the shot. They flew around with their arms waving everywhere. It was beautiful, or at least Itrade thought so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then something amazing happened. A large group of mages, about 20 or so, flew into the air, and were blasting away at Itrade. Itrade ran for cover as some of the mages got shot by Dun Argoth's arrows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One, whilst overshooting the eastern wall in his dying tumble, was hit by a bolt. As the body, pushed back by the bolt's force, fell onto the wall, a man climbed up the wall. A man with a white beard, and full rune.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Nick," called out Dun Argoth from his airy perch, "ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢Izzat you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I came as soon as I heard. There was a ruckus going on in the Barbarian village. Someone had destroyed their magic box. But that wasn't what concerned me. When I fixed it, they all cheered and handed me a beer, but on the screen, I saw you, Shaun, and some other guy running around on the walls. Around you, there was an army or two. I called up Ian, Jan, Race, and Manny to help."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time he finished, three warriors and an archer were manning the cannons and firing arrows into any flying mage they saw.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ian, whose formal name was Golin Slayer, and Jan, whose formal name was Punisher520, were Itrade's brothers, and they helped him on the cannons.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Manstonrox, the one they called "Manny" was on the ground, without any armor on, slaying warriors who had returned from Lumbridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Race Draw8, or Race, was firing off arrows to the warriors and mages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We've got two minutes left!" yelled Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Aww, do I have to come inside now?" said Manny, obviously enjoying the killing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why do none of these mages have telerunes? I'm scared of pain!" cried Punisher, who had been rummaging the bodies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Woooo hooo! Must have been at least a mile up, that one!" cried out Urubaen, who had traded his sword for a staff, who was seeing how high he could shoot the mages.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Show off," muttered Golin Slayer, who was a mage of lesser power.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Come on, Manny, time to come in, they're storming the door!" said Dun Argoth, who had shot an arrow shaft attached to some rope at Manny.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After climbing up, Manston pointed to the south.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What's that?" he inquired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh, crap! It's a catapult! Get the hell off the walls!" yelled Race, as he lit the cannon and fired it in the siege machines general direction.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The cannonball hit, but not before the payload was in mid-air.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The tower collapsed, hitting the one north of it, and causing that to be destroyed, too. The rubble was an open staircase for the invaders.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luckily, Manny had jumped off just in time. Dun Argoth had not been so lucky. If it wasn't for a fire blast and getting in the way of Urubaen's latest "toy", he would have been in deep trouble.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, the north-west tower, run!" cried Itrade. He jumped onto the broken ladder and climbed up. Then he tossed down a rope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they were all up, they cut the rope. As they were staring down the hole, an archer appeared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They reeled back as a rune arrow flew up the tower. Dun Argoth shot the archer in the head, and the arrow penetrated the flimsy protection of his coif.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next three archers were greeted by the arrows of Race and Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fourth one ran in, his bow already tense. Before he could aim, an arrow struck his chest. He released the string.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The arrow whacked Dun Argoth at least a foot in the air, knocking off his rune medium helm, before he collapsed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He's got telerunes!" cried Punisher, who was desperately looking at the spilled contents of the ex-archers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade was tending to Dun's concussion, Urubaen shot a rope-arrow at the body, and reeled it up. He pulled out the runes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I guess that helmet is useful for something after all, eh Col?" chipped in Itrade, as Dun Argoth returned to consciousness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Bring in the dynamite, we only have fifteen seconds left!" cried a rough voice from below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay everyone, huddle! We don't want to be around when those explosives go off!" cried Urubaen.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone grabbed his air staff, except for Itrade. An old man in a black hood had called his name.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"SHAUN!" they all called.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"On five!" cried the rough voice. There were six seconds left before the update.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shaun, too late," said Urubaen regretfully, as the group shrunk to the teleport portal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Alright then, I'll follow you," said Itrade to the old man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just as the old man teleported Itrade away, an explosion occurred. Just after the explosion, everyone disappeared from RuneScape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone except Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's only temporary, after a minute the castle will be restored, and the dead armies will be mine for plundering," said Itrade to himself, as he wondered the odd maze which walls were made of floating boxes. "For now, I'll just loot the chests."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One minute later, Itrade grabbed the centre.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was back at the castle, fully restored. As he had guessed, the armies had died before the white light had saved them. Itrade grabbed about one million or so gold pieces worth of runes, and then hurriedly exited.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

News crews and interviewers crowded Lumbridge to interview fallen warriors, and others flocked to Varrock to get the scoop on the heroes. No-one was in Al-Kharid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No-one except Dark. He had his guide up almost instantly. He also was the first Runescapian to wield the dreaded Dragon Scimitar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After dividing the spoils with the team, Itrade trudged to Falador.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still mining, he thought, always mining.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He smiled. That was the way it was going to be for a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noob Slaughter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade held the talisman high over the ruins. A force surged through him, teleporting him to the body altar. He walked up to the altar, with his rune stones in his hands. Doing a favor and making body runes, he though. What's anyone need body runes for?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he approached the altar, people popped out from hiding in the heart shaped altar's area. Itrade felt giddy. All around him people were clapping. He looked down. He was wearing a black suit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked in front of him. A woman in a wedding gown.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She approached him. He couldn't see a face, but he was giddy. Very giddy. He ran for the portal. As he dived through, gravity seemed to reverse. He fell on the roof. The heart-shaped altar split in two, and he was surrounded by Zamorak's demons. The evil god was standing before him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The heart spilt further. Soon he was falling, falling, falling...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He's awake!" Cried a familiar voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Knocked down by noobs, poor fellow," said someone else. Itrade didn't recognize the voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He sat up, and looked around. Many noobs were scattering, running. He saw one get impaled on a javelin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next to him were Dun Argoth and a stranger. Then he remembered how he got where he was.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It started one month ago.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was going to visit the Gotens. Ben had called him there, along with all Ben's other friends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As he arrived in Catherby, there were a few noobs around. They were angry, but Itrade didn't know why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade went inside the boathouse. He was late. All Ben's friends (And Mrs. Goten's) were already there. There was also an odd magicky man there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Good. The last guest," Itrade heard the odd man mutter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Gotens were smiling. A lot. It was eerie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well, you're probably wondering why we called you all here, so-" Began Ben

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The woman is pregnant," interrupted the odd man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah, uh, that's it," stuttered Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There was a moment of congratulations and smiles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now, I am here, wasting my precious time, to tell you what she has to do," said the man. "Or rather, what she can't do."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No fishing, no smithing, no smelting, no combat, no ranging, no magic, no climbing, crawling, or agility of any sort, no firemaking, no woodcutting, no cooking, no thieving, no running, no questing, no gardening, no swimming, no walking," he said, all in one breath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone's heart seemed to skip a beat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wha... Why?" Said Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So as to decrease any chance of injury to the child. If she is caught doing any of these forbidden activities, the council will confiscate your house, money, and possessions. Then we'll lock you both up in Port Sarim prison for child abuse."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That's a little strict, isn't it?" Said one of the guests.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well it's the law," said the man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What can I do?" asked Mrs. Goten, who had just recovered from the shock.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You must stay bedridden. You can eat, but only healthy food. No meat. You can also fletch and craft, but no jewelry," said the man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And," continued the man, "The husband must be with her at all times, or he will be sentenced for neglecting his spouse and child."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How're they supposed to eat, or keep entertained, or anything?" inquired Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"That's where you come in. You'll all help them, or be fined and arrested for some unnamed law," said the man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They looked at each other. Their plans for the next nine months were cancelled. It was horrible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And don't forget, we're watching you," said the man, as he left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One month later, Itrade was out getting some leather and bread for the Gotens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he neared the boathouse which was now the couple's prison, he saw noobs. Tons of them. All screaming. All angry. All armed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The crowd had started to grow. They were first an annoyance, and the council tried to fine and imprison them for noise pollution, but they didn't have anything to be fined of.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were angry with Ben for not updating his guide. They had no idea that Dark was in charge of it, or that he was now working around the clock to get food and other necessities for the Gotens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now the crowd was angry. Very angry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I try and sell my stuff but people say I too expensive!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"People always say that I sell my thing too cheap!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Why you never update guide??!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They charged at the boathouse. The simply ran over Ben's friends, who were guarding the boathouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade dropped the bread and leather and took out his pickaxe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He flung the noobs around with ease. He had killed twenty in a matter of minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But there were hundreds of them. Maybe even a thousand ignorant, selfish noobs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then a stranger rushed in. He was wielding a dragon scimitar, and wore rune chain mail body. He had a pair of chaps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Go get some better weapons!" He called out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran to the seer's bank. He withdrew his double dragon longs, and some rune armor he had picked up from the castle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he got back, the stranger was flinging bodies left and right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade joined in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were still noobs. It seemed they couldn't be defeated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then, from out of nowhere, a steel arrow whizzed in. It struck a noob in the back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Shaun, how do you get yourself into so much trouble?" cried Dun Argoth, as he readied another arrow.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's not me this time!" Itrade retorted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Whatever, this is good training!" Said Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now the three had killed about a tenth of the noobs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A single arrow is not fast enough. Hold on, I'll be right back," said Dun Argoth, as he ran off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He returned a little later with adamantine javelins.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now I can spear five at once! You gotta love black dragons!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon the number was diminishing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Itrade felt a blow to his head. He collapsed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, noobs were piling on him, crushing him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The stranger was flinging them away, but it was futile. Dun Argoth was doing his best to keep the others off Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was suffocating. He passed out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, as he looked around, there were barely any noobs left.

[Guest Itrade]

Now, as he looked around, there were barely any noobs left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"They're coming back from Lumby!!!" Cried the stranger, who was obviously in it only for the prayer experience. He had a rune spade with a magic shaft and was burying at an incredible rate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Saradomin help us," muttered Dun Argoth as the mob, now double the size, charged at the boathouse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They couldn't be stopped. They rammed the boathouse, knocking it off it's foundation. It rolled off into the sea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran towards the sea as Dun Argoth and the stranger took care of the cheering and fleeing noobs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he looked back, Urubaen was there, too. Probably for the XP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade jumped into a rowboat. He had to check if the Gotens were okay. If not, he had sharks. And healing potions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he boarded, they were fine. They were on deck celebrating their freedom. There were fishes, pizzas, and other unhealthy food all over the table. They invited Itrade for dinner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Itrade was full up, he wished them goodbye, and rowed off to tell all Ben's other friends they were free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Freneskea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Itrade rowed back, Dun Argoth was handcuffed and being led away, and the stranger had ran off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The council workers approached Itrade and handcuffed him, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What did we do wrong? There's no law against slaughtering masses of noobs!" Cried Itrade in protest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, but that's only because of the amount of people who do it... but you littered. You left arrows and pieces of bronze all over the place. And the blood was horrible," said one of the workers.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This is outrageous!" Yelled Dun Argoth, who obviously had better things to do that to get locked up in Port Sarim jail and do slave labor for a month.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Just be glad we couldn't fine you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the jail, they were led down a staircase. And another. And another. And another.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This place is 20 stories deep on my last count," Itrade said to Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They passed some familiar faces as they descended deeper. The jail was crammed full of people who only committed minor offences.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They were locked into the cells 67 stories underground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Welcome," began their escort, "to what we call the guard less cells. It's so far down, by the time you break surface, you'll be too weary to run!" He laughed and spat on Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ewww."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now listen up, you'll have to mine 500 coal ore a day. Deep down here, you should have no problem. The entrance to the mine is to the west. You'll be released next month."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade and Dun Argoth were in the same cell. They could talk to six other inmates, two in the cell in front of them, two on their left, and two on their right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To Itrade's surprise, next to his cell was Zezima.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How'd you get in here?" Itrade asked as calmly as he could.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"The claim I was using an outside force to take over my body and gain experience in a skill. It's totally untrue. I was just using the basic meditation that we all have where I can make 28 of something without concentrating! Last I heard, that was perfectly legal!" Said Zez.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"And it's hopeless to get out. Even with my expert thieving and agility, the locks on the gates and the fatigue of climbing so many stairs is impossible," he continued.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wow. So how long are you in here for?" Asked Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I was put in here last month, and so I've got - get this - one more month!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We got one month for littering," Itrade informed him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well, no hope of escape, and one thousand coal and two hundred and fifty rune ores a day is easy. Same with the yews. They say I have to smelt the stuff on Sundays, and make the logs into planks on Saturday. What vexes me is why they need so much metal and planks," continued Zezima.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wow. Your punishment is way worse than ours," Dun Argoth said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well, whatever, I'm tired. See you guys tomorrow or whenever, you can't tell day or night down here."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked at the other prisoners. No one else famous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They all seemed to be imprisoned for minor offences. Some were fined extreme amounts of money. They all had to get wood and metal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next day, Itrade walked to the mine. If the huge space behind his cell didn't have fifteen thousand coal ore by the end of the month, he wouldn't be free. Zezima and a few others walked into a lush forest, probably cultivated by magic, and were collecting logs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so passed the month. Itrade also discovered that everyone's sentence ended on the same day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His curiosity had overwhelmed him. Itrade saw a gigantic furnace room on his way up the stairs, and since there were no guards, he ran in.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was huge. The rune bars were being made into some sort of chimney. A big one, at that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He saw a gigantic boat also being made. It could carry the chimney.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He also saw a sign.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It read:

 

 

 

"Here's your chance at full dragon! Train on deadly and dangerous monsters and find unimaginable amounts of treasure, all at the low, low price of three million gold pieces!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Itrade heard voices. He ran into the chimney. He kept crawling until he couldn't see his hand in front of him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Alright, teleport the boat and tunnel to Catherby, and don't let it fail. The monks of the order of Jagex need the money soon, and there can't be any more delay," said a voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you sure the monks would approve of this method?" Asked the other one, hesitantly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well, the decision isn't mine to make, and it's too late to argue," said the first voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, Itrade felt giddy. It was over in a second.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, at least that stupid mage got the chimney on top of the boat. Time to cast off," said a new voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, Itrade felt rocking. He was on the boat, on the sea. He wondered what kind of trouble he had gotten into.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Seal the hatch, we're gonna drop it!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The chimney thing tipped into the water. Itrade began sliding. Because the hatch was sealed, Itrade wasn't going to hit the water. It was just being pushed away. Itrade would hit the bottom of the sea and splatter. What a horrible way to die.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Itrade was falling. But not through the pipe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The whole landscape was dreary and red. Itrade hit the ground.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, not exactly the ground. He was on top of a giant, dead dragon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Who's he? Where'd he come from?" Asked a fairy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I dunno, but there are some dragons coming, let's equip him and send him out to fight," said another.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade stood up. He was surrounded by fairies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh no. He's human!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Take this armor, and leave! Before you know too much!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No, his portal! We must seal it!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What in Saradomin's name is going on here?" Asked Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"He's a follower of the good lord!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thank the heavens!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Whatever, could you just tell me what's going on?" Itrade asked again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Alright, but you must take this armor first. We could be attacked anytime!" Said a fairy, as she handed Itrade full dragon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not with a med helm, chain body and square shield.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A real full set of dragon. With a war hammer, to boot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Now, welcome to Freneskea, where war is always raging between the dragons, the fairies and the evil gods' off springs."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't like this place one bit. How can I get out?" Asked Itrade, for indeed he had a wretched feeling about the area.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Only two ways out. Take the portal you came from, which is indeed the first in many eons of warfare. The last link was a rift between that of Zanaris and the real RuneScape world, the former is now the home of many of our kind," said a fairy, who was probably their leader.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Lucky," muttered another.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Or you can exit from any of the rune altars. Air is the only one that isn't sealed off."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, got it," Itrade said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Either way, when you get out, PLEASE close the portal. We cannot allow the warfare and pain of our realm into yours."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just then, a monkey ran by.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh no," said a fairy, "You didn't bring any law runes, did you?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"No," said Itrade, with an innocent face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you sure?" Said the fairy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Yeah..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"REALLY SURE?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Well..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Itrade Edarti Junior, don't you lie to me!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"How'd you know my name?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Wallet," Said the fairy, as she tossed him a bag of coins with his name and address on it. Or at least his parent's address. Old address. They were dead now, but they died at a ripe old age of... Well, Itrade forgot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Okay, fine, I lied. One rune is all I brought, though!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You've opened a portal. It's over there. Go into your world, and bring some gold and bones. Do it, now!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran inside the portal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was under Karamja. The monkey must have climbed down the rope. Still, he was lucky there were some gold rocks there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After grabbing some skeletons and some ore, he ran into the portal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There were dragons everywhere. He held up his dragon kite shield, but it didn't help much. Neither did his armor, but it helped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fairies were everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's the human!" One cried.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon, the fairies had killed a dragon. There were nine left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade smashed one in the head with his war hammer. It died instantly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soon he was smashing his way through many dragons, getting burned the whole while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only when they were all dead did he notice that the dragons were white.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A fairy hacked off the [wagon] of the dragons and gave them to Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"These provide excellent magic protection, and you can tan them when you get out. Right now, we must seal the portal. We've been waiting for five years for this moment."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Five years? I was only mining for thirty minutes!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"We forgot to tell you about the time rift between these worlds. Zanaris ages the same rate as RuneScape, but between Freneskea and RuneScape, the time rift is insane. Now, I'll send you off in the area of Falador. It's surprisingly safe, because of the worship of Saradomin in the city in RuneScape, but you must still be careful when you climb the altar. Good luck, friend."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The fairy sealed off the Karamja portal with the gold and bones, then chanted something before sending Itrade flying off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"This is rather dÃÆÃâÃâéjÃÆÃâÃâà vu," Itrade said, as he crashed into a forest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was being stabbed and slashed by invisible enemies. Little dragons and strong imps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade began scaling air altar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Higher, higher he climbed. The dragons were blasting him with their breath, but it was futile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was too heavy. Itrade threw off his dragon armor, keeping only the war hammer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he reached the top, people were happily going about crafting air runes. Apparently the time rift couldn't affect the altars, and the Dragons couldn't get out. Good thing, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade jumped through the portal and ran to the prison.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was right, Dun Argoth and Zezima were just leaving.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade hurried through his experience with them. The three of them ran off to Catherby to somehow close the portal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the way, they met Urubaen. He looked rather happy with himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They explained the situation, and Urubaen informed them he had just the thing to help. He had just come back from blowing a hole in the castle wars wall. He escaped with multiple explosive potions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was heading for Catherby because it was said a new training spot would be opened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As they ran to the boatbridge, they saw a huge crowd.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They shoved and pushed through the crowd. Urubaen even threw a few potions for good measure.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The hatch was open. No one wanted to pay the price yet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zezima instantly slaughtered the guards. Then Urubaen blew up a section of the boatbridge with a potion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

While Dun Argoth was keeping the crowd at bay with his arrows, Urubaen tossed in the rest of his potions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The explosion echoed through the chimney, and made Itrade, Zezima, Urubaen and Dun Argoth temporarily deaf.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then the chimney collapsed. It sunk into the sea. A fortune in rune sunk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The boatbridge broke up. Many, clad in heavy armor, drowned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade passed out with the shock of falling. Dun Argoth, Urubaen and Zezima swam back to shore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later, Ben's trawler was passing over the area. The net caught the top of the heap of rune, and began to sink the trawler.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ben cut off the nets, and looked into the water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was almost about to drown when Ben brought him aboard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Over another lovely dinner of fish, Itrade told of his latest adventure, and then handed the white dragon hide over to Ben.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They docked in Port Sarim. Itrade got off, and went back to Falador to mine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exorcism

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mining was boring, as usual. What was not usual was that instead of wanting to go hang out with his friends, Itrade had a lust for blood. He wanted to see lots of it, and fast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He ran out of the guild. He knew where he wanted to go.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lumbridge was the city of choice. He would go into the courtyard of the castle, where the portal opens. The gods would dump the dead there until they figure out what was going on. Perfect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade grabbed his dragon battle axe and his dragon long sword. He jogged over to the city. On his way, he saw a highwayman holding up a lady.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Stand and deliver!" cried the highwayman, aloud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade slashed the highwayman in two with a swift swing. The woman turned to thank him, but he ran his sword through her stomach, before delivering a downwards blow with his war hammer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he reached the courtyard, there were beggars everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first to go was a young man, new to the world. He was inquiring on why rune was better than steel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade smashed the hammer into the man's stomach. Almost snapped in two by the blow, the young man flew back, smashed into the door, and died. He immediately was back alive, and got sick over the sight of his own smashed body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade swung his sword through the neck of another beggar, who was pleading for a recently killed man's rune plate mail armor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the head fell off, Itrade whacked it with suck force against his hammer that it exploded, sending pieces of skull and brains everywhere. Lovely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade swung into a swarm of beggars. They were crowding among a pker, who had teleported here after a successful kill.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slicing, hacking, smashing, Itrade ran into the crowd. Limbs flew everywhere.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade grabbed into a beggar furiously, and ripped off a chunk of flesh with his teeth. The screaming beggar was then sliced through the midriff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many, in panic, attempted to flee, but Itrade was too ferocious. He charged towards the exit, and slashed many in half. Then he shut the gate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With his strength, oddly enhanced, Itrade bent the gate in such a way that there was no escape.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then Itrade ran into the castle.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many were fleeing up the ladder. Itrade smashed it with his hammer. He grabbed a person and cracked him in half. With a bronze dagger, Itrade ripped most of the flesh off the body, before splintering the bones and throwing them under the broken ladder. If someone tried to jump, they would be killed by the sharp bones.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade ran to the other ladder, the southern one. He climbed up it, before setting it on fire and throwing it off, along with some bodies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The horrible bonfire began to stink. Itrade ran towards the group of people who were hiding in the duke's bedroom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"You! The dragon slayer! These people need a savior! Apparently a madman is raging through me city, killing-"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The duke had no time to finish. Itrade whacked him with the head of his hammer. The duke fell on his bed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade approached, and lifted up his hammer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Die, you ignorant Saradominist! This body is under the control of Fred, one of Zamorak's elite black demons!" screamed Itrade, as he stabbed the body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he brought up the sword, people all around him were laughing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Fred? What kind of name is that?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade, or Fred more like, charged towards them. Instantly they were gripped by fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wall of the castle exploded. Bodies flew out onto the courtyard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He jumped into the pile of corpses. Already they had been dropped back into the land of the living.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He swung into the crowd.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He ignored the voice in his head. Well, Fred did, at least.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That's Plunky! thought Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fred continued the massacre.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey? Are you there?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I got to talk to her somehow! I got to get this demon out of me! thought Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Fred collapsed. A rune arrow was impaled in his leg.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A silver arrow flew out of the sky, striking him directly in the heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fred twitched and screamed. He emerged from Itrade's body.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was a towering black demon, and was looking for the shooter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that Itrade had control of his body, he spoke quickly to Plunky

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm kinda busy right now, but I'll get back to you later. Nice to hear from you again.

 

 

 

Alright then. Nice to hear from you, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The demon charged at the tower.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two silver arrows pierced the demon's chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It roared, and then collapsed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade watched as Dun Argoth climbed down the castle tower, and delivered the final blow into the demon. He used silver light.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks Col!" said Itrade, recovering from the arrow in his leg, thanks to some shrimp he found.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Once again, you can thank the experience point system. Saradomin promised to favor me more in my prayers if I killed this demon called Fred, so I immediately came over. What surprised me is that you were Fred's host," said Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A Zamorakian mage must have sent him into you when you were bored, for that is the only way Fred grows," continued Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So that was the bloodlust!" exclaimed Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Indeed it was. The sight of all that death fully released him," answered Dun Argoth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks again. Follow me, I got another reward for you," said Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the Draynor bank, Itrade presented Dun Argoth with full white dragon hide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Ben tanned it for me. You saved my butt so many times, you definitely deserve it," said Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Thanks! Well, I'll be off, I can't wait to test this stuff out on some pkers!" said Dun Argoth, as he ran north."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alright, where were we? thought Itrade to Plunky.

 

 

 

Catching up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gohan

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That good-for-nothing Dark still owes me one gold coin!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That was Itrade's waking thought. Of course, Dark did not owe him one GP, but Itrade was having one of those dreams when something seems so familiar, like you've done it all your life, you know? No? Well, I get them, so on with the story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade climbed out of his hole, he probed his mind for what Dark was supposed to be doing today.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 2:59

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade didn't have to worry, then. The new update was supposed to be a wilderness slayer dungeon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 2:30

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade began to brush his teeth. He did this everyday to get the plaque that the rat meat brings out of his teeth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 2:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade crawled back in his hole and put the rock on it. Then he began to change from his uber-stretchy red pajamas into his semi-formal black suit. It was the only clothing, aside from his pajamas, that had, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 1:30

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade walked out of Falador Park. He climbed up Ice Mountain and over the other end, and then broke into a sprint towards the deep wilderness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 1:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade was running faster and faster. He saw many people in the distance, all wandering around.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 0:45

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then came the PKers. People were running everywhere. Itrade decided to do what he knew was best, so he jumped into a crater, huddled up into fetal position, and began praying.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 0:10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A PKer approached Itrade. He raised his sword.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 0:08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, an arrow sent the PKer hurdling backwards.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 0:02

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the PKer charged to his unknown assailant, he received another arrow in his chest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

System Update 0:00

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The light descended, and the wilderness was empty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the people were restored, Itrade got up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The PKers were all dead. Hurray for self-defense!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade looked around for Dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade caught a glimpse of him. Dark was heading for a new cave entrance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Dark stopped. Someone was probably talking to him telepathically.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark turned around and ran.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade followed him, keeping a safe distance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark ran to Port Sarim. He grabbed Klarenze (That guy who sells you the ship for Dragon Slayer) and threw him into the sea. "Klarenze Cruiser. Pah! It's my lovely Lumbridge Lady," Itrade heard Dark say.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dark pulled up the gang-plank, untied the ropes, and moved to the upper deck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade dived into the sea and swam towards the ship. It was evening, so Dark didn't see him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Itrade was swimming, Dark tossed Jenkins the cabin boy into the ocean as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade grabbed at some planks and ripped them off. It was the hole he had fixed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Itrade banged the planks back with his bare hands. The ship had taken in some water, but not much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Suddenly, Itrade realized Klarenze, Ned, Jenkins, and Oziach were running a scam together! Oziach was obviously a dragon-breeder, and he supplied the "ElvargÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[pjb21]

ok. wow! alot of reading, uh, yer. i like it and its really good! whens the next chapter coming out :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just wondering, 1) are you mad?! 2) do you have alot of spare time? 3) are you sure your not mad? lol

[Guest Itrade]

ok. wow! alot of reading, uh, yer. i like it and its really good! whens the next chapter coming out :P

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just wondering, 1) are you mad?! 2) do you have alot of spare time? 3) are you sure your not mad? lol

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I started writing these around February. My next story is three-part, and I haven't started on the third part, because I'm also entering the thrid part in a story telling contest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

[pjb21]

kool. is it gonna be realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long then? or a shorter one? or what?

[Guest Itrade]

kool. is it gonna be realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly long then? or a shorter one? or what?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5k words is the maximum, 500 is the minimum.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

[pjb21]

when will we get to see it?

[Guest Itrade]

when will we get to see it?

 

 

 

Before 10th April.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

[pjb21]

kool im looking forward to it =)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

so yeah,

 

 

 

pjb21

[Guest Itrade]

so yeah,

 

 

 

pjb21

 

 

 

>.<

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'll get started on it now, nothing to do. I'll finish it tomorrow, post it here, get my editor to proof-read, and then submit it for the Story Writing Contest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

[pjb21]

you got an editor??? kool!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

just wondering how old are you? and how long you been wrighting for?

[Mixer]

that is so much reading... i read only a little bit but its nice

[Guest Itrade]

that is so much reading... i read only a little bit but its nice

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: I quoted the wrong post. I meant to do... pw... Something's...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lol, I'm only 13. I started these stories in January. A few weeks ago, someone came in and started pointing out my mistakes. The SWC entry is his application test, and I'm sure he'll pass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://w3.runescapecommunity.com/index.php?showtopic=241765

 

 

 

The temporary link until the new server is back.

 

 

 

http://www.runescapecommunity.com/index.php?showtopic=241765

 

 

 

The real link.

[pjb21]

kool. im 13 aswell lol.

[Guest Itrade]

Recruitment

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As our heroes battled the Zamorakians, Ben Goten was in a different spot of trouble

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅWAAAAAAAA!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[pjb21]

i like it =) the only thing i dont like is the *going back in time* its kinda anoying but still a very good story.

[Guest Itrade]

i like it =) the only thing i dont like is the *going back in time* its kinda anoying but still a very good story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's a neccessity. I wrote the three parts over a span of more than a month, and I had a lot of work in between. The biggest bit came, of course, in the end. I haven't even started on my next story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

[Guest Itrade]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.freewebs.com/rscstorycontest/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So yeah,

 

 

 

Itrade.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Boo to the censor!

 

 

 

SWC topic:

 

 

 

http://www.runescapecommunity.com/index ... pic=277262

[bucky]

Awesome stories! Keep it up. :mrgreen:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love all this senseless destruction :lol:

[Guest Itrade]

[pjb21]

now where was that from???

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what was the point???

[Domovoi]

Great work, this stuff is absolutely hilarious full of senseless destruction :lol: :twisted: