Adelina's Adventures(Name still Pending) Updated!

[Merry]

Okay, First of all I would like to say, This is not my usual style of writing. I don't usually write about this kind of stuff, but I thought it'd be fun to for a change. Here is the first part, I may write more I may not...We'll see what I feel like. :lol: And we'll see if the feed back is what I want, lol.

 

 

 

EDIT: I added more to the story and changed some things

 

 

 

also, I won't add anymore until I get more feedback.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crouching in a dark corner, AdelinaÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s bright green eyes pierce through the darkness.

 

 

 

Her hand moving towards her deep rosy cheeks as salty bitter tears streams down upon her lips. She swiftly brushes away her tears and with the same continuous motion she sweeps back her long flowing hair that had fallen around her face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She then stands up as her long locks of golden brown hair cascades down her well toned body. She slowly makes her way towards a dark heap of cloth drenched in blood. She kneels beside it and with much emotion and struggle she forces out a hushed sentence ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅMy Dear, I shall never forget you, and will always love you!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

[pjb21]

thats quite good. just wondering where are you going to take this?

[Merry]

I'm not sure, I figure I'll just keep writing and see what becomes...

 

 

 

Thats how I write most of my stuff. Just write as stuff comes to mind.

 

 

 

then go over it later and rewrite it so it sounds better and achieves more of wanted affects and feelings. :D

[Freesy]

Ahh...I can relax knowing there's another high-quality writer on the forums. This was a very well put together....paragraph. I'm only clueless about the rest. Where are you going to go with this? What killed her fiance? And basic paragraphing rules should apply to you, too. Whenever someone new talks, start a new paragraph. Keep up the good work :)

[Merry]

Yeh well the original writing was a full page...full of BS, I then condensed it so it made more sense(in my Opinion)and didn't just go on and on about nothing. It origanally talked about how the guy could have been mistaken for a pile of dirt, but then I decided that made no sense and I needed to just keep it simple and to the point(though what exacly that point is I have still yet to figure out.) I'm hoping her journey will find her at the end a better person for it and at peace within...I won't give away how it all comes to be, as I still haven't figured it all out myself. Will see what I come up with. Wait and see for the next part...

[Myweponsg00d]

Very nice story. Well written, and very original.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How long have you been writing on your own?

[Merry]

I've always loved creative writing. Sometimes its hard to put what I imagine onto paper. I enjoy imagining it the best. Writing it down just helps me remember it and share with others. I love the feeling when I write something and accually finish it. Or were not only my parents think its cool, but my brothers do too! That says alot when your brothers can't wait to read more of the story. I'm so glad you like it as well. Like I've said before this isn't my usual type of story I like writing. Last night when I was writing more of it, I was freaking myself out. I kept peering out the windows and stuff. I was writing it late last night. lol. Those who have read it thus far and like it, may find a surprise when I finish it...but It'll be a while before I accually have my plans written out in story form. Its in my head, just have to put it on paper.