October 21, 200718 yr *The Story Is about 2 white Kinghts named Kentex and Ivor its about a quest for a sword(you will find out why in the 3rd part) and a war between the gods. I wrote part 1 back when I was in 6-7th grade,(so 4-3 years ago) so there are some thing that kinda don't line up but will be explained in later parts,(Yes I know theres grammer erros,is you find them will you point them out?) In total I plan to have 5 parts,I also plan to release a website with all the info regarding news and others things i hopw to release the site very soon! In the 169th year in the 5th age of runescape evil draws near as the world comes crashing downÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ.. Chapter 1 The Imperial Force "c'mon move it, move it" "yes sir" Ivor commanded his students to bring the metal bars to the anvil. The soldiers were about to earn their weapon of honor, A two handed sword . They moved the bars into the smiting room inside white knights Castle. "Lights out in two hours u may do as you please until then." Kentex known for his high defense and being "teachers pet" walked through the grassy plains and farmland around the castle. The sight of these things always brought hope to him that he would be a true defense pure. "Lights out!ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ
October 21, 200718 yr Lots of grammar and punctuation mistakes, and a few cheesy parts (defence levels, putting on armor when getting out of bed). Varrock is not a kingdom, it is a city. Same thing goes for Falador. You hardly described the takeover of Falador. It's very unrealistic for a young squire to kill 20 soldiers. Otherwise, not bad. Ah, this reminds me about the noob on the Runescape forums who was upset with the quest "Cold War" because apparently his grandparents died in the war. :wall:
October 21, 200718 yr Author Thanks alot I am working on making chages in the story,I never really noticed those but now that I look at them there hard to miss on how chessy and how they dont fit into the story
October 21, 200718 yr Lots of grammar and punctuation mistakes, and a few cheesy parts (defence levels, putting on armor when getting out of bed). Varrock is not a kingdom, it is a city. Same thing goes for Falador. You hardly described the takeover of Falador. It's very unrealistic for a young squire to kill 20 soldiers. Otherwise, not bad. 1+ AH, THE GRAMMAR! IT BURNS USSS!! *hiss* CAPITALS! COMMAS! ARRGH! *shudders violently* Five kittens out of ten. Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day
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