JJGM Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 That night wasn't one I would forget in the near future. Just a few hours ago I awakened, wiping the dirt and mud off my jeans. I looked around and noticed I was in a forest, a beautiful one at that. The leaves were of exquisite autumn colors, and I could smell something being baked a short distance from me. The smell was very strong, but delicious. I searched for the birthplace of the scent, and soon saw a small shack-like building. As I walked towards it, the smell kept getting stronger. "Hello? Is anyone here?" I questioned. I heard a faint voice coming from behind the shack. "You must leave at once. Or you will fall into the same fate as we have.". The voice continued. "Wherever you came from, go back this instant!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thats it so far. I need some hints on how to add gusto to it, and where I should place the parts where the characters speak. Please help, and tell me if you liked it or not. If I get enough help and comments, I might continue.. My blog to *100cb F2P* :XD: Check it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 Not bad, but yes, you need a little help. For example, "Blah" I said, "Blah" he said to "Blah" I said "Blah" he said. Besides that, the first person is risky, but it is very good if done right (I can't really) I would like to see you continue it. I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unoalexi Posted October 27, 2007 Share Posted October 27, 2007 Not a bad start, although remeber that you don't need to tell people every little detail about everything. Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJGM Posted October 27, 2007 Author Share Posted October 27, 2007 Thanks guys, I edited the talking parts a bit, and will continue tonight if I get the chance. PS: Tyvm for the awesome sig Uno! :XD: My blog to *100cb F2P* :XD: Check it out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconBomba Posted November 4, 2007 Share Posted November 4, 2007 Good start, I'm in the same boat, first story just started, Tales of Terra, its longer of course as I did it on word a few days ago. Of course I'm just in the starting phases. You can go so many places from this, a good solid prologue, so what's it gonna be, sci-fi? fantasy? mystery? mixture? Blender builderToday's experiment is:Learning how to make light industrial space craft. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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