Misterxoshon Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Hello and welcome to Xoshon's Story Showcase. Just read and post! [hide=Lord of the Mask-WIP]Prologue The island of Mata Nui has changed. Much that it was once was is lost. For none now live who remember it. It began with the forging of the nineteen great masks. For within these masks was bound the strength and will to govern the six races of Fire, Water, Stone, Earth, Ice and Air. But they were all of them deceived, for another mask was made. In the land of Kini-Nui, in the fires of Mount Ihu, the Dark Lord Makuta forged in secret a master mask, to control all others. And into this mask, he poured his cruelty, his malice, and his will to dominate all life. It became known as the Mask of Shadows, a mask that was created to rule them all. One by one, the free lands of Mata Nui fell to the power of the Mask. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Toa and Matoran marched against the armies of Makuta, and on the slopes of Mount Ihu they fought for the freedom of Mata Nui. Victory was near, but the power of the Mask could not be undone. It was in this moment, when all hope had faded, that Lhikan, son of Norik, took up his father's sword, and Makuta, the enemy of the peoples of Mata Nui, was defeated. The Mask passed to Lhikan, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the Mask easily corrupted his heart. And the Mask of Shadows has a will of its own. For it betrayed Lhikan to his death. And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years, the Mask passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer. The Mask came to the Po-Matoran Ahkmou, who took it deep into the tunnels of Onu-Wahi. And there, it consumed him. The Mask brought to Ahkmou unnatural long life. For five hundred years it poisoned his mind. And in the gloom of Ahkmou's cave, it waited. Darkness crept back into the forest of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow; whispers of a nameless fear, and the Mask of Shadows perceived its time had now come. It abandoned Ahkmou. But something happened then the Mask did not intend. It was picked up by Turaga Dume of Ta-Koro. For the time will soon come when the Ta-Matoran shape the fortunes of all. Chapter 1: Ta-Koro Ta-WahiÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæ The land of fire, magma and rock. Magma falls, volcanic activity and lava is found in abundance here. The amphibian Ranama hide in the rivers below, the Dragon Lizard, Hikaki, hide in the rocky caves caused by magma and the firebugs called Hoto crawl in and under stone and rock. It is home of the island's largest volcano, serving as a source of heat and lava. In the shadow of this Mangai volcano lays the village of Ta-Koro. To our eyes, the village looks like a collection of miniature volcanoes located among stone pillars used for defending the village from enemies and lava waves. But to the Matoran of Ta-Koro, known as Ta-Matoran, was a paradise. It was home. In a large hut in the village a seemingly young Turaga named Dume was seated at his desk in the study, writing in an overlarge book. ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅThere and Back Again. A TuragaÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s Tale, by Turaga Dume,ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà What is your opinion about Muslims? Post here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nine naked men Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 So... this is a Bionicle's Fanfic, right? It sounds alright, but, tbh, I kind of lost interest at around the second chapter. P.S What does 'WIP'stand for? And you have one to many 'was's' in your first or second sentence, can't remember which. P.P.S It sounds a helluva lot like LOTR, now that I've read some more. sleep like dead men wake up like dead men Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zonorhc Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 It sounds exactly like Lord of the Rings. In fact, the screenplay of the first movie, which doesn't make it any better. Varrock Library: Shattered Sky | Silent Thunder | The Emperor's FinestAstri @ MythWeavers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 got bored and gave up trying to read it I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misterxoshon Posted January 16, 2008 Author Share Posted January 16, 2008 Don't worry! I have more stories, this was just one I never finished. I have another Bionicle story from when I was in my Bionicle phase. :P But I have a RS story that is in WIP and I will post it. WIP means Work in Progress, I never knew that until a few days ago I figured it out. What is your opinion about Muslims? Post here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nom Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Dude, this is the Fellowship of the Ring screenplay almost word for word, substituting names. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 I agree entirely, there's a difference from a little bit of author's creativity (like Raven's Eragon-similar but different story, or a fan-fiction) to yours... oh, and me saying "got bored and gave up trying to read it" is something I have never said before. If you have other stories, you might want to use those post-haste. At least you haven't used chat-speak in your first post here and I give you props for that. I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harakiri Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 As they said...this was worse THAN actually reading the fellowship of the ring. (I can never get myself to read it...boring as hell). Write something else at least...DO NOT CONTINUE... Next thing we know Borromir (substituted by Bob) will die and Golem (substituted by Golum) will take the ring (substituted by a necklace). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misterxoshon Posted January 17, 2008 Author Share Posted January 17, 2008 I saw you on Halo... What is your opinion about Muslims? Post here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Halo is not the answer... #-o I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harakiri Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 Halo is not the answer... #-o LOL...I need to quote that...Halo...the answer to every ripoff of a story that has made the Tolkiens RICH! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xewleer Posted January 17, 2008 Share Posted January 17, 2008 well, at least give proper credit (what's the point of being quoted when no one knows who quoted?) Uh... okay then. I'll show you how terrifying a true Christian can be!It's Xewleer: ZEW le ar, got it memorized?Hermit of the Varrock Library and its proud guard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unoalexi Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 Gosh Xoshon, how many flipping accounts do you need anyway?? But that's besides the point.. Hmm.. You did seem to copy the LOTR, and the wall of text(spacebar, please!) hurts me eyes. Other than that well.. I found your story to be.. just boring, considering I couldn't care less about the Bionicles in the first place.. Here be dragons ^ Dragon of the Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pir4k4m4n2 Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 read all the way through :thumbsup: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluejayfan94 Posted July 14, 2008 Share Posted July 14, 2008 read all the way through :thumbsup: Please, LET THE STORY DIE. You bumped it up from January. :shame: I lost all respect for you. HomerSPC's Lets Plays : : Minecraft, Portal, Halo and more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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