change is the worthiest of adversaries

It comes back again and again, does it ever end? Does this thing cease to exist, does it ever die? At the end of every road, near the turn, the unknown, it strikes. The worthiest of adversaries, the one that makes you wise. Change.

At many times in our lives we come to realize that nothing lasts forever. That all things come to an end, but for some reason we find ourselves stuck, wondering and pondering about the past that is engraved into our memories.

Change traumatizes us, it makes us cower at the very thought of it. We take it for granted that all will exist the next morning, when inf act it all could end this very instant. Does the thought of death ever crosses our minds? When I start a relationship should I already try and perceive the end? Perhaps this adversary is no adversary but a friend that makes us realize that the present truly is a gift.

I begin to remember my past, what I've done. I remember my grandma's old apartment in Los Angeles and how I played in those parking garages, the friends I had made and now long forgotten. I remember how I stole from my own family to buy shoes and clothes to look "fresh". God, what have I done? What was I thinking has I made the decisions that shaped my life? The thought never crossed my mind, that my actions at such an age could affect who I would be later on.

Perhaps all the stupid decisions I had made turned me into who I am today. I would hope that person today is a kind, considerate young man. I would hope that this young man would find love one day, and know that everyone makes mistakes and that those mistakes are the ones that change us.

But even with this knowledge, I cannot help but feel a sadness knowing that today's gifts will one day end and remember what has past. I miss my childhood, I miss knowing that the sun will shine everyday. But hey, that's life and take it as it comes. For holding onto everything, well that ruins the whole purpose of reminising doesn't it?

P.S. Runescape truly brings back the memories of old friends, and how it has changed me. Yes, a game has truly changed me. Delve deeper into your soul and you will realize it too.