archangel

I see no reason for hope and despair. All things are meant to be, or not to be. Things erode, tarnish, fade, degrade, wear, tear. I am nothing more than what you deem me. If I should be of importance, describe. Tell me what I am, I am everything. That is a human, that is nature. Hypocritical, mesmerizing, dumb. I see a cloud of atoms, it is love. I saw her as a person, but she wasn't. She eroded, tarnished, degraded, wear-ed, teared. She didn't fade. She stayed. Important to me. From her, I see truth. I see what is real. I cried and I sought refuge in myself. I remembered her favorite color, teal. I remembered, I hid inside myself. An attempt at poetry, I'm more of a prose writer. If I'm a writer at all.

nice vid dont really see alot of vesta so nice job :D that ags specer...funny that he said gf too like seriously..?

Thanks edgethesis and rocco for the compliments. :P

As children we all had many dreams. From being doctors to firemen, we had aspirations with no limitations. As adults we find ourselves trapped, having to choose a single path for the rest of our lives. I want to be many things, but I can't. If I became a U.S. Marine then I could never become a doctor, if I became a dancer I could never become president. I must choose, but I can't. Is it possible for my dreams to collide? Could I kill lives yet also save lives? Could I let my body talk instead of my mouth? Can my dreams coincide? Could I see the stars yet see the lights of man at the same time? Why must I choose definately? Could time stand still for me? I must choose, but I'll dream instead. I'll let my chances pass, because I can't describe how I would feel without these dreams. I want the city, I want the farm. I want everything this world holds, but my hands are too small. They're lost in the sea that is washing upon the shores of the earth. I wish I could be a child forever and dream, this world is too harsh for me. I will sleep and hope that I do not wake. Reality never gives, but always takes. I hope I'm wrong, this world is too small to crush my heart's song. I'll hope my dreams will collide and hopefully coincide.

Thanks godofjoy, the concept of time interests me as well, but understanding of it is so elusive.

Before my sophmore year in high school I had always taken regular classes, doing an hour's worth of homework a week and rarely more if I had to read a book written by a third-rate author. I was happy where I was, I could "chill" with friends nearly every day for most of the 24 hours and still get above average grades. I remember I'd come home from school at about three, drop my backpack off then head out the door to skate and just "chill" in random places such as the local 7-11. We'd sit there for hours, just talking and joking. On weekends we'd get some "herbs" that my friend stole from his mom, then we'd go to this abandoned barn near the retirement home; I think at one time horses used to live there. I thought that was the life, nothing could be better. I probably was right, at that time none of us robbed drug-dealers or had been sent to JDC. We were just a bunch of care-free pre-teens/teens just living life to the "fullest". The summer to ninth grade was a life-changing summer. I started to stop hanging out with my usual friends and instead hung out with kids from my local soccer team. Soccer taught me something that I can't describe. That summer I had also gone to Argentina for three weeks. God, those people there are poor, here in America my family is about the bottom middle-class, but there we were upper upper class reserved for the entrepeuners of Buesnos Aires, since everywhere else is a slum or wilderness. I tasted my first taste of luxury, for dinners we did not have waiters, we had maitredes (however you spell it..), we did not have just one fork but three, though I can't remember what each one was for. The drink was not water in a cup, but imported minerale l'eua ( minerale water) from France. After that drink came the finest wine of the country. The steak we ate was the finest Argentinian filet mignon ( Argentina is famous for their steaks). I like that life, to be the elite. To have power, wealth, respect and to be envied by many others. I enjoyed the stares I received as my family and I walked out the Christian Dior store with almost five bags filled with shirts and jackets made from fine wool and silk. When I wore my Dior jacket to school that following winter, my god did the girls love it. It wasn't something anyone could get at Hollister, Abercrombie, or Aeropostle. This jacket was imported, and the best thing about it- purple silk underneath the black wool. As the plane began to land at Dulles International airport, I felt a feeling, I mistook it for nostalgia of the people there. I now know it was longing to be elite here in America as I was in Argentina. I live in one of the largest, richest counties in America. Not by money, but by pure chance. My parents bought our house nearly 25 years ago when Fairfax County was probably non-existant. Lucky for us the nation's capital was 20 miles away, now a 30 minuete Metro ride. During that summer when I returned from Argentina, I started becoming a better person and I didn't really know it. I stopped wearing clothes too big for me and instead wore tight fitted collars from American Eagle. My jeans no longer came from the Macy's sale rack, but from Pac Sun's constant "sales" on bullhead jeans. That school year, I averaged a 3.57 gpa in a county whose grading system is a 6 point scale instead of the usual 10 point scale. Meaning an 80% is a c+ for my country whereas in most other counties it is a B. If my county were like that, I would've averaged atleast a 3.84. The next year I started challenging myself and took AP World History. It's a funny thing, I had a C+ in that class but I received a 4 on the ap exam (above average) and scored a perfect on the SOL. However, my gpa average to a 3.5 that year, because of AP world and I somehow had a B+ in english when we did-literally- nothing. This year in my junior year, for first quarter atleast, I averaged a 2.9-weighted. I am taking the two hardest AP courses- AP US History and AP Language and Composition. Whose exams have about a 20% total passing rate, 10% receive a 3, 7 percent a 4, 3% receive a 5, and about .5% get a 6 or 7. Which is above 100% I might add. My once concrete place on the social ladder is now wobbly, I no longer go out as much. In fact, I don't go out at all Monday thru Friday. I have too much work to due, whereas my "friends" can go out everyday of the week past sunset. Unbeleivably, I still get better grades than them, they take all regualr courses. We were once equal in school, until I started stepping it up and challenging myself. I no longer wanted to be the best of the worst, but for now I'll settle for the worst of the best. Why step up my studies? To get rich later on. Now, I not only want wealth, but I also want to help the world. Like Paul Farmer, I want to cure the world. How much wider my goals and aspirations have become since I was a naive child. My mirror wonders where I've gone. The price I'm paying to get into VMI, West Point or VTech.The price I'm paying for wealth to satisfy my greed. My friends are now acquintances, I am now the loser I once loathed and taunted.

Ten thousand years from now where will mankind be? What if mankind was conquered by an alien civilization, or mankind had to move to another planet somewhere light years away? Those beings will ask, "What was life like 10,000 years ago?" Here we are, with the forgotten answer. Our actions would have been forgotten, yet here we stand. Time is the most puzzling thing of all. Infact, perhaps time is life for both are puzzles. Immortality is unreal, sainthood collapses. The blood of martyrs dry, the ink of the scholars fade. Memories die when the last person in them dies. It's saddening to realize our deeds and feats will be forgotten, but atleast it is certain that were alive and did actions and spoke words. Do not good deeds for heaven, do not great things to be remembered beyond your death. Do them because it is right, do them for yourself. We are all nothing more than specks in an ever-growing universe, of race nothing more than a second to it. We are who we are, we do what we do because it is within our abilities. If it too troubling for you to accept, go on and live in a ignorance, it is your life. All I ask is to try and open your eyes and see reality. In the end, no one cares about celebrities, no one cares what you wore to your prom. In the end, all that matter is if you were happy with who you were. I do not write to better my writing and orator skills, but I write this to ask you to think about yourself and the world around you.

It comes back again and again, does it ever end? Does this thing cease to exist, does it ever die? At the end of every road, near the turn, the unknown, it strikes. The worthiest of adversaries, the one that makes you wise. Change. At many times in our lives we come to realize that nothing lasts forever. That all things come to an end, but for some reason we find ourselves stuck, wondering and pondering about the past that is engraved into our memories. Change traumatizes us, it makes us cower at the very thought of it. We take it for granted that all will exist the next morning, when inf act it all could end this very instant. Does the thought of death ever crosses our minds? When I start a relationship should I already try and perceive the end? Perhaps this adversary is no adversary but a friend that makes us realize that the present truly is a gift. I begin to remember my past, what I've done. I remember my grandma's old apartment in Los Angeles and how I played in those parking garages, the friends I had made and now long forgotten. I remember how I stole from my own family to buy shoes and clothes to look "fresh". God, what have I done? What was I thinking has I made the decisions that shaped my life? The thought never crossed my mind, that my actions at such an age could affect who I would be later on. Perhaps all the stupid decisions I had made turned me into who I am today. I would hope that person today is a kind, considerate young man. I would hope that this young man would find love one day, and know that everyone makes mistakes and that those mistakes are the ones that change us. But even with this knowledge, I cannot help but feel a sadness knowing that today's gifts will one day end and remember what has past. I miss my childhood, I miss knowing that the sun will shine everyday. But hey, that's life and take it as it comes. For holding onto everything, well that ruins the whole purpose of reminising doesn't it? P.S. Runescape truly brings back the memories of old friends, and how it has changed me. Yes, a game has truly changed me. Delve deeper into your soul and you will realize it too.

Thank you.

During this summer I went to a summer medicine "conference". It is the highlight of my summer and the best 10 days of my life that I've had in a while. On the last day, Mr. P one of the program directors asked us all what we had discovered. Here's what I thought when I came home. (I took this from my facebook) After coming back from NSLC I felt something I haven't felt in a while. That is the feeling of knowing something will only just be a memory. Has I miss NSLC I also begin to remember thought I long forgot. Sitting here being bored I began to look at random profiles and I got to a long time friend-chris ammons and I remembered the dumb stuff we use to do so many years ago. The time we explored the under-ground tunnels near us. The time we played with legos. The time I was alone and he was there for me. And now that has past and he has moved on, with only memories left. And I fear that will happen again. I fear because I know. Nothing lasts forever and that frightens me, but I try not to let it show. And so....What I've discovered is that I fear my friends. When Mr. P asked us what we discovered my mind was blank, I couldn't think of something I had learned but I knew I had learned much. When peter asked me what I had learned at C2 I couldn't think either. And so what I've discovered is that I block out certain things fearing that they will change. When I was climbing the tower at the U of M I reached the 2nd level and I felt scared and was thinking about quitting, I didn't and I continued and reached the top and so what I've discovered is that I do not quit. Well, the whole point of me writing this is to share an experiance with you. Not my first nor last realization that nothing lasts forever. Many of you have heard this but I doubt most of you truly understand it. Seize every oppurtunity, savor every moment and perhaps the moments that bore you will one day be the ones that you miss. One day your friendships will break, your love will end, life will die. You should not fear, but acknowledge it. In the end, all we have left are memories, nothing more than pages in a diary. Carpe Diem!

do you actaully have to go to the slayer master to get points or can u just use npc contact? cause i used npc and i got no points and went to duradel once and got the points

I really don't agree with the article that foodfight wrote. For one just because a leader or creator is intelligent does not mean his actions are right. I don't believe that just because a rule is a rule doesn't mean it will or should last forever. For example, during the Prohibition years in the United States possesion of alcohol was illegal. But is it still? No, it is not; and alcohol is a staple of many cultures and in many countries. Sure, at the time banning alcohol seemed right, because many men were beating wives and getting drunk every night. Does that make alcohol wrong? Yes, to some people but to the majority of us think nicely of it. Ever heard of the quote "Rules were meant to be broken." I honestly think i agree with it. As time progresses the rules must change to cope with the changes of our lives. Is law that a colony should give most of it's crops to the mother country right? There's a law in Virginia that states that if one receives two speeding tickets in the same month then one has to spend the night in jail. Is that the best punishment? In that state there are thousand dollar speeding tickets. Just because a law is a law doesn't mean its right. For example, Louis XIV of 16th-century France had a law that anyone who defied him would be put to death. So did Hitler, Stalin and King James; these people were very intelligent but I doubt anyone of us agreed with their methods. Logically, I have disproved the statement "Intelligent people make the right decisions."

I've been playing for about three years now. And when i joined there were noobs,beggers and such. Man, I was even one of them back then. But I think it's best to have that in Runescape. It teaches us the facts of life, no one is safe all the time, people do hurt you at times and there are those who try to tak advantage of you. I remember when i first started playing this guy tried to scam me with the drop your item and press F7 and you'll duplicate your item. I tried it and lucky for me MSN said "Are you sure you wish to exit the web brower?" even with that popping up twice I still didn't know what that scammer was trying to do until the next day. Getting scammed in this game as taught me to be cautious and observant. It has saved me from real pain, I'd happily give up all my items in Runescape than falling in love with a girl that was just using me. But because i learned not to trust eveyone I have saved myself much trouble. The curse of noobs may in fact be a gift of truth. Of course I was mad when i lost 12m,32m, and my first full black set. But I have regained all of it. Besides Runescape is just a game to relax in and to escape the hardships of everyday life.

Change is man's worst fear..

Maybe thats why Jagex came up with runESCAPE lol? =p