Jump to content

Check/Critique my Essay


Knotch_Blade

Recommended Posts

http://www.filedropper.com/tipitessaycc

 

 

 

The world economy is currently nose-diving, and politicians and economists alike are probing for answers and solutions. One of the most well known and often controversial economists, Karl Marx, can provide a basic structure for rebuilding the presently crumbling economy. Karl Marx created a new economic policy and predicted the downfall of modern capitalism after years of studying and gaining the respect and trust of his fellow workingmen. These characteristics lead modern biographers and economists to believe that his compatriots saw him a god-like figure of economic genius, but also an extreme radical; willing to whatever it takes to overthrow the capitalist economy.

 

 

 

Karl Marx was born in Trier, Prussia, into a middle-class family, but even from a young age Marx often broke rules and ignored his parents authority. After his basic schooling, Karl entered Bonn University at the age of 17 to study law, as his father had hoped. But he devoted little energy to his studies (Bussing-Burks). Marx was not a lazy student, but found little interest in law, and thus, devoted little energy to his studies. It was this lack of interest that eventually ended with, his studies had turned towards philosophy, a subject his father thought impractical (Bussing-Burks). Through his interest in the impractical philosophy he became a member of a group called, the Young Hegelians, which applied a left-wing interpretation to Friedrich Hegels philosophy, that humanity would eventually reach perfection.

 

 

 

Marx, with his Hegelian philosophy eventually began to gain interest in communism and furthered his studies in economics. Modern economists still, turn to the philosopher father of modern communism, Karl Marx for insight and ideas to keep the economy fluid (Huxley). Why would a group of expert economist turn to look at a rebellious philosopher? Because most agree that Marx was an absolute genius when it came to the structures of a long-standing economic system. During the Soviet rule over Russia, Marx was the sort of godlike figure with a big, white beard (Conan). The Soviets promoted atheism, yet they still esteemed Marx as their godlike figure because of economic system, Marxism.

 

 

 

There is always two sides to every story, and Karl Marx and his followers didnt just climb up onto the throne as economic royalty, and many people consider him a radical for trying over throw the capitalist government. Karl Marx ended his Communist Manifesto with, Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. WORKING MEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE! (Marx 198). Marx eggs on the working middle-class to shake off the chains of capitalism, and do what ever it takes to gain their independence. Many countries would see this as treason of sorts, and because of his extreme radicalism, Marx was exiled to London, where he spent most of his time writing and teaching the Marxist ways. Marx also thought that everything must have a meaning, his motto was de omnibus dubitandum question everything; challenge everything; criticize everything because of this motto, Karl often had many enemies in the elite group of national leaders and politicians (Conan).

 

 

 

Karl Marx, regardless of the stigma surrounding him and his communist beliefs, has proven to be one of the most influential men in contemporary times. Whether one views this bearded wonder as a radical or an economic genius there is no doubt that he not only predicted the downfall of capitalism but also brought one of the most prosperous eras in the past hundred years, the communist era, to Russia, Cuba, and China.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks to whoever helps out :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't believe this is allowed. First of all, it's a link to another site. Second of all, you have to download it. It could bloody well have a virus for all we know.

 

 

 

Post the full thing if you want anyone to read it.

hatsune-miku-wallpaper-49-1.jpg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, posted it.

 

 

 

Really think I'd put a virus on my own community? :(

 

 

 

It's just a precaution. I have nothing against you (I don't know you) just want to make sure. I thought it was pretty good. I learned something, which is always nice.

hatsune-miku-wallpaper-49-1.jpg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, posted it.

 

 

 

Really think I'd put a virus on my own community? :(

 

 

 

It's just a precaution. I have nothing against you (I don't know you) just want to make sure. I thought it was pretty good. I learned something, which is always nice.

 

 

 

I always seem to write my best at like 3 AM, like I did last night :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

The world economy is currently nose-diving, and politicians and economists alike are probing for answers and solutions. One of the most well known and often controversial economists, Karl Marx, can provide a basic structure for rebuilding the presently crumbling economy. Karl Marx created a new economic policy and predicted the downfall of modern capitalism after years of studying and gaining the respect and trust of his fellow workingmen. These characteristics lead modern biographers and economists to believe that his compatriots saw him a god-like figure of economic genius, but also an extreme radical; willing to do whatever it takes to overthrow the capitalist economy(<~ very good thesis statement).

 

 

 

Karl Marx was born in Trier, Prussia, into a middle-class family, but even from a young age Marx often broke rules and ignored his parents authority. After his basic schooling, Karl entered Bonn University at the age of 17 to study law, as his father had hoped. But he devoted little energy to his studies (Bussing-Burks). Marx was not a lazy student, but found little interest in law, and thus, devoted little energy to his studies. It was this lack of interest that eventually ended with, his studies had turned towards philosophy, a subject his father thought impractical (Bussing-Burks). Through his interest in the impractical philosophy he became a member of a group called, the Young Hegelians, which applied a left-wing interpretation to Friedrich Hegels philosophy, that humanity would eventually reach perfection.

 

 

 

Marx, with his Hegelian philosophy eventually began to gain interest in communism and furthered his studies in economics. Modern economists still, turn to the philosopher father of modern communism, Karl Marx for insight and ideas to keep the economy fluid (Huxley). Why would a group of expert economist turn to look at a rebellious philosopher? Because most agree that Marx was an absolute genius when it came to the structures of a long-standing economic system.(<~ this sounds too opinionated.) During the Soviet rule over Russia, Marx was the sort of godlike figure with a big, white beard (Conan). The Soviets promoted atheism, yet they still esteemed Marx as their godlike figure because of economic system, Marxism.

 

 

 

There is always two sides to every story, and Karl Marx and his followers didnt just climb up onto the throne as economic royalty, and many people consider him a radical for trying overthrow the capitalist government. Karl Marx ended his Communist Manifesto with, Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. WORKING MEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE! (Marx 198). Marx eggs on (too informal, try prompts) the working middle-class to shake off the chains of capitalism, and do what ever it takes to gain their independence. Many countries would see this as treason of sorts, and because of his extreme radicalism, Marx was exiled to London, where he spent most of his time writing and teaching the Marxist ways. Marx also thought that everything must have a meaning, his motto was de omnibus dubitandum question everything; challenge everything; criticize everything because of this motto, Karl often had many enemies in the elite group of national leaders and politicians (Conan).

 

 

 

Karl Marx, regardless of the stigma surrounding him and his communist beliefs, has proven to be one of the most influential men in contemporary times. Whether one views this bearded wonder as a radical or an economic genius there is no doubt that he not only predicted the downfall of capitalism but also brought one of the most prosperous eras in the past hundred years, the communist era, to Russia, Cuba, and China.(<~ this can be arguable. i'm not sure about prosperous, but he did leave a big influence in the countries.)

 

 

 

An intelligent and well-written essay. Is this in MLA or APA? I'm more familiar with MLA. It's hard to evaluate your in-text citations without seeing your references or works cited page, but just remember if your sources came from books to include the page number of your parenthetical cite along with the author.

 

 

 

Now I will play the antogonist to your argument. I think your introduction and thesis statement is well written. However, I have a problem with your conclusion. This should be able to summarize the points you have made to support your thesis. In your final sentence, you claim the downfall of capitalism. This can be argued, as the current recession hasn't led to capitalism abandoned in place of communism. The second point you make is Marxism brought "one of the most prosperous eras in the past hundred years" to several nations. You did mention how the Soviet Union adopted Marx's philosophy, but you didn't provide evidence within the essay to support this final statement. The Soviet Union collapsed, China had adopted a sort of hybrid between capitalism and communism within the economy, Cuba has suffered poverty for decades under the Castro regime. All three of these nations have seen harsh poverty in a welfare-type system, a stripping of individual liberties, and have imposed censorship on all media.

 

 

 

Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is you either need more evidence to support your conclusion, or reword it to fit your thesis more clearly. I would like see more information on Marx's theories, and more on how his theories are interpreted and practiced today. I'm not sure how much needs to be biographical, or what your word count is supposed to be, but you could edit down the second paragraph to compensate if you need.

 

 

 

Although Marx encouraged revolutionary ideas, I think Marx saw communism/socialism as a perfect end to a natural progression in politics. Capitalism became the answer to feudalism, and communism would inevitably become the answer to capitalism.

 

 

 

I wouldn't really say Marx was an economist. He did base economics around his sociological and political philosophies though. It was more about how economics divided social classes.

rssig2.png
Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

 

 

The world economy is currently nose-diving, and politicians and economists alike are probing for answers and solutions. One of the most well known and often controversial economists, Karl Marx, can provide a basic structure for rebuilding the presently crumbling economy. Karl Marx created a new economic policy and predicted the downfall of modern capitalism after years of studying and gaining the respect and trust of his fellow workingmen. These characteristics lead modern biographers and economists to believe that his compatriots saw him a god-like figure of economic genius, but also an extreme radical; willing to do whatever it takes to overthrow the capitalist economy(<~ very good thesis statement).

 

 

 

Karl Marx was born in Trier, Prussia, into a middle-class family, but even from a young age Marx often broke rules and ignored his parents authority. After his basic schooling, Karl entered Bonn University at the age of 17 to study law, as his father had hoped. But he devoted little energy to his studies (Bussing-Burks). Marx was not a lazy student, but found little interest in law, and thus, devoted little energy to his studies. It was this lack of interest that eventually ended with, his studies had turned towards philosophy, a subject his father thought impractical (Bussing-Burks). Through his interest in the impractical philosophy he became a member of a group called, the Young Hegelians, which applied a left-wing interpretation to Friedrich Hegels philosophy, that humanity would eventually reach perfection.

 

 

 

Marx, with his Hegelian philosophy eventually began to gain interest in communism and furthered his studies in economics. Modern economists still, turn to the philosopher father of modern communism, Karl Marx for insight and ideas to keep the economy fluid (Huxley). Why would a group of expert economist turn to look at a rebellious philosopher? Because most agree that Marx was an absolute genius when it came to the structures of a long-standing economic system.(<~ this sounds too opinionated.) During the Soviet rule over Russia, Marx was the sort of godlike figure with a big, white beard (Conan). The Soviets promoted atheism, yet they still esteemed Marx as their godlike figure because of economic system, Marxism.

 

 

 

There is always two sides to every story, and Karl Marx and his followers didnt just climb up onto the throne as economic royalty, and many people consider him a radical for trying overthrow the capitalist government. Karl Marx ended his Communist Manifesto with, Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. WORKING MEN OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE! (Marx 198). Marx eggs on (too informal, try prompts) the working middle-class to shake off the chains of capitalism, and do what ever it takes to gain their independence. Many countries would see this as treason of sorts, and because of his extreme radicalism, Marx was exiled to London, where he spent most of his time writing and teaching the Marxist ways. Marx also thought that everything must have a meaning, his motto was de omnibus dubitandum question everything; challenge everything; criticize everything because of this motto, Karl often had many enemies in the elite group of national leaders and politicians (Conan).

 

 

 

Karl Marx, regardless of the stigma surrounding him and his communist beliefs, has proven to be one of the most influential men in contemporary times. Whether one views this bearded wonder as a radical or an economic genius there is no doubt that he not only predicted the downfall of capitalism but also brought one of the most prosperous eras in the past hundred years, the communist era, to Russia, Cuba, and China.(<~ this can be arguable. i'm not sure about prosperous, but he did leave a big influence in the countries.)

 

 

 

An intelligent and well-written essay. Is this in MLA or APA? I'm more familiar with MLA. It's hard to evaluate your in-text citations without seeing your references or works cited page, but just remember if your sources came from books to include the page number of your parenthetical cite along with the author.

 

 

 

Now I will play the antogonist to your argument. I think your introduction and thesis statement is well written. However, I have a problem with your conclusion. This should be able to summarize the points you have made to support your thesis. In your final sentence, you claim the downfall of capitalism. This can be argued, as the current recession hasn't led to capitalism abandoned in place of communism. The second point you make is Marxism brought "one of the most prosperous eras in the past hundred years" to several nations. You did mention how the Soviet Union adopted Marx's philosophy, but you didn't provide evidence within the essay to support this final statement. The Soviet Union collapsed, China had adopted a sort of hybrid between capitalism and communism within the economy, Cuba has suffered poverty for decades under the Castro regime. All three of these nations have seen harsh poverty in a welfare-type system, a stripping of individual liberties, and have imposed censorship on all media.

 

 

 

Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is you either need more evidence to support your conclusion, or reword it to fit your thesis more clearly. I would like see more information on Marx's theories, and more on how his theories are interpreted and practiced today. I'm not sure how much needs to be biographical, or what your word count is supposed to be, but you could edit down the second paragraph to compensate if you need.

 

 

 

Although Marx encouraged revolutionary ideas, I think Marx saw communism/socialism as a perfect end to a natural progression in politics. Capitalism became the answer to feudalism, and communism would inevitably become the answer to capitalism.

 

 

 

I wouldn't really say Marx was an economist. He did base economics around his sociological and political philosophies though. It was more about how economics divided social classes.

 

 

 

It's MLA, and I had a work cited sheet checked out by my neighbor (teaches AP English IV)

 

 

 

Wanna try and guess how old I am? :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Good. But try to link each of your main pillars together.

 

 

 

Have a logical progression of ideas.

 

 

 

And never forget THE EARL

 

 

 

Topic Sentence

 

Hypostulate

 

Explain

 

Example

 

Analyse

 

Relate

 

Link

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.