You let ninjas into my house! I had to pay pirates to rid myself of them! It's not cheap to pay for pirates! You know how much rum I had to buy? And then the took my gold and left the rum! I could swim in the stuff, that's how much I have!

 

@Halo's edit: What?

@Tyler: well where the hell else am I going to park this Balloon? You know what I have to do to make sure the FAA doesn't catch me? And yes, it is very beautiful here.

And: actually no, its a special potion made from a friend back in Guam, to change Death back from a watermelon to a regular human mortal.

 

Completely unrelated, but my grandpa worked as an airplane technician on Guam during WWII.

Hint hint.

So, wait, Halo's grandpa is Death's son's brother's sex slave? WHAAAAAAAAAA?

My son's brother would still be my son.

 

 

Edit: Scratch that, I forgot to compensate for divorce/death/illegitimacy and such.

@Tyler: well where the hell else am I going to park this Balloon? You know what I have to do to make sure the FAA doesn't catch me? And yes, it is very beautiful here.

And: actually no, its a special potion made from a friend back in Guam, to change Death back from a watermelon to a regular human mortal.

 

Completely unrelated, but my grandpa worked as an airplane technician on Guam during WWII.

Hint hint.

So, wait, Halo's grandpa is Death's son's brother's sex slave? WHAAAAAAAAAA?

My son's brother would still be my son.

 

 

Edit: Scratch that, I forgot to compensate for divorce and such.

Actually, your son's brother is Goon's imaginary friend.

You let ninjas into my house! I had to pay pirates to rid myself of them! It's not cheap to pay for pirates! You know how much rum I had to buy? And then the took my gold and left the rum! I could swim in the stuff, that's how much I have!

 

@Halo's edit: What?

And I guess the window, the haunting when I was in purgatory, the trolling.

Hmmm.

I guess at times like these, our capacity to retaliate must be massive to deter all forms of aggression.

[hide]Yes JFK quote, but it is rather fitting to this situation.[/hide]

@Tyler: well where the hell else am I going to park this Balloon? You know what I have to do to make sure the FAA doesn't catch me? And yes, it is very beautiful here.

And: actually no, its a special potion made from a friend back in Guam, to change Death back from a watermelon to a regular human mortal.

 

Completely unrelated, but my grandpa worked as an airplane technician on Guam during WWII.

Hint hint.

So, wait, Halo's grandpa is Death's son's brother's sex slave? WHAAAAAAAAAA?

My son's brother would still be my son.

 

 

Edit: Scratch that, I forgot to compensate for divorce and such.

Actually, your son's brother is Goon's imaginary friend.

:arrow:

Guys I have an idea.

*goes in hot air balloon*

Halo has offered no denial of my conjecture, therefore it is the truth.

 

The state of Nebraska has just declared war on the state of Maine! That's right ladies and gentlemen, war!

 

A Nebraskan had this to say about the declaration:

 

"Yeah, Maine's been a pain in the ass for a while. But the big thing is that they're hiding Halo2promania. We're taking them out."

 

Maine has declined to comment, and denied rumors of amassing an army of ninjas in secret.

 

The state of Nebraska has just declared war on the state of Maine! That's right ladies and gentlemen, war!

 

A Nebraskan had this to say about the declaration:

 

"Yeah, Maine's been a pain in the ass for a while. But the big thing is that they're hiding Halo2promania. We're taking them out."

 

Maine has declined to comment, and denied rumors of amassing an army of ninjas in secret.

Meanwhile in Connecticut:

 

 

The state of Nebraska has just declared war on the state of Maine! That's right ladies and gentlemen, war!

 

A Nebraskan had this to say about the declaration:

 

"Yeah, Maine's been a pain in the ass for a while. But the big thing is that they're hiding Halo2promania. We're taking them out."

 

Maine has declined to comment, and denied rumors of amassing an army of ninjas in secret.

WHERE THE [bleep] IS GOON! HE NEEDS TO BE MY GENERAL!

WHERE THE [bleep] IS GOON! HE NEEDS TO BE MY GENERAL!

Heh..Hmm...Hehehe....

 

The state of Nebraska has just declared war on the state of Maine! That's right ladies and gentlemen, war!

 

A Nebraskan had this to say about the declaration:

 

"Yeah, Maine's been a pain in the ass for a while. But the big thing is that they're hiding Halo2promania. We're taking them out."

 

Maine has declined to comment, and denied rumors of amassing an army of ninjas in secret.

MEN! FIRE THE CORN CANNONS! WE'LL DESTROY THOSE MAINIANS IF WE DIE DOING IT! CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WAAAAAAAAAAAIT!

Do you want to harm my precious hostage Goonstalf?

Goon's not my hostage...I drafted him...

 

Also:

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

WAAAAAAAAAAAIT!

Do you want to harm my precious hostage Goonstalf?

O [cabbage], your hostage?

 

Well, this doesn't really change anything. I merely wish to get into Halo2promania. And destroy it.

 

 

Charge!

Goon's not my hostage...I drafted him...

 

Also:

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Cough cough

My*

 

Let me explain:

Ahem.

Future Halo knew of this war would erupt and lose pretty badly, because lets face it, Tyler would totally kick my ass in real life. With this information, defeated future Halo travels back to past Guam, where there I told Death's grandfather to remind me to go into the past to kidnap Goon for said war.

Which I did, also future Halo reminded me to tip off both State Governments of a Nebraskan Militia gone rouge and had hostile intentions towards the United States of America.

Timey wimey wibbly wobbly...Stuff.

 

Check and mate, brother.

Ah! But I bet you never counted on McCain becoming president!

O [cabbage], your hostage?

 

Well, this doesn't really change anything. I merely wish to get into Halo2promania. And destroy it.

 

 

Charge!

 

You're looking at upwards of 2000 miles. You might want to consider a better mode of transportation.

Ah! But I bet you never counted on McCain becoming president!

I made for damn sure that he didn't.

THAT WAS YOUR PROBLEM!

 

AS WE SPEAK, MCCAIN HAS ENTERED INTO THE PRESIDENT'S OFFICE, AND IS SIGNING A BILL! ONE THAT WILL DESTROY MAINE FOREVER!

 

 

CHARRGEE!

And with that I must be off. Please keep this up. Please...