Return To What Once Was(Three things return in one story!)

[Harakiri]

THE 6:02 NEWS

 

Hello and welcome to the 6:02 News. After two years we have returned today to give you the latest updates on everything you want to know, and everything you don't.

 

Tonight's episode we interview a man who has not been in the spotlight since the acclaimed documentary, Inside the Noob Police: Why They Are a Pointless Organization of Idiots. His name is a Mr...

 

My name is Blue Jay. I like donuts.

 

Very good sir. Now what have you done for the land of Gielnor over the past couple years.

 

Rid them of the wild, so now noobs cannot scam. Also we defeated the Bald Empire.

 

That was the one with all the wood cutting axes and bald people.

 

Yes. That's about all I've done. Ever since I have sat on a couch with my pet Blue Jay and watched Oprah and ate Doritos.

 

But there is a crisis you want to discuss?

 

There is. Right now the Noob Police are cracking down on the greatest threat yet.

 

And what is that?

 

People who...aren't noobs!

 

 

 

RATCHET573 PRESENTS

 

IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE NOOB POLICE AND ARCHIMAGE

 

RETURN TO WHAT ONCE WAS...

 

 

 

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Chapter 1: Return

 

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Two years ago I worked on a documentary that many will remember as a classic, but I remember as a painful experience. I had sat down with Blue Jay and tried to convince him to let me join the Noob Police specifically to make the documentary. I ended up beating up people from the History Channel, I ended up learning all the tricks of a Noob Policeman, and I learned how big of idiots they are.

 

But the King has found there to be no reason for a Noob Police anymore after they liberated the world of the Bald Empire and eradicated the wild of all evil. Though nobody knows how a bunch of losers like the Noob Police were able to do this, one thing is for certain:

 

They saved us from our greatest threat.

 

Though we would not accept it at the time that the documentary was being broadcasted via Archimages Magic Orb®, we now must accept that they were imperative to our survival as a species, and our survival as a land. If the Bald Empire had grown anymore the lands would have been so overrun, that we would never be able to get around. We would have no room for anything. They would take all the jobs from the lumberjacks, they would take all the jobs from the farmers, and they would continue to grow due to their amazingly fast birthrate.

 

The King did not see the point of the Noob Police after the war, and decided that it would be a good time for them to either disband, or become a regular police force. The public was outraged, now the amazingly popular reality show Noob Police Crackdown would be off the air. The BBC channel was also outraged that they would have to stop airing their most watched show, Comedic Times As a Police Officer.

 

Blue Jay, the leader of the force, decided that it would be a good time to become a real police force. He would be payed more than he ever did as a Noob Policeman, and he could finally kill things that were not bald, but instead things with hair.

 

And, as Archimage Productions always seems to do with me, they kicked me out and told me to come back with a documentary on a month as a policeman under the direction of Blue Jay. I knew I was screwed the moment I walked up the cobblestone path, up to the rectangular building that served as HQ.

 

As with my last documentary, I was told to sit in a quiet waiting room. The newest copy of Runesweek was my only reading material, and after finishing the back page that told the history of the modern leather boot, I was motioned into a hallway by the receptionist.

 

The hallway walls were covered in posters of half naked women and palm trees, a combination I dared not to ask about.

 

I ended up being sat in a large, carpeted room with sofas strewn about. Three people sat in them, holding donuts and watching the orb set in the center of the room.

 

One I recognized as Snake, a man with no conscience, much less any remorse. The other two I didn't know at all.

 

Snake stared at me for a long time, and I swear to the gods that his hands were stained with blood. I didn't want to mess with that crazy bastard.

 

 

 

Snake broke eye contact with the man. A camera guy was not following him this time. Instead, the man had his own camera orb that was trailing behind him.

 

Snake got up from the leather sofa and walked over to the man.

 

"You've got balls showing up here again after all the crap you caused last time." He whispered.

 

"I made you guys what you are now. I was the one who showed everyone your importance."

 

"While making everyone laugh at us like we were a police force of clowns or something. The History Channel went nuts when they learned of an assault on their people, inside a bloody prison of all things."

 

Snake was about to strike the man when a door opened at the front of the room.

 

A man strode in, his eyes bright, his smile only bright because of how yellow his teeth were. He wore a blue overcoat that trailed him on the floor.

 

Everyone fell to their knees, even Snake. The reporter decided it was not the best idea to piss anyone off. He did the same as everyone else.

 

"Please stand. Please." The reporter recognized the voice. He stood.

 

"Blue Jay? Lay off this stupidity! Why the hell are we bowing to him?" The reporter was laughing. "Who would bow to this idiot."

 

Everyone in the room gasped.

 

"You would dare speak to his royal highness like that?" Asked Snake.

 

Everyone then stood and laughed.

 

Snake even laughed.

 

Blue Jay threw the overcoat to the side and laughed. "Well, I guess I can't be a King without the press following me around. Come on in little guy, let's see what you...Oh my god...I remember you!"

 

"Hi." The reporter was smiling.

 

"Get in here. I have got a bone to pick with you."

 

Snake whispered in the reporters ear. "He's either really turned on by you, or your about to feel the wrath of our boss."

 

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2: NEW WEAPONS, AND A NEW ENEMY

 

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Because I am sure Archimage would like to do news segments, I am allowing him freedoms to the 6:02 news. Do whatever you want with it if you want.

 

 

 

I feel I should quickly write a where are they now, just so you know:

 

Blue Jay: Head of the King's Police Force

 

Snake: Deputy of the King's Police Force

 

Noob: Died during the destruction of the Bald Empire.

 

Archimage: Head of the entertainment industry of Gielnor

 

 

 

That should answer some things for now.

 

This is mostly my celebration of two years on the VL, and I always did want to do another Noob Police thing. I think the VL needs Blue Jay back since he left us, and here he is. Don't tell him I made him gay though, he'll get pissed like most people hiding something do.

 

 

 

Any bios will be used, and once again this is a community kind of thing so a lot of stuff will be used that you give to me. Characters and of course news segments. Archimage though, if he reads this, does get creative freedom of the 6:02 news. I feel that he is the only choice for ever doing those.

 

 

 

Please comment, and return for the further adventures of the police...and don't think there won't be a convoluted and twisted story to this, because what fun is stuff set in the S+N world without that kind of story telling?

[Zonorhc]

Don't you have about a billion other things sitting on the front page waiting for second chapters?

[archimage_a]

I do have to agree with Zonorhc on this one. Varrock library is for everyone to post their literary works and, while we accept that some stories lose their direction and others are stand alone peices, posting bits of a story and then posting another bit of another story, on another topic, devalues the much longer stories which Varrock has seen in the past.

 

 

 

So perhaps you could either PM me with a list of topics you would like merging and a list of topics you want to be removed or limit your postings to one new topic per three months. If you have the most incredible idea ever PM me and we will talk about it. :