Okay, so thanks to Mrmegakirby, for giving me that kinda boost to make this. ( You were very inspirational >.>)

and the credits go to my ex,

as this was kinda made for her, and me,

for having alot of spare time,

and space to think.

oh and actually writing the song :lol:

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Screams Of Agony |

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All this hurt that i felt,

All this pain that was delt,

Why did you destroy my life?

Heck You were my life.

 

 

Can we ever be the same?

Maybe you could move on,

If you just listen to this song.

And remember the good times we had,

and you'll never forget that life isnt always bad.... NO!

 

All this time you had spent with me

All this love you had felt for me

It was never ment to be.

 

And, the Screams Of Agony,

They only seem to be.

Aimed at me, from you.

And Eventually,

I will see.

The love behind your eyes.

 

Torn apart from every string of a memory,

Life is just never gunna be the same, I'm going crazy.

Just listen to me, listen to the sea.

Listen to it making a quiet melody.

Listen to it singing, good-bye to you and me.

 

When i'm at school, i have to put on a fake smile.

I try to laugh, but by the mile,

That fake smile weighs me down, like a massive burden.

When will this ever actually become the end.

Laughing is not laughing if your like me.

Sometimes life gets to much to be.

 

(Woahhh) The Screams Of Agony,

They only seem to be.

Aimed at me, from you.

And Eventually,

I will see.

The love behind your eyes.

 

Do you know what it's like to hurt.

Obviously, it's like having, dirt.

Thrown in your eyes.

Kicking and screaming, everything in life seems to despise.

Me, and everything that was to be.

 

Sitting near the empty rooftop

Waiting on someone to make the pain stop

I realise, life is for living not for crying.

Life is also for truth, not for lying.

 

So i get up, brush my self down.

And i turn the frown, upside-down.

And blow away, the screams.

And get out of the bad dreams.

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I Lay Here |

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When we broke up,

It Brought pain to my heart

Knowing theres nothing I can do, cause we are apart.

Also knowing that it wasn't that long.

What's to become?

 

 

Departing over the land,

Tears are leaving my eyes,

Knowing that the further away I am.

It seems to be, the better off I'll be.

What will the last word in the sentence be? You or me?

 

 

I lay here

Wishing that you'd whisper in my ear.

" Everythings gunna to be okay."

" We just have to wait another day."

( When will that day come, What have i ever done? )

 

There is only so many Hours in a day.

I sit on msn, tryna work out what to say.

Wondering if it will have an effect.

Wondering if what i say will just get deflect

Or if it will ever be heard, even after said.

Sitting on my bed, withn the same thing runnin' through my head.

 

 

Your happiness was my endeavor.

I know it wasn't really clever.

If i was to stand up and fight my emotions.

I know that I may aswell, try and swim all the oceans.

But you know I'd do that for you.

 

Torn apart from every day in my life.

I got to stop living in strife.

Leave behind everything in my memory.

I listen to the wind making a melody.

 

I lay here,

Wishing that you'd whisper in my ear.

" Everythings going to be okay."

" We just have to wait another day."

(Everything seems to be going my way)

 

Wishing that conflict never happened.

Wishing that i could apprehend.

A beginning or an end.

But still Wishing that my life would never end.

 

Waiting on someone to save me from this hell.

Seeming that nothings goin' my way.

Waiting for you to tell me " Everythings gunna be okay".

Running away from every form of life.

 

Wanting that last piece of love again.

Wishing that I could forever contain,

My anger, it's something i hate.

Everyone seems to debate,

That I have it under control

But I feel i still have to pay the death toll.

 

I lay here

Wishing that you'd whisper in my ear.

" Everythings going to be okay."

" We just have to wait another day."

(Just another day)

 

As I stand in the shower.

For about an hour,

I realise, that living without a hi from you.

Is something i'll never be able to do.

 

I'm so close to you,

But so far away too.

What is there for me to do?

I'm trying to understand why,

I have to try,

And realise that harmony,

Is having you next to me.

 

I say good-bye.

But I never mean for the last time.

So sing along with me.

Cause when were together were in our prime.

And I'll love you, 'till the end of time.

 

I lay here.....

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Holy crap, I inspired someone. *Gasp*

 

Anyways, I like it. Particularily the one verse

 

"Torn apart from every string of a memory,

Life is just never gunna be the same, I'm going crazy.

Just listen to me, listen to the sea.

Listen to it making a quiet melody.

Listen to it singing, good-bye to you and me."

 

A suggestion, try adding some background vocals at the end of the choruses. I think it would sound really cool.

 

So yeah, great work, keep it up :)

Holy crap, I inspired someone. *Gasp*

 

Anyways, I like it. Particularily the one verse

 

"Torn apart from every string of a memory,

Life is just never gunna be the same, I'm going crazy.

Just listen to me, listen to the sea.

Listen to it making a quiet melody.

Listen to it singing, good-bye to you and me."

 

A suggestion, try adding some background vocals at the end of the choruses. I think it would sound really cool.

 

So yeah, great work, keep it up :)

 

Thanks man :) I'll see what background vocals would work for the song.

And you sure did inspire me to make this ( Kinda ) public :smile:

I guess it was looking at the songs and seeing that I'm not the only one who kinda writes down his thoughts in song.

So anyway, thanks dude.

And keep on writing :)

K, my feedback for the new song:

 

Very well written (in my opinion). I really liked it. I'm not sure if I'm singing it the way it's meant to be sung, but the way I am, it definatly sounds good.

 

Just a word of advice: It doesn't have to rhyme perfectly. Take this paragraph for example:

 

Your happiness was my endeavor.

I know it wasn't really clever.

If i was to stand up and fight my emotions.

I know that I may aswell, try and swim all the oceans.

But you know I'd do that for you.

 

Now, you don't really need to rhyme the first two lines here. I re wrote it here so it still makes sense, but doesn't rhyme:

 

Your happiness was my endeavor.

I know it was all imagination

If i was to stand up and fight my emotions.

I know that I may aswell, try and swim all the oceans.

But you know I'd do that for you.

 

See, it still flows, but now you have more variety on what you can use as your second line, because now it can end with any words you please. It works the way you wrote it too, though. I just used that paragraph as an example. It's something I discovered recently, and just thought it might be useful to you.

 

So yeah. Good job, keep it up, and I look forward to reading more of your songs.

K, my feedback for the new song:

 

Very well written (in my opinion). I really liked it. I'm not sure if I'm singing it the way it's meant to be sung, but the way I am, it definatly sounds good.

 

Just a word of advice: It doesn't have to rhyme perfectly. Take this paragraph for example:

 

Your happiness was my endeavor.

I know it wasn't really clever.

If i was to stand up and fight my emotions.

I know that I may aswell, try and swim all the oceans.

But you know I'd do that for you.

 

Now, you don't really need to rhyme the first two lines here. I re wrote it here so it still makes sense, but doesn't rhyme:

 

Your happiness was my endeavor.

I know it was all imagination

If i was to stand up and fight my emotions.

I know that I may aswell, try and swim all the oceans.

But you know I'd do that for you.

 

See, it still flows, but now you have more variety on what you can use as your second line, because now it can end with any words you please. It works the way you wrote it too, though. I just used that paragraph as an example. It's something I discovered recently, and just thought it might be useful to you.

 

So yeah. Good job, keep it up, and I look forward to reading more of your songs.

 

Advice taken, thanks for the feedback

You made it sound better in my opinion, so you were probably singing it right :)

I've changed it, and thanks for the help :)

After I've posted this, i'll have a look at your new songs.

Thanks,

 

~JimTheRev~