Ballad of the Adventuring Idiot

[Nexaduro]

Formed in flames and bright light too,

A flash of the numbers five-six-two;

A warrior, a mage, a hero wannabe!

Dumbly determined never to flee.

 

Falling flat, then regaining his feet,

Two great constructs he did meet!

One exception to his fleeing proclamation;

Nex escaped with great exclamation!

 

Earthen doors behind him closed.

Sealed, unsealed, via keystone.

Gathering his miniscule might,

Nex then prepared for the fight.

 

Striding in, our hero proclaimed;

"Golems, stand down, or else be maimed!"

Wholly dumbstruck by his words,

The Golems did not hail their lord!

 

Rather than tremble and fall to their knees,

Or even, horrified, entirely freeze;

The vile contructs attacked our Nex!

And by his magic, were ground to flecks.

 

Smiling, the bard-mage strode

Out the door and down a road.

Where is he now? Likely dead.

But nothing indisputable can be said.

 

An effective summary of my early time on the "Dungeoneering" game in the Falador Tavern. In farcical poem form.

I LOVE poetry, and I never really found a means to share my poems with people.

Given my vocabulary and superhuman ability to avoid doing homework, I make the perfect poet :thumbsup:

Anywho, let me know what you think!

Keep in mind, the actual words are supposed to be ridiculous, though I tried to do a good job on the rhyme scheme.

 

P.S. I hope the obsessive speed-posting "Tavern Disease" doesn't infect any of you :-D

[Sy_Accursed]

Its alright.

 

Not really a ballad though, ballads generally are much longer and if they ARE short they very strictly follow the ballad metre to emphasis it, which isn't the case with yours.

 

Some lines are obtusely long and break the nice flow eg it has nice rhythm and flow until

"One exception to his fleeing proclamation;

Nex escaped with great exclamation!"

pro-cla-ma-tion and ex-cla-ma-tion have some many syllables in them they make the lines overly long and break the rhythm entirely.

 

Also rhyme doesn't make a poem good, in some places its obvious you re-jigged a sentence or phrase to a rather awkward form to force a rhyme out of it. Rhyme should seem natural or just not be used.

[Nexaduro]

Ok. The whole thing was a joke to keep me occupied, mostly.

Thanks for the critique, I understand the issues ^_^;

[Earth_Poet]

As Paw pointed out, the meter and rhyme scheme do not fit a ballad form. I like the concept though, but it needs a good rewrite with particular attention to your meter.