SemiFiction Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 We went through the doorway, and what I saw at first didn't mean much (just a perfectly square room, gray granite walls, pretty boring) and it wasn't until I took a closer look that I found something of interest. Annoyingly enough, just as I was about to announce my find, Blue Crab called over to me. "Hey, look at this. It's more English." He said that like English was a recently discovered ancient language. "I know." I said absentmindedly, because at the moment my mind was focused on something else-spiders. Everywhere. Giant ones. Luckily they were all dead, because I didn't think that these would be the docile level-2 ones. Or even level 27. Among the creepy mass of dead giant brown spiders, was about half, yes, half of a human body, with some black armour strewn around it. I crept closer, and when I was about 3 feet away, one of the spiders groaned and I noticed a stream of greenish blood gushing from a recent battle wound. "Saaaave uhhhhhhs." It said, then exhaled its final breath. While that happened, Blue Crab was reading the writing. At about the same time the spider groaned, Blue Crab said, "Hey. This talks about the Black Knights." Well, that explained the armour and person I found. "And speaking of which, come look at this." I said, motioning towards the spiders. "Ah." Then, changing the subject, he said, "Onward?" "No, I want to read what the writing says." I replied. "Suit yourself." He shrugged, then went off to look at the spiders and the half of a man. The writing was this: Here marks the spot of the 7th Intelligence. All members of the 7th Intelligence that have not surrendered will be destroyed. 10th decree of the Black Knights And under that was some directions: Left to City, Right to Execution Center Alright, any noob could figure out what was going on here, but I refused to believe it. Spiders? Intelligent? Whaaaaaaat? And the Black Knights. How did they get here? I needed answers. And it looked like Blue Crab had already gone off to find them. "Blue Crab? Where'd ya go?" I took a few steps down the doorway when I heard some whispering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mrmegakirby Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SemiFiction Posted May 21, 2010 Author Share Posted May 21, 2010 Advice: More paragraps. Each time someone new speaks, it should be a seperate paragraph. Read it to yourself out loud, fix anything that feels awkward. Just my advice, anyways. -KirbyI must have forgot about that. Thanks.Also, did you like it or not? I'm wondering because otherwise I might not write a third chapter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mrmegakirby Posted May 21, 2010 Share Posted May 21, 2010 - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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