this is a fictional tale this did not happen if it did i wouldn't be writing this story . this story is going to be done in parts in this thread and please tell me what you think

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

part 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One day in the very large market place called Varrock everyone was trading as usual not noticing the slowly emerging darkness overhead. They were just trading, laughing doing what they would do any other day. As they were just playing the sewers were overun by new creatures who don't usually live in that area such as lesser and greater demons, dragons and goblins. How they got there is a short tale which is. " As the warriors of Varrock were defending the town from delrith other creatures attacked. Once Delrith was defeated they tried getting rid of the other attackers they didn't notice that the smaller beasts crawled into the open sewers and quickly hidden. As the beast lay down there feeding on the Rats they defeated warriors for strength. As they got stonger they grew and bred so much they had to make more room"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A strong warrior went down there to see if the legends were true, he found a dark area were he couldn't see a thing . He lit his torch and screeched for he had found an area most foul it had large bones everywhere, bones so big he could walk through a fossilised cappilary. As he went deeper the darkness was thicker, he felt a large breath above him, he saw a Greater demon so large it could have killed him just by poking the warrior. The Greater roared "who dares to enter my domain without the smell of my people or of my friends." The warrior said "I am Oris of Varrock I came to see if the legends of great beasts are true." Greater demon "I am weak cmpared to my brothers so i shall have to kill you and use your pathetic items to lure more of your people here so stand still and be quiet." The Greater demon attacks Oris and slays him with one hit.

UUhh yeah!

tell me what is so wrong wit hthis section of my story

It needs some work. I noticed a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. It also sounds like you havent been writing long. Practice, practice, practice.

if you have any problems about this story please tell me the problems so i can fix it or do better next time

What is this supposed to be? A first part to a story or what? (pardon me if i did not see)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think the story needs more practice. After all, practice makes perfect!!

i liked it hu cares aba grammar its not skul jesus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bring out part 2 now plz