The Class was Boring (Poem)

[foolgool]

The Class was Boring

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The teacher droned on,

 

 

 

Half of the kidsÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢ consciousness gone.

 

 

 

The other half was fighting to stay

 

 

 

Awake so they could head for the hallway,

 

 

 

Once the bell rang.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The teacherÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s monotone was lulling them to sleep,

 

 

 

When he asked a question,

 

 

 

There was naught but a peep.

 

 

 

Some say when itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s quiet,

 

 

 

You can hear a pin drop.

 

 

 

But this, this was a different level of silence.

 

 

 

You could hear a flea grinding to a stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ring, Ring!

 

 

 

The bell rings!

 

 

 

The kids flood the hall in a constant stream.

 

 

 

Darn it! You realize itÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢s only a dream.

 

 

 

To your last strands of consciousness you desperately cling.

 

 

 

But alas, consciousness gone,

 

 

 

As the professor drones on and on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading,

 

 

 

~Foolgool[/b][/u]

[issy2]

I really, really like it. It's descriptive and very realistic. We all know how it feels as that clock ticks so slowly towards the end of the lesson you wonder if the battery have committed suicide.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Improvement - maybe you could add another verse in, after the 2nd one, to emphasise how absolutely bored-to-death the narrator is.

[archimage_a]

It was quite good. Not much to say though, it was a good poem. So I am going to analyse it...thats a fancy word for look at and then make up some intelligent sounding reasoning as to why foolgood did this poem because clearly it was not because:

 

 

 

They were bored

 

 

 

They wanted to write a poem

 

 

 

They wanted to write a poem and sell it

 

 

 

They wanted to write a poem and get an award for it

 

 

 

They wanted to write a poem and force small childeren to analyse it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because they have obvouisly spent hours thinking this poem up and then remastered it by adding all of those intresting poetic techniques that we all know and love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Structure, Language and Poet techinques

 

 

 

Point, Quote, Explaination...strike that. Point....Explaintion

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From what I can see of the structure this poem was written as a way of getting back at school. This shows a deep loathing for the teacher and/or school. This is therefore likely to have been written during a particually boring class when the teacher was paying as much attention as the students. The three verse structure shows that first the poet was thinking about what was going to happen, this was most likely prompted by looking around the classroom and seeing many half a sleep students, this would mean that the poet was also bored however rather than catch up on sleep they decided to write this poem to stay awake. The second verse is clearly a personal message to the teacher. "But this, this was a different level of silence.//You could hear a flea grinding to a stop. " this shows that the lesson is reaching it peak of boredem, from person experiance this is normally about 20 minutes from the end. This is usually because the last dregs of the students have lost intrest, even that outcast of a geek has lost intrest in what the teacher is saying and just wants the lesson to end so that they can get stuck into the next, more interesting lesson. There is also the adressing of the reader in the 2nd person, this means that the poet is not content with telling the reader what has happened, they want the reader to share in the experiance. This verse shows a complete loss of interest and finally sucumberling to the soul destroying rapture of the teachers voice. The final, third verse contains the climax of the bell ringing is clearly a sign that the reader should build up hope. However this cleverly is destroyed a moment later by saying that it was only a dream. This tramatic let down means that the reader feels really bad for the poet. Then the short sentances show that the poet is using a very low preportion of brain power to do this poem. By doing this the poet indicates again that it is difficult to stay interested.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

An interesting point on the langauge is boringness of the words. This mirrors the rest of the poem, adding to the effect as the reader gets an obvouis sense of boredem while reading the poem. Another intersting point are the words "Monotone" and "Consciousness" this is an interesting point because they are words that are long, unlike the rest of the poem's shorter more common words. However both words are very boring themselves and therefore have been clearly chosen because of that factor.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The poem has much repeation. The word "The" is repeated far more than is normally expected in a poem, because of the commoness of the word. By this I mean that it is very common and very basic, in many other poems this would be completely out of place because usually poets try to make their poems interesting and engaging. The word "Ring" is onomatopia, it sounds like the word. This is a very sharp sound and there for might be considered as an alarm clock of sorts. This indicates that the teacher knows that the class is not listening and have therefore used a sharp sound to wake them at the end of the lesson. This means that it is accepted fact in the school's life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Archimage A

[foolgool]

Sorry for bursting your bubble archimage, but this poem was written for school, as part of an assignment. I got my ideas and images not from my own class, but from the famous scene in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

 

 

 

Anyone, anyone? Thank you for the critique, and I'll try to think of words for a second verse, then I'll add it in. Good? Great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~Foolgool

[archimage_a]

Thats ok I was'nt particually serouis about it...I might not have been even thinking straight...I was writting it to put off writting another essay...for english :wall: :wall:

 

 

 

I think you should just leave it at that. It seems perfectly fine and if you have fallen asleep it can hardly make much sense...

[Gattree]

Nice to see you again in the forums foolgool. I like the poem. I can relate to that poem very much so. First hour spanish class is just like that for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also Archimage I am fighting for a rule where your post can't be longer than the original post lol. I'm suprised foolgool read it.

[archimage_a]

Hehe if the reply can't be longer than the original post then many English teachers would be unhappy...and most of the time posts will just get shorter as you go along...