January 31, 200719 yr Alright. I wrote this, I am planning a rather long story, but tell me you if you like this beginning or not. Brutal, honest truth is respected and requested. Enjoy. Cailean stepped out of the warm dark house, into the cold dim street. The cold wind rushed suddenly up, whispering cold into his soul and sending shivers down his spine. It was lat in the night, and the moon was full. He starred blankly up and the stars, familiar with a few of the constellations. His eyes, which had been used to the dimly light house, adjusted to take in the night. He stepped off his doorstep, his green cloak barely dragging at his feet. He pulled the green hood over his dark, brown hair. He kept it trimmed, but lately it had grown down around his shoulders, and it front of his eyes. He parted the hair and keenly starred ahead. The path was dimly lit, by candles in the windows of homes and shops. He started to walk off quickly, not wanting to change his mind on the decision he had contemplated over the last four months. He knew the path well, as he got to the village centre, stopping and sitting at the well. His brown leather leggings reached from his waist to the top of his ankles. He took off the small, leather shoes, and put them into his bag. He pulled out his leather boots, reaching midway up his shin, and tied the several knots into each of them. His brown tunic, was covered up by the long sleeved shirt, made to keep him warm. His cloak fell onto his shoulders, all the way down to the back oh his feet. He stood up, standing about six feet tall, and walked in circles around the well he had been sitting on. He paced for a while before returning to his seat. ̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅCailean?̢̢̮ââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâà The Carter III"I can get your brains for a bargain, like I bought it from Target.Hiphop is my supermarket, shoppin' cart full of fake hiphop artists."
January 31, 200719 yr Yup it looks like an ok sort of story. I mean paragraphing is really bad(Never thought I would say that) but otherwise it has a pretty good tempo. I think it needs more work though, it need more story. http://www.uzzisoft..../archimage.jpegWell I knew you wouldn't agree. I know how you hate facing facts.
January 31, 200719 yr Author Thanks. Yeah, my computers "enter" and "tab" keys like to act up, causing no, or improper paragraphing(is that a word?) Thanks for the reply though. The Carter III"I can get your brains for a bargain, like I bought it from Target.Hiphop is my supermarket, shoppin' cart full of fake hiphop artists."
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