Draggneth, Sword of All Dragons (Rated 58/60!!)

Draggneth, Sword of All Dragons

Prologue

The land of Gielnor, with the many barbarian villages covering the land. Every tribe gets along together, like they were all one family. But this was not going to last. Most of these villages turned into large towns or cities like Ardougne or Falador. One of these towns, known as Rellekka, was still living in the days of fire. Grarth, a modern Fremennik villager, will learn the truth of things that threaten their lives.

Chapter 1.1 - Grarth

Grarth has been a Fremennik for all his life. He has never been to a civilized town, nor to any village of other Fremenniks. His home is a small cabin just out of the the town. He is one of the more modern Fremenniks, as having modern gear brought back from friends who travel to East Ardougne or Seers' Village. These are considered very special items.

He is the richest, and most popular of all the Fremenniks. But lately his sources of these special items were disappearing. Ivorr, one of his closest friends, had promised to bring back some armor that the civilized folks wear. His next closest friend, Moltar, had promised to bring back some weapons for Grarth. After a month of waiting, neither returned.

Chapter 1.2 - The Vision

Grarth had gotten very worried about Ivorr and Moltar, who had still been missing for one and a half months now. Grarth, who was one of the best warriors in the village, was going to set out to find them. "The land below is not safe, Grarth", Thorvald told him, "Ivorr and Moltar were both great hunters, they could go there without much harm. Trading their furs for gold, or silver or what ever they use down there. We understand that you want them to return safely". "I must go, they need me I can feel it!" Grarth emphatically said. He turned away and started walking to the door. Just as he was to leave the long hall, Brundt the Chieftain told Grarth "You may search for your friends as long as one of us comes with you." "NO!", I am a very skilled warrior, I do not need help. With that he walked out of the long hall.

As he walked, he felt that Ivorr was gone. He felt Moltar was still alive, but very close to death. Grarth fell to his knees and prayed that his friends were unharmed. As Grarth prayed he saw an image, an image of Moltar, crawling. His sword hand sliced off. Then Moltar fell flat on the ground. Grarth could not feel Moltar anymore. The image he had seen was Moltar as he died. Grarth wondered why he had this vision, and what it meant.

Chapter 1.3 - Strange Occurences

As Grarth had reached his cabin, he noticed something strange. The path that led to his cabin had a trail of blood on it. Grarth ran to his cabin, to get his weapons and armor that he made himself. His yew bow and mithril arrows hung on his side, with his giant sword, he named Chaos Blade, hanging from his back. he was ready for what ever waas out there.

As he opened the door to his cabin, he heard a crackling of some bushes. This was unnatural because there was no wind that night. He found in the wall right beside the door, a red sword. In blood writing right below it said "Draggneth, Sword of all Dragons". When Grarth pulled this sword out of the wall, something strange happened. He had seen Moltar, in another vision, walking down a road, Draggneth in his sword hand. Nothing around him. The image suddenly blanks out, then shows his first vision, as if the visions were linked somehow. When this vision was over, Grarth put Draggneth into his bag as if that was the key to it all. He then headed off, to East Ardougne.

Has anyone read my story(or the parts of it I posted anyway)???

If not ill get it locked :( :(

I did. :D

I admit. Your giving up too easily! Take me, for example; my newest story, The Dirge of Caduceus, hasn't had any replies; yet I'm not giving up. I plan to post more until people read. It's called persistance and patience.

Now, your story. Make your chapters long; or stick with what Darkforaster did: Parts, like you are doing.

Also, you rush the story. Slow down, allow the person to maybe meet a villain or get to know the character (Meeting a villain first is very effective, it gets the reader wondering, trust me : ).

Just do that and it will be great.

And I'm very glad you don't say "Poowned the nubs! Lolz!" in your story like some people with RS based stories. But still, for me, I would like it if you create a character and base it around him (without using people from the game) but hey, it's your story.

Hope this constructive criticism helped. :

Well I haven't given up just yet.

I haven't been on a computer in a while so I dont have a new part or chapter. :(

Grarth was my WoW character. Im not trying to copy the dude who watches the tree patch(i think) in Brimhaven lol

Im glad someone read my story :)

Ill try to get a new part soon.

EDIT- MAJOR WRITERS BLOCK!!! #-o

Chapter 2.1 - The Ardougne Legend

As Grarth headed to East Ardougne, he noticed armor lying on the ground, soaking in a blood puddle. As he picked this armor up, Grarth passed out. Swence, a peaceful farmer just happened to be tending a field nearby when Grarth passed out. He rushed over to him and took him to the doctor in East Ardougne.

Grarth had another vision. This time of Ivorr. He was walking near the Combat Training Camp owned by King Luthas of East Ardougne. There was a big flash of light, Ivorr was not there now. Then the vision blanked out.

Grarth awoke to be beside a friendly looking farmer, and a doctor whose name he never heard. "Hello, Im Swence. Who are you?" "Grarth, the mighty fremennik warrior. Why am I here?" Grarth asked. "I found you passed out near my farm", Swence said. "I rushed you here as fast as I could"

"Am I in Ardougne?" Garth asked quietly as he still didn't have much strength. "It's called East Ardougne now, but yes you are here."The doctor told him. "What happened to Ardougne?" Garth wondered. Well, King Lathas, the king of East Ardougne, and King Tyras, the king of West Ardougne, were both brothers. Before their father died, he split the city between the two princes. King Tyras never cared about his people, so a plague went over the city. Tyras, who only cared about exploring the lands beyond the Undergroung pass, was never seen again in Ardougne. King Lathas, on the other hand, cared about his people so much that he built a wall around the infected city. Only few people have went over there and had come back alive."The doctor told Grarth. "So no one has seen King Tyras in many years?" "Nope"

As Grarth and the doctor continued to talk about Ardougne, Swence made a big discovery.

Chapter 2.2 - The Big Discoveries

"Grarth! This sword you have is King Tyras'! Where did you find it?" Swence yelled to Grarth. Still a little drowsy from when he fainted, Grarth answered "Stuck into my wall in my cabin back home." "Amazing, this sword should be in the Varrock Museum," Swence said as he examined the sword. The sword mysteriously flashed. As Grarth covered his eyes, he had a vision.

There was both Ivorr and Moltar. They were walking together, right past the Combat Training Camp! One of the guards guarding the door to the camp, walked out to them. He drew his sword and stared to attack Ivorr, who only had a bow and arrow and Grarth's armor was defenseless against the big blade. Moltar who had went hunting with Ivorr only had his hunting clothes on, his hunting gear in his bag, and Draggneth in his hand, was pretty well done for too. Then the image blanks out.

When the vision ended, he was not back in the doctor's office, but in a house. This house had no doors, or windows which was odd because he wondered how he got in there. But then he heard something from above him. He looked up, and saw he was in the basement of a building, and he saw a person looking right at him through a hole in the floor. There were no stairs to get out and the person above him looked very evil.

"Who are you?" Grarth asked the person. The person started to laugh, evilly."My name's Tyras, King Tyras. You don't have to worry about me though. The only thing you need to worry about is whats behind you. Good Luck Dieing, Grarth!" King Tyras turned, and walked away, while a Tyras Guard closed the hole up.

Grarth turned around and saw a Greater Demon flying towards him. He reached into his bag to get out Draggneth and a shield, But neither were there! Grarth had to pull out his Chaos Blade, and the battle started.

If anyone can tell im writing this story with notepad so thats why the last two parts have many spaces in them. Ill try to get it fixed soon

\ WOOT!!! RATED 57/60!!!! \

EDIT- Fixed. Ill post the copy I made especially for tip.it for now on

Chapter 3.1 - The Battle

As the Greater Demon charged towards Grarth, he was wondering how he would protect himself as his shield was missing. He looked around the room and saw a barrel. Just as the demon attacked Grarth he jumped out of the way. The demon smashed into the wall which surprisingly didnt break. This gave Grarth a grand idea, let the demon attack and then just dodge it at the last second. The demon awoke from its daze, and attacked Grarth again. Grarth jumped and the demon just missed Grarth's legs. This time Grarth was near the barrels so he ran at them. He chopped one barrel in half and strapped it onto his armwith some rope he had in his bag. Now he had an decent shield and a good sword.

When the demon awoke again, it charged. This time when Grarth jumped his leg was caught under some rocks that fell out of the barrel. The demon, still charging saw this and slowed down as there was no use wasting all its energy on a trapped victim. The demon slowly walked towards Grarth. As the demon had gotten closer, Grarth had to think of a plan to get out of this mess. He noticed his Chaos Blade was maybe 4 feet long and the demon was only five feet away from him now. He decided that when the demon got close enough he would strike his sword on the demon's leg, hopefully breaking it so he could get away from the beast and slay it.

When the time came, Grarth struck the sword against the Greater Demon, which was only 3 feet away from him at the time. The beast fell very hard to it's right hitting it's head on a barrel. The demon was knocked out and Grarth had time to get free of the rocks. He used his shield to hold up one of the rocks that were on his leg and was able to squeeze it out. His leg hadn't been that badly injured but he wouldn't be able to use it for a few hours so hopefully Chaos Blade did infact shatter the demon's leg.

As he waited he made a bandage out of some cloth he had found in a barrel near him. The pain wasn't that bad after about an hour wait so he tried to get up. When he was standing on his feet again he examined the demon. It had broken it's neck! When Grarth looked at its leg, it indeed was shattered. But, just as a precaution he took Chaos Blade and thrusted it right through the heart of the demon. He took a horn as a good luck pendant.

Chapter 3.2 - The Temple

"Now, how do I get out?" He said to himself as he examined the room. There was a picture in the corner of the room. It was a Zamorak sign. But what was wierd about it was it looked like a door, but there was no door knobs or even hinges as he saw in the doctor's office. He walked up to it and noticed very small printing say BONES OF THE GREAT. This must have ment it needs the Greater Demon's bones to open.

Grarth spent an hour getting the bones from the Greater Demon. When he finally had them he took them to the door, and lay them down on the floor just in front of it. The door started to open and what he saw next was the worst thing ever. He was in a temple with lava surrounding it. The bodies of his two friends lay on the floor, the murder weapon right beside them. It was another similar sword to Draggneth, but this one was a dagger.

"NO! PLEASE NO!" Grarth yelled at the top of his lungs. Just as he yelled out he noticed three Tyras Guards coming into the room. Grarth, enraged now that he found his friends, pulled out Chaos Blade and sliced off two of the Tyras Guards' heads. After he disarmed the third Tyras Guard, Grarth asked him, "Where is King Tyras?" "I will never tell." Still angry about the murder, Grarth was in no mood for this. He quickly drew his sword and beheaded the Tyras Guard. As his head fell behind Grarth, due to the power of the strike, Grarth walked off to where the three had came from.

He had an unwelcome surprise waiting for him outside the temple.

Gone Camping. Be back in a few days.

Hopefully I can thing of something for my next chapter. :-k :-k

Anyways, READ MY STORY!!! lol

How many people have read my story?

I want more feedback, other than from Sephy.

Hopefully, I get out of the newest case of writer's block that has affected me.

If not, Well... Lets no go there.

Hehe, Rated 58/60!!!!

WOO HOO!!!

Sephy, if you read this, I fixed the parts that made me lose a mark.

Too, bad Im not at the computer I saved my story on. When I can get on it, Ill fix my notepad copy up too!

And for the last line of my other post...

It means that I'll play Xbox 360 till I can figure out the next chapter... hehe :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

If you read the story, please post and say "GET OUT OF THAT DAMN WRITERS BLOCK" untill I have a new story.

Thanks :mrgreen:

Since this is the first time I am making a non-negative post I will be using Asterisk Pairs to Comment, where usually I might use a negative word. Overal Accuracy of Translation: UNKNOWN

Ok it was *VERY GOOD* and I *LIKED* the shortness of the paragraphs. They gave it alot of feeling, and to be honest I quite liked it.

Err the idea of visions is *VERY GOOD* because they meant that we had a sort of third person view, with some elements of the first person mixed in.

The idea of the wooden shield was *VERY GOOD*, it was using the materials around and lead on to the trouble later. Tieing the plot together.

Finally I wish to say GET OVER YOUR WRITERS BLOCK, you are a really good writer, based on this story, so all you have to do is carry on. Use your surroundings are the basis for your stories. When I was writing Desiral I was thinking about Red Alert, and used it as my backdrop. When I was writing Aura Wars I was researching Auras, and thinking about sound. When I was writing Tales of Zaros I was working on some other stuff, which mainly involved History having three sides. Truth(what really happened), Fact(what fact tells us), Bias(What people said happened). All you have to do is come up with an idea. Once you have an idea you need a tenous link. This is Vital. When I am trying to analyze a poem or something I always start with.

Well to begin with...

It gets your mind working on what comes next, because you have a sentance and you are limiting your choices. When you limit your choices you are forced to go down a path...And never go back on something you have said. If you start by writing "The poet uses a large amount of..." Then you need to find something. That is your Tenous link.

With a Tenous link you are trying to convince yourself, and because you are trying to convince yourself you are writing with passion.

How does this translate to a story?

Well think about it like this. You need to start each post. So if you are having real trouble, write in the form of a story teller.

This is what happened next...

You have a starting point. Then you need your tenous link. Think of what you want to end this chapter with, and then think of how you can get from A to B.

This is what happened next, Grarth found himself face to face with a giant demon....

In a way you have more flexablity than an essay because you have the choice of what to write, this is your blessing and your curse. You need to limit your options as much as possible, this means you have to make the story more and more tenous to keep it creative. Which in turn...increases your creativity hugely...When I started this mini essay I didn't have a clue of how I was going to finish it, I just had the idea that maybe your problem was that you were unable to write something more. It might not have been write, but it was what I saw in your post.

Disclaimer: There are no negative comments in this post. This does not mean I didn't have them, it just means that I wasn't allowed to say them. :wall:

Lol, no negative comments YAY!!!

I made it so he wasn't allowed to say negative stuff. hehe :lol:

My problem was the dang writers block and that my story is saved on another computer. lol

I'll keep the rest in mind when I get my story from the other computer.

FINALLY GOT A NEW CHAPTER!!

HERE IT IS!!! \ -- Next chapter will come when I'm not so busy --

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Chapter 4.1 - Ardougne Secret Palace Guard

As soon as Grarth walked out of the temple, 2 guards grabbed him and threw him to the ground, while the third drew his sword in case Grarth broke free of the guard holding him down. "What the hell is going on?" Grarth asked the third guard. "You are under arrest, for murder and disturbing the peace." He replied. "Sargent Ramirez, search his bag." Sargent Ramirez grabbed Grarth's bag, and started to search it. He found Chaos Blade, a wooden shield, and the demon horn. "What is all this stuff?" Sgt. Ramirez asked Grarth. "My sword, Chaos Blade, a wooden shield that I used to defend my self..." "Against what?" The guard questioned. "A greater demon" "A greater WHAT??" "A GREATER DEMON" Grarth almost lost it. The guard was mocking him. "So whats this thing then, it's horn?" "Actually, yes it is." "Lets go, down to the station for you." The third guard, whose name he heard was Captain Roald, said before Sgt. Ramirez would lose it.

As the four had reached the castle, Captian Roald was called upon and had to leave urgently. "Come on. Your cell awaits." Said the jailer as the three walked into the dungeon of the castle. Another criminal in the cell next to Grarth's looked over to him and said, "So, murder I hear. You know that they hang murderers" "Yeah, I know. Just why would I murder my two best friends? Can they explain that? I have many friends back home who know I only kill if I have to." "Well, then. Hopefully we can catch the person who really did it." Replied the jailer sarcasticly. Just then the telephone rang. The jailer answered, as he watched Grarth. As the jailer hung up, after talking for a few minutes, and turned to Grarth. He apologised for the ASPG's actions. "There was a dead greater demon in a building near where you were arrested. We have found traces of another person who has killed the two in the temple. We are working on a lead as we speak, and you are free to go after you go visit the chief." As the jailer opened the cell door, and Grarth walked out, the other criminal looked amazed about what he just saw. "Lucky bastard" He said under his breath, as Grarth left the room.

As Grarth found his way around the castle, he sighed, "Man that was lucky." When he found Chief Colbern's office his secretary let him right in. Inside he found a marvelous looking room as big as his little cabin. "Grarth, I presume." "Yeah." "Marvelous. Sit, Sit." Grarth sat in a very comfortable chair right infront of the Chief's desk. "Wow, this is a very nice room." Grarth complimented. "Thank You, but to discuss what you are here for, here is all of your belongings. We are very sorry to have bothered you, and if you need anything during your stay in East Ardougne, ask me right now" Chief Colbern replied. "What's the catch? You are just throwing stuff at me like I'm your king." "Well, We need your help catching the true criminal that killed the two in the temple..." "My friends" "...And who releas... Did you say your friends?" The chief questioned. "Yeah, Ivorr and Moltar. They went on a quest for me and never returned. "Oh, well this is personal to you then." "Yes, it is."

____________________________________________________________

Now to go play Sim City 4 :thumbsup:

Good to see that you've overcome your writer's block.

Thanks llamster, good to be back (for now? :? )

Guess going to the US really helped :

Hopefully I'll get another chapter on soon (After I fletch 5k maples, that is)

EDIT: Screw the maples right now, too boring.

Well there is not alot more that I can see without repeating myself. The story is good but it does seem to draw me in and doesn't have that longevity feel that I like in stories.

hmmmm...... :-k :-k :-k

Good it draws you in :)

hmmmm...... longevity.... :-k

Hmmm my own clerical error. It doesn't draw me in is what I ment. Sorry...

Oh and

Longevity. Noun.

Pronunciation: lon-'je-vat-tE

1 : a long duration of individual life

2 : long continuance : PERMANENCE, DURABILITY

3 : length of life

Hmmm my own clerical error. It doesn't draw me in is what I ment. Sorry...

 

 

 

Oh and

 

Longevity. Noun.

 

Pronunciation: lon-'je-vat-tE

 

1 : a long duration of individual life

 

2 : long continuance : PERMANENCE, DURABILITY

 

3 : length of life

I know what it means...

But thanks anyways, now I dont have to use the dictionary for my spelling quiz :mrgreen: just kidding

But anyways, just wait untill school starts for me again (tommorrow). I write better stories in school, so I'll hopefully continue soon. Plus, my best friend is an A+ student so I can ask her to proof read it and give me ideas :)

Just for the record I'm an A+ student too, just dont act like it outside of school hehe :mrgreen:

A+ is overrated...As are all awards. What matters is your knowledge at every second of your life, and its relation to the events that you face...

For instants: At no time in your life are you likely to need to know why Winter happens, after you leave school.

However the things they don't teach you, like how to write a legally stupid document, as Me and Kam do alot, is incredibly useful.

Also it does depend on the skills you are under...For instance you maybe an A+ student, and I might be(apparently) an A student(Though its very clear that I am smarter than SOME of the teachers...) But I would know things that you probably wouldn't, and you would know things I probably wouldn't...for instance I would have no idea who the President of America was....20 years ago...and you probably wouldn't have any idea who the British Prime Minster was 20 years ago. Although to be fair we probably wouldn't know that ourselves...

But you get my point.

Anyway this is really off topic and I should stop...So I will.

P.S. Sorry I was just working on The BlueJay Chronicals Part IV...So I am sort of in Archimage mode still, and you know the story...its not exactly friendly.

P.S. Sorry I was just working on The BlueJay Chronicals Part IV...So I am sort of in Archimage mode still, and you know the story...its not exactly friendly.

YAY!! Part four!

Just for the people wondering what I'm doing (I should have a new Draggneth out by now) I am working on a 'short' story/myth for school. It is about why willow trees are where they are and why they are an object in this world ruled by animals and men. And I might post that on these forums too!

So anyways... I do not know why I like saying "so anyways" at the end of my posts. :-k

But anyways(this is the real one) If I can get my story transfered to this computer I'm on as I type this, there should be a new Draggneth on soon.

Just Hope!! :pray: May Saradomin (And Zamorak?) help me in getting a new Draggneth soon.