Loveship

Yup the eagely awaited other version of Me, Myself and Issy.

This was really difficult to write because its entirly written from Luke's thoughts and what he hears. Which makes it difficult to say what is happening, because people don't usually think, "I am sitting in a room, it is very quiet and there is a pile of twenty books in front of me" It is useally "I wonder what that book is about" Which tells you very little.

So the next part(As luke isn't present) will be in the third person.

The Library of Shakesdale high ~ Tuesday, 1st of July

Why is this chair so uncomfortable, no matter how much I move, I just canÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢t get it right. IÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ã¢ââ¬Å¾Ã¢m aloneÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâæwith her, near her, so close I could stroke her silky black hair if I had the courage, touch her skin... There was no-one else like her. The darkness swirling around us, feeling more lost than ever. Is it me or is it cold? No its being around her. If I could stop this lip quivering, just long enough to open my mouth, and confess my love.

ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬Ãâ¦Ã¢â¬ÅI-ÃÆââââ¬Å¡Ã¬ÃâÃ

That, my friend, was utterly hilarious.

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

9.8/10

I loved it. The only things you could do to improve it would be to add some more commas in. It would make the speech and thoughts more readable and believable.

It's funny, it gives a perfect impression of Luke, I loved it. I think mine was more descriptive but yours suits the story more, the style is fun and readable. It gets confusing sometimes and a few edits wouldn't hurt but =D> =D> :D That's about it.

I didn't understand it at all.

Ok so conflicting views...would it be helpful if I posted the events rather than thoughts version?

I didn't understand it at all.

Read mine first lol.