High Stakes: 5 Facts About Branches of Darkmeyer
By Troacctid
· 3850 views
Light spoiler warning.
1. Vanstrom Klause is a jerk.
He's killed me like eight times already. And he's organizing genocidal atrocities. And he gloats mercilessly about it. It's like if you crossed a Bond villain with Adolf Eichmann and the dog from Duck Hunt, and then gave him superpowers and made him drink blood. What a bastard.
2. The Blisterwood tree is disgusting.
Seriously, look at that thing. And it throbs. It's like a tree made entirely out of zits. I mean, just...eww. 
3. Why are there so many goddamn vyre corpses?
Okay, I'm sorry, but this is just ridiculous. Can we get these things to stack in the bank properly, please? Yeesh!
You might say it's a pain in the neck. :shades:
4. It's really easy to become a Vyrelord.
Two-thirds of Darkmeyer has been trying its whole unlife to gain enough status to become a Vyrelord or Vyrelady. They've been working for years. It took me less than an hour. If it's this easy, you'd think they'd all have made it to the top level by now. What exactly are they doing with their time? *imagining*
"Eh, I could accomplish my life's ambition before lunch today...nah, American Idol is on, I'll do it tomorrow."
"Hmm, I'd really like to be a wealthy aristocrat with status and privilege far beyond my current social stature...ooh, look! A monkey! Haha, it's so cute! ...Huh, I lost my train of thought. Oh well, back to flying around in circles. Whee!"
On second thought, maybe I don't want to know.
5. Blisterwood weapons kick ass.
Seriously.
I can walk up to a Vyrewatch with my no pots, no prayer, and 85 ranged, and do this:
Now that's what I call staking it to the man! :shades:
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