Pratsutagus

I thought it was at first, but I shouldn't have waited so long to get the nail removed...happened saturday morning, but I hadn't been walking on it so it didn't hurt...today I had to walk around campus to 4 classes and back and it hurt so bad I had to stop at one point and sit for a minute...it feels like the nail is ripping the skin off from underneath it, and at the base, where it grows out and is probably disconnected, its slicing at the skin and is pretty torn up. The toe, as a whole, looks horrible now - I have an appointment to have the nail removed tomorrow at 3pm...put an end to this... yeah, I'm stupid, shouda had it taken off saturday afternoon when I could still walk :P

this guy that I went to high school with...I swear, he's amazing... uhh, band...Shotgun Jenny, among others...

music... *as I listen to Eric Johnson's 'Tribute to Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn* ;)

this morning I dropped my 10-pound wooden sock drawer on my big toe on my left foot (corner hit it right on I think, because its the only part of my foot that got hurt - and I was bearfoot, so that sucks...) ...hurt like a mother for about 15mins, especially since I was poking at it trying to figure out if I broke the bone or cracked the nail...didn't, but when I started walking around it felt like the toenail was moving around at the base, where it grows out at, which makes me think that its been disconnected and when the new one starts growing it, this one'll fall off completely and then I'll have to deal with that... :? now that its been about 12 hours, it doesn't really hurt anymore, unless I walk more than 10 feet or stand on it for too long (walking to class is going to be fun next week :? )...when I'm sitting, its fine, but there's a little bit of pain that I can feel whenever my pulse goes to my big toe - the blood pushes on the injured part under the nail I guess...doesn't really hurt, its just odd cos I'm not used to being able to feel the pulse in my toe like that... and under the nail its turned a really dark bluish/purple from the brusing, almost black... :P today I figured out where the health center's at on campus, so I don't have to go to the damn hospital :roll:

I guess I pissed of some kid in preschool and he threw a wooden building block at my head...this was back when kids still played with real wood - solid oak I think, about 8 inches long, 4 inches wide, 2 inches thick...cut my forhead wide open, now I got this big scar there :? that one doesn't really count though because I didn't do it to myself, and I really don't remember it - this is what my parents told me... (I was like 4 then and I'm sure the whole head trauma didn't help) stupidest thing I did to myself, that I remember, was my senior year in high school...I was taking an electricity class just for the hell of it, and when we were doing the unit on house wireing, we had these little diagrams of the power source, and then a room's various wall outlets, light switches, and built in ceiling lights, etc...we had this big wooden frame where we had to build the design, so that one wire running in would power all these things in a certain order...I was tightening a screw down on a wire in the back of one of those ceremic lightbulb fistures and the phillips screwdriver slipped off the screw and went right into my left hand, in that wierd area between your index finger and your thumb...punches straight through the skin and hit some of the muscle - hurt like no other... i threw the screwdriver into the sink in the back of the room, washed my hand, admired the hole for a minute, and then grabbed a wad of paper towel to apply pressure to it without bleeding all over myself...then informed the teacher (who was in his first year of teaching and had no idea what the hell he was doing :)) that I was going to the nurse...walked out - had stopped the bleeding by the time I got there, which surprised me since, with the right light, I could actually see down into my hand...they made me go to the hospital and get 4 stitches...next time I saw the teacher, he's like 'what happened' and was freaking out cos, it /was/ his first year teaching there, first semester, and one of his students goes to the hospital - he thought I was going to sue him or the school or something, it was pretty funny ;) got a nice little scar there too :P edit: where "illegal program" = s-c-a-r...wierd censor :?

what I believe is that you just cease to exist - easy as that. no spirits, no ghosts, no little ball of energy floating around in space, no alternate dimensions, reincarnation, heaven, hell, whatever...one moment you're there, the next...you're just gone... you're not gonna care, because you have no consiousness...you're not going to feel sorry for yourself or anyone else, or be thinking that "damn, I shouldn't have done that"...that's it, you're over in the grand scheme of things, we're not here for a very long time...100 years at the most right? and you're lucky to get that far...and there's really only so much you can experience here on Earth...eventually you'll get caught in some dreaded loop between your family life, your personal life, and your job...you'll be doing the same thing, every day, and then you die personally I'd rather die in my prime - we all gotta do it someday, and I'd rather spare myself the pains of contracting arthiritus, knee problems, memory loss, and all that other crap that comes with going "over the hill" and then falling down the other side... I'm going to see as much as I can, do as much as I can, and have as much fun as I can while I'm here...when death comes, I'll probably be too high on adrenaline to even feel it ;)